This is the worst, most link-baity thing on the internet today, so of course I am biting: Syndney Leathers of Anthony Weiner sexting fame is on xoJane (where else?) teaching you how to sext a politician.
Now, there’s nothing wrong with sexting. There’s nothing wrong with having sex. Even discussing this stuff can quickly segue into slut-shaming territory and I’d like to avoid that, in this post and in the comments. However! Sex is not a magical separate area of life where you get to do whatever you want as long as you’re enjoying it, no matter what the impact on other people. I mean, I am in the camp of “eating is awesome,” but if I steal the cheese I want from the little mom-and-pop cheese store on the corner just because it’s delicious, that’s not ok (or if I partake in the eating of the cheese I know someone else stole). I’m also pretty firmly in the camp of “sex is awesome,” but that doesn’t mean that sex is always awesome for every single person at all times in all circumstances, or that it’s not possible to do unethical sexual things. And cheating is an unethical sexual thing. Partaking in cheating is an unethical sexual thing, even if you aren’t the one who’s married or partnered. Also, if you put the facts of your unethical behavior on the internet people are going to be like, “Hmmm, that’s kind of uncool” or “Wow you are terrible!” There is no “right” to be free of internet criticism. There is no right to do whatever you want, no matter how damaging to other people, and remain free of judgment.
There’s also apparently no right to an editor when contributing to xoJane:
I know a lot of people judge me (shout-out to MSNBC’s Thomas Roberts who went on air and called me “batshit crazy”), but I don’t think it is their right to judge — just as it is not my right to judge them. We all have what we want to do in life and what our own personal standards are.
Why does having a sexting affair with a married man or even doing porn make someone a “bad person”? Give me a break. I’m not a war criminal. I’m a human being who has made certain choices, some of which involve my sexuality.
Yes, I’ve made thousands of dollars from sugar daddies.
No, you are not a war criminal. And you’re probably not a “bad person.” But you are a person who has done some bad things, and the fact that you apparently totally lack any sort of moral compass to lead you to conclude that those things were unkind and unethical even if they felt good is… troubling. And sad. And not worthy of a “break.” Yes, you made choices that involve your sexuality. But involving sexuality isn’t a “get out of judgment free” card. Involving sex doesn’t excuse unethical, selfish and narcissistic behavior. And it’s not slut-shaming or unfair judgment to point out that.