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How did we end up with this much plastic?

We really don’t buy a lot of toys for our daughter. We’re quite restrained, especially in comparison to our cohort of older parents with enough disposable income to buy stuff from those fancy catalogs with wooden toys. You know, the wooden toys kids won’t actually play with.

Our restraint has nothing on my mother’s talent for excess, though. My mother waited a long time for a grandchild and she is determined to make up for the lost years. Plus there are two older cousins who send us what they’re done with. Today we sorted through everything in my daughter’s room (we didn’t get to the closet) and we tossed an alarming amount of stuff into the garbage, which really bothers me, but there wasn’t any choice. Our dish drainer is full of plastic dishes and pots and pans and plastic food, all of which will go with the play kitchen to its next home – the volume is staggering. There’s a huge box of stuff for donation, and my daughter is happily going to sleep in a much tidier and pleasantly re-arranged room.

“It’s my princess room!” she said. “Really? What makes it a princess room?” asked her generally anti-princess mommy. “It’s all neat and clean. Princesses keep their rooms neat and clean. That’s how you know they’re princesses”. We’ve already recognized that our daughter is a naturally neat person who landed in the home of two not-so-naturally neat parents; when she was four, she said “Mommy, why don’t you make your bed every day like I do? It’s so much better”.

Things I didn’t know when I became a parent: that I would end up owning barrels full of primary-colored plastic without ever buying any of it, and that it’s possible for a child to be neater than the adults.

Tomorrow we tackle the toy room, this time without her assistance. Some tasks are too nasty for children.


21 thoughts on How did we end up with this much plastic?

  1. it’s possible for a child to be neater than the adults.

    Jaw hits desk. I did not know that was possible, either.

  2. I find that completely comforting, as it suggests that neatness is set at a very young age, and the fact that I am messy beyond belief does not, in fact, suggest that I am a lousy human being.

  3. That’s fascinating that she identified as neat at such a young age. I always thought it was learned behavior. And I think it’s wonderful that she thinks tidy rooms are “princess-like”. That’s a much better correlation then anything I had.

  4. Do you have a freecycle group in your area? They really are a godsend when it comes to getting rid of children’s toys–especially since you don’t want all that plastic cluttering up a landfill.

  5. We’ve been purging our house this week, too. I sent a big box of toys, clothes, and shoes to the Foundation for the Disabled (they come by and pick donations up, which is incredibly awesome.) I also threw a whole bunch of stuff in the trash/recycling – things I wouldn’t want to inflict on other people’s children, like a McDonald’s playset (honestly, my in-laws…), books of bad poetry, and a children’s book written by James Dobson (sadly, that one came from *my* family.)

    This year, I’m trying to buy more non-toy items for my girls. They’re moving out of their toddler beds and into twin beds, so I let them pick out quilts and sheets for a Christmas gift. They’re also getting bento boxes for school lunches, which they’re pretty excited about (I’ve been “bento-ing” for a while now, so to them, it’s getting big-girl lunches “like Mommy.”) We’ve whittled their toy gifts down to two each, plus one board game each. Now if only I could get my in-laws to do the same…

  6. My youngest is pretty much past the toy stage, yay. Now it’s all computer games and art, art, art. At least notebook paper is recycleble (jeez, I can’t spell that word to save my life.)

    Her big present for christmas is going to be a computer drawing pad. Other than that all she wants is clay and oil pastels. So all the paper and the pastels can join the other art projects in her room.

    And her pill bug habitat.

    Don’t ask, really.

  7. Blocks, legos and other toy set are often a godsend to local playgroups, kindergartens and primary schools. Contact the local one and ask if they would like some of that plastic pile. I know my son’s school always welcomes donations, what they don’t use they sell at a yearly yard sale.

  8. I didn’t have many toys when I was young, not because my father couldn’t afford to buy lots of toys and I never really noticed this until I had my own kids and the subject came up.

    I felt guilty because I couldn’t afford to buy my kids many toys. Then my father mentioned that he intentionally held back on buying lots of toys, he figured less toys would encourage greater imaginative play. It did. I had a few doll figures, some building blocks and a chemistry and biology set. I can’t say I ever noticed any deficiency when I was younger. I had an old Dodge truck and one doll that I played with continuously, making houses for them out of blocks. My brother and I used what we had on hand to construct elaborate play scenarios.

    I remember a scooter my grandfather had laying around his house that I fell in love with; I took it home and with my father’s help, sanded it, painted it a color I chose myself, oiled it up and was proud as ever about it. I had more fun as a six year old restoring that old thing that actually using it once finished.

    When I wanted my first bike, my father had me wait an excruciating year until my birthday to get it and it was prized. When I wanted a dirt type bike when I was older, my father wouldn’t buy one, so I modified my old bike.

    I spoiled my kids a little more than my father did and bought a lot of second-hand toys, but also had them participate in fixing up second-hand scooters or bikes or building play things.

    I also, like my father did, focused on toys that encouraged creative, original thinking, like blocks and legos (this was before themed legos hit the scene).

    My kids don’t take their possessions for granted and tend to care for those things they have and to find ways to make something from very little.

    We are far too consumer oriented and it pains me to see that some parents unwarily get their children started on the consumer track without giving it a second thought.

  9. .

    I remember a scooter my grandfather had laying around his house that I fell in love with; I took it home and with my father’s help, sanded it, painted it a color I chose myself, oiled it up and was proud as ever about it. I had more fun as a six year old restoring that old thing that actually using it once finished.

