In defense of the sanctimonious women's studies set || First feminist blog on the internet

Pablo & PayPal

I’ve set up the account for PayPal, and the link is located in the sidebar directly under my contact information. All money donated will cover Pablo’s vet bill. If anyone is interested in helping us out, it would be much appreciated.

Thanks to everyone who offered. Love and kisses.

“Loser” Is Right

I’m too wiped to even touch this one, so I’ll let you guys have at it. Bolds are mine.

Well I may be an unemployed man without a wife or girlfriend still living with my parents despite being over the age of 30, but at least I’m not so stupid as to think that a gorgeous young girl would be the author of a popular libertarian blog. She’d be too busy having fun. The kind of fun found in this post, except it would be happening every night instead of just being a one time event. You guys are so gullible!

Libertarians tend to be ugly because it’s an anti-majority philosophy. People who are attractive have an easy time going through life and derive far too many advantages from the status quo to ever question it. It’s only outsiders, who are usually ugly, who join up with fringe movements.

One thing I learned from this blog is how easy attractive woman have it. When I had a blog as my real self, no one linked to me, no one left any comments, it was as if the blog existed in a vacuum. But things were different for Libertarian Girl. Every day I’d check Technorati and discover new unsolicited links. It was like I had warped into an alternate universe where all the rules had changed. At the rate things were happening, this would have been an A-list blog in a few more months.

It’s funny how there have been some posts in the blogosphere saying that the political blogosphere was a boys club that discriminated against women, as evidenced by how few politics bloggers were women. Boy were they completely off the mark. It’s ten times easier for a woman’s blog to become popular.

This effect no doubt carries over into the real world. Whenever I see an attractive woman with a successful career, I’ll remember the experience of this blog and assume that she didn’t really get there on merit, just her looks.

Let us just take a moment to remember that I, in a very, very small contest, was voted sexiest female blogger – and I didn’t even show cleavage, write about sexual exploits, or something else equally silly. Oh, and that I am a member of several fringe movements. And, despite five years of this, I’m not A-list.

So what’s wrong with me? Oh yeah, the f-word again. Shit!

And this observation was made by a thirty-plus-year-old living in his parents’ basement. A good catch, that one.

via Ilyka Damen

The Pablo Saga, Part II

After the vet visit today, I found that Pablo doesn’t have a parasite and he doesn’t have tapeworm. After the x-ray, we also have confirmation that Pablo didn’t eat any yarn, poisonous plants, or anything else causing a blockage. Thus, no surgery. That’s the good news.

The bad news: Pablo’s body is not passing waste. He has stool (apparently a remarkable amount) stuck in his intestines that is recycling toxins through his system again and again and again. The vet is keeping him overnight, administering medicine via IV since Pablo can’t ingest anything without throwing up, and will give me an update in the morning. Pablo hasn’t had anything to eat or drink that wasn’t immediately regurgitated in about four days.

I thought he was getting better yesterday and fed him a few tablespoons of food. He seemed to have kept it down, until I found another pile of vomit hidden under the coffeetable this morning. And until he threw up the water I gave him.

All of today has been Pablo-centered, going to and from the vet, sitting on hold waiting to talk to techs and pharmacists, and especially me musing over the amazement I feel at how attached Ethan and I are to this cat. Growing up, cats were cats. One got killed on a country road and there was always another in the paper to be picked up for free. That feeling stopped when I got my first Maine Coon from the pound, a fuzzy monkey named Teddy. I absolutely loved that cat and was horrified to know that he ran away when I was pregnant and living away from my parents’ house. I cried for days.

Pablo rounds out our little family so nicely and the thought of telling Ethan that Pablo might be really sick, sick enough that this may not turn out well, is heartbreaking. Some have suggested that, as the vet bill grows, I should just chalk this up as a loss. But pets are not disposable and I don’t want E to have the same attitude I did toward animals as a child, that when one left another came along. E sees Pablo as his buddy, a playmate, family, and truthfully, so do I. I’m this close to setting up a PayPal account as the current tab is well over $180 (I have no set number right now) and I don’t anticipate any outside resources coming in to help out, but asking pseudonymous internet buddies to help with a vet bill seems a bit much.

