In defense of the sanctimonious women's studies set || First feminist blog on the internet

47 thoughts on Thank God I am no longer a teenage girl

  2. Eww, do these 19-22 year old dudes realize that their preference for fake boobs (but not too big) are being broadcast to 10-14 year olds?
    Around 14-16, I (along with most of the young women I know) had moved on to Cosmo, Elle, et al.
    I guess I should be more disturbed by the contents, but this is what grosses me out the most.

  4. come back next month when we share how to lose 15 lbs. in 1 week – once you’re thin, you will definitely get your date for prom!

    * barf *

    i totally read this shit as a kid & i think it had permanent damage on my body image.

  5. looks like the geniuses at cosmo have knocked another one outta the park…
    first grey rape, and now this horse shit…
    once again, why i quit fucking reading cosmo…they don’t even fucking think about what they put out there for young women and young men to see…how irresponsible!!!

    but of course, if we write them we will probably get some condescending bulk letter back, just like i did, and everyone else i could find that wrote them, when they did that bullshit on so-called grey rape…now they are just attacking a younger populatin.

  8. Wow — I’d missed the whole gray rape thing. However, that Laura Sessions Stepp is dishing out bullshit, or that Cosmo is happy to serve bullshit up, can hardly constitute a surprise anymore. What scares me is the rash of articles on “gray rape” in college newspapers that followed Stepp’s piece — that means this notion is going to be further embedded in exactly the population that needs to have the clearest understanding that drunk does not equal yes.

  9. Speaking of Cosmo and their great insights into “gray rape” (which I was apparently incapable of understanding) – the new issue just hit the stands. I flipped through (did NOT buy) to the letters section to see what they published about that article – all full of praise!! I don’t know how anyone could have felt better after reading that load of crap, but I guess I’m glad those two did.

  10. And I thought that my teenage years were sullied by finding discarded porn mags on the way home from junior high school (I collected them and saved them and perused them and was hence quite dilluded about my upcoming womenhood).

    Now the young girls of today needn’t have a pile of misogynist claptrap fall before them from an alley trash heap, they’ve got Cosmo to give it full dish, front and center, every month, just for them.

    Who the fuck are these people working for? Are they bankrolled by Murdoch? By MRA’s?

  12. Geez. That is disturbing, but maybe..I remember in Sassy (bless that magazine) once they were interviewing various surfer dudes, and one of them was a total douche, and said all kinds of ridic. things like girls should be thin and pretty and not talk much. Sassy didn’t edit, but ran his comments, I could almost see the interviewer being like, “you see ladies, sometimes, guys can be douches, and not worth your precious time.”

    So maybe that was the context of the cosmo girl article? I hope?

  13. Their advertisers. Teenage girls who are self-confident and who figure “if a boy doesn’t like the way I look, fuck HIM with a backhoe, a better boy will be along shortly,” don’t buy all the products the magazines’ advertisers peddle.

  14. Not that anyone wanted to know, but my breasts are my primary (by which I mean favourite) erogenous zone. If I lost feeling in my nipples, I’d probably stop enjoying sex.

    But I guess most of the men polled think the female orgasm is a myth, too, so it shouldn’t surprise me that (women) the sexual fulfillment/physical comfort of their partners doesn’t really concern them.

    In fact, they probably prefer women who can’t feel anything, or say anything. Hey, maybe they should just buy real dolls, eh? That’d solve a lot of problems.

  15. So, menstruation is gross, but slicing open your breasts to stick sacks full of saline into your chest is kosher? Do these people watch Discovery Health?

    And god forbid anything interfere with their male fantasy of sexual desireability.

  16. Here’s my favorite part: but only if they “help her” to “hold herself with just the right amount of self-confidence.” Which is to say, not too much. Because God forbid a young woman have too much self-confidence.

  17. First time visitor here. You people make me want to laugh. All of you should take a deep, soothing breath. The man, the patriarchy, the media, and all the other figments of your imagination aren’t out to get you.

  19. evil fizz Said:
    Do these people watch Discovery Health?

    LOL! That would be assuming that these jerks have any interest in science of any sort, beyond “how to jerk off when even you don’t find yourself remotely attractive”.

  20. Dead on, Emily. I can’t fathom any other interpretation of that guy’s “opinion”. His honesty is f-in’ scary.

  21. First time visitor here. You people make me want to laugh. All of you should take a deep, soothing breath. The man, the patriarchy, the media, and all the other figments of your imagination aren’t out to get you.

    Men and media are figments of my imagination?

  22. awkward phrasing, to be sure, but I think the you’re-making-mountains-out-of-molehills message was clear.

  23. The media that misleads women and portrays them in an unfairly bad light is a figment of your imagination, but I’ll save that for another day.

    As a man who was a teenage boy not all that long ago, I can tell you that a lot of time teenage boys are pretty grossed out by menstrual periods. Also men, especially teenage boys who are under-sexed and over-hormonal, like pretty breasts. Alert the presses.

