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Gay Middle Schooler Shot in the Head and Killed

Jill

So sad.

But several students at the south Oxnard campus said King and his alleged assailant had a falling out stemming from King’s sexual orientation.

The teenager sometimes wore feminine clothing and makeup, and proclaimed he was gay, students said.

“He would come to school in high-heeled boots, makeup, jewelry and painted nails — the whole thing,” said Michael Sweeney, 13, an eighth-grader. “That was freaking the guys out.”

I’m just going to quote Meggygurl, who sent this article on: “Another sad day for the world, where a kid kills another kid cause he’s different.”

39 thoughts on Gay Middle Schooler Shot in the Head and Killed

  1. I think I spend too much time on here when I feel excited for being quoted in an entry. Then I remember what it’s about and feel very bad about life.

    I think it was the line “That was freaking guys out.” that got me the most. This boy was dressed differently. He wore traditionally female clothes and it scared the other boys so much… he lost his life. The police haven’t officially said it’s a hate crime yet, but I’m inclined to listen to the peers who saw these boys every day and knew how they really felt about each other.

    And my friends wonder why I wanted until college to come out. Are you freaking kidding me?

  2. Thanks for posting this story.. When I tried to google search it this morning, the majority of media outlets were completely ignoring the fact of a possible hate crime and were portraying it as “just another school shooting”. Although there is hardly “just another school shooting” exists, the blatant hate crime in this shooting is critical to point out.
    And not only is it the peers that is reporting it, but supposedly the foster group home the victim lived at contacted the Ventura County Rainbow Alliance – apparently this boys sexuality was no secret.
    So, so heartbreaking…

  4. “That was freaking guys out.” , infuriates me as well.

    Shooting an human IN THE HEAD does NOT freak them out!?

  5. I’m very sorry to hear that my supposition about this story when I first heard it turned out to be true. And, of course, the shooter’s lawyer will use a “gay panic” defense and probably get him probation with no counseling when he needs at least a couple of years in juvie and some serious psychological help. Because everyone knows that all straight men are so panicked at the idea that gay men exist that they just can’t help themselves when they kill them.

    Ugh.

  8. I feel like I am going to vomit. This is dispicable. That’s what you get for willingly giving up your privilege as a “man” and identifying with “girly” things.

  10. When I was in high school, I did a lot to bait the homophobes. I wore a little silver fairy pinned to my jacket and long, long hair; once when a football player was giving me shit I said, “because I’m a hippy/fag/commie.” I meant it to be taken as political, but I could see from the look of shock on his face that he understood it to mean I was openly gay, and I had no intention of correcting him. This wasn’t the Dark Ages, but it was the 1980s, and not a lot of people were out in high school then.

    I knew every day that I might get my ass kicked. I’d had enough of that in middle school, and frankly I wanted some payback. (I was also well-known as a martial artist. Turned out that not too many guys wanted to take the chance.)

    It never occurred to me that I’d get shot. Literally never crossed my mind.

  11. So, I’m from Ventura County. I grew up on the border of Ventura and Oxnard and I still drive there most weekends to see my family. A close friend of mine is a senior member of the Ventura County Rainbow Alliance, which I have visited a few times to support him after he came out in college. I am also a defense attorney, young and unseasoned, but with a solid education behind me, including time spent interning at the Ventura County District Attorney’s office, prior to law school.

    With all that background, I have some responses to what has been said in the comments. First off, the focus on the “freaking guys out” line really needs to be considered in 1) context and 2) source. I’m not saying it’s normal or right that teens are uncomfortable around other kids who don’t fit their gender norms, but is it really that surprising to think they are?! And do we even know what “freaking them out” meant? These are teenagers. The quote came from a 13 year old. Their view of the world doesn’t always extend to include the queer and feminist movements.

    When I was in high school in Ventura, a young man wore skirts and makeup everyday. Did it bother some students? Of course. Would they say it freaked them out? Yes. These are the same kids that call each other “sluts” as terms of endearment. But these are also the same kids that can and do grow up to be the enlightened feminists of tomorrow. How many individuals found their progressive self in college? At such a young age, it’s not easy for adolescents to understand what they are being told at home and how what they see in their peers coincides with those values. Which brings me to my second point.