I just miss my kitty.

What Will Hereby Be Known As “The Jensen Experience,” Not To Be Confused With the Jimi Hendrix Experience

Derrick Jensen is a phenomenal writer. My friend Josh introduced me to him last year and I immediately fell headlong into his work. His authorship is the ultimate in rhetoric, using multiple methods of appealing to different audiences (something like W.E.B. Dubois’ Souls of Black Folk), displaying an incredible attention to detail and subjectivity. I am a huge fan not only of his work’s content but its style. Jensen’s talent lies in his ability to engage, enrage, and incite the compassion of the reader to be moved to produce a particular result. One of his degrees is in creative writing and it shows in his non-fiction, having developed a way to draw you in and push you back, as is needed to get his intended results: pro-feminist environmentalist activists ready to act for revolution. Jensen is quite radical and, at times, endorses violence in order to reduce the negative effects that humanity has on the planet. More on this in a bit.

As previously mentioned, I went with friends to see Derrick Jensen speak at Antioch this weekend. I didn’t “drive 3 1/2 hours to be entertained and then go bar hopping” (and yes, I do find this characterization disparaging, thankyouverymuch). I wanted a pleasant night out of town and to attend an interesting talk by one of my ideological idols with like-minded folks.

I got something a bit different, to my disappointment. In my eyes, Jensen slayed himself.

Jensen’s presentation was standard, one of two major speeches he gives relating directly to his works, that I have listened to at least three times apiece. When one is writing books and travelling it is difficult to come up with new material for audiences; however, the speech he gave us was a patent copy of the things I have seen and heard before, everything down to timing, jokes, dramatic pauses and repetitive phrases. I expected a bit of new stuff, my assumption that when one travels around the country for over a year giving the same two speeches that one might come up with a new bit here and there. But that wasn’t the case. Fine, okay, understandable, forgivable. Unfortunately, being the poor-sighted driver on the trip, I had developed a headache, and sitting in the warm, dark auditorium made me doze for a bit, right in front of Jensen. Oops.

I finally perked up when the Q&A started. Only four or so questions were asked in part because Jensen had gone far over his time slot. Two members or the audience went on their own tangents, one woman responding to another audience member’s question about how to foster liberalism in preschool students (I have a big, big problem with this), and the other a student doing absolutely no justice to Antioch’s infamous Sexual Offense Prevention Policy (proper analysis here). Jensen’s responses felt canned, probably because he likely gets these questions all the time.

Another student then asked him a question that required a bit more. What happens, she asked, if I, for example, blow up a sewage treatment plant? Sure, I save some salmon, but the people who come out fine are those that can afford to outsource water. She continued her question, asking about the effects of such actions on economic class, ones in which the rich are always better off than the poor despite the intended outcome of radical action.

This directly relates to Jensen’s work and how he disparages the rich for making victims of the world’s Others. But Jensen chose not to take her question seriously. He used an example of knocking down a cellular tower and painted a rather silly picture of her inquiry that didn’t do the initial question any justice. She interrupted him as he made fun of her premise, attempting to clarify her question, and he told her to stop. Stop? No, fuck that. He didn’t tell her to stop, he yelled at her as she interrupted his charade, as he made light of a pertinent question and had the gall to silence her. He then told her that “it was obvious that they had very different jobs to do.”

As in, he would write books for revolution and she wouldn’t bomb sewage treatment plants.

As in, he was recruiting an army for something which he has little guts to do on his own, all the while insisting that he would do “whatever it takes” to “save the salmon,” i.e. writing safely at his computer.

He then, very cleanly, moved along to the next question. Rather patriarchal for someone so anti-patriarchy.