    Do most men grow and mature to a point where they don’t care about your period? Yes. But some are immature at that stage of life.

    So I don’t see what’s wrong with a magazine that is explicitly about superficial things like dating and makeup saying these things. I didn’t read the article, but if it’s just saying something like “don’t talk about your period to boys you want to date” or “maybe try a pushup bathing suit if you’re self-conscious and haven’t fully developed everything yet,” I see absolutely no problems.

  24. I want to go on record here and say that as a male, my encounters with menses converge with zero. I have nothing against the stuff! I understand it to be a bit icky, I certainly don’t want to collect it, but it baffles me that it’s considered worth writing about, even in something like cosmo. It really does trouble me that they’re going to be making young girls selfconscious about something which is completely normal. Sure it’s not pleasant, but it’s freaking natural.

    Eff Jay Emm Da Vee, this post makes no mention of The Man or the patriarchy, so it really does seem like you’re trolling. Sort of off-topic, confused, badly-worded trolling, but trolling none the less. You didn’t even bother to try to defend your arguments, but I don’t think you’d have been any more convincing if you had.

  25. If I were trolling, I wouldn’t be posting from my school with my school email address(which readily IDs my name).

    In fairness, you might be correct. I read the comments section of several cross-linked blogs talking about the same article (hence first time visitor to this particular blog) so the most egregious examples of the sentiment I was responding to may not be here.

  26. Wow. It amazes me that made it to print.

    However, in the defense of teen girls magazines (I can’t talk for the US, just the UK) I would never have learnt anything about sex if it hadn’t been for Just 17. They always presented the facts – didn’t encourage you to abstain OR to have sex – but promoted the idea that you should do it when you felt ready…and all the information about protection was right there for you. I hope teen girls still have magazines like that…

  27. J-17 is long gone, I was distressed to find. As far as I can see there’s nothing comparable on the market in terms of magazines that – god forbid – encourage teenage girls to embrace diversity, love themselves as they are, etc.

    I’m very glad it existed when I was a (pre-)teen, and am extremely worried when I look at the monstrosities that have replaced it.

  28. I’m with Jessica. What the fuck is “22 year old man” and “teen girl” doing in the same paragraph?

    Yes, yes, I know, 19 is still technically a teenager, but we all know that’s not what the magazine means by “teens.”

    Gross.

  29. Eff Jay, when Maxim runs articles about laser removal of back hair and penile implants b/c that’s what women want from men, come back. Until then, you are out of your depth.

  30. Violetfishie, it is my experience that teen girl mags in the UK are a million light years from their US counterparts. When I lived in the UK I saw only positive teen messages in these magazines. Certainly they were sold with some of the same fashion/advertising/stereotype crap, but overall I felt that they were in the spirit of camaraderie, with a message somewhat like ‘Hey, girls! Here’s how to be strong, go get ’em! (men, etc.)’ whereas the message overall in the US teen mags is ‘You’re ugly and you’ll never get that guy, but hey! Buy all this crap and you may just win some ‘pity sex’ (whatever the fuck that is). There’s no camaraderie between teen girls here in the US, only encouraged adversity.

  31. Sooooo…. menstruation “talk” is icky, but scouring the Internet to find video or pictures of other men ejaculating is almost a religion for some of these guys.

    A Horace Walpole quote seems appropriate now.

    Life is a comedy for those who think… and a tragedy for those who feel.

  33. Real men surveyed for the article in question think their visual stimulation is more important than a woman’s erogenous zones and pleasure. Yeah, we imagined that being a problem. I mean, girls who have not even figured out how much fun their own nipples can be, should not be encouraged to cut through the nerves that make them fun, just so a bunch of asshats can get find them appealing. But that’s not misogyny – nope. Nothing to see here.

  34. I often read the “what men think” section of Cosmo just to know what I, as a guy, should be thinking 😉

    Seriously, though — WTF? I never had any strong opinions about menstral blood — either as a teenager or now. I mean it isn’t something that gets me all hot and bothered and I’m rather glad I don’t have to deal with the effort of pads, tampons or what not (as well as school officials who say I have to carry menstral supplies in my hands as they won’t let me have a purse or backpack). But I never found anything particularly repulsive about the matter. If anything, menstruation was something vaguely intriguing due to it being something other people experienced that I never would.

    And implants? That is something I’ve a strong opinion about … what’s wrong with how God made each of us?

  35. To be clear, this isn’t regular Cosmo — it’s Teen Cosmo. Meaning it’s target audience is somewhere around the age of 12.

    So I don’t see what’s wrong with a magazine that is explicitly about superficial things like dating and makeup saying these things. I didn’t read the article, but if it’s just saying something like “don’t talk about your period to boys you want to date” or “maybe try a pushup bathing suit if you’re self-conscious and haven’t fully developed everything yet,” I see absolutely no problems.

    No. It’s saying, “Guys think breast implants are cool!” and following that up with, “Guys think periods are TOTALLY DISGUSTING!”

