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“If being an outspoken woman means being a bitch, we’ll take that as a compliment, thanks.”

Jill

Andi Zeisler is da bomb. As editor of Bitch magazine (one of my all-time favorites), she pens this for the Washington Post:

Bitch is a word we use culturally to describe any woman who is strong, angry, uncompromising and, often, uninterested in pleasing men. We use the term for a woman on the street who doesn’t respond to men’s catcalls or smile when they say, “Cheer up, baby, it can’t be that bad.” We use it for the woman who has a better job than a man and doesn’t apologize for it. We use it for the woman who doesn’t back down from a confrontation.

So let’s not be disingenuous. Is it a bad word? Of course it is. As a culture, we’ve done everything possible to make sure of that, starting with a constantly perpetuated mindset that deems powerful women to be scary, angry and, of course, unfeminine — and sees uncompromising speech by women as anathema to a tidy, well-run world.

Perfect. Read the whole thing — it’s good.

14 thoughts on “If being an outspoken woman means being a bitch, we’ll take that as a compliment, thanks.”

  1. Congratulations!
    It’s about time Women started speaking up, and stopped being scared of being yelled at…stopped criticizing themselves and stopped thinking everything is their fault!
    When a guy offends me and I object strenuously and he calls me “You f—ing bitch” I leave him feeling “Yes! I made my point and he HEARD me!”
    It’s time we stopped ‘sucking it up”…”letting it wash” over us…
    Nastiness is not stopped with a reasoned polite request.
    Miss Goodie Two Shoes is GONE!
    I’m 77…and NOTHING irks me more than women criticizing themselves because Men aren’t happy…or whining about it.
    We’re all in the same boat…the world’s a mess..it’s ALL our faults…we can only pull together…Put an end to slavery..whether it be in the household…or in business…or in foreign policy. Stand up and SHOUT! BE a BITCH!!! and Be PROUD of it!!
    Mimi Martin

  2. Congratulations!! Keep up the good work!! It’s about time!!
    Stand up and SHOUT…BE angry..BE PROUD! BE A BITCH!
    END subservience.

  3. I have a bumper sticker that has BITCH in big letters, then underneath it says:
    Beautiful Intelligent Talented Charming and HORNY

    It is one of my very favorite bumper stickers.

  4. My last workplace was in an academic office. My boss had been selected for her position just a few months before I was hired, but the rest of my (also all female) coworkers had been there for years, so had been present during the whole selection and hiring process. They all really, really liked her, and told me that during the hiring process, they’d heard that she’d been referred to as a “bitch on wheels.” And she was, in fact, the perfect example of a woman who was direct and blunt, and wouldn’t take “no” for the first answer from the higher-ups, and wasn’t going to just meekly go along with things, which was – according to my coworkers – a nice contrast to her (male) predecessor, who had apparently been much more accommodating and less likely to make waves and push for major (and necessary) changes in the department. We thought she was a great boss and a nice person – she wasn’t unreasonable or mean or controlling or etc. – so clearly the only reason for the “bitch” label was that she was really good at being in charge of an organization. Plus, she loathed academic politics, which probably annoyed an endless number of people.

  5. Danica Patrick said that she was The Bitch in her book. That was before Sarah Fisher returned to the IRL in August 2006.

    …BTW, I prefer a woman who is a bitch than one who submits to male supremacy.

  6. Leon Pitts had a good column this morning about how every woman who reaches a high political position seems to get tagged as cold, unfeeling, ruthless, bitchy, etc. Either all high-achieving female politicians share the same personality type, or there’s something wrong with a lot of people’s assumptions about women. Guess which proposition is more likely.

  8. How about if a guy bends over backwards to accommodate the goals and aspirations of a woman and she achieves a certain level of success only to realize that she would prefer not shoulder the burdens that come with success, like responsibility or perhaps that she fails to reach the level of success that she hoped for, through no fault of the guy and she becomes resentful because she now realizes that she would prefer to be taken care of and the guy having sacrificed for the benefit of the woman can’t “take care” of her in the fashion she deserves and she hurls nasty put downs to the guy who has sacrificed so much. And by the way, since when do you have to be nasty and mean to be successful. Is Nancy Pelosi nasty and mean? I don’t think so, but she certainly would have to be considered successful. What kind of decent social philosophy prides itself on its nastiness and meanness?

  12. Courage, I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about, except to answer your last question: yes, there are certainly people who call Nancy Pelosi a bitch. See, being called a “bitch” isn’t actually about being mean and nasty to people, it’s about doing anything is too loud or aggressive or assertive or powerful for a woman in this culture. Bitch is a word to let you know that the speaker doesn’t think you’re behaving like a good woman should.

  13. How about if a guy bends over backwards to accommodate the goals and aspirations of a woman and she achieves a certain level of success only to realize that she would prefer not shoulder the burdens that come with success, like responsibility or perhaps that she fails to reach the level of success that she hoped for, through no fault of the guy and she becomes resentful because she now realizes that she would prefer to be taken care of and the guy having sacrificed for the benefit of the woman can’t “take care” of her in the fashion she deserves and she hurls nasty put downs to the guy who has sacrificed so much.

    You mean like the husband who divorces the wife who put him through medical school and marries a much younger woman? Or the husband who tries to get his wife to sign divorce papers while she’s recovering from a mastectomy? Or the husband who tries to have his wife thrown out of the house so he can move his mistress in?

    An asshole is an asshole, regardless of gender. The fact that a woman is doing the exact same thing that men so often do in the same situation makes her an asshole, too. Why do you have a need to claim that it’s so much worse when a woman acts like an asshole to her husband than when a man acts like an asshole to his wife?

  14. My own definition of the term being what it is, I can confidently say that I want my next president to be a bitch, and that goes for men and women. Outspoken? Check. Commanding? Indeed. Unworried about pleasing everybody? Sure. Won’t bow to pressure to be “nice”? You bet.

    George W Bush?? He has reached his term limit.

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