One of Jensen’s images is repeated throughout his books and talks – he talks about the salmon of the Northwest, how they used to fill the rivers enough that residents miles away could hear their fins slapping against the water as they swam upstream to mate. This image illustrates an example of the devastation that urban sprawl, waste, and ecological disinterest has done to the environment, an example frequently used in his books and speeches.

I had a question of my own, and intended to speak to Jensen briefly about my question while he signed the books I brought with me. Because it was obvious that there was no lodging in town, because I began to anticipate the looming drive home, and because of my growing headache, I decided to see whether he would sign my books without us having to go to the reception. He did, but not without trying to rush us along. I told him I had a brief question I wanted him to address and he complied, albeit impatiently.

Daniel Quinn is an author of a similar vein, not quite as talented as Jensen and his authorship, but certainly a comparable author in content and intention. Quinn wrote Ishmael, My Ishmael, and Beyond Civilization, the last a book that details in short passages how one might stage their own revolution. Quinn’s suggestions are no less radical, but they are slower and non-violent, a method that I am already trying. Quinn suggests that we find alternative methods of living, eschewing grocery stores for our own home-grown food, leaving corporate stores behind for the local alternatives, finding means for subsistence that don’t involve wage slavery, doing what we can to, as Jensen advocates, “dismantle globally, rebuild locally.” (Read Quinn on your own to do it some justice.)

I was thinking of this poem by Nikki Giovanni:

Revolutionary Dreams

I used to dream militant dreams
of taking over america to show
these white folks
how it should be done

I used to dream radical dreams
of blowing everyone away
with my perceptive powers
of correct analysis

I even used to think I’d be the one
to stop the riot and
negotiate the peace

then I awoke and dug
that if I dreamed natural
dreams of being a natural
woman doing what a woman
does when she’s natural
I would have a revolution.

Giovanni illustrates the kind of revolution that not only Quinn, but early works of Jensen illustrates. A one person revolution is a revolution.

I took serious issue with his repetition of “fuck the rich” “fuck the rich” when one of his books lies completely in the premise that holocausts and hatred lie in the dismissal of individual subjectivity. Hypocritical, no? What kind of revolution is hypocritical at its very core? Apparently the rich are not subjective folks deserving of the same consideration that Jensen gives ferns, porn subjects, and sedimentary rock.

And, for that matter, Quinn’s revolution is one that doesn’t kill people, one that doesn’t kill children. Jensen, during his talk, said he didn’t want to even think about that premise – killing children who have a tertiary role in the destuction of the planet. But if you advocate blowing up public spaces, you have to think about the literal destruction of children, among other dismissable players in the dismantling of the ecosystem.

And that is exactly what I wanted to ask Jensen about, the role of subjective consideration that Jensen advocates when we address the unpopular. The answer of the evening was “fuck the unpopular, long live abstraction.”

I’m sure he’s heard the question before, but he didn’t even give me time to finish. When I brought up Quinn’s method and began to contrast it to his, Jensen silenced me. “But that won’t save the salmon.” He gave me a pointed look, as though this answered my query. But I, personally, was thinking of the little one in bed at his father’s house and what would happen if someone near my home decided to ruin our chances at our conscious survival. And hey, buddy, I’m with you.

And then, after interrupting me, he asked me to continue. What cajones. But I was done.

So, fine. If Jensen wanted to blow me off because he’s heard the timid ones like me question whether or not killing objectified bourgeois humans for the sake of subjectified salmons is an effective way of honoring the planet and all its inhabitants, so be it. But god forbid he acknowledge that I may not ask a new question, but I am a new audience. And, up until this point, an avid supporter. To have seen him silence an honest question by an audience member, and then to have him silence me before my question was even asked, both questions which entail significant consideration for worldwide consequence that doesn’t lie in the safe, safe realm of the abstract was too much for me.