    Oxnard and Ventura County as a whole contain large Latino populations, which bring with them the catholic traditions and values of Latino culture. This heritage is not one that is particularly friendly to LGBT youth. It directly conflicts with what children are taught in the church and what their parents tell them. In short, we’re raised to be intolerant. Some of us get past this. Some of us don’t. But this is the environment in which we are raised.

    Which is why I would not be surprised if it turned out that the shooter himself is LGBT. Seeing someone else act on the feelings he in turn suppresses is often enough to encourage an emotional break or episode. It takes a lot of emotion to kill someone. So before every gets all disgusted over the “gay panic” defense, let’s consider the internal struggles and probably horrific upbringing and background of the shooter. This is no way undermines the tragic loss of Lawrence King. And it will never justify what happened.

    But it does need to be considered when we discuss what should happen to the young shooter. As it is, he is most likely going to be tried as an adult. Here, in Ventura County, 1st degree murder in a public place like that will probably give him life in prison. Ventura County has used it before. It has also used the death penalty, for which I am only thankful that it is unconstitutional to sentence juveniles to death, as I have no doubt it would be applied in this case. The chances this young man will get probation are basically zero. What he will probably get is a solitary cell in prison, where he will be sentenced to, but because of his young age, will not be allowed to socialize with the general population. What will happen to him in there will be horrific. And what will emerge, if he is ever released, is an even more abused, traumatized individual who will most likely turn to drugs and crime again, because there will be nothing else for him.

    So yes. I am deeply saddened by the loss of Lawrence King. I am also saddened to know that it’s not shocking that such a crime would occur in VC. And I am even more saddened when I consider that instead of just destroying the life of one individual and his family, this act, and the criminal justice system, will now take 2.

  12. Pingback: When Will The Hate Stop? « Galling Galla

  13. I am disgusted at the world. People hate people for being different. People hate people for not being themselves.

    I would possibly be disciplined or fired, but at least not shot, if I came into work in stereotypical women’s clothing. I kind of feel male-presenting people ought to in honour of this kid’s bravery. You may think I’m joking, but I’m not.

    I am however sitting at my desk painting my nails black in mourning.

  15. Yes, Tricia B, because of course, we’re focusing too much sympathy on the victim and the victim’s family and friends, and not enough on the murderer.

    /snark

  16. First off, the focus on the “freaking guys out” line really needs to be considered in 1) context and 2) source. I’m not saying it’s normal or right that teens are uncomfortable around other kids who don’t fit their gender norms, but is it really that surprising to think they are?! And do we even know what “freaking them out” meant? These are teenagers. The quote came from a 13 year old. Their view of the world doesn’t always extend to include the queer and feminist movements.

    I think a 13 year olds perspective on the world is often times a very unfiltered view of what their parents and peers are telling them. Why are these 13 year olds “freaked out” by a boy in heels and painted nails? Because they were *told* to be. Because of the teacher’s reactions and their parents and their peers. That 13 year old kill another kid because he was taught to hate and fear him. This is a reflection how our society STILL IS. Sadly, he was not old enough to fully understand the consequences of his actions. Of the 50-life he will spend in jail. That he will never be free again. I do grieve for this boy, cause he took action before he fully understood what he was doing and what it meant. In 5 years, he could have been friends with other gay kids, or even on boards like this… but he will never get that chance.

    Two lives where taken with that shot. But I don’t think we should forget that this was not normal 13 year old behavior.

  17. It’s shit like this that makes me identify as a radical queer. Because all the hemming and hawing about piecemeal rights and marriage isn’t going to change the fact that our entire culture is a poisonous sewer of heterosexual privilege and and I get so fucking used to it in my safe little bubble that it’s only when something extreme like this pops up that I smell the shit for what it is.

