In defense of the sanctimonious women's studies set || First feminist blog on the internet

I am the strongest man alive.

Jill

1917798726_3cfd615f5f.jpg
Comic by Natalie Dee.

Today, I built a headboard. A big one. With shelves. That may sound like a minimal accomplishment, but it was quite possibly the most difficult thing I’ve done all year — and I’m not totally helpless when it comes to building things. I can wield a hammer like a pro. I have decorated and painted my entire apartment. I have lugged huge pieces of furniture up my fifth-floor walk-up. I have successfully put together desks, couches, chairs, tables, chests of drawers, and pretty much any piece of furniture imaginable — and I’ve done most of it halfway into a bottle of red wine. I even have my very own pink tool kit.

But this headboard was a real trial. It was the most cumbersome, difficult asshole of a headboard possibly in the history of the world. However, three hours, lots of cursing, a bruised foot (headboards are heavy), calloused hands and some serious elbow-grease later, the headboard is built. And in case you were wondering, I am amazing.

What did you do today?

26 thoughts on I am the strongest man alive.

  1. i laid around like a slug, thinking about all the things i was supposed to be doing. same as last sunday. 😉

    (but making a headboard is on my to-do list. i want one that is upholstered in blue-on-white toile.)

  2. I watched stand-up comedy all day on Comedy Central. That was kind grueling. So I also took a nap. Now I’m watching Dane Cook. But, yeah, your day was good too.

  3. I did some laundry, did some cooking, and winced a lot because my hamstrings hurt like hell after bending over that damn tub for hours yesterday.

  5. Today was my day off so I slept in, read a bit, watched far too much of “The Office” and was supposed to interview people around campus about the anniversary of R. v. Morgantaler, but put that off to tomorrow morning due to a stomach rebellion.

    Congrats on the headboard! I always feel really proud and satisfied whenever I make something!

  6. Did some academic readings, browsed the web and cable news networks for election coverage, and prepped and gave away an old computer to someone off craigslist who wanted to use it for basic office applications and internet access.

  8. I did nothing, but I have an excuse – I had surgery just over a week ago. I’m impressed with your headboard, though. I wish I was better at that kind of stuff. I’ve got a powder room I want to do over, and while I know it’s not all *that* complicated to install a new sink and toilet and such, it’s completely intimidating to me. It would cost me next to nothing if I could do it myself. Hiring it done is going to cost a small fortune 🙁

  9. We are also working on building a bedframe and headboard. We picked them up at Ikea last weekend, but they needed to be finished, so we spent this afternoon shellacking the pieces and will go back for another pass tomorrow. We shellacked and put together the night-stands earlier last week.

  10. Baked the most amazing scones (whole wheat with craisins and dried apples) and met with a realtor to discuss selling our house (eek!)

  11. Drove from LA to San Diego in 2hrs, did a bunch of probability exercises for my stats class while keeping my husband company at work (poor bugger had to work all weekend!), now I’m vegging on the sofa and figuring out what I need to prepare for my second week of graduate school. The workload of a full time job while working on a masters is juuuuust starting to hit me.

  13. Well, I’m impressed. Mr. B. promised to build me a headboard for Xmas about five years ago, we moved the raw materials twice, and finally threw it away (!!) last time we moved because it was clear that he was never, ever going to finish it.

  14. Took apart my daughter’s crib since she’s in a big girl bed, then had to change around her furniture. Where did my little girl go?

  15. Well, besides finally taking down the Christmas tree (even the kids were embarrassed by that) we borrowed the neighbors Really Big Ladder and painted the very top of our chimney–the chimney is covered with siding and trim and the HOA had cited us for rusty trim. I am amazed they noticed that infraction way up there when we have all sorts of little maintenance issues at eye-level, but there you go. So I played the role of ladder-holder and anxiety-maker and my hubby did the climbing (I am not into heights and I can’t even watch as someone else deals with heights.)

    Since we had the ladder, we also brought it in the house and hung a quilt we have way up high.

  17. I ate a lot of not-really-good-for-you foods, flerged around the house, then went out for drinks with a good friend I don’t see very often.

  18. Went to see Barack Obama speak at Bartow Arena here in Birmingham with 11,000 or so of my neighbors. Needless to say, I came out of it re-energized, possibly even more so by the crowd than I was by the actual speech itself. Going into the downtown campaign headquarters to make some phone calls tonight to get out the vote for our primary a week from tomorrow.

  19. Get up, feed kids, meds for everyone, coffee, more coffee, remove old light fixtures, assess need for ceiling repair, set up staging, tape crown molding, wait for spouse to cut in edges, roll ceiling white, clean up, make lunch for everyone.

    Pack up family for trip to aquarium while ceiling dries. Get looks, as stroller looks like dogsled packed with small children and winter clothes. Discuss with spouse possibility of using toddler-tethers to pull stroller like dogsled. Discuss ensuing Family Services home visit. Laugh until tears appear in eyes. Change oldest child’s shirt, soaked from the stingray pool (stingers removed). Change oldest child’s pants following massive urine accident.

