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It’s 10pm. Do you know where your local roving gangs of lesbians are?

Jill

Best. O’Reilly. Ever.

Apparently there is a rampant infestation of pink-pistol-toting lesbian gangs (seriously), wreaking havoc on cities across the nation with their combat boots, short haircuts, and unnatural love of softball. They are recruiting children in schools to be members of their “lower socio-economic crew” — I suspect from the same school Emperor Misha attended (you know, the one where he learned how to fist himself to orgasm in the 6th grade).

To quote the brilliant Mr. O’Reilly, “It makes sense if you had lawless gay people that they would do this sort of thing.”

Thank God for brave culture warriors like Bill who are willing to shed light on the kind of filth that one comes across when doing the valuable journalistic work of Googling “lesbian gang-bang.”

Thanks to Thom for the link.

61 thoughts on It’s 10pm. Do you know where your local roving gangs of lesbians are?

  1. It makes perfect sense that this desperate meme would suddenly appear. After all, it’s becoming more clear every day that most gay people just want to be left alone to live their lives, which means that it’s pretty hard to pump them up as a terrifying threat to all we hold dear. When your gay neighbor Bill and his partner are the people who pick up your mail while you’re on vacation, O’Reilly and his ilk need some pretty major scare tactics to try and maintain homophobia.

    If you can’t find the enemy you want, invent them. Oldest trick in the book.

  2. Uhm… So, I live in Chicago, which is a pretty big city… and there are A LOT of dykes here, including myself. I have never heard of these crazy lesbian gangs going around carrying pink pistols. I have this feeling that when he says these dyke groups are “all over the country”, it might be an exaggerating the number. Now Bill fuckin’ O Reilly is gonna act like ALL gay people are in on this shit.

    By the way, I would wanna start my own lesbian gang, but our hobbies are a little less violent. Instead, we go around “recruiting” young women by giving them mullets and then go driving on our Harley’s.
    🙂

  3. We don’t have any. I think the lesbians moved away.

    It makes sense if you had lawless gay people that they would do this sort of thing.

    (stares at giant hole in the ground)
    “It makes sense that if you had a fleet of orbital mass drivers in the hands of unruly preschoolers that they would do this sort of thing.”

  4. Let’s see:

    ‘Underground groups’, check.
    Attacking innocent hetrosexuals, check.
    Corrupting the children, check.
    Converting them into homosexuality, check.
    Molesting them, check.
    Lesbians having lots of pink, check.

    Man, they just need to add in attacking Christians, hating America, and loving Hillary Clinton, and you’ve got Gay Demonization Bingo.

    Personally, I’d join just for the pink guns.

  6. I so don’t get it. Do they think we’re that stupid? If stuff like this was happening in “every major city,” it would be on the cover of Newsweek!!!! SNL would be doing spoofs for Christ sake! I mean does it get more spoof-worthy than that? As a matter of fact, screw it– that’s just a kick ass idea for a great sketch. Gangs of lesbians with pink pistols. I can see it now… Will Ferell would have to play the victim.

    I mean come on. This video they play is supposed to prove something? All I’m seeing is women being violent– which is already happening in schoolyards and gangs. I don’t see rainbows, butch haircuts or pink pistols anywhere.

    This is laughable and yet not… fricking annoying. How does this African American man keep a straight face when Bill gets his little digs in about ethnic groups as well. LORD.

    ~tobestalks.blogspot.com

  7. Rod Wheeler is a *private* detective, who has worked for the police but (as I understand his website) is not currently an employee. Which I guess is what allows him to maintain a likely lucrative partnership with FOX News — he claims over 500 appearances on that channel.

    I notice O’Reilly and Wheeler touched on the necessary hot buttons for neocon infotainment:
    1. Man-hating lesbian feminists, go! The cases they talked about specifically were all of gangs of women attacking men.
    2. Connection of homosexuality and child abuse, particularly sexual abuse: Kids reportedly forced to engage in sexual activity in these lesbian gangs.
    3. Titilation: Footage of woman-on-woman violence that resembles scenes from Reform School Girls.
    4. Male homophobia: Gay men are doing it too, so watch your cornhole.
    5. The gays are recruiting (closely connected to the supposed predation in #2): “indoctrinating our children into this lifestyle.” I can’t say it better.
    6. Terror: Everyone stay perfectly paranoid!

