In defense of the sanctimonious women's studies set || First feminist blog on the internet

Here, I will help you vomit up your lunch.

Jill

A few things to make you sick as hell this fine evening (sexual assault trigger warning on this post):

1. Why men prefer innocent girls to bad girls. Shorter Rich: Women who are over the age of 16, or who have done anything fun or interesting, are like snow that has been driven over and turned black with exhaust. And probably peed on. Basically, Rich has some issues — he finds intelligent women “intimidating.” He finds women who know what they’re doing in bed, or who enjoy sex, to be “intimidating” and “promiscuous.” But mostly he doesn’t like bad girls because “A bad girl is tough to control.” Actual quote. I wonder why Rich is still single? Get a chocolate lab, Rich, they’re really nice.

2. Frat boy email refers to women as “targets” who “aren’t actual people like us men,” and then offers detailed instructions on how to sexually assault them (“Non-consent and rape are two different things”) (trigger warning, obviously, on that link). It’s actually much more misogynist and rapey than I’m making it sound, and it’s racist to boot. I hope the name of the sender is found out, and he’s expelled.

3. In an article about the gang-rape of an eleven-year-old girl by 18 men in Texas, the New York Times includes the following:

Residents in the neighborhood where the abandoned trailer stands — known as the Quarters — said the victim had been visiting various friends there for months. They said she dressed older than her age, wearing makeup and fashions more appropriate to a woman in her 20s. She would hang out with teenage boys at a playground, some said.

“Where was her mother? What was her mother thinking?” said Ms. Harrison, one of a handful of neighbors who would speak on the record. “How can you have an 11-year-old child missing down in the Quarters?”

Maybe the Times was including those descriptions and quotes to illustrate the ass-backwardness of statements like that, when obviously an 11-year-old girl hanging out in a certain neighborhood or wearing make-up isn’t asking to be gang-raped by 18 men. But it kind of just reads like victim-blaming.

51 thoughts on Here, I will help you vomit up your lunch.

  1. Don’t you just wish there was some way to boost your own ego without using the people around you? Too bad it’s impossible to feel good about yourself with smart people around…

  2. I wouldn’t have thought it possible, but pie is now ruined for me. Thanks, unknown USC douchewad.

    I can’t endorse wishing Rich on a chocolate lab, though. Too cruel.

  3. re: 2. I’m so confused. Which fruit status should I now identify with? My lady mag one, my facebook meme one, or my frat code one? Begin a woman is so hard, having to keep up with all these different types of fruit that represent me.

  4. The quote from the nytimes article that pissed me off was…

    “It’s just destroyed our community,” said Sheila Harrison, 48, a hospital worker who says she knows several of the defendants. “These boys have to live with this the rest of their lives.”

    What about the 11 year old child that they gang raped?!

  5. Ooh–this makes me SOOO mad, especially as a victim of sexual assault at age 13. First, blame the victim, and then blame the mother. And also express dismay at the rapists’ lives being ruined. Makes me want to hit something!!!!

  6. It’s such a shame that the woman is always the problem and the cause of being assaulted. I recently heard a radio talk show host discussing how many people still view being a single mom as a bad thing but not being a single dad. Somehow the women are not worthy regardless of how they come be to single with children and worse if they are assaulted because they probably provoked it.

  7. The only redeeming of humanity in any of these pieces are the reader comments on the Marie Claire piece.

  8. craftydabbler: The quote from the nytimes article that pissed me off was…“It’s just destroyed our community,” said Sheila Harrison, 48, a hospital worker who says she knows several of the defendants. “These boys have to live with this the rest of their lives.”What about the 11 year old child that they gang raped?!

    Ditto, but I have noticed that is a trend nowadays, everyone sympathizes with how horrible the criminal/perpetrator/rapist/murderer must feel and how they have to ive with ti the rest of their lives as if their victims and the ictims families are totally fine and just A-Ok. Nobody considers the victims anymore it seems.

