In defense of the sanctimonious women's studies set || First feminist blog on the internet

Protect the Children: Hide Your Dictionary

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If there are children around, please shield their eyes. If you’re under the age of 18, or value your child-like innocence, or are an adult who thinks that there is a vast empty space below your belly-button and above your knees, please stop reading now, because I’m going to be writing a very naughty word:

Scrotum.

This may have upset you, and for that I apologize. I suspect this blog may now be banned from libraries everywhere (if it made it through the family-friendly filter in the first place). Because apparently, the anatomically correct words for human and animal body parts are unacceptable in Freedom-land. First there was the Hoohah Monologues, because some people are offended by the word “vagina.” Now there’s the banning of a Newbery-Medal-winning book because the author uses the word “scrotum” and that makes some librarians and parents uncomfortable.

The story involves a dog who is bitten on the scrotum love spuds by a rattlesnake. According to the author, the real-life dog of a friend of hers was bitten on the hangy-thing-below-the-weewee by a snake, and she based the story off of that incident.

“I think it’s a good case of an author not realizing her audience,” said Frederick Muller, a librarian at Halsted Middle School in Newton, N.J. “If I were a third- or fourth-grade teacher, I wouldn’t want to have to explain that.”

Well, he could explain it to them the way that my dad explained a scrotum gonad to my sister and I when, as little tykes, we saw a large dog running around and became extremely upset because we thought he had a tumor between his legs (our own dog was neutered): “Girls, that’s a scrotum, and it holds testicles. You might have heard the boys in the back of the school bus call them ‘balls.'”*

My mom laughed, we got it, and although I grew up to be a sexual deviant (or a “feminist”), my sister turned out all right.

Ms. Nilsson, reached at Sunnyside Elementary School in Durango, Colo., said she had heard from dozens of librarians who agreed with her stance. “I don’t want to start an issue about censorship,” she said. “But you won’t find men’s genitalia in quality literature.”

“At least not for children,” she added.

Too bad you will find male genitalia on roughly half the population of the world. And in the works of such tawdry, quality-lacking authors like James Joyce, Ernest Hemingway, D.H. Lawrence, Toni Morrison, Margaret Atwood, Ian McEwan, Salman Rushdie, Haruki Murakami, George Orwell, and Gabriel Garcia Marquez. And of course, family values crusaders like Bill O’Reilly, Newt Gingrich and Lynn Cheney at least make illusions to our naughty-parts in their forays into literature.

But, as readers point out, it’s about the children!

What on earth is this? Now this lady wants to turn a kid’s book into an explicit anatomy lesson? What for exactly? What happened to simply asking your parents about various body parts? This is completely unacceptable material for a children’s book as anybody with any average amount of common sense should know. I will ask our local libraries to ban this book from their shelves. Tell her to confine scrotal literature to her own family library.

Other readers wondered why the dog couldn’t have been bitten on the leg instead of the naughty place. So here are my questions: Why are some body parts considered totally taboo? Why is a bite on the scrotum an “explicit anatomy lesson” while a bite on the finger would go unnoticed? Why is the scrotum so much more controversial than the leg? After all, in many cultures, legs are considered quite sexual, and showing too much of them –or covering them with pants instead of a skirt — is scandalous. Little boys have scrota. It doesn’t sexualize children to use the anatomically correct word for a part of their body in a totally non-sexual situation. Teachers and librarians don’t even have to explain the sexual purpose of the scrotum if they don’t want to, any more than they have to explain the sexual purpose of the lips or the hands or the tongue. But half the class already knows it’s there, and the other half probably has a pretty good idea — ain’t nothing wrong with naming it. Why is the word itself controversial?

