This has nothing to do with politics, feminism, or anything important. But it made me laugh. Stop reading now if you don’t like gross-out humor.
Last night, my friend Sean from Seattle called, very upset. He just moved into a new apartment, and when he had packed up his old place he ran out of bubble wrap and was using toilet paper to wrap up things like wine glasses and other smallish, breakable items. His mom had come over to help him back, and had placed a few things — lotion, Windex, etc — into his empty bathroom trash can so that he could move them easier. So Sean’s in his new kitchen, unpacking the trash can, and he comes across a small item wrapped up in toilet paper — “like a present,” he said. So he unwraps it, and the tension builds as he peels back the layers of paper, wondering what in the world this thing is — a little surprise his mom left for him, maybe?
Nope. It’s a used tampon applicator. My used tampon applicator, to be precise. From exactly one month ago, when I was in Seattle.
So I received a very distraught message from him, incredibly upset that I would wrap the applicator up in toilet paper — “Why did you have to make it look like a present?!” In my defense, I was being polite. I know some boys are weirded out by stuff like that, and I wouldn’t have wanted him to walk into his bathroom and see the applicator itself just sitting atop his trash. And besides, it was only an applicator. It’s not like it was an actual tampon (although he, being somewhat unfamiliar with such things, didn’t know this and was under the impression that it was an actual tampon; we got that cleared up, and I think it made him feel a little better about the whole situation). I have no idea how it didn’t get tossed out with the rest of the trash. But I had a good laugh, and he was actually a good sport about it after getting over his initial trauma, so I thought I’d share. And hey, it could have been a lot worse — an old room mate of mine used to leave her actual used tampons in the trash can instead of flushing them. That wouldn’t have been pretty.