    I am baffled about the figure of 150 lesbian gangs in DC/Maryland. Are they counting high school gay-straight alliances? Then again, Bill has been known to fabricate his numbers from thin air on occasion. If I didn’t know people who take him as gospel, I’d just be laughing and not so horrified.

  14. And of course the Fox News Crime Analyst HAD to be named “Rod Wheeler.” I guess Matt Sanchez has first dibs on “Rod Majors” and that was the next best thing he could come up with.

  15. Adnan – link didn’t work!

    If I haven’t been attacked by a roving gang of lesbians yet, does that mean I’m not pretty? I want a roving gang of lesbians!

  16. The ones in the pink suits particularly scare me.

    As I was watching this it seemed like a bad version of a script by William S. Burroughs. Have O’Reilly’s people gone and stolen Burroughs’ plot lines and forgot the satire? Of course, Burroughs was more likely to have gay dude gangs led by Kim Carson than lesbians, but the parallels are there.

  18. Can you even get a pink pistol? Made of what, Camay soap? What caliber are pink pistols anyway? Do they fire bullets or a flag that says BANG! ?

    If so, where do I place my order?

  19. Apparently there is a rampant infestation of pink-pistol-toting lesbian gangs (seriously), wreaking havoc on cities across the nation

    Did Bill ‘O just learn about Code Pink?

    There are groups that patrol places where people have been attacked for being perceived as gay. Sort of like Guardian Angels for us queers. Probably a good idea in some places.

  20. “Can you even get a pink pistol?”

    Sure. You can get guns painted pretty much any color you want, provided you’re willing to go to the trouble and/or expense.

  22. kxo: Thanks for posting that link. That’s what the first part of the segment, about the attack in New York, is about. Of course, O’Reilly (like most of the media) conveniently leaves out most of the details of the story, like how this guy first verbally, then physically, harassed the girls, who then fought back in self-defense – which is apparently a crime, at least if you’re a group of young queer people of color – oh, woops, sorry, a “lesbian gang.”

  23. My God that’s probably the true story behind BillO’s hate propaganda. That isn’t infuriationg, it scary as hell.

  24. Not for nothin’, but does anyone else get the sense that they are using some juicy B-roll from some cameraman’s time in the Tenderloin to show the, uh, “vicious lesbian gangs” that the speakers are droning on about in the background? Check out the Turk street sign.

    The rest is left as an exercise to the reader, especially readers who are familiar with SF neighborhoods.

    Fair and balanced, ahoy!

  26. I watched this video and was thinking the whole time, “If it wasn’t O’Reilly, I would swear this is just some sort of awful joke.” But of course, it IS O’Reilly, so I know he was perfectly serious. O’Reilly does more harm than any imaginary lesbian gangs will ever do. This “story” just adds to the list of thing’s he’s “reported” that make me seriously angry (such as the Shawn Hornbeck case back in January). This sort of reporting makes me particularly sick. They use a lot of “scare words” and “buzz words” but never seem to present any verifiable facts. But of course, some people will say, “Well, Bill O’Reilly said it so it must be true.”

    I live in the Washington, D.C. area. I went through a local public school system. I have never heard of these “150+ crews” in the area. Also, I never read anything in the Post about an attack of any sort at the Capitol Heights Metro station recently. I’m not saying there wasn’t some sort of attack, I just don’t remember hearing about it. I do think that if a lesbian gang had actually attacked a man at a Metro station, it would have been pretty prominent in the local news.

  27. My wife overheard the sound while I was watching it and asked me what kind of Fox spoof site I had found.

  28. I have never heard of these crazy lesbian gangs going around carrying pink pistols.

    It sounds vaguely familiar. Wasn’t there an episode of Happy Days about this?

  29. Um, so, where are these roving gangs of lesbians congregating? Out of purely intellectual curiosity, of course.

    It takes a special kind of assbag to think that man-hating, crew-cut-sportin’ bulldaggers would touch PINK guns.

  30. You know what? I hate modern society. I hate it that it’s allowed to say hateful lies like this on television. I can’t even say that it’s an American thing and be safe in the thought of “we’re better than this” because the same kind of outright lying goes on in my country as well, though not as mortifying (it’s more political than social and we have no fundies. We get a different flavour of fascism, but I won’t go into detail on that now.)

    I want to hurt somebody now. Preferably O’Reilly.