  9. Whoever who wrote the e-mail out is like…

    Re: The Kappa Sigma email –

    I’m seeing comments elsewhere that say the author already been found out – but I’m so cynical I’ll be surprised if he gets any punishment other than a light tap on the wrist. After all, the executive director of KS, Mitchell Wilson, explicitly stated that he thinks this is some kind of prank by an outsider. Gee, you don’t suppose that’ll skew KS’s investigation?
    So my speculation is that KS is not so much looking for the author so much as they are looking for a way to spin the situation.

    There’s more here – what leaders from USC say about the e-mail, and about women, is pretty revealing – and possibly triggering, watch out for that comment section.

    And even if the author does get some kind of discipline, I’m sure he’ll also go on a cross-country media touring to complain about how his freedom of speech has been infringed upon. I’m curious now to see if there’s anything in KS’s charter that says anything about conduct members need to adhere to – or at least make the appearance of adhering to.

    PS what is this “Soft Report” the author is responding to anyway?

  11. my niece is 11 and the idea that anyone could mistake her for an adult is a lie. a flat out lie. I let her try on my fancy dresses and work suits- suited to a woman her mid 30s, thankyouverramuch, and she looks like a child in adult’s clothing- despite being bigger breasted than me.

    those men knew they were raping a child. end of story.

  12. But mostly he doesn’t like bad girls because “A bad girl is tough to control.”

    Pfft. A bad girl doesn’t need to be controlled unless she gets off on it AND asks for it. And then you actually have to know what you’re doing to play the part well. No wonder this twit is intimidated.

  14. I didn’t read the article linked in number 1 because, why? But I have to say I appreciate him admitting to being such a total and complete fuckwad in public so that any woman with half a brain and an ounce of self-respect knows not to date him.

    The other two articles I will also not read because oh my god I hate the world. I don’t even have anything even a little snarky to say about either of those.

  16. The hilarious thing about the first article is the link early on where the author pines “Why do girls always go for jerks?” It amazes me that people still don’t understand why a woman might prefer an attractive man over a petty, insecure, controlling man.

    The other two articles are too infuriating/depressing for me to comment on.

  17. The scary part about the first one is that it actually got published. Seriously, what kind of editor sits down and decides that that is a worthwhile opinion piece?

    As for the third one, I think the quote found by craftydabbler is much worse than the one in the OP.

  18. craftydabbler: “It’s just destroyed our community,” said Sheila Harrison, 48, a hospital worker who says she knows several of the defendants. “These boys have to live with this the rest of their lives.”

    It has destroyed the community because a bunch of the accused are on the local winning basketball team.

  19. I agree with the above comments about the NYT article – I also questioned whether the information about the 11 year old victim’s clothing was a suggestion that she was culpable. I also wondered about the hand wringing from the women quoted about where this child’s mother was; here’s my question where were the parents of the 18 perpetrators — some of them were also quite young and for some reason their depravity was not imbued to their parents.

    What kind of world are we living in when young men videotape a brutal rape as though it is entertainment or a source of pride to be distributed for viewing pleasure. That kind of depravity makes me think these young men are devoid of basic humanity and a basic understanding of what is right and what is wrong. Maybe the NYT should question how the parents of these men could raise children with a belief that women are subhuman.

    This is very similar to the gang rape of a young student in California last year where other students that were not actually committing the violence stood around and did nothing to help a child that was so brutalized she now has brain damage.

    Maybe the NYT should ask what kind of young men our society is producing that believe women are garbage and that they can pass around a video of the attack with the belief that they will get away with this heinous crime.

  20. I’ve seen some criticism elsewhere of the New York Times article about the 11-year-old rape victim. As far as I’m able to read it, the article makes it very clear that the blame-the-victim statements were all made by people in the neighborhood, and not added by the newspaper itself. That doesn’t seem like a problem–although it’s certainly unpleasant. If that’s the local opinion, then it’s part of the story.

    And are these people with the vile comments all women? But maybe all the men are in jail at this point.