    Fuck rights and mushy accommodation. Fuck separate but equal civil unions and wimpy discrimination laws. Fuck reaching across to the other side and agreement to disagree. I want to live where this kind of bigotry is unspeakable and reflexively shunned. Fuck you straights with your gender straightjackets and ignorant assumptions that everyone in the room is just like you. Fuck you who say “straight but not narrow” showing your wimpy half-assed support while refusing to take the risks of being seen as queer.

    I just want one day. One day in which the clueful straight people pull their constant and overbearing need to flaunt their sexuality back into the closet. One day in which it is acceptable to pin demonstrative straight couples to the wall with stare of disapproval. One day day in which the gender-normative and the straight-acting are the freaks with issues. One day in which the queers can own the streets and diners and coffeshops and libraries without apology and without noise about playing into stereotypes. One day when it’s acceptable to spit on them, to press queers read this into their hands, to rant on street corners about their many sins.

    And I know that tomorrow, I’ll be the non-violent educator, the negotiator, the one to quietly and softly and politely insist on being treated as an equal.

    But today, I hate straight people. I hate heterosexuality and all that means. I hate the thought of going out on fucking valentine’s day and being surrounded by it. Today, I feel at war and sick of how every other day they kill us softly. Lawrence King is just the most obvious of murders.

  18. MeggyGurl – I think you’re analysis is right on. And it’s why I do consider what causes such a young kid to kill – because he was told to by society – and because as a member of that society, it is my and every other member’s duty to try and counteract those bad instructions and teach greater inclusion.

    And, – RachelPhilPa – it’s why it’s important to consider the tragedy of the WHOLE event: of the loss of Lawrence King, who as a young man had the courage to be who he was in the face of ridicule and torment; of the pain his family is suffering; of the simultaneous intolerance, sadness and apathy of a community that caused this crime; of the family of shooter who will forever know they failed him and permitted and probably encouraged this to happen; and yes, of the tragedy of a young boy who, after being fed all of the negative messages and stereotypes and probably very little love, will now lose his life because we as a society failed him before and will continue to fail him now. It’s not about a focus on the shooter. It’s about focusing on ALL aspects of this crime, seeking to understand more than just one dynamic, and illuminating the dark corners of our own responsibility as a society because until we do, we won’t know how to make it better.

  19. You know what, another time and another place I’d be willing to consider that the assailant was motivated by some inner demons of self-repression and fear. There is a time and a place for that, and I’ll have all the feelings of mercy in the world if or when it gets to that.

    But, I also know that practically in my own back yard, a bunch of kids attempted to use the “gay panic” defense after they tortured a young man to death over the course of hours.

    I know that also in New York City last year, a group of men called a gay man out on a date, lured him to a park, and then severely beat him.

    I know that last year, a guy I did speaker’s panels with was found dead in the woods under suspicious circumstances, and I didn’t know it was him until I turned to page three, and there the paper revealed that he was a transman who used the name Forrest.

    If the mitigating circumstances come to light, then I can put on my criminal justice reform hat.

    But today, Lawrence King was a casualty of a war against queers. And I’m sick and tired of expressing a desire for mercy towards who offer none to me and mine. And I’m sick and tired of those who let this happen year after year. Tomorrow, I’ll be the nicey nicey educator and activist. Today, let me have my anger.

  20. I hear ya, CBrach. How the hell do we create a world where kids are safe to be THEMSELVES without fear?? How do we start??

    My middle school daughter has a best friend whose younger brother (11) told his sister he is gay last fall. When I heard about this, all I could think of was this sweet little boy I’ve known since he was 3…

  21. And I feel angry at myself because most days, I pass. Most days I forget what it’s like to have that target painted on you, to always have that shadow of fear when you get on the bus. I burnt out and have been living in a little bubble of my own creation. I need to get out of the closet and back in people’s faces.

  22. @CBrachyrhynchos: Yeah, but what do you *do*? I go everywhere with pride flags on all my stuff and I think people don’t even know what it means. Hang on, though, I also have a badge that says I LOVE QUEERS: either people are very accepting or they just don’t notice. I hope it’s the former (if they don’t notice, there’s only so far I can go: I’m not going to tapdance around the bus singing “I suck cock and I enjoy it”). Maybe I’ve just been lucky. I shall continue to push my luck, if so.