We have one of the highest teen pregnancy rates in the world. We have incredibly high STI rates. We far exceed other developed Western nations in our abortion rate (although countries where abortion is illegal and “pro-life” social policies are the norm pretty consistently beat us). Our knee-jerk anti-sex prudishness has very real social consequences, and they’re more wide-spread than banning books. The far right faction that opposes accurate sexual health education and any sort of rational response to human nature is a small minority in this country, but they are extremely vocal, and they have a whole lot of influence. The media focus on this book seems disproportionate, but it is evidence of a larger cultural battle between those who support science, human rights, sexual freedom, bodily autonomy, intellectualism, and proven solutions to social problems, and those who oppose all of those things. A minority of authoritarian, Puritanical librarians and parents have succeeded in banning this book from several libraries. People who share their views have succeeded in teaching students medically inaccurate, sexist and irresponsible abstinence-only “education, putting them in very real physical danger — 95% of people in this country have sex before marriage, and curriculum which boils down to “Don’t do it you filthy slut” isn’t going to be particularly helpful throughout these students’ lives (it’s also worth noting that a whole lot of people still value planning their pregnancies even after marriage).

Yes, this is silly, manufactured outrage over a word. But it’s also a microcosm of something that is very, very wrong with this country.

*Yes, this conversation did actually happen.


34 thoughts on Protect the Children: Hide Your Dictionary

  1. Ms. Nilsson, reached at Sunnyside Elementary School in Durango, Colo., said she had heard from dozens of librarians who agreed with her stance. “I don’t want to start an issue about censorship,” she said. “But you won’t find men’s genitalia in quality literature.”

    “At least not for children,” she added.

    Did she miss the part where it happens to a dog? Unless I’m very confused, and the dog was running around with a man’s balls attached to it.

    In which case, yes, I would have to agree that a dog that’s had a human’s scrotum attached to it is not a suitable subject for children’s literature. Unless you’re teaching The Island of Dr. Moreau in third grade.

  2. Well, I’ll have you know I used to look up dirty words in the dictionary when I was a kid! So therefore we MUST ban all dictionaries (looking up “penis” for me, not for thee!).

    But yeah, this is, like all book-burning crusades, pretty pathetic.

  3. Since I’m in mod, I’ll mention that there was a brouhaha on a wedding website I used to frequent because one poster put up pictures of her ultrasound and joked that it was so early you could see her uterus more clearly than the fetus.

    Apparently “uterus” is a filthy dirty ohmigodhowdareyouspeakthatinpublic word, judging by the shitstorm that erupted. It was especially to women who’d actually had children, which really puzzled me. Did their doctors anesthetize them through the whole pregnancy so their ears wouldn’t be sullied with the “U” word?

  4. I have a son who is in the third grade. I can assure this woman all third-grade boys have noticed that they have a scrotum and most will discuss it at some length. Farts are still more interesting, but the other stuff is a big hit, too. Of course, the ones who know what a “scrotum” is are almost certainly from more-educated families. The rest, well, they use words I refuse to admit I know.

  5. Although I agree with your larger points, I do kind of agree that third grade teachers (like my mom) shouldn’t have to explain all of this to kids and then deal with their parents. Most of the parents my mom deals with sound like they’re great, but there are always a few who seem to have no purpose in life other than harassing the school staff. Teachers are underpaid to begin with and usually working for administrators who are more chickenshit than John Edwards. So, in a tactical sense, I kind of agree with the decision. But, again, I agree with your larger points.

    One other point against the book: the last thing I want to think about is some damn rattlesnake biting my freakin’ gnards, and I have to think it would be even more traumatic for young boys.

  6. I know book banning is nothing new, but I think this is part of the neocon plan to have an infantile populace that can’t think, can’t talk, is intellectually and creatively bereft, and so on. I agree with critics of No Child Left Behind who say it’s stifling even the ability of people to think critically — teachers whose only directive is to ‘teach to the test’ — and that this is politically motivated. (We don’t want to enable radical dissent by having people who ask questions.)

  7. Although I agree with your larger points, I do kind of agree that third grade teachers (like my mom) shouldn’t have to explain all of this to kids and then deal with their parents.

    I understand the angry parents part, but how much explanation does it take to say, “‘Scrotum’ is the scientific word for part of a boy’s body. Most other male mammals, like dogs, have one, too.” Done, and done.

