March 2011 – Page 6

Question.

Who are your favorite feminist/social justice bloggers who don’t get the attention they should? What other blogs should Feministe readers be reading?

Japan

Sending prayers and positive thoughts their way.

Anyone know of good local relief organizations worth donating to?

Is it “chivalry” if women do it as often as men?

A pregnant woman in Brooklyn kept track of how often people gave her their seat on the subway. The results? People give up their seats a lot! Except on the G train, where people are bastards (probably because they’re mad they have the ride the worst train in the city — understandable). And men and women give up their seats at roughly the same rates.

So it’s kind of weird that the article is titled “Pregnant Commuter Tracks Subway Chivalry.” And also that the formerly pregnant woman announces that “chivalry is not dead.” I’m pretty sure this is just evidence that being a polite and decent human being isn’t dead, and that New Yorkers aren’t actually huge assholes. It’s polite and decent for people to get up for pregnant women, old people and people with physical disabilities. It would be “chivalrous” for men, as a class, to get up for women and let us all sit down just because we’re women. That would also be stupid. Don’t do that (unless I’m carrying like 3 heavy bags, and then you should totally do that). What would not be stupid, however, would be for men on public transportation to learn how to sit with their knees together, and to not take up two seats because they have to let their balls air out.

But no, getting up for a pregnant woman on the subway is not chivalry, especially when the stats show that women do it about as often as men. It is just something you should do because it’s decent and right (it is also making yourself feel morally superior). Except when you ruin someone’s day by offering them a seat and then figuring out they aren’t actually pregnant (as I have done at least once).

I Wanna Be a Billionaire So Freakin’ Baaad

If you’re an aspiring billionaire (I mean, aren’t we all?), I’m sure you’re obsessing over Forbes’ list of billionaires, studying it meticulously and figuring out how you can make the cut. If you’re a woman, your role models are somewhat limited as there are only about 100 women on the list, out of over 1,200.

But there are some cool findings nonetheless…

Two Indian women made the list: Savitri Jindal in the steel industry and Indu Jain, who’s in media.

There are six 20-somethings on the list, including Yang Huiyan from China, whose fortune comes from real estate.

Oprah’s still on the list (duh), tied at 420 with some other folks worth $2.7 billion. They list “television” as the source, reminding us that she is not, in fact, the queen of the world.

I’m not sure I really learned anything from the list other than find a Walton heir to the Walmart dynasty. Well, that, and the realization that I’ve never ever aspired to be a billionaire. (Shocker, right?)

New York politician opens hearing on Muslims

Well, Peter King will definitely be getting his name in the history books in the chapter on post-9/11 racism and fear-mongering. I’d like to think we learned something from McCarthyism and Japanese internment and other uglier-than-even-usual periods in our history, but I guess not. (Surprising? No. Disgusting? Yes). It’s appalling that a United States congressman can organize hearings to discuss the dangers posed by our Muslim neighbors, but point out that maybe far-right folks like Peter King and Tea Party members across America are racist and ignorant, and you get fired.

In reality, terrorist plots by far-right organizations in the United States outnumber those by Muslims. But I guess that’s different.

Here, I will help you vomit up your lunch.

A few things to make you sick as hell this fine evening (sexual assault trigger warning on this post):

1. Why men prefer innocent girls to bad girls. Shorter Rich: Women who are over the age of 16, or who have done anything fun or interesting, are like snow that has been driven over and turned black with exhaust. And probably peed on. Basically, Rich has some issues — he finds intelligent women “intimidating.” He finds women who know what they’re doing in bed, or who enjoy sex, to be “intimidating” and “promiscuous.” But mostly he doesn’t like bad girls because “A bad girl is tough to control.” Actual quote. I wonder why Rich is still single? Get a chocolate lab, Rich, they’re really nice.

2. Frat boy email refers to women as “targets” who “aren’t actual people like us men,” and then offers detailed instructions on how to sexually assault them (“Non-consent and rape are two different things”) (trigger warning, obviously, on that link). It’s actually much more misogynist and rapey than I’m making it sound, and it’s racist to boot. I hope the name of the sender is found out, and he’s expelled.

3. In an article about the gang-rape of an eleven-year-old girl by 18 men in Texas, the New York Times includes the following:

Residents in the neighborhood where the abandoned trailer stands — known as the Quarters — said the victim had been visiting various friends there for months. They said she dressed older than her age, wearing makeup and fashions more appropriate to a woman in her 20s. She would hang out with teenage boys at a playground, some said.

“Where was her mother? What was her mother thinking?” said Ms. Harrison, one of a handful of neighbors who would speak on the record. “How can you have an 11-year-old child missing down in the Quarters?”