    Neither of which are universally true. And, while I’m only 24 and my experience is limited, I have yet to date a guy who was totally grossed out by my periods. I’m sure they exist, but I think there’s a good argument against making teenage girls even more insecure about their bodies.

  36. Eff Jay, when Maxim runs articles about laser removal of back hair and penile implants b/c that’s what women want from men, come back. Until then, you are out of your depth.

    I’m waiting for the day. and sadly, I think it will be a long wait.
    though now I’m going to have to check out these UK mags, simply because I want to know what I missed.

  37. Hello! Hello? What is the problem again? To let immature girls know how immature boys feel? Is that the issue? Or the fact that men like big boobs?

    So we should protect girls by letting them believe that men generally think of a womens period as a jolly and yummie event? And pretend that men are less into looks than women themself?

    Great idea! Let them find out for themself then instead. If you have raised your kids the right way these magazines pose no threat. But maybe you have not done your jobs when you are so concerned?

  38. Hi

    I’m a guy and i work with fifty other guys and regarding this quote

    >guys love breast implants but are totally grossed out by your icky, dirty periods.

    Well in my experience as a guy talking candidly to other guys, we don’t like fake tits. We like real ones, and when it comes to periods, most of us have no problem fucking you with a period because it means we don’t have to lube up. Can all you girls honestly say you have no problem having sex with during your period. That’s not to say I’m into periods, i would go play fetch with a tampon but then again would you.

    Huh?

    Also, when it comes to the word slut and skank, the only time i ever hear these words is when it comes out of a another woman’s mouth.

    Its very easy for the yanks to blame the muslims for all their problems, even when they now the reality is a lot more complicated, and it is very easy for men to blame women and women to blame men, but in reality, you want feel better about yourself and the world look deeper all the real problems and answers are there.

    If we all did this, this like rock would be a much nicer place.

  39. Eff Jay, when Maxim runs articles about laser removal of back hair and penile implants b/c that’s what women want from men, come back. Until then, you are out of your depth.

    WIN.

  41. Michael, #38: I have no problem having sex during my period. Honestly. And neither did the male individual I was hooking up with at the time.

  42. As an 18 year-old female, I know how easy it is to be convinced that you’re a monster. I avoided those silly magazines like the plague, but that didn’t stop everything else from bombarding my mind with the image of a thin, pretty, perfect woman. Even the idea of ‘If you don’t look like this lady here, you’re worthless’ was still presented to me. Despite not reading those magazines, I still had the idea that I wasn’t worth anyone’s love. A silly idea, but when you’re in those impressionable years, it’s easy to adopt anything negative when there’s little positive to out-weigh it.

  44. You actually believe that men/boys like implants and hate periods? Yo have a lot to learn.

    “…And that teenage girls already have enough shit to deal with…”
    That annoys me more every time I hear it, how would you know if girls had it worse? Oh right… male privelage…

    http://www.the-niceguy.com/Checklist.php

  45. You know, periods simply are icky. I mean, for one thing, it’s blood. Also, my friend acts like a complete maniac during hers, which I can understand with all the pain and that, I don’t resent it at all; it’s just it contributes to the grossness of regular painful bloody ejection.

    I can’t help but feel slightly disturbed when people talk about the details of periods. It’s like discussing shits.

    Of course, periods barely scratch the depths of gross that surgery accumulates.

  46. And we have to remember, too, that girls today in general are having periods much earlier than they were a century ago (11-12 today, on average, as opposed to 15-16 around 1900). That means that how a girl is taught to feel about her body in regards to menstruation tends to reflect how she will feel about other things. If it’s a no big-deal issue, simply a body function, she’ll be a darned sight better off than if she’s raised with a sense that it icks everyone out.

    Hell, more disease has been spread by semen than by menstrual blood, but girls are taught in porn that they ought to enjoy having cum on their face. And the boys can’t even say the word “period” without getting squicky?

    Please.

  47. Serious Health note – penetration during the bleeding phase increases the risk of infections for the woman as the chemical pH balance is not as good as it normally is. Even with a condom there is an increased risk of thrush (because of the friction combined with the altered pH). The post ‘no need for lube’ because of the blood is not a good idea either as blood isn’t lubrication – it causes more friction for the woman not less. If a woman isn’t wet enough it’s usually because she’s not ready for penetration and mid-cycle (ovulation) is by far the wettest time of the month – as you would expect !

    And – pubic hair removal and thong wearing also cause too much friction (thong sales in Europe have fallen in recent years – shops are having to give them away – because gynaecologists are campaigning against them and recently they’ve started promoting pubic hair as a barrier to infection).

    And yes – breast implants are not a good idea either as they reduce sensation and for some women their breasts really are the key to arousal. Also they can interfere with breastfeeding therefore increasing breast cancer risk.

    Sigh – why is it such a struggle for girls to learn how to look after their sexual health ?

Comments are currently closed.