    Though given that parents are running around suing for pretty much anything that comes out of a teacher’s mouth these days, I understand your wariness.

  8. But you can’t just dismiss their outrage. You have to sit down and have a meeting with them after school, and pretend to take them seriously. Then they hold a grudge, the principal sells you out to shut them up, etc., etc.

  9. As I child I had a book that had the story of the Emperor’s New Clothes and the image of the Emperor showed a tiny cartoon willy as he paraded through town. My mom was totally okay with me reading the book at home but one day I took the book to school because we had a free reading period. She caught me in the car and politely explained to me that other student’s parents might not appreciate the reading material and that we did things differently in our household.

    Later in high school one of the teachers was hanging out in the library with us and she was reading a teen mag (don’t remember the name but it was like a poor girl’s Seventeen) and they had an article called “The Day in the Life of a Boy’s Penis” and she went ape shit over it, getting the mag banned from the school, though no one had complained before or even about that one issue. It all came down to she didn’t want HER daughter to read it.

    I’d like to think for parent’s like this, who want to keep their kids sheltered from the world, they need to home school their kids. And then never take them outside of the yard either.

  10. Ethan has no idea what a scrotum is, but he thinks it’s really funny to kick his inflatable Spiderman in the balls.

    And no, I did not teach him that.

  11. What’s this about teachers not explaining “scrotum” to their class? I started sex ed in third grade. Well, it could’ve been fourth grade, but they all blur together now.

  12. “Hey, kids: there’s something attached to your body that’s so dirty and awful and wrong that it’s dangerous for you to even hear its name!” Yeah, that’s healthy. Reminds me of Carrie.

    Also, what Tara said.

  13. I was actually discussing this story with my eight-and-a-half-year-old daughter earlier, who is a total biology geek.

    I said, “Well, I think it’s just silly. It’s just a part of the body. They wouldn’t be complaining if it said ‘knees’ or ‘fingers’ or ‘lips’.”

    She said, “It depends which lips.”

    I said, “Good answer.”

  14. “I don’t want to start an issue about censorship,” she said. “But you won’t find men’s genitalia in quality literature.”

    Obviously, someone’s never read Lady Calisthenia Pennywhistle’s classic The Pressed Male Genitalia Book . . .

  15. Obviously, someone’s never read Lady Calisthenia Pennywhistle’s classic The Pressed Male Genitalia Book . . .

    When you start reading it it’s a paperback, but after a chapter or two it’s a hardcover.

  16. I’m a 4th grade teacher of ESL students. If the word “scrotum” came up in reading class, they’d ask me what it was. I’d say it was part of a male’s private parts. They’d say, “oh,” and we’d keep reading.

    DRAMA.

  17. I remember that in Gr. 1, we had this presentation about where our private parts were, what they were called, and more importantly, to tell an adult we trusted if someone touched us inappropriately there. I question the ability of all these parents to protect their children if they want their kids to remain completely ignorant about their bodies.

    But I agree with Heraclitus. I’m afraid of snakes, and if I was a little boy, I would have nightmares about being bitten down there for weeks. I guess in my case, it wouldn’t help if the story was about a leg, though.

  18. Or indeed In the Night Kitchen.
    Indeed is right! I had entirely forgotten about that (as a kid, I entirely missed the whole naked-little-kid aspect, as it was rather overshadowed by the kitchen city and freaky Oliver Hardy-looking guys). No doubt Ms. Nilsson is one of the people adding white-out ‘diapers’ to library copies mentioned in that wikipedia entry . . . {shakes head in disbelief}

    When you start reading it it’s a paperback, but after a chapter or two it’s a hardcover.
    *Snort*! Ledasmom, did you ever hear the one about the mohel (or moyel; Jewish ritual circumciser) who gave his son a handmade wallet as a 18th birthday gift? The son’s disappointed, but his dad assures him that it’s no ordinary wallet – rub it, and it turns into a suitcase . . .