    I had a similar experience as a child when I started making replacements for damaged/lost limbs and accessories for dolls and robot figures out of common household items such as aluminum foil. It was not only a joyful experience in being able to help other classmates, but also expanded into a hobby of creating models of various objects such as model aircraft out of foil which continues to this very day.

  10. Oh, we donate the stuff that’s intact. The kitchen and all the plastic paraphernalia that goes with it is headed off to a friend’s house for their toddler – as soon as we get the dog hair off the play food. The box of outgrown picture books goes to my daughter’s day care, and the stuffed animals she doesn’t want anymore to the hospice where I work.

    The after-school program my daughter attends is at a local JCC. They hold a “nearly new” sale twice a year, and they have a shed in the parking lot for donations. I love this; pull up, drop off, drive away.

    We are mostly past the plastic toy stage, thank God, and most of this year’s Chanukah gifts will be books, art supplies and DVDs of old movies. I have the only seven-year-old in town who thinks Gene Kelly dances better than Zac Efron.

  11. Some kids are indeed innately tidy. For others, it’s learned behavior. My best friend was always very tidy, and learned at a very young age how to move the furniture in her room silently so her mother wouldn’t hear her rearranging her bedroom to her satisfaction. I had the typical awful messy room (I hear you on the pillbugs) but now have learned to be tidier. But really, tidiness is an internal battle between being able to stand the clutter and taking the time to tidy up. For example, kid number 2 is tidy, but only manages it with support.

    And yeah, we’ve bought our kids very few toys, but they still ended up with incredible amounts of crap. Now that they’re older, their holiday gifts tend to be airline tickets to visit grandma to go ski-ing with their cousins.

  12. I once instructed family to please not bring presents to the then-toddler’s birthday party. I think I was anticipating what would soon indeed become a tiny landfill in the bedroom.

    Needless to say, that didn’t work. In fact, they were pissed off. Never try to take away someone’s right to make themselves feel better by spending money on a useless item for your child. Lesson learned.

  13. For my niece’s 5th birthday, my sister-in-law’s mother bought her 20 presents. Twenty. Anna was tired of opening presents and wanted to go play on the swings, but her grandmother demanded she sit there opening Disney-princess crapola for a half hour.

  14. My daughter also makes her bed daily. No idea where she got that from, mine is generally only made on the day I change the sheets (hangs head in shame).

  15. We stopped buying the kids toys a few years ago–they get enough from friends and family at Christmas and birthdays and whatnot. That seems to help, but still… its like it multiplies at night or something.

    One time, around the time my older son was 4, I sorted through the toy’s in his room. I try to cull out non-age-appropriate toys and leave stuff in his room that he’s actually going to play with (although this is always a losing battle.) Anyhow, I filled one whole garbage bag with nothing but the toys you get in fast food kid’s meals. Which not only grossed me out because I really didn’t think we ate out at fast food restaurants that much (I’m no health nut but still…. ) but also because that was a lot of CRAP that just came from no where.

  16. I find that completely comforting, as it suggests that neatness is set at a very young age, and the fact that I am messy beyond belief does not, in fact, suggest that I am a lousy human being.

    My 16-month-old has started organizing my closet and carrying things from the dish washer to the cabinet in which they belong.

    I am in love.

  17. *sigh* That reminds me, it’s time for the annual toy dump/donation for my daughter’s room.

    Got to make room for the new toys she’s bound to get for Xmas. (plus her birthday New Year’s Eve, so double toys).

  18. I feel for my poor son, because the rest of us avoid cleaning for as long as possible. At two years old, he is constantly running around trying to make the house neater. My daughter loves vacuuming and likes to help out with the dishes, but he has taken the desire for neatness and order to a whole new level. He takes dishes and cups to the sink, puts clothes and shoes away, and keeps his room surprisingly tidy. The little punk even occasionally snaps at people for not putting things in order. It’s really funny (and sometmes annoying), but I’m glad to know he’s not the only miniature neatfreak out there.

    As for the neverending pile of clutter, I hear you. We have a clothing/toy dump and major housecleaning event during one weekend each fall before we do our back-to-school shopping. It’s frightening how much crap we end up getting rid of. It’s even more frightening how much crap we end up keeping. One thing I’ve started doing in collecting the toys I know my kids won’t play with before they’re opened, and storing them in a large box in the attic. Around the holidays, I take them to a Toys for Tots donation bin so they can go to children who would appreciate them. This is especially necessary with my mother-in-law who, for whatever reason, thinks that my daughter needs a constant supply of frilly baby dolls and china tea sets (which she doesn’t even like) and that my son needs to own every stuffed animal and toy truck in the universe (he likes those, but we only have so much space).

    This year we’re asking the grandparents to take what they would have spent on toys and give our kids a savings bond or contribute to their college funds. If they want to give them a small toy, fine, but we’re pleading for no more than one.

  19. We’re working on a massive toy cleanout too. I’ve warned my kids that the cut will be at least half because they just have so much STUFF! Anything good enough will be donated.

    My daughter is amazingly good about this. This year she’s kind of looking forward to it because she has heard plenty about the kids in our area who lost all their toys to fire some weeks back. But having so many toys means my kids cannot possibly play with all of them, and so it ends up as a huge mess.

    I always tell people that if they toy is educational, active or encourages creative play, it’s probably a good choice. If it’s characters from one show or another, think more carefully on it. I much prefer toys without licensed characters on them. I’ve noticed that if they get characters it tends to limit how they use the toy.

  20. I’ve noticed that if they get characters it tends to limit how they use the toy.

    First thing we do, let’s kill all the Elmos!

    The Elmo crap is amazingly limited in scope.

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