  33. I can’t tell the difference between Bill O and Stephen Colbert anymore. Bill looks increasingly like a parody.

  34. First of all, everybody knows we favor lavender guns, & we’re not afraid to use ’em. None of my crew would be caught dead with pink pistols.

    Second, O’Reilly’s nitwit ‘expert’, ‘Detective’ Wheeler may no longer be employed by any police department, but according to his website he does have extensive professional experience in tracking down unfaithful spouses. Which is good enough to make him a FOX lesbian gang expert. And more to the point, he’s also, according to the same website, an enthusiastic Christian & active member of Rev. Betty P. Peebles’ Jericho City of Praise in Landover MD. Rev. Peebles, in turn, is an assertive friend of rightwing Christianist groups like the American Family Association & the Family Research Council, a militant, if idiosyncratic Christian Zionist, &, inevitably, deeply, deeply alarmed by the imminent threat homosexuality poses to our nation. And evidently she’s put the fear in Rod.

  35. How can you be so sure O’Reily is lying. Are we suppossed to ignore something just because it reflects poorly on a dis-enfranchised community? I know this story sounds weird and plays on sterotypes, but just because something is stereotypical doesn’t make it false. Only ideologues mock inconvienient truths.

    A local NBC affiliate and the washington post has picked up on the story too.

  36. OK, where is Tinky-Winky involved in this? Oh, wait…he’s a he, so I guess he has his own gang. Sponge Bob is involved in recruiting for that one, right?

    How does O’Reilly sleep at night knowing that roving gangs of heavily armed gays roam our streets, attacking God-fearing Christians? He doesn’t sleep–of course, like any good zombie, he doesn’t need it…he probably stays up and watches tapes of his own show, yelling, “Yeah, I scored points with that witty remark! Ha, libby, take that!”

  37. Pingback: Ways to End the World » Blog Archive » Lesbian Gang Epidemic

  40. I would hope not. The last I heard they were one of the bigger non-NRA groups involved in the lawsuit against the New Orleans government over the illegal seizure of firearms from citizens during the Katrina aftermath.

  42. Seriously. All they had to do to find out what “pink pistols” meant was a goddamned Google search. It’s a well-respected, widespread gun-rights advocacy and education group for the queer community.
    The Pink Pistols do not, in fact, carry actual pink pistols, nor are they themselves firearms. Similarly, the Black Panthers are not, in fact, a group of large jungle cats roving the streets. Also, the Blue Angels, for the record, are not a choir of God’s chosen servants, flying about doing good deeds while painted in woad. And the Detroit Pistons? Not actual engine parts. They don’t even carry engine parts! It’s true!

  43. Am I the only who thinks that the good detective is getting off on the idea of helpless young women getting indoctrinated into the world of lesbianism? (BO as well, for that matter.)

    It seems like they’re just waiting to dive into the really juicy (sorry) stuff that they can’t say, cause it’s a family show and all.

  44. It sounds to me as if Bill O R heard about the Pink Pistols and this was his response. Gotta keep the paranoia up, y’know. My husband commented that the video actually looks like a purse snatcher getting caught. But who cares, least of all O’Reilly. No doubt it’s just as bad for a woman to resist a purse snatcher, so, same difference, huh?

  45. I don’t watch the conservative blowhards, so missed this one, but … well I don’t even begin to know what to say. Please tell me he said this on April Fool’s Day. It’s the only thing I can think of that makes any sense.

  47. Jill:

    why is my comment (#35) still awaiting moderation while other comments have been published?

  48. The Pink Pistols do not, in fact, carry actual pink pistols…

    *pout*
    so i can’t get a pink 9mm glock to match my pink razr phone and pink ipod? what’s the world coming to?

  49. I think it was Molly Ivins who suggested that we relax gun laws as much as the NRA is screaming for, in exchange for every single gun, shotgun, and rifle having to be bright pink with purple polka dots on it.

    And what Grade Z movie did Billy swipe that from?

  50. Could we possibly get a post up (a titled one I mean, sorry, not au fait with the correct blogging terminology) with a link to the Fierce website or something to encourage us all to help to get those poor New Jersey women out of jail? I just can’t bear to think of it being let slide.

  51. Am I the only who thinks that the good detective is getting off on the idea of helpless young women getting indoctrinated into the world of lesbianism?

    Oh hell no. He’s probably reliving all the bad pulp novels on the subject he jacked off to as a teenager.