  22. Yes, the statements were made by the neighborhood citizens, but the NYT writer made the choice to repeat them. The NYT writer also had the power to interview a sexual assault counselor, say, who might provide insight about victim-blaming. He didn’t. That is a choice, and a telling one.

  23. The attitude of the person quoted in the OP comes off as a defeated one, they no longer even TRY to punish the perptrators or hold them acocuntabe, only thing they do now is stay away from them. That is textbook enabling and its soooo common that it breaks my heart. It really does because its why crime rates are the way they are in many areas, nobody wants to go to the police, everybody is afraid to even be sympathetic to the victim for fear of becoming the next target. It’s a lot easier to say this would not have happened if, because it gives a sense of control over the situation a very FALSE sense of control.

    My blood boils that the people who did this aren’t all sitting in jail right now facing at least 25 years a piece. The level of violence and brutality and lack of remorse is scary and for some of them to be so young, just wtf.

  24. Yesterday I made the mistake of reading the comments section of a CNN article regarding that gang rape.

    I lost count of how many times I saw people refer to the little girl having “buyer’s remorse” and how she “wanted it”. People were swearing that this girl seduced ALL of the men and that they’re the victims, she’s just a little slut. I quite literally threw up after reading through about 100 comments.

    It says something disgusting about our society when not only is a gang rape of a CHILD accepted, but that the rapists are seen as the innocent lil’ victims.

    I haven’t read that USC frat vomit yet. I don’t dare read that at work, just from the comments here I know that it’ll trigger me.

  25. I was disgusted and appalled by the Frat boy email. Whats worse is I bet most ‘lads’ would simply find it a laugh. This kind of mysogynism surrounds us in every form building and pentrating dangerous values deeper into the system.

    A perfect example -this viral aimed at young women!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mkz1VzglwvI

  26. @tei tetua – oh well then, that makes it all better to publish victim-blaming filth, instead of an article demanding to know where America’s pathological fetishisation of sexual violence against young women will stop. Yeah, it was only the word of the locals, and I mean, there’s no smoke without fire is there? You don’t seem to realise that every time someone reads the lines about those “poor boys” that the eleven year old gang-rape victim is violated over and over again.

    Must be her fault for being alone with males, for not wearing a jilbab, for being out in a rough part of town. Not to mention that she didn’t report the attack herself, so that clearly means the whole thing was blown up out of all proportion from her enticing those poor wayward boys into her trap. She must have been sexually active for a long time to not suffer serious trauma after that, so it’s not like some little innocent virgin was dragged into a back alley.

    I read all those sentiments in comments on an article somewhere else. It was her fault. Had to have been. Otherwise why would it have been reported by the NYT in such a fashion? Oh there must be more to it, that was the constant refrain. Oh those poor boys.

    That writer made a conscious decision to inform that girl and her family, by proxy, what that whole town thinks of what happened to her. She’s eleven, she deserves safety and protection (as does any victim of brutality regardless of age, sexual history or status) not mudslinging based on how she was dressed, not vile intimations that she was ‘asking for it’.

    So fuck that writer, fuck those ‘poor boys’ and that town full of victim-blaming scumbags, and the rape culture that makes men out to be nothing more poor oppressed victims of a woman’s right to say ‘No’.

  27. Shannon Drury: Yes, the statements were made by the neighborhood citizens, but the NYT writer made the choice to repeat them. The NYT writer also had the power to interview a sexual assault counselor, say, who might provide insight about victim-blaming. He didn’t. That is a choice, and a telling one.

    The article wasn’t about victim blaming. It was about a horrible act and some community members’ reaction to it. Which included prayer services for the victim by some of the area churches, a revelation apparently overlooked in #5 and #10, and others the

  30. Yes, the statements were made by the neighborhood citizens, but the NYT writer made the choice to repeat them. The NYT writer also had the power to interview a sexual assault counselor, say, who might provide insight about victim-blaming. He didn’t. That is a choice, and a telling one.