Maybe the Times was including those descriptions and quotes to illustrate the ass-backwardness of statements like that, when obviously an 11-year-old girl hanging out in a certain neighborhood or wearing make-up isn’t asking to be gang-raped by 18 men. But it kind of just reads like victim-blaming.

Traditional marriage is dead. Let’s celebrate.

My latest in the Guardian.

How to split a check at a restaurant

I would agree with most of this if you took out the misogyny, and I’ll add that approximately 90 percent of the people I dine with on a regular basis are Young Attractive Women, and somehow we all manage to split the bill without issue. In fact, there is often too much money on the table, because no one wants to be That Guy who screws everyone else. Weird.

Also, makes me glad that none of my friends are pains in the ass who will go to dinner with 10 people and then insist that we itemize the check instead of just dividing it evenly. If you came late and just ordered a glass of wine, fine. But “you ordered the salmon and I only got a burger” is irritating, impossible to calculate in large groups, and makes the waitstaff hate you when you hand them 10 cards with 10 different amounts to charge, which never actually add up to the total cost of the meal.

This is also why I hate enormous group dinners. Four people is plenty, thank you, unless it’s someone’s birthday.

Some fabulous Guatemalan teenage girls could do with your help

I’ve recieved an email I think you should take a look at. Lucas writes…

[…] I’ve been asked by a group I volunteer with in Guatemala to organize and lead some workshops on video and visual storytelling. The group is called Voces de Cambio, an after-school program for teenage girls that through writing and photography helps encourage participants to construct a new social narrative, one in which they occupy equal and authentic voices within their communities. It’s a great program and does some really amazing work.

It certainly sounds like it. Voces de Cambio has been running in Quetzaltenango since 2006, and in that time many young women have participated in 15 week courses as well as continued afterwards with the Young Women’s Network. It’s the only all-girls afterschool program in the country.

Voces de Cambio needs to raise $7500 (USD) by 22 March in order for the video program to be funded, not a dollar less. They’ve currently got about half the needed funding pledged.

Depending on how much you pledge, you can receive a postcard, prints, or copies of films made by participants in the program. There’s no such thing as too little or too much, so please contribute if you can.

But years of reading lady-mags told me I’m a pear!

“I totally care about breast cancer now.” -Men everywhere.

Time for another ridiculous Facebook game to supposedly raise awareness about breast cancer by attempting to titillate men:

We are playing a game. Someone proposed that we WOMEN do something special on Facebook to help with Breast Cancer Awareness. It’s easy, and I’d like you to join us to help it spread. Last year it was about writing the color of the bra that your were wearing in your Fb status and it left men wondering for days why the women had random colors as their status. This year it has to do with your relationship status. You will state where you are, by posting one of the codes below. Remember – don’t reply to this message just type your 1 word response in your status box on your profile. Then cut and paste this whole message into a new message and send it along to your female friends….

Blueberry: Im single
Pineapple its complicated
Raspberry: Im a touch and go woman
Apple: Engaged
Cherry: In a relationship
Banana: Im married
Avocado: Im the “other one
Strawberry: Cant find the right one
Lemon: Wish i was single
Grape: wants to get married.
The bra game reached TV, lets get this one to do the same, and show everyone how powerful women are.

No. Stupid. I’m ruining the game.

This actually does not show anyone how powerful women are. This shows people that we can post the names of fruit in our statuses. It also shows people that we can publicly embarrass ourselves by coordinating asinine games (and also that we can’t be bothered to use proper punctuation. I am not looking forward to the myriad misspellings of “avocado” that I’m bound to see over the next few weeks). And what in holy hell is a “touch-and-go woman”? (Sounds illegal). And doesn’t Facebook already list your relationship status if you want it to? Also, what does this have to do with breast cancer again? Most of these fruits aren’t even round!

Idea: If you want to raise awareness about breast cancer, don’t do this, because it is stupid and a waste of everyone’s time and is in fact really really insulting. Actually? Don’t focus on “raising awareness” about breast cancer at all. (You: “Hey, have you heard that there is this thing called breast cancer?” Everyone else: “Whaaaat? Tell me more! But let’s talk about fruit also.” No.) Perhaps instead, post some stats — like the fact that 1 in 8 American women will develop breast cancer in her lifetime. Or link to an organization that works on finding a cure, or or that supports women with cancer, or that does a multitude of other actually productive things.

Go do that. Or, I don’t know, use Facebook to keep posting videos of cats. Because believe me, no dude is going to be sitting around reading Facebook thinking, “WHAT THE HELL IS WITH ALL OF THIS FRUIT wow you guys breast cancer is super important, let’s do something about that.”