    Return home, wrangle kids while spouse makes lasagna. Clean up spilled ceiling white, reached by toddler whose climbing capacities have outpaced parental expectations (no injuries– she didn’t even get paint on her). Put little ones to bed. Cajole oldest to eat lasagna. Very quietly assemble and install new fixture. Break down staging and return pieces to garage. Quick trip to grocery store for milk. Impulse buy mint chocolate chip ice cream, which will not tempt spouse, who detests mint chocolate chip (we’re on weightwatchers, spouse blew points out on Saturday, I stayed home and had plenty left). Tuck in oldest. Pick up toys, clean kitchen. Print work-related paper for train reading in the morning. Watch movie, have sex, read, fall asleep, wake up to comfort toddler, wake up to comfort daughter, wake up to comfort daughter, sleep. Wake, change and dress little ones, dress big one, shave, shower, dress, kisses, scrape frost from car, commute.

    Rinse, repeat.

    Mi vida.

  20. Bphd, I have bookcases that I call the six year bookcases because I cut the plywood six years before I completed them. They moved with me twice. There were originally three, though the third became other things (including the seven-hour bookcase, which door and all I assembled in seven hours, though I’m still painting them).

  21. I celebrated the twin nephews birthday came home and watched movies. Thought of vacuuming but immediately talked myself out of it.

    Compared to you and zuzu, I’m definitely a homeowner slacker of the first rate. lol

  22. Got up what I consider FAR too early for a Sunday morning, had French toast (courtesy of my Darling Husband), and went to a two hour dance rehearsal which I ran/taught/chaired. Came home. Lunch and 2 episodes of Buffy and a little Mythbusters, then had to get ready to go teach — 3 dance classes approximately 40 minutes from my house. Each class approximately 1 1/4 hours long. 40 minute drive home, feed the felines, warmed *something* up for dinner — mmmmmm, green tea with ginger to go with it ’cause the house was chilly by then — and fall into bed.

    I danced for about 5 hours yesterday. I’m so very glad the gal I’m subbing for on Sundays is coming back on the 10th!

    Today I slept in — first time in over a week that I’ve actually gotten up when I felt ready to and not when I’ve HAD to. Now I have a massive plan of declutter in mind, including (drum roll, please) — taking down the Christmas tree! 😀 Also making some vegetable stock and some lentil soup. Yum. Too bad the husband won’t share the soup. 🙁 Then again, that leaves more for me. 🙂 It makes a great lunch warmed up.

    Congrats on the headboard, Jill! I LOVE bookcase headboards, even though they tempt me to read far, far too late into the night.

  23. Okay, this is kind of embarassing, but I spent the entire last weekend of my twenties… crocheting.

    I went to a yarn tasting at my local yarn shop. (No, we didn’t actually eat the yarn.) I grafted the ends of my niece’s scarf together and started working on the hat, but I don’t think I like the lace pattern. I need to e-mail Vogue Knitting and ask them why their copy editors suck so much for the Stitchionaries, because the pattern I really wanted to use doesn’t work with their instructions.

    But, then, I’m an old fart of almost 40, so I can do these things. 😉

  24. I made it through another day of not smoking and honest to god I have no idea how I did it. I was a smoker for 15 years and this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. Unlike so many who struggle the most in the first few weeks the worst of it for me has been after that point. Lately it’s crying jags, uncontrollable rages (mainly aimed at inanimate objects I hurl against a wall), and the constant overwhelming feeling I’m just coming apart at the seams. It would be so damn easy to go back to smoking and stop the madness in my head but I’m hanging on partly out of sheer stubbornness and the dread of starting all over from scratch. The trick seems to be to find a way to cope with everyday stress without resorting to that cigarette and I’ve yet to figure out a good substitute. This past weekend I cheated a little but I’m still officially a nonsmoker as of this moment and I’m learning that is a feat in of itself. So yay me, yay Jill for the impressive carpentry skills, and yay to anyone who pulled off something they didn’t think they could.

  25. I hate insanely healthy for two (going on three) days. I am trying to get into better health (right now I am at a great risk for diabetes) and have joined Weight Watchers. 6 pounds in three weeks! So, when I was disappointed in my small 0.2 pd drop in a week, instead of eating an entire pizza like i wanted to, I had an amazing salad, with very little dressing!

    Also, I am going on 3 weeks with only one soda! And I use to be a chain drinker. Like, 3 Dr Peppers a day! I’ve only had one Cheerwine in the last three weeks, and everything else has been water! GO ME.

    I am officially finished applying to graduate school (better job here I come, in 3 years!)

    Congrats on the headboard! I wish I had the mad skillz like that, but sadly if the parts aren’t ready to assemble, I’m lost.

Comments are currently closed.