    Exactly. If I’m reporting on a story and someone makes some controversial statements, I try to provide some context or balance. Speaking to a rape counselor is often a good idea – they tend to make very informative statements on the issue.

    You don’t seem to realise that every time someone reads the lines about those “poor boys” that the eleven year old gang-rape victim is violated over and over again.

    It was that writer’s job to report those statements – at the very least, they paint a very particular and disturbing picture. As mentioned upthread, it is now very common to frame such incidents as “bad things that happen to the poor perpetrators” as opposed to bad things that happen to the actual victims. Society is more aware of rape – but that awareness is lending itself to treating the rapists as the victims. It’s definitely worth reporting on – but once again, there was no context provided.

  31. Well, I’ve read why people say that the NYT article was wrong, and thanks for explaining, but I don’t buy it. I think it’s crystal clear that those statements by the neighbors just extended the viciousness of the attackers, and there’s no need for the journalist to say any more or to provide “context”. The story itself is the context, and we shouldn’t need to be told what to think. Maybe I should send a message to the NY Times agreeing with their presentation of that story.

  32. Emeryn:
    Yesterday I made the mistake of reading the comments section of a CNN article regarding that gang rape.

    I lost count of how many times I saw people refer to the little girl having “buyer’s remorse” and how she “wanted it”. People were swearing that this girl seduced ALL of the men and that they’re the victims, she’s just a little slut. I quite literally threw up after reading through about 100 comments.

    It says something disgusting about our society when not only is a gang rape of a CHILD accepted, but that the rapists are seen as the innocent lil’ victims.

    I haven’t read that USC frat vomit yet. I don’t dare read that at work, just from the comments here I know that it’ll trigger me.

    I also find reading quotes about sexual violence cases like this at many sites, CNN, NPR, Huff Post, there are a lot of very disturbed individuals and unfortunately a lot of sick comments often come from women. The vile public comments about Lara Logan from CBS were so disgusting that NPR actually removed them from their site.

  33. Emeryn: Yesterday I made the mistake of reading the comments section of a CNN article regarding that gang rape.I lost count of how many times I saw people refer to the little girl having “buyer’s remorse” and how she “wanted it”. People were swearing that this girl seduced ALL of the men and that they’re the victims, she’s just a little slut. I quite literally threw up after reading through about 100 comments.It says something disgusting about our society when not only is a gang rape of a CHILD accepted, but that the rapists are seen as the innocent lil’ victims.

    At least the highly comments on Yahoo (which are frequently offensive) avoided victim blaming.

  34. @Tei, I genuinely don’t think most people are going to read the article and think, “That woman is an asshole.” Maybe you have more faith in humanity than I do. Maybe what you’re suggesting is what the journalist intended, but again, that only works when you have faith that people aren’t collectively jerks.

    Also, since the article isn’t balanced (as mentioned earlier, they clearly didn’t interview anyone who said the guys were abominable jerks), don’t you think the article is telling you what to believe? I’m not sure how making an article balanced would tell people what to think.

  35. I mean, in one sense, it’s reasonable to be saddened by the effective end of the chance for nearly two dozen young people to have a productive, fruitful life. But it’s not like they’re victims. Their lives are (hopefully) ruined because of something they chose to do. It’s like being sad for Tim McVeigh. I mean, yeah, his life was pretty much ruined. And I’m sure the people who loved him were devastated by it. But… his life wasn’t ruined by somebody else. It was ruined by his choice to ruin (and end) the lives of others. That _sucks_ but it was his choice.

    It’s sad that so many young people in TX have decided to fuck up their lives so badly, but we can’t let that sadness get in the way of recognizing that their lives are fucked up because they decided to gang rape a child. Not because somebody else did something to them – they weren’t killed by attack helicopters while gathering firewood. Not because they got caught doing something trivial that we have ridiculous draconian punishments for, like smoking weed, or being out after curfew stargazing. Not because of something tragic but accidental – they didn’t lose control of their car and accidentally run somebody over. Because they chose to commit a violent, despicable crime. And no matter how sad it may be to their friends and families, they chose to ruin their own lives.