  52. Jill:

    why is my comment (#35) still awaiting moderation while other comments have been published?

    Because not all comments go into moderation. Yours did. I was out last night and gone all day today, which is why for me to approve it.

  53. Because not all comments go into moderation. Yours did. I was out last night and gone all day today, which is why for me to approve it.

    Oh. OK. A blogger with a life? Who’d thunk it? 😉

  54. Are you kidding me?!
    This can’t be true. FOX has hit a new low. I am an Executive Producer for a tv station here in Florida. Gay folks work for 99% of tv stations in the US. I can’t believe that they would let this go on air. Its just plain sad.

  55. A local NBC affiliate and the washington post has picked up on the story too.

    Did you follow your own links? Sheesh. One of the stories was about 8th grade girls harassing others. Not a gang or pink pistol in sight, much less marauding on the streets. Hardly a matter of “picking up the story too.”

    Or is it because all gay people look alike to you – that any news about any gay person anywhere is a part of the same news story?
    Get a grip.

  56. Did you follow your own links? Sheesh. One of the stories was about 8th grade girls harassing others. Not a gang or pink pistol in sight, much less marauding on the streets. Hardly a matter of “picking up the story too.”

    Peter:

    I saw O’Reilly’s story as a discovery of a possible trend, not simply an item on on particular gang. So I stand by the links as relevant.

    Or is it because all gay people look alike to you

    Er, no. and, btw, you’re getting your stereotypes mixed up. Bigots think POC look alike, not gays. But it must convienient to think those who disagree with you are bigots.

  57. Oh please, your original post with its “Only ideologues mock inconvienient truths” was clearly intended to be condescending and insulting to everyone on the thread, and then, in a thread about “a rampant infestation of pink-pistol-toting lesbian gangs” the best you can do to prove your point that it is a real issue is link to a story about a small group of 8th grade bullies?

    Talk about reaching. In case you didn’t notice, the mocking on the thread was about the fact that there is no evidence whatsoever that there IS such a “trend” – and your lame link did nothing to dispel that.

    I don’t see any link whatever between that story and the idiotic report that O’Reilly did, except the fact that it included lesbians (and 8th grade lesbians, at that).

    So pardon me for wondering why you are lumping all lesbian misbehavior into a single “trend” – and mocking others for not noticing it.

    But its nice to know that you are very clear on what is and isn’t bigotry. That’s very reassuring.

  58. Thats so dumb,Some peopele can be so rude,I think Reilly whatever guy need’s to be put down.Plus that story of the african American lesbians was so meesed up two,wtf is the world coming too….he’s probably just trying to get lesbians,gays,etc.tempted to see if they actually do something so that the people will hate them more so then they do now…..if he wants war I say sign me up….not really but you get my point.

    I mean there’s only so much bullshit (Humans)we can really stand before your just bound to explode and go crazy ..but thats not the case yet….but people are turning there curiosity’s into much more then peeping…there intruding and it can only work for so long before the Inevitable happens.

    Well anyways im no smart person or usually caring,just stopping by,and thats bassically all I wanted to say……..oh forgot.
    I got DIBS on the new and highly custom tuned …Pink Ruger P89T Two-Tone gun when it comes out.

  59. Oh please, your original post with its “Only ideologues mock inconvienient truths” was clearly intended to be condescending and insulting to everyone on the thread,

    I was struck by the certainty of everyone, a certainty usually associated with knee-jerk ideology, which of course, is something O’Reilly himself (and probably everyone passionate about politics) is susceptible to.

    I don’t see any link whatever between that story and the idiotic report that O’Reilly did, except the fact that it included lesbians (and 8th grade lesbians, at that).

    Actually, O’reilly mentioned 10yr old recruits. Gangs are usually youth-oriented and often use ethnic-identifiers, so its not a stretch for me to believe there may be gangs forming along the lines of another strong identity trait.

  61. I don’t see any link whatever between that story and the idiotic report that O’Reilly did, except the fact that it included lesbians (and 8th grade lesbians, at that).

    Peter:

    I just realized the NBC piece is about DTO, one of the gangs O’Reilly mentioned. So we have confirmation from a second news source.

    Not that I necesssarily believe this, and I don’t think even O’reilly is asserting its some sort of large trend, but I don’t see any reason to be so certain this it is a lie.

    But I’m sure this is the way Catholics responded when the priest child-abuse crimes first hit the press.

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