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Why I love my TiFaux

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I get to skip past ads like this one. (via) Oh, sure, one occasionally slips past me and grates my nerves like a microplaner (“He went to Jared!” or one of those tense and misanthropic Sonic ads. I don’t even know what Sonic is). But for the most part, I can avoid the Valentine’s “How much is that pussy in the window?” advertising blitz. And the candy will be half-price tomorrow.

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Unfortunately, I realized that I may have to deal with the Valentine’s juggernaut somehow, because I’m selling my apartment and I need some flowers to put out because it’s being shown tomorrow. Goddammit, I don’t want to pay $75 for a bunch of tulips, and I *really* don’t want to have to be in the same room as some tacky red teddy bears.

28 thoughts on Why I love my TiFaux

  2. Me and my girlfriend are refusing to celebrate Valentine’s Day this year. We both think it’s a bunch of bullshit. I tell her I love her every day, I don’t need to buy crappy chocolate and tell her extra today. *rolls eyes*

    Try getting the flowers tomorrow morning. They will be half off too!

  3. Go to a craft store and buy some pretty fake flowers. They’re generally cheap, and you can always leave them in the place when you sell it.

    “What a lovely welcoming gift!”

  4. Husband and I don’t celebrate it. NO cards, no flowers, no presents, no special dinners, etc. Christmas was just a few weeks ago, our anniversary back in october. We don’t need a Hallmark Holiday to remind us to tell each other we love one another. A simple “happy V day” and a kiss is all we do – and that has been taken care of since this morning.

    I’ve always loathed valentine’s. I’ve always broken up with someone right before it, been single or met someone on it that turned out to be a complete waste of time.

    Tomorrow it will all be over, and like the others have said – flowers will be cheaper then.

  6. I love this “Tifaux” coinage. Makes me happy. Of course, my Tifaux is Teh Crap compared to the real TiVo I used to have and dream longingly of.

  7. You could also try getting potted flowers. Grocery stores tend to have them this time of year. They’re cheaper, the pots are decorated, and the flowers last a fair bit longer when they’re still in the ground than after they’ve been cut.

  8. That jcpenny add is probably one of the most vile commercials I’ve ever seen on tv. It makes me furious. It’s terrible not only for the context but because a group of high paid advertisers came up with it and thought it was a good enough idea to make. And then some idiot group of americans approved it when they did thier ad testing. Everything about it is AWFUL!

  9. well, of course once you get the valentine’s diamond then there is the st.patrick’s day emerald and the easter platinum crucifix with ruby wounds plus a full-size chocolate humvee for the kids.
    why are you just sitting there?! get shopping!!

  10. I buy my guy his favorite candy bar spontaneously. Scheduled affection is just plain stupid.
    I did make a silly card last year that I photoshopped with our big heads in our little airplane which he displays and it gets laughs.

    This year I made my first ever PowerPoint slideshow with mostly candid snapshots of the two of us over the past 5 years…a little hokey, but I felt compelled. Not really for V-Day, but because he’s been stressed over BS and that’s what partners do isn’t it? Try to just make life pleasant.

  11. My sister, who used to work at a fashion trade publication before her conscience started eating her up and thus knows her way around some jewelry, laughs every time one of those “He went to Jared!” ads comes on because she says Jared is like the Wal-Mart of jewelry. According to her, it’s like asking someone where her boyfriend took her for their anniversary dinner and then going ga-ga over “He went to Arby’s!”

  12. My ex-girlfriend and I always celebrated Valentine’s Day, but that was because February 14 also happens to be her birthday.

  13. Are the jc penny ones the ones where the guy is like… hypnotizing the girl with the shiny necklace? Cause that one pisses me off.

  14. My husband and I have never celebrated Valentine’s Day. Our first date was the day after Valentine’s Day, we got engaged the day after Valentine’s and married 6 months later. We always think of Feb 15 as our own special holiday that actually has some meaning not assigned by florists, candy makers, and the greeting card vultures.