  36. No wonder the NY Times article sounds like it’s victim-blaming. Look at the thoughts of the community. “Those boys have to live with this..” Who cares what they have to live with? What about that poor little girl? By the way, where were her parents in all this? Who was supposed to be protecting her, and why weren’t they?

    Also, how did this story float around a middle school for so long before it got to the authorities? Accounts like this one are going to make me an extremely overprotective mother.

  37. This is one where I wish I had taken the “trigger warning” more seriously. I have an 11 yr old daughter. I am so angry I can’t see straight to write this comment.
    There is a war on women and girls. The republicans speak out against Planned Parenthood, teachers, Girlscouts, The First Lady, “unwed” mothers (like it’s a fiscal issue) on the centennial of International Women’s Day, no less. Therefore, why I am shocked by the blaming of a very young girl for being gang raped? The victim here is female. And as we can plainly see, females are usually the ones to blame for just about everything. I believe attacks on women in the media is directly related to this specific attack on this little girl. It was ‘no big deal’ to the whole community–rumors floating around for so long, precisely because women are considered a nuisance as a policy issue for republicans.
    Ok, I cannot think on this anymore or my heart’s liable to give out on me.

  38. There has been a baffling amount of this kind of (slut-shaming, victim-blaming) bullshit in very prominent media as of late. What the hell is going on?

  39. @Tei tetua
    Sorry, no. This = rape culture personified:

    “Residents in the neighborhood where the abandoned trailer stands — known as the Quarters — said the victim had been visiting various friends there for months. They said she dressed older than her age, wearing makeup and fashions more appropriate to a woman in her 20s. She would hang out with teenage boys at a playground, some said.”

    Yes, he should have reported statements from the community. But in addition to the people commenting, he could also have interviewed the girl’s mother and got her comments about it, or a family friend, or a teacher. If he couldn’t get these people, he could have thought more carefully about what statements such as those above do. Considering all of the reporting out there where rape survivors are said to be “asking for it” because of what they were wearing, his tidbit about her clothes is completely irresponsible journalism and shows a bias towards the perpetrators.

    BTW, there is a petition to get the NYT to apologize for this article: http://www.change.org/#

  40. LoriA:
    I didn’t read the article linked in number 1 because why?

    In my case, because I am absolutely out of my mind insane. Like cutting, or something.

  41. I think it’s crystal clear that those statements by the neighbors just extended the viciousness of the attackers, and there’s no need for the journalist to say any more or to provide “context”.

    You want to provide context not necessarily to sway your reader – but to make it more of a, well, story, as opposed to something highly sensational and one-sided.

    It’s like – on a less damaging scale, think of all of that bad BBC science reporting. Like, “some Italian scientist somewhere has set out to prove that high heels are good for you! And she did! She claims they reduce static electricity in the pelvis!” And that’s it, that’s the story. As a reader I want to have some freaking context for something like that – I mean, just for starters, just what in God’s name is “static electricity in the pelvis” and why is it allegedly bad for you? But the article gives me nothing to go on.

    Same with a story about rape – only of course the stakes there are higher, because there’s an actual human victim involved, so responsible reporting is very important.

  42. Natalia: You want to provide context not necessarily to sway your reader – but to make it more of a, well, story, as opposed to something highly sensational and one-sided

    A good journalist provides context so that the reader can be informed. The very problem is that there are so few good journalists. Why is this so surprising, since, apparently, simplistic, titillating (subset: vomit-inducing) “stories” are what consumers of popular media seem to crave. Which wouldn’t be such a problem (hey, it’s just the free market fulfilling a need, right? if I don’t provide the crap, someone else will) if alternative media sources (factual, objective, informative) weren’t so few and far between.

  43. You may have seen this already, but there has been some follow up on the NYT piece & also the frat boy piece.

    The Times Editor says that the original article ‘lacked balance’ & there will be a follow up piece. He’s doing the thing where it’s like, “We never intended for there to be any harm,” but nonetheless harm was had.

