Feminism – Page 4

Vanessa eats babies.

Can you see Vanessa’s mouth watering?

Dawn Eden has gone after Vanessa in a post titled, “Feminism means never having to say you’re sorry … for leaving your kids to die.” And apparently Feministe is an “abortion-advocacy” blog. Oh that Dawn. What a card! Why in the world would any news source — even the least-reputable one in New York City — have fired her?

I’m not linking to Dawn’s post because, really, why drive up her traffic? She posts purposely inflammatory, infantile accusations (usually with bad puns in the title, but that’s another issue) — it’s kind of like watching a small child jump up and down and scream, “LOOK AT ME!!” So, no thanks. But you should read Vanessa’s response. She links to the lovely Ms. Eden, so you can get the content there.

The Susan B. Anthony of Pole Dancing

Via Jenn, I found this video of Stephen Colbert applauding empowerful feminist women who are taking the movement to the next level — by poledancing. It’s pretty fantastic, and it hits at an issue that always grates on my nerves: The need to sell everything as “feminist.”

I’m sure that poledancing can be a whole lot of fun (although it’s worth noting that at least one woman in the video said that she thinks her husband enjoys watching it more than she enjoys doing it). I’m sure that one of the reasons it’s fun is because, like any other performance, it puts the attention directly on you — and with poledancing it’s positive sexual attention. Ain’t nothing wrong with feeling sexy, or with trying to please your partner. For a lot of women, including “Susan B. Anthony” here, poledancing is a lucrative skill. It looks like a pretty tough work out.

But that doesn’t automatically make it feminist. It’s not necessarily anti-feminist either, but the constant branding of traditionally feminine and/or male-pleasing activities as “empowerful” is getting old. Although I do love the guy who says he likes feminist pole-dancing because it makes him not look like such a pig when he watches. See? Feminism is good for men, too!

Announcement

I’ll be out for the evening, Jill’s in DC with spotty internet service. Ergo, your comments may very well get caught up in our capricous and arbitrary spam filter and stay there for a long time.

And since I don’t want to be picking a metric gazillion comments from the spam filter tomorrow morning along the lines of “Why is my comment in moderation?” I will say this, once:

Deal. It’s nothing personal.

Except maybe for the Nice Guys™ who leave the loveliest comments in response to the Mary Jane stroke statue post. I’m less inclined to let the whiny ones go through since Mr. Wasteful Twats came by and several others demanded that I make them a sandwich.

In the meantime, go over to Belledame’s place and watch some YouTube videos about feminism.

Bingo!

I’ve been threatening for some time to make up cards for troll bingo, but just never got around to it (plus, I lack the necessary technological skills).

But now, Lauredhel at Hoyden About Town has beat me to the punch and made up Antifeminist Bingo cards (via):

Be sure to read Lauredhel’s post for the details on how it came about and the reasons for the inclusion of “Patriarchy Hurts Men, Too” as an item.

Then print out and keep handy while reading some of the threads around here.

UPDATE: While you’re over at Hoyden, be sure to Feed the FAQ on feminism jargon and abbreviations for tigtog’s wonderful Feminism 101 blog.

Finally!

A Feminism 101 blog! Called, appropriately enough, Finally, A Feminism 101 Blog.

It’s there for your basic questions about feminism, because we’re not here to school you in the basics.

Muchas gracias to tigtog, the Hoyden About Town, for putting this together.

“Madame Speaker” is good for all of us

I know it’s been a brain-popping week here at Feministe, between PETA and Dr. Helen and Purity Kids and slutty cat-ladies. So today I bring you something happy: This Alternet article about why feminism is good for everyone. We’ve written quite a bit in the past about how sexism and patriarchal social structures hurt men, too (even while certain classes of men also benefit). Neil Chethik tells his personal story about how coming of age during the women’s liberation movement helped him to realize his own autonomy and choose his own path:

I noticed this first in college as I contemplated my future work life. Feminism freed me from the expectation that I would be the primary wage-earner in my family. Where I had once considered a career based largely on how much money I would earn, now I could ask myself: What do I really want to do?

Thus, my interest in going to law school vanished; my passion for writing took precedence. I entered a profession that I still enjoy today.

Feminism also benefited me in my relationships with women. The women I dated in college and afterward no longer looked at me as a “success object” — someone who would provide for them. They were strong and motivated enough to take care of themselves. They sought careers and adventure, and a man who would be an equal partner. Thus, I had the luxury of dating, and eventually marrying, a woman whose full potential was not curtailed by society’s limitations.

After I married, my options continued to expand. With my wife sharing the responsibility of earning our family income, I had the opportunity to share in raising our son. In his earliest years, I stayed home with my son every morning before handing him over to my wife in the afternoons.