  19. You think this is bad, you should see the contortions some people go through to avoid the word ‘clitoris’. (I actually had a left-wing activist, hippie-dippie Oregonian tell me that she didn’t see any point in teaching her stepdaughter the C-word because, like, she probably wouldn’t even notice it until she was older.

  20. i agree with prairielily, how are kids supposed to tell someone they trust if something happens to them, when they’re scared to say the names of things that may have been violated?
    if the kid is old enough to read the word, they are old enough to be told what it is (also the case with hooha monologues). especially when the child doing the questioning is of the sex to *have* the special parts in question.
    and if a teacher doesn’t want to answer the question, they should not read the book with the class, but it shouldn’t be taken out of the libraries.

  21. Kind of an unrelated story, but when I was growing up we lived in Tennessee, and would regularly drive through Georgia to visit relatives in Florida. Georgia highway signs have a rather . . . evocative image of a peach of them, and my dad always jokingly called them “Georgia Scrotum Peaches.” In fact, he did this so frequently that I sincerely believed that it was a breed of peaches native to Georgia, since I hadn’t heard the word scrotum in any other context. I remember coming back from summer vacation in 1st grade and getting up in front of the class to do my “What I did over the summer” report and mentioning Georgia Scrotum Peaches. My teacher looked shocked, but the kids didn’t know what was going on, and I had an extremely enlightening discussion with my parents that evening . . . This is still a favorite story at family gatherings.

  22. Thankfully, I can just laugh at this kind of absurd prudery.

    Mind you, I encounter plenty of other kinds, but this particular book-burning mentality isn’t very common here in Australia (so far). For authors, things are a lot hairier … as it were … in the US.

  23. Although I agree with your larger points, I do kind of agree that third grade teachers (like my mom) shouldn’t have to explain all of this to kids and then deal with their parents.

    I think a distinction needs to be made here – removal from a teacher’s curriculim and removal from a school library are very different things. If a third-grade teacher doesn’t want to explain what a scrotum is to their class, they can just use a different book. But removal from the school library on the off chance that a child might check out the book, read the passage and make their parents uncomfortable by asking what a scrotum is – that’s a much more severe step to take.

  24. I’m shocked but not surprised by this attitude of imposed ignorance. I plan on comprehensive sex ed for my children — at home, screw the school and all its make-nice to conservatives. Before the proper place of sex in relationships, before the reproductive biology, is the basic anatomy. Children have bodies, the bodies have parts, the parts have names. My pre-school age son knows perfectly well what his penis is. He knows to clean it in the tub, to dry it with a towel, and to keep it pointed down in his pull-up at night so it doesn’t leak. If he has questions, I’ll answer them.

    I am not willing to consider other approaches reasonable.

  25. I recently had the “scrotum” discussion with my 5-year-old son. I have boys, and they are very attached to their male equipment (pun intended). Farts are funnier–and considered a weapon by the males with whom I reside.

  26. “I don’t want to start an issue about censorship,” she said. “But you won’t find men’s genitalia in quality literature.”

    Well, except in the absence of another suitable bookmark.

  27. Jill, some filtering software would already have blocked this site for containing the obscene phrase “National Organization for Women”.

    Despicable, ain’t it? But at least the filter-creators were nice enough to display their real agenda.

    Lizard, LOL. My brother came up with that gag when he was in the third grade — as an explanation of the job performed by the king’s “page”. Nowadays, he writes filtering software.

  28. Very nice article.

    Oh Land of the free. You must be very lucky if you do not have any other problems.

    “Where they burn books, they will end in burning human beings.” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book-burning) – When will they ever learn?

    Greetings from Europe.

    P.S.: I love your word “weewee” – yes!

  29. I learned about anatomy and reproduction when I was young by reading my parents’ big read AMA Family Medical Guide. (I was a somewhat precocious, nerdy sort of kid, and I was curious.) At this point in my life, I thank my lucky stars that the only thing my mom said when she found out was “Ask me if you have any questions.”

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