    There is also racial tension in Cleveland, TX, which I didn’t see in the original report. This link goes to Jezebel, which, I know not everyone likes so, proceed with caution. Race complicates controversey over rape of 11 year old girl – Plus triggering.

    And with the frat e-mail – what happened is, someone who claims to personally know the e-mail author came forward with more details. If what she says is true, then the author tried to pin it on another, female student.
    This is all stuff going on online so I can’t verify any of it, but, the author’s name is explicitly stated. Student explains frat emails origins & alleges cover up – again it goes to a Jezebel link & may be triggering.

  44. C.E.:
    Why thank you for the bulimia-trigger.

    Since C.E.’s comment doesn’t seem to have been taken into consideration yet, I would like to request that the title of this article be changed to something less clearly triggering. Thank you.

  45. Isn’t the frat email supposed to be directed against rape and othering of women? It reads like “look how pathetic men who treat women as nothing but sources of sex are, let’s laugh at them”.

    I really can’t tell, since the email was removed from its context. Some jokes do reinforce rape culture and sexism in general, and the “just joking” defense is often insincere anyway – but we also use sarcasm here, saying things like “yeah, sure she was asking for it, she was outside and poor and eveything”.

    Treating women as non-human prompts many men to agree, not say “Let’s humiliate those awful people”, but actually saying “they aren’t people” seems to be laying it on thick enough to imply this is how you shouldn’t think. Then again, I could be wrong about how awful you have to get before nobody will say “Damn straight”. And, more importantly, even if it gets across “If you think women aren’t people or their consent doesn’t matter, you’re a pathetic asshole”, it still reinforces some shitty attitudes about women’s bodies, status hierarchies and slut-shaming. (Also, it’s incredibly immature, but that’s hardly a crime.)

  46. Yikes all round. As for the Marie Claire article, howabout I’ll just be a woman (not a girl, I’m fucking 37 years old) and I’ll have whatever attitudes, attire, and sexual history I want to have and you can just like me or not? The whole idea that you can make yourself into the “type” of woman that men will want is, frankly, repulsive. I think I’ll worry about what I want, what I think, and my own opinions instead of worrying about being liked.

    As for the other two articles – I just ate, can’t read, might actually puke from anger. Feminist Anger Vomit.

  47. Leo:
    Isn’t the frat email supposed to be directed against rape and othering of women? It reads like “look how pathetic men who treat women as nothing but sources of sex are, let’s laugh at them”.

    I really can’t tell, since the email was removed from its context. Some jokes do reinforce rape culture and sexism in general, and the “just joking” defense is often insincere anyway – but we also use sarcasm here, saying things like “yeah, sure she was asking for it, she was outside and poor and eveything”.

    Treating women as non-human prompts many men to agree, not say “Let’s humiliate those awful people”, but actually saying “they aren’t people” seems to be laying it on thick enough to imply this is how you shouldn’t think. Then again, I could be wrong about how awful you have to get before nobody will say “Damn straight”. And, more importantly, even if it gets across “If you think women aren’t people or their consent doesn’t matter, you’re a pathetic asshole”, it still reinforces some shitty attitudes about women’s bodies, status hierarchies and slut-shaming. (Also, it’s incredibly immature, but that’s hardly a crime.)

    I seriously doubt it. I think that it is explicitly pro-rape and *also* written by a rapist.

  48. As in, I think the first two were both written by rapists. I don’t particularly think that the first is any worse than the second, the second is more explicit and probably worse, but when I commented before I could barely deal with the first and couldn’t handle more of it.

  49. And the third one…is horrible. I mean, I don’t really have anything to add to the other comments but my own disturbed-ness and nausea.

  50. Pingback: Marie Claire’s “Rich”: Good girls get to meet your mom. Bad girls are too confident and hard to control….like dirty snow. « CaptainAwkward.com

Comments are currently closed.