Later, when he started school, I was the one who met him as he came off the bus at the end of the school day. My wife treated me as a parental equal. Our relationships allowed me the flexibility to coach my son’s baseball teams, attend his band performances and visit his classrooms to meet his friends and teachers.

My own father has lamented to me that he didn’t have as close a relationship with his children as he would have liked. Whatever regrets I have in raising my son, a lack of time with him will not be one of them.

Indeed, I’ll be sitting next to my now 13-year-old son on Tuesday when the president stands to deliver his State of the Union address. I’ll point to Pelosi and remind him that this is a historic day. Her rise to third-in-line to the presidency, I’ll tell him, is an indication not only that girls and women can achieve their dreams, but that boys and men can do the same.

Indeed, feminism and the reproductive freedom movement have brought fantastic benefits to American society. As Neil points out in his article, men have wider career choices now that the burden of being the sole family bread-winner has been alleviated. Parents of both sexes spend more time with their children than they did 25 years ago when far fewer women were in the work force; they spend more time with their children than they did even in those mythical 1950s. Maternal and infant mortality rates have dropped. Poverty has been cut in half. More people have access to education. More people have voice in the public sphere.

Of course, there’s still a lot more to be done. But it’s worth taking stock of the victories that feminism has achieved for men and women and boys and girls.

Get a room!

I probably shouldn’t be contributing to the disproportionate focus on the ballad of Carrie Bradshaw’s ring finger in whither-chastity discussions, so I’m just gonna open it up here. I’m definitely not going to argue that S&TC was progressive (although I’d love to hear Susan Douglas write about it)–either in terms of feminism or in any number of other directions (A brunette and a redhead! Edgy!). But there were some things about it that I thought were very interesting, and it was a guilty pleasure.

So, what did you think of Charlotte?

Looking for a few good writers

Two calls for submissions:

-First, the NYU daily student newspaper, The Washington Square News, is looking for a columnist to write about feminism, gender and sexuality, sex, or anything along those lines. Of course, you have to be an NYU student, but there are some NYU students who read this blog, right? …right? The WSN feminist column is my old digs, so I really hope someone will step up and carry on the torch. If a weekly column is too large a commitment, they also accept submissions. One of the current opinion editors, Matt, is a former writer of mine, and I can promise that he’ll be a great guy to work for. Don’t let the head-to-toe black scare you.

Email opinion@nyunews.com if you’re interested. Or go to their open house TODAY (Wednesday) from 4-6 (in other words, now). Sorry for the last-minute notice.

2. New Moon is looking for political girl bloggers. Head over there for the details.

Wonderful, Glorious Me

I’ve been doing a little poking around through our trackbacks, and it seems that a number of people have found the comments to these posts a bit disheartening, in a god-when-can-we-ever-stop-berating-ourselves kind of way. For example, Maia wrote,

What I think is so important in what Jill wrote is that for many women feminism does not solve our relationship between food and our bodies, it just helps name the problems. It’s also a lot easier to talk about food and body politics in the abstract, which can leave everyone feeling that they’re a bad feminist for not figuring out this stuff by themselves.

A lot of women on this heartbreaking, rage-inducing, thread that piny started, talked about the conflict between feminism and their feelings about their body. Or going further, that feminist analysis just adds a level of guilt to what they’re doing, that they should be strong enough and smart enough not to let this society get to us.

Which is bullshit, we do the best that we can, but none of us are strong enough and smart enough to deal with all of this on our own. (I say “all of this” deliberately, because I think body and food issues are about society’s image of women, but they’re also about so much more. They’re about control and losing control. They’re a way of conforming with what women should be, and a way of resisting.)

If we’re going to do anything that allows us to take up space, we’re going to have to do it together.

So. Let me try to open up the floor to give us a chance to do something together.

We’re conditioned, particularly as women, to be self-deprecating, to not take up space, to not revel in our bodies and ourselves. We can get 150 comments in a thread about when we realized that we were aware our bodies weren’t up to snuff; let’s see how many we can generate praising ourselves.

Your mission: list at least five things you love about your body and yourself. Five is the floor; you can always do more. And no self-deprecation! No offsetting a compliment with a dig.

I’ll start:

1. I’ve got great skin.

2. I’ve got beautiful blue eyes.

3. I can lift an 85-pound barbell just using my ass.

4. I can bench-press 50 pounds of plates on a 45-pound bar, and I’m nowhere near my natural limits on that.

5. I’m smart as hell.

Okay, your turn. Tell us how wonderful you are.

UPDATE: Hugo got the idea that this is a women-only thread. Nope. Men welcome. And he’s got some thoughts about male body anxiety and the forms it takes.