After the talk my two travelmates and I went to dinner, all the while discussing the talk. Anne was pleased with the outcome and L hated all but the first half. When I aired my grievances with them, Anne pointed out that my answers were in his books. Well, of course. I read the books. More than once. But why give speeches and host question-and-answer sessions if one is only to answer honest questions with severely limited abstractions regurgitated from his books? Perhaps I was silly to assume that he may have more to say on these topics, you know, the implication in asking for clarification.

And I’m not even going to touch on the absurdity of sitting in an auditorium of an expensive private college with a bunch of other privileged folks discussing what a great favor we would do the rest of the oblivious world (to be reductive) by blowing it up.

This experience reminded me of the disappointment I felt in finding that bell hooks, despite her critical and authorial talent, has a martyrdom complex (read her memoirs).

Jensen is a talented writer who has had a significant impact on my view of the world, but I did find him to be a pretentious, arrogant poseur who is, as I said before, perfectly content to recruit a revolutionary army while suffering none of the consequences of his advocacy. Awfully convenient, isn’t it? Especially when he melodramatically declares that he will do “whatever it takes,” as he repeatedly stated, to “save the salmon,” whereas the rest of the subjective world becomes collateral damage while Jensen muses over the coolness of finally releasing a hardback book.

I’m ready for revolution, but not the kind advocated by a pusillanimous, if talented, author.

A Crappy Weekend, Literally

My review of the Jensen experience is forthcoming. It was disappointing, to say the very least, and one of those youthful experiences in which you slay your own idols with swords and flame.

My travelmates and I didn’t stay in Yellow Springs as originally planned. The town is the size of my toenail: an adorable town with a charming shopping district, but without a bar open past 11pm and no visible hotel accommodations. After the talk, we stopped for food and got back into the car. I was in an iffy mood when I got home, still fuming over the Jensen talk and wanting back out of the house so my Friday night wouldn’t be a total waste. When I walked in the door, I noticed that Pablo had thrown up.

This isn’t unusual. Pablo usually has his Saturday hairball. No matter the hairball formula foods I feed him, no matter the other hairball accommodations I have made, no matter the nightly brushing sessions, Pablo hacks something up every Saturday like clockwork. I figured he was early this time.

Since I got Pablo I have found that he has several very odd behaviors, the first being this hairball thing, and the second being his fear of dogs. When I got Pablo from the pound, they had no previous information on him. It was obvious he had been a housecat, well taken care of, and socialized properly. Unfortunately he was declawed in the front, had fleas, and apparently caught a parasite in the shelter. I did the expected and treated what I could and ever since have had a very healthy, lovable cat.

Nonetheless, I went back out Friday night after cleaning up P-Lo’s mess. I collapsed in bed when I got home, had a decent night of sleep, and woke up that morning to make myself some tea. And I stepped in cat puke. I grumbled to myself, went back to the bathroom and washed my foot, and headed back into the kitchen. On the way, I passed two more piles of puke. There was another in the kitchen and two more in the den. Pablo seemed as though he was in a good mood, so I filled his dish as usual, not thinking in my morning stupor. He ate a few bites and immediately threw up again. My first thought was that he had finally eaten the wrong plant or a bit of yarn. I called the emergency vet clinic and got us in there ASAP.

Pablo, like most cats, doesn’t much like the cat carrier. He lays in the carrier in the backseat mournfully lowing like a cow as though I’m taking his furry ass back to the pound. To make matters worse, there was a dog in the waiting room, a harmless geriatric spaniel in for glaucoma and a tumor.

The stress of a car ride, the cat carrier, and the unexpected presence of dogs in the waiting room got another kind of strange reaction from Pablo, one that should be written in Sharpie on the list above: when Pablo sees a dog he loses all control of his bowels.

After a long wait we got into the exam room. I took Pablo out of the carrier and the tech, the cat and I were immediately covered in cat shit. But Pablo hadn’t stopped. He continued to shit all over me and the tech. Everywhere. It smelled so bad that I had to step into the hallway to pace around in fresh air. Pablo lowed inside the examination room, insulted that I had left him and embarassed that he had crapped all over himself and the cat carrier.

