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Why I love my daughter’s dance class

Jay

Because they’re having an “informal performance day” next week instead of a recital.

Because there’s no dress rehearsal.

Because the performance costume is a pair of black pants and a black leotard for tap, and the same black leotard and pink tights for ballet.

Because they don’t require a bun for class.

Because the dancers at every level have a range of body types – even the advanced ballet and pointe classes have some very round dancers. No comments, no criticism, no relegating them to the back row.

Because if the students stick with the program they get solid, fundamental training that will equip them to pursue advanced study – but if they just want to dance for a few years and have fun, that’s cool, too.

Because the classes are in a college arts center so we get to see all kinds of fascinating works in progress, and can attend student recitals with cheap tickets.

Because the teachers are a mix of college students and faculty, so my daughter thinks college will be really fun and is ready to go right now, thank you.

Because I can leave my house at 9:25 and get her to class by 9:30.

Because they communicate by Email and I don’t have to remember to call during business hours, when I’m usually working and can’t do much else.

Because my daughter can’t wait to dance every week, and class makes her happy.

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22 thoughts on Why I love my daughter’s dance class

  1. That sounds like a great program. I remember my daughter’s dance classes as nightmares: frufru costumes costing a lot (for six-year-olds and younger,) lots of insipid songs, and way too much focus on cuteness rather than actual dance. Then there was an African dance program taught by an award-winning superheroine of local esteem who told my daughter (then about 10 or 11) that she’d never get anywhere if she didn’t do the splits (and expected her to be able to by the next class or so.) The elitism of the dance world is something that is often hidden behind the more insidious worlds of modeling, beauty pageants, gymnastics, and ultra-competitive sports. Luckily, there is good stuff out there that doesn’t focus on winning, the ideal look of the performers, and conspicuous expense.

    Be sure to thank whoever runs that program, tell all your friends about it, and help it succeed. The world needs more of that kind of thing.

  2. I wasn’t allowed to dance- because of everything you listed Jon. My mum just didn’t think it was worth the trade off to my self-esteem and sense of cuteness, rather then physical skill and strength. She was right, but all I wanted to do was dance around and have fun.

  3. I danced from the time I was three all the way through college, ballet, very seriously. On the down side, I spent my teenage years surrounded by catty, competitive girls, I watched several of my classmates struggle with life-threatening anorexia, and most of the others with less serious but still pretty consuming body issues, and yeah, the whole thing was very gendered in ways that were often kinda toxic (for example, though female dancers outnumber male dancers by a strong margin, nearly all creative directors and choreographers are men. And female dancers are generally treated as disposable, while the male ones are supported an nurtured in much healthier ways).

    But…dance, and ballet in particular, also helped me work through some really serious feelings of being alienated from my body. Because I started using that body as a tool to express emotion and artistry, I couldn’t really hate it the way I did as I started to go through puberty. And, in an odd way (and this is something others I danced with noticed as well) knowing that I could go on stage in my silver tutu and pink satin slippers and be this absolute paragon of femininity made it actually much easier to reject that role in daily life. Both because it helped me understand it explicitly as a role, and because it did remove a lot of anxiety around the possibility of performing femininity that made it easier to choose not to do so.

  4. I’m in my late 20s and would love a class like that. 🙂

    I took ballet when I was in 3rd-5th grade. There were two ballet studios in the town, and I went to the less rigorous one, where it was more about having fun. I still kind of miss it.

  5. Dance classes were rare in my childhood due to educational budget constraints…and the fact that boys were not encouraged to pursue it in my old neighborhood.

    By the time I entered a public urban magnet high school, however, the ballroom dance gym class was so popular that it was reserved only for a small number of seniors. Due to being exceedingly lucky, I had the opportunity to learn and enjoy the class. Even got a chance to put what I learned into practice at the senior prom. Hey…at least my dance partners that night were still on speaking terms with me at the end of the prom. 🙂

    Am currently considering taking a dance course to refresh myself and to overcome physical clumsiness when attempting to execute fine steps and dancing to the musical beat.

  7. I’ve just spent the day at my daughter’s dance concert. We do have the big production with dress rehearsal, 2 performances on the day and full-on costuming (hires help keep the cost down but it still adds up). However, as I sat watching the dances tonight I was enjoying very much seeing the range of sizes and shapes of the dancers including those in senior ballet. Best of all was realising one of the young boys in a jazz class was downs syndrome. This inclusiveness is one of the things I love most about the dance school. That and the 5 minute trip from home to class, we’ve got that one too 🙂

  8. Opossum, there’s nothing wrong with calling it a recital. We could call it Fred, for all I care. But around here “recital” means fancy, expensive costumes, hair that has to be “just so”, and a week of tedious, high-stress dress rehearsals, all to satisfy adult egos and with the result of making it no-fun for the kids.

    Psyche, I am so struck by your comment about understanding femininity as a role that one could doff with the tutu and slippers. It explains a lot about my daughter, even at 7, and is really helpful. Thanks for opening my mind.

  9. I took jazz, ballet and gymnastics classes from elementary school through part of high school. Looking back, I really appreciate that they weren’t high pressure and no one cared how much you weighed or whether you were completely uncoordinated. We had FUN! We did have recitals with costumes, but nothing too expensive, and one dress rehearsal because we were going from the usual gymnasium to the high school auditorium. I had a blast and only quit once I started horseback riding. There were classes for seriously competitive students, but even they were a range of sizes. It was an excellent environment.

