No, seriously.
A NASA astronaut who drove hundreds of miles to confront a romantic rival, wearing diapers on the journey so that she would not have to stop to use the restroom, appeared in court today facing charges that included attempted kidnapping, and was ordered released on $15,500 bond. . . .
The Orlando police allege that Mrs. Nowak drove 950 miles from Houston to Orlando — wearing adult diapers — and disguised herself in a dark wig, glasses and trench coat to confront Ms. Shipman in the parking lot of Orlando International Airport, according to a police affidavit. Mrs. Nowak considered her a rival for the affections of a fellow astronaut, Bill Oefelein, according to the affidavit.
The Orlando police said that Mrs. Nowak followed Ms. Shipman to a parking lot at the airport, where Ms. Shipman entered her car. Mrs. Nowak approached the car window and tried to open the door