    Actually, there was one time I got on the bus and a girl sat down opposite and very earnestly said “I don’t actually know any bisexual people. Can you tell me, is it very different being with a man to with a woman?”, which turned into an interesting conversation.

  23. We start with tolerance. Then we reinforce the message. Many kids use the term, “That’s so gay”. I am the only teacher calling the kids out on this. I may not be able to break the parental influence but I will be damned if I keep silent.

  24. Well, Crow… first off, species names are ALWAYS lower case. Next, as a biologist, I completely understand the necessity of homosexuality to a population. Ultimately, and I do mean this in the “population biology” sense of the word, we are not bacteria, and the reduction in the size of the breeding population caused by homosexuality keeps us from breeding ourselves out of existence. Now. Your hatred of heterosexuals is not isolated, I’m sure. That being said, I would venture to say that perhaps this kid was as heterophobic as you are. And, perhaps, this child engaged the younger child in such a manner that the younger child felt violated. I remember Junior High School. It was a long time ago, but I can not remember any incident where lower classmen bullied upperclassmen. In my case, I was in the 7th grade and a 9th grader attempted to rape me in the boys bathroom. He was much taller and larger than I was, but I was lucky that I was physically much stronger, and was able to prevent this kid from violating me. I was one of those nerdy kids who was put into Remedial P.E. In our school that just meant being in the weight room every day. We never did develop any endurance, but we did become very strong. Perhaps the shooter wasn’t so lucky. As it stands, we do not know the circumstances revolving the shooting. We do not know the motives. To automatically assume that the homosexual boy is always a victim and always innocent is assuming quite a bit. We will not know the details until the trial, and should not be trying the case in the press or the internet. After all, there is supposed to be an assumption of innocence going into the trial, and it is the prosecution that has the burden of proof beyond reasonable doubt. I am just being the devil’s advocate here, and suggesting that we all wait for the trial before making up our minds.
    And before everyone gets bent out of joint, I am not saying that all homosexuals are rapists. Likewise, no one can say that all heterosexuals are monsters. After all, most homosexuals had heterosexuals as parents. Are their parents also monsters?
    But then again, I’m a straight male. So for the those on this site, I am a savage, brutal, imbecilic rapist with no conscience or sense of compassion who runs into the corner quivering and whimpering every time I see a homosexual or an intelligent or nonsubmissive woman.

  25. Three things.

    First, my deepest sympathies to the family of this boy. Although I’m not gay myself, many of my closest friends are gay or bisexual and these events touch me deeply.

    Second, please don’t paint all teenagers with the same brush. We aren’t all mindless robots who sprout their parent’s rhetoric. If you assume we all are, then you are just crushing the minds of the teenagers that have their own minds and opinions. It’s hard enough getting people to listening to our opinions without being brushed off.

    Third, “that’s so gay” or “you’re so gay” is completely prevailent at my school. I hate it. At first I would just go “Don’t say that.” and walk away, but now I don’t know what to do. They just don’t get it.

  26. Agreed, Mold, it has to start when kids are young. Years ago my daughter and I spoke about how other families were very different than our “Daddy/Mommy/Kids” family- I saw it as an opportunity to let her know some families had 2 moms or 2 dads. At first she made the “EWWW!” noise and I asked her why that was her reaction.

    She stopped and thought about it. Couldn’t come up with a reason and didn’t know where to go with her thinking. So I told her about some of my gay coworkers and neighbors I had known over the years- she at one point interrupted me and said, “They sound normal, like you and Daddy!” And I answered, “EXACTLY. People are all alike and they are all different, too. People are people, and should all be treated with the same respect.”

    Years later, she didn’t flinch when her confused best friend told her about her younger brother, as I think the girl thought Mary would. Maybe it helped Jessie see that her brother was still her brother; she had just discovered something new about him. I hope so. Of what I’ve heard, Jessie has gone on to worry about the usual 13 year old girl things and isn’t obsessing about her brother’s sexuality. How on earth he ever tells his parents… he will have to figure that out on is own. Both kids are scared of what their dad’s reaction will be. I hope he will see that his son is still his son, but knowing Mr Macho, I dunno…

  27. RSkye,

    The kids need to be reinforced that such speech is less than acceptable. You ask them to provide school acceptable terminology. In only one class (pre-prison) was there a lack of ability to produce an altenative choice of words.