  10. Jay- I see how what you associate with the word “Recital” is a drag. I was just asking before because I am a music teacher, and I have six concerts coming up soon, between three elementary schools. Your post made me wonder what was wrong with the wording and if people would have any problem with my “concerts”.

  11. Reading this post made me appreciate my dance teacher growing up. I studied ballet from grade 2-12 (mostly ballet but we also got to experience jazz and modern dance classes with our regular teacher and outside instructors), and then danced recreationally for about 2-3 years into uni/college (ballet and belly dancing).

    My dance school was a great balance between a very traditional ballet school and the things that you like about your daughter’s dance school. We had to have our hair in a bun, we did a recital with proper costumes and full stage makeup. But, our dance school was non-competitive (but did offer more opportunities for the few kids who seriously wanted to and could be professional ballet dancers), we didn’t pay anything extra for costumes for our shows, we were all different body types and to some extent, skill levels but never made to feel ostricized from the other girls (she choreographed to our strengths so we all looked great on stage). My ballet teacher understood that we were a bit lower income and accepted payment for a few lessons in form of fish (my dad’s a commercial fisherman). I retrospectively appreciate not only the traditional aspects of my dance teacher’s lessons, but also her progressive attitude about dance.

  12. I can see how some people might be turned off by a big performance with fancy costumes, but I danced for many many years when I was younger and that was what I had to look forward to all year. I always loved tutus and sequins and getting to put on false eyelashes and be in front of the big lights. It was the pay off for all the work that went into learning the routine. The only reason you need a dress rehearsal is because usually that is the first time you are dancing on the stage instead of in the studio, which makes a big difference. I never thought of the rehearsal as a big deal. Did my mom love sitting through a few hours of dance to see the three or four routines I was in? It probably wasn’t the biggest thrill of her life. But she liked to see me and she knew that doing a recital was something important to me.

    That said, it is good that there are studios out there with other options for people who choose to be less classical and traditional.

  13. Opossum — I think it matters how the event plays out, not really what it’s named. Also, some kids may actually like the idea that they’re in A Concert. I studied piano, and the teacher I had in grade school really strove to make everything low-key. Still, she called the events concerts, or recitals, and there was a certain formality to them (i.e., everyone was supposed to dress nicely, etc.) that I recall being exciting, not upsetting. It made all the practice seem worthwhile because it was leading up to a meaningful event. Even so, my first piano “recitals” always took place in front of fellow students, not parents — the teacher I had then didn’t believe in full-blown, white-glove events for little kids.

  14. I don’t know- the recitals were the part I liked the best about dance class! Then again, part of the reason I was taking the class was because I wanted to be an actor at the time, and my mother said I had to take ballet to learn how to move well.

  15. My daughter’s first experience with dance classes was a different school, one with a big-deal-fancy-costume-recital in the spring. She HATED it. At that age (4 turning 5), she found the idea of being on stage really scary and the process of being measured for costumes tedious – never mind that they started measuring in December for a June recital, and what four-year-old is the same size in June that she was in December? All the costumes, which cost upwards of $75.00 to start with, then had to be professionally altered because they were too small when they were delivered. She flat-out refused to go back after the winter break.

    But she loves to dance. At the moment, she’s leaping around the living room to Coppelia, and I’m sure we’ll be invited to be her audience after lunch. So I’m delighted that we’ve found a school that nurtures her love of dance and has helped her surmount her terror of performance, without providing another source of stress in my life.

    Sure, there are kids who thrive in different atmospheres. That’s why there’s chocolae and vanilla in the world – and a good thing, too.

  16. Elizabeth- your concerts sound similar to what I’m planning on doing. No dress code, although I told the students to dress nicely (“No ripped jeans”-to quote myself 🙂 ). I am allowing them to wear festive hats if they choose as well (Santa hats, reindeer hats, etc). The first concert (officially titled the “Dress Rehearsal”) is going to be for the school community (other students, teachers, etc), but the second concert at each school is when the parents are invited. I understand this may cause stress for some of the kids involved, but it’s necessary. It’s the only opportunity for the parents to see what their kids are doing in music class. I have 700 students, so parent-teacher conferences aren’t realistic. Without a chance to show the parents what the students have learned musically, they may deem music education unnecessary.

  17. Did I do something wrong? Before my comments went right thru and now one is waiting in moderation. I promise I’m not a troll 🙂

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  20. Sounds like my ballet school. Every year there was “parents day” and the parents would come into the class to watch us. Our uniform was strict (black leotard, pink tights). When we got to a certain level we had actual recitals on stage, but even then the costumes were plain (solid leotard with a matching skirt, not even a tutu). We were only allowed to begin pointe lessons after the age of 11 so that the shoes wouldn’t deform our feet.

  21. It’s great to hear that there are so many people out there who have had positive experiences with dance schools. I started dancing at age three, and I think since then there have been only three or four years during which I haven’t been taking formal lessons. However, my experiences with ballet class when I was 7-9 yrs old were horrific. My best friend was in the class with me, and I remember my teacher berating her for being too fat – we were in fourth grade. The final straw was when she pulled me in front of the class one day and had me do part of a routine, then asked my classmates to list off what I had done wrong until I was in tears. Ballet can be a great experience when done right, but it can also be hellish.

  22. I loved reading that. I have been dancing all of my life and I can really relate to your daughter. I like the last line of your post too, you love it because it makes her happy.

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