  15. P.S. I’d like to find the asshole(s) responsible for the “he went to Jared” ads and beat them to death with the dismembered limbs of the asshol(s) who came up with that shit from JC Penney. /END RANT

  16. My sister, who used to work at a fashion trade publication before her conscience started eating her up and thus knows her way around some jewelry, laughs every time one of those “He went to Jared!” ads comes on because she says Jared is like the Wal-Mart of jewelry

    That’s what I assumed Jared was as soon as I saw the first ad for it. Anything that calls itself “The Galleria of. . .” is failing even at being pretentious.
    The only thing those ads have done for me is given me an aversion to a perfectly decent first name, to the point that if I ever meet anyone named Jared I will assume he is a jerk.
    I am also heartily sick of the Russell Stover ads. People, Russell Stover chocolates in the red heart-shaped box suck. They really do. I am not sure you could tell the difference if they saved them over from one Valentine’s to the next.

  17. I heard today was “Call in Single to Work Day”… designed to avoid coming into the work environment infused with red and pink fluffy stuffed animals and helium balloons 😉

  19. Fancy chocolate is well worth the cost … on a typical day. There is a spectacular difference between a really good piece of chocolate and a crappy (or even mediocre-but-overpriced) one. And you can get fancy chocolate cheap, too – rather than buying the packaged chocolates, get chocolate chips or baking chocolate. I swear, the difference is amazing.

    Diamonds, on the other hand? I can do without. I’ve got some sparkly $5 earrings from Claire’s that do about the same.

  20. Godiva is yummy… but not the best chocolate ever. I will take some Dove Dark Chocolate over it any day. Or those chocolate oranges! I LOVE those things!

    I have honestly never even BEEN in a Tiffany’s. My girlfriend has been forbidden to spend more then $1000 on my engagement ring (same for me) and I do NOT want diamonds dripping in blood, thanks.

  21. Always thought VD was a “holiday” begging to be lampooned and ridiculed for the crass consumerist commercialism it has become.

  22. Pingback: Feministe » Happy Valentine’s Day!

  23. @ Kat: Hmmm, should’ve done that. Because DH and I aren’t celebrating it either (like someone else said, we do that spontaneously, thankyouverymuch), and I went to work perfectly normal this morning and came home with puffy, watery eyes, a sinus headache, a runny nose, and a sore throat from all the pollen in the air. I’m seriously campaigning for a flower ban next year. Allergies suck.

  24. At my house, whenever we see the “he went to Jared!” ads, my uncle and I look at each other and go “he went to Walmart!”

  25. 1. I like a day to celebrate my love for my wife, i mean it’s the same as christmas for me.
    I love my family all year round, but then there’s a day to take a bit of extra time to tell them and not take it for granted. so valentines is the same for me, but about ONE special family member.

    2. Oh god I hate the “Jared” commercials, but over here we get a big laugh as we really like the movie labyrinth, and whenever they say “He went to Jared” we chime in with “And now hes the prince of the land of eternal stench!”

    The hypnotism commercials are worse. I mean how blatant can you get? it’s completely sickening. it’s LITERALLY saying “I bought you diamonds, so you have to do what I say” Disgusting.

  26. Sonic is effing delicious (tater tots and orange or lemon cream slush), but they are famous for running their stupid ads in places where there aren’t Sonic’s for 100s of miles. I hate them for this. Also, I can’t think of a more global warming unfriendly restaurant- a drive in model based in states where it is impossible to sit in your car without AC because it is 900 degrees. Curse you Sonic! Give me my orange cream slush and Sonic tots!

  27. “He went to Jared!”<

    All I can think of when I hear that ad was that Jared works for Subway lunchmeat sandwiches.

    I don’t even know what Sonic is

    Not the hedgehog?

  28. Sonic is effing delicious (tater tots and orange or lemon cream slush), but they are famous for running their stupid ads in places where there aren’t Sonic’s for 100s of miles. I hate them for this. Also, I can’t think of a more global warming unfriendly restaurant-

    Yeah, you’re telling me. Whenever I see those damned ads I’m tempted to drive 3 hours for a cherry limeade. I’m generally not for fast food expansion, but c’mon sonic. you gotta break into this chicago market.

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