    Of course, I am the authority and have far more punishments than a student. But, the kids know very early that I do not tolerate racism, sexism, or “be hatin” in my class. Respect is the word and they are encouraged to tell me if I fall short of my standards. Discussion is moderated, lively, and without too many restrictions (within school policy).

    They should know what is the adult procedure for facing life. Model yourself and keep to the same standard.

  28. it was before i came out to my son, but after my divorce, that he said to me in passing “that’s so gay”. he might have been 12 or 13 at time. i firmly let him know that he was never to use that expression, especially around me. and i explained why it was not appropriate.

    i later learned that he asked his mom if i was gay or bisexual. that suggests that not only is it woven into our culture that anything glbt is derogatory, but to even be supportive of anything lgbt is considered almost, if not just as bad.

    i’m with CBrachyrhynchos on feeling quite a bit of anger toward the pervasiveness of lgbt bashing that occurs with frightening regularity and normalcy in our culture. i’m perhaps less forgiving however. i don’t know that i’d ever “consider that the assailant was motivated by some inner demons of self-repression and fear” and have that temper my anger. the second comment in the above linked l.a. times article helps to explain why:

    “…King’s parents share some of this blame for letting their child go to school dressed in drag. If he’s mature enough to have an understanding of his sexuality, fine. However, his parents should have looked out for their child’s well being and not allowed him to dress that like in an environment where the majority of kids don’t understand sexuality, let alone their own sexuality.”

    this suggests that victims and their families are to blame for the hate crimes perpetrated against them, and that we should hide ourselves in conformity. instead of criminals and their families held as responsible for their hate crimes, intolerance, and murders, along with perpetuating and normalizing their behavior.

  29. Man, this is bullshit. I know that homophobia is rampant in middle and high schools. Sadly, it was only a matter of time when an asshole will act on their homophobia…

  30. Hi Davy,

    Two things.

    First, rape is first and foremost about domination, not sex. The guy who assaulted you may have been a straight bully who targeted you because you were two grades below him. I think it’s highly unlikely that he was a gay “heterophobe” who targeted you for being straight.

    Second, I really don’t think anyone here hates straight white males. Personally, I hate the patriarchy that sets straight white males above everyone else in terms of privilege.

  31. Okay, look, I know I’m supposed to be the nice one, here, I’m supposed to be the cuddly preacher who goes for the big group hug and the Where’s Our Collective Responsibility message.
    I know that’s sort of where I fall, here.

    Right now that’s worn down awfully thin, and I’m feeling injudicious.
    FUCK YOU, DAVY JONES. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. I’m sorry, is that too angry? Am I being “heterophobic”? Because a fucking child just got fucking murdered. And you first reaction is to walk into a place for mourning that, and say what? That that child probably hated straight people, was “heterophobic.” That that child probably tried to rape his murderer. That the murderer was probably a victim and probably threatened and probably in the right, here?
    Is that what you’re saying?
    Golly, though, you concede that not all homosexuals are rapists. That’s sweet. You’ll stop short at suggesting that this murder victim must have been, and must have brought his brutal death on himself, and that the murderer needs the benefit of the doubt before the murdered does.
    I suppose anyone who disagrees with you can’t see the truth because of all their hatred for straight people.

    You know, there are a lot of straight men in my life, good men including two brothers and a father I love very much, and your assumption that because this is a feminist site it must be a den of man-hating and straight-hating is pretty flat-out offensive. I’m sure the many straight people and men who frequent Feministe will agree with me. But it absolutely pales at the gall you have, blaming a murder victim shot in the back of the head for their own murder, and asking everyone to assume without any evidence that it’s really the killer who needs our sympathy and mourning right now. Yes, I worry about that child with the gun, and what will happen to him in our mess of a justice system. I think, like all people who do awful things, he deserves compassion, humanity, and a chance at redemption. And I don’t assume the victim was a perfect person just for having died.

