Turducken? That’s foul!
If someone is stuffing a turkey with a duck and a chicken somewhere, it’s time for the Thanksgiving Random Ten. Fire up your mp3s, drink off the motherly guilt, and list the first ten your favorite mp3 player vurps out.
1) Belle and Sebastian – You Made Me Forget My Dreams
3/10, because the boyfriend forgot about BS years ago. Except for all the BS he slings me.
2) The Cramps – New Kind of Kick
8/10 “Life is short / Filled with stuff” is, perhaps, the meaning of life. Especially for a turkey.
3) The Pixies – The Sad Punk
5/10 Punks don’t get sad. That’s for the screamo kids.
4) Curtis Gordon – Draggin’
10/10, because it takes cojones to put every single instrument on reverb.
5) Buzzcocks – Ever Fallen in Love
7/10 This is a compromise score. Ah, partnership.
6) Link Wray – New Studio Blues
8/10, even though he falls out of beat, or off the stage. Whatever.
7) Michael Mayer – Love is Stronger Than Pride
4/10 Okay, this electroclash thing has gone totally overboard. When the boyfriend is tempted to grab a glowstick and do a hand jive, I’m over it.
8) Tangela Tricola – Jet Lady
4/10 for making us laugh out loud for the duration of the song. Can we not-so-randomly put some Shooby Taylor on up in here?
9) Tom Waits – Down, Down, Down
10/10 Thankgiving bonus for Mr. Waits. He has a gravel sack like a turkey.
10) Devo – Mongoloid
9/10 This one caused us to tiff about using our indoor voices, so it has to be good.
Alas, this list is only 68% cool. Please do not let that reflect on our records.
BONUS TRACK: David Cross’ “Diarrhea Moustache,” in which he riffs about people who refer to themselves in the third person.
Ryan and Lauren bid you a happy holiday.