In defense of the sanctimonious women's studies set || First feminist blog on the internet

Like a Pop Novel

Juicy Studio thinks my website is as readable as a popular novel.

Unfortunately this test cannot measure interest and enjoyment levels, but I do take pride in that most of the bloggers I read have a way of making complex information, abstract ideas, and comprehensive analyses accessible to large audiences, and with far more mirth than Time or Newsweek. After all, I’m one of them.

I’m Going To Sleep For the Next Year

I just got an email from the university telling me that I am “required to attend” an “Internet Workshop” for “mandatory internet training” because the school I am placed in for student teaching has “networked internet.”

Good holy goddess. Shoot me.

Feminisms: A Survey

Bitch Ph.D. recently wrote a piece on feminisms, but as a favor to a friend, I’d like to comb your brains for some additional definitions. She is doing a paper on feminism and nomothetic identity traits and wants some personal opinions from a feminist audience.

1. What do you consider a feminist?
2. What is a feminist not?
3. What traits (physical, social, intellectual, behavioral etc.) do you ascribe to feminism? What traits have been ascribed to you as a feminist?
4. What traits are explicitly unfeminist?
5. Are there people out there who cannot be feminists or claim feminism as we know it?

All answers, even the unpopular ones, are appreciated. Comment anonymously if you wish.

NPM: Yellow Rage

You wanna butter me up like you butter your rice and tie me down to your bed of stereotypes.

Via Shannon, this slam poetry duo of two Philly-based, Asian-American women kicks some serious ass. They are sarcastic, righteous, defiant, funny, and rude to boot, touching on fetishes and cultural appropriation among other dialogues involving gender, race, and lack of American understanding of all the various Asian cultures that get lumped under umbrella terms or appropriated to the Chinese or Japanese (apparently the only countries in Asia that America knows of).

Go to their website, Yellow Rage, and download “Woman, Not a Flava” immediately.

My tongue is split and it’s forked and steel-tipped. And if you don’t know, now you know. Asshole.

If this doesn’t incite some feminist, revolutionary poetry loving, you don’t have a pulse.

How to Score With Chicks (And Real Women Too)

I got some flack for some of the things I listed as my dating requirements in The Ideal Man According To Lauren. Some of them, I admit, sound elitist and snobbish, and further, they are. But these are requirements for being a long-term partner that I am committed to and will spend significant amounts of time with, not the friendly guys I talk to every day. I have far looser requirements for friends (integrity, people) but hell if I’m loosening my standards for an intimate partner.

Via Brutal Women comes another guide for dating (within my peer group) that I largely agree with, though I could have done without much of the crassness and the father-fellating comment. Numbers 1 and 5 are dead on.

In short: Try. You don’t have to succeed at everything, just be doing something interesting with yourself. Enthusiastically.

Legal Trouble for NCLB

Connecticut is expected to sue the first legal complaint against No Child Left Behind in their dispute with the federal government over annual school testing. Though other states have filed legal complaints, Connecticut is the first to sue.

Connecticut Education Commissioner Betty Sternberg and other state officials met for one hour with U.S. Education Secretary Margaret Spellings in Washington. Afterward, they said there is only about a 1 percent chance that they will get a waiver for the No Child Left Behind education act’s requirements for testing in grades three, five and seven. State officials had sought periodic assessments of those students instead of testing, because Connecticut already tests students in grades four, six, eight and 10.

…Federal officials agreed there is little chance they will give in on the annual testing requirement of President Bush’s No Child Left Behind law.

…Connecticut’s planned legal challenge is expected to focus on a lack of federal funding for states to implement changes mandated by the law. No Child says states and school districts will not have to spend their own money to meet the law’s requirements.

Dr. Betty J. Sternberg, Connecticut Education Commissioner, was called “un-American” by Margaret Spellings, the secretary of the United States Department of Education, for criticizing the law as a “soft bigotry of low expectations.” Though Dr. Sternberg has asked for a formal apology none has been given.

eRobin has done a good job at dissecting the political implications of this battle, but I’m more concerned with the practical applications. We have all heard the phrase “teaching to the test” and criticisms of this phenomena, but Dr. Sternberg perfectly captures the real problem with all this testing. She writes that replacing Connecticut’s bipartisan, twenty year record of testing in alternate years for a yearly standardized test “will cost millions of dollars and tell us nothing that we do not already know about our students’ achievement.”

So what’s with all the talk about NCLB’s progress?

Northwest [a research company] found that test scores on its exams did, in fact, go up from one year to the next under No Child Left Behind, typically by less than a point. The reason successive classes appear to do a little better than those before them may stem from the fact that younger students have grown up during a time of more regular testing than their immediate predecessors, the researchers said, and are therefore higher achievers.

But rising test scores tend to mask how much progress individual students make as they travel through school, the researchers found. Since No Child Left Behind, that individual growth has slowed, possibly because teachers feel compelled to spend the bulk of their time making sure students who are near proficiency make it over the hurdle.

The practice may leave teachers with less time to focus on students who are either far below or far above the proficiency mark, the researchers said, making it less likely for the whole class to move forward as rapidly as before No Child Left Behind set the agenda.

Public schools and public school teachers are vilified as socialist bevies of decay, but there is evidence now that some of our assumptions about public school and private school are wrong. Kimberly Swygert looks at some surprising research on public and private schooling: public school students outperform private school students every quarter.

As per the BushCo patterns, and shucking any accusations of conspiracy theories, I firmly believe that if the purpose of NCLB isn’t to strip the school systems of funding and legitimacy and force them into privatization altogether, it is to turn the public school system (a socialist system, as Rush would say) into business models.

This particular attempt at running a school like a business was quite successful. They ran it like Enron.

More Education Reading:
This week’s Carnival of Education.
The Super’s Blog, by a superintendent in Indiana. Heavy on satire, including this post titled “Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels admits he would lie, steal, cheat or put a dead horse head in your bed, in order to get what he wants.”
Minnesota, a Nanny State?: Some Minnesotan politicians are legislating mandated curriculum literally from birth, including a statewide testing system that requires preschoolers are tested at least once for state-determined proficiency by the age of three.

NPM: Carolyn Kizer

For those who don’t know, a pantoum is a poem composed in quatrains in which the second and fourth lines are repeated as the first and third lines of the following quatrain. For other confusing forms, see the villanelle and the terzanelle.

This isn’t a perfect example of a pantoum, but it is a lovely poem about the wonderment parents feel about their children when the children who once adored their parents grow up to patronize them.

Parent’s Pantoum

Where did these enormous children come from,
More ladylike than we have ever been?
Some of ours look older than we feel.
How did they appear in their long dresses

More ladylike than we have ever been?
But they moan about their aging more than we do,
In their fragile heels and long black dresses.
They say they admire our youthful spontaneity.

They moan about their aging more than we do,
A somber group–why don’t they brighten up?
Though they say they admire our youthful spontaneity
They beg us to be dignified like them

As they ignore our pleas to brighten up.
Someday perhaps we’ll capture their attention
Then we won’t try to be dignified like them
Nor they to be so gently patronizing.

Someday perhaps we’ll capture their attention.
Don’t they know that we’re supposed to be the stars?
Instead they are so gently patronizing.
It makes us feel like children–second-childish?

Perhaps we’re too accustomed to be stars.
The famous flowers glowing in the garden,
So now we pout like children. Second-childish?
Quaint fragments of forgotten history?

Our daughters stroll together in the garden,
Chatting of news we’ve chosen to ignore,
Pausing to toss us morsels of their history,
Not questions to which only we know answers.

Eyes closed to news we’ve chosen to ignore,
We’d rather excavate old memories,
Disdaining age, ignoring pain, avoiding mirrors.
Why do they never listen to our stories?

Because they hate to excavate old memories
They don’t believe our stories have an end.
They don’t ask questions because they dread the answers.
They don’t see that we’ve become their mirrors,

We offspring of our enormous children.

Read it again and again. This one is amazing.

I need National Poetry Month to end soon. Very soon. I am far too excited about it and I have a million other things to do than locate my favorite poems.

Punchlines For Pragmatists

Why was six afraid of seven?
It wasn’t. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
Repeated absences and stealing.

via Something Awful

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