    But a kid is dead. Murdered. And your insinuation without any evidence that he brought it on himself by maybe so much as flirting with some other kid, or was probably a rapist, is vile beyond understanding.

    Your automatic assumption of the validity of the “gay panic” defense makes my skin crawl. It makes me think of the man who just a week ago stabbed Sanesha Stewart to death and is claiming he was shocked by the fact of her trans-ness and that his only reasonable reaction to that shock was to murder her–when he knew her for months, and is probably cynically using that story to get away with premeditated murder. And it’s attitudes like yours that make his horrific behavior possible. It’s dehumanization like yours that puts targets on the heads of me and my loved ones. It’s your condescending, bigoted sneering that’s part of a system that means I have to fucking cringe every time my partner tries to kiss me or hold my hand in public because of all the beatings and abuse I brought on myself growing up because I was foolish enough to be queer.

    The fact that you already assume that we must think you’re a monster just for being a straight man–when it’s your automatic reaction to think this murdered kid was a monster, just for being queer–would be laughable if I weren’t already so angry I’m shaking. And you just reinforce the disposability of queer people everywhere enough to help, just a little bit, to pull that trigger.

    Tomorrow, that killer gets my tears. Tomorrow, you might, too. Today? May you never cross the same river twice. Fuck off.

  32. But then again, I’m a straight male. So for the those on this site, I am a savage, brutal, imbecilic rapist with no conscience or sense of compassion who runs into the corner quivering and whimpering every time I see a homosexual or an intelligent or nonsubmissive woman.

    Davy Jones, I’m a straight male. You’re a conscienceless, tactless moron with all the human compassion and gentle sensibility of a dyspeptic vulture. The fact that you’d look at the cold-blooded execution of a child and see the possibility of a victim avenging himself against a rapist speaks volumes.

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  34. Davy Jones is returning the invective that is far too prevalent on this site. Reminds me of Ivy League “feminists” blaming the poor whites from Southie for patriarchy. A little less smugness and more questioning might improve the discourse.

  36. Smugness, fuck that, I’m not smug. I’m fucking pissed off. Because you know what? When I was sexually assaulted it wasn’t by another young feminine queer kid. We were so repressed that we only hinted to each other that we might be straight. It wasn’t the non-existent older men driving around in white vans. It was a varsity track athlete hopped up on privilege who would go on to the air force academy. And it’s not without surprise that I find in my own kneck of the woods varsity athletes accused again of sexual assault.

    Lawrence comes on the heels of 27 known murders of queerfolk in 2007. I’m sure that means 27+ defendants with their own sordid tales of woe that I should be feeling sympathy for. On the other hand, those 27 are the tip of the iceberg. While I think it’s fucking amazing that Lawerence was able to come out of the closet at 15, something I thought was unthinkable 20 years ago, the fact that we are still targets and not safe in our own school pisses me off.

    I’ll sympathize, empathize, and politicize with those who will harm queers, when and if I hear genuine remorse and regret. When I hear responsibility. When McInerney stands up, confesses, and offers restitution then I feel it is worthwhile to talk about the long hard road that led him to this place.

    But, compassion isn’t masochism, and I’m not obliged to bend over backwards expressing sympathy for someone who put four bullets into the head of a kid.

  38. This kinda fucking this really just pisses me off.

    How could a person do that?! How would you live with yourself knowing you killed someone just because he was different.

    I Strongly support gay people, i am not myself, but I still do belive in gay marriage and choosing your own sexuality.

    It Just is so awful even hearing about this kind of tragedy.
    This incident happened near me so I am greatly affected by it.

    God made us different for a reason.

  39. <how could anybody do something like this? how could someone be killed becaause they are not exactly what society wants them to be!!!!!! UGH this is very disturbin to me!!!!!!!!!! that little boy had his whole life blooooowed away from him…..it is so hard to imagin how hard this situation is to his families:(:(:(

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