If there was a good side to this story, kind of, it is finding out that the routine worming Pablo got didn’t do a thing. Not only does he have tapeworm, but the parasite that he had when I got him from the pound never went away. They are doing more blood work and poo work to find causes and solutions to this mess, and in the meantime, as soon as anything hits Pablo’s stomach he vomits. I can’t feed him until tomorrow afternoon.

He continues to behave as though he is in a good mood (at least after recovering from his bath) and is active, cheerful, and healthy-looking, which makes me think about the $90 I spent on P-Lo’s bill today, the potential of having to pay for an X-ray if he did ingest something, and how all my money saving efforts from this month were effectively flushed down the tubes.

Pablo had better be glad I love him so damn much. He has been awfully affectionate since his bath. He lay in my lap all evening and, in lieu of purring, snorted like a pig.

Of course it could be his raging, unfulfilled appetite.

Don’t Send Me No Flowers, I Ain’t Dead Yet

When I picked Ethan up from his dad’s this weekend, he yelled, “Yes! It’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow!”

Valentine’s Day, she ain’t what she used to be.

Ethan and his dad prepared a lovely set of valentines for E’s classmates and I taped peppermint patties to the envelopes. I couldn’t help but think of the Peppermint Patty of “Peanuts” fame, her unknowing lesbian icon status, and just how heteronormative this particular holiday is.

For the holiday I got Ethan a new book for his LeapPad and his own set of headphones since he loves mine so much. My valentine is getting a slew of vagina-shaped chocolates sold on campus for the Vagina Monologues charity and a set of coupons I modeled after the Onion’s suggestions. I got myself a quiet night at home with meatloaf and mashed potatoes.

V-day on twenty dollars or less. Cheapskate ahoy!

I’m not a big fan of these pedestrian holidays, or most holidays, and Valentine’s Day has always been shadowed by my nearby birthday. Luckily I have birthday plans this year, a night of bowling and dinner with E and E’s dad, another dinner out with my parents, and perhaps another dinner this upcoming weekend with friends and the pseudo-boyfriend. It’s about time. After my 21st birthday disappointment wherein I was living with and fighting with the parents badly enough that the two week long silence was only ended with a half-assed rendition of “Happy Birthday To You,” I figured the birthday excitement of my youth was over.

I’d rather think of Valentine’s Day itself as a massacre of another sort: hearts, relationships, and unrequited love slayed as easily as gangsters with guns hanging in a garage on February afternoon. Disappointment, really, and not because I feel left out of the holiday or anything, but that people so invest their relationships and self-worth into this holiday that most are disappointed. And thus, I am disappointed in them for being so ridiculous.

In the meantime, Amanda better illustrates my point and offers a bit of advice on how to avoid that V-Day malaise.

Thrifty Food Plan, Thermostats, and Lunchboxes

For anyone who has been following this series, Elizabeth’s family has finished one month of the government’s Thrifty Food Plan. (Post one, the one that started it all.)

This conversation inspired me to get a few books on how to save money and shop savvy. There are some things on my budget that won’t budge, but others are completely flexible. Other than yesterday’s trip to the grocery store because I absolutely had to have fresh fruit, I have saved buckets on grocery bills for the two of us by modifying how we cook and eat. My primary problem (as of right now) is time. I don’t have that much time to stand around the kitchen and play Mother of the Year, and so far I’m spending most of my Sunday cooking for the week.

All I need to do now is figure out how to avoid the convenience of E’s lunchbox food and begin to make our own incarnations, and get used to the low-set thermostat and the house being cold. Because goddamn, it’s cold.

Exit stage right

Well it looks as though Lauren is back for a while so I’m going to take a long walk into the sunset. Thanks to Lauren for letting me vent my spleen for a bit on her blog, I really enjoyed it and learned a bit too. Millstone and Spooky pass on their farewells.

Did I get through that without any shameless link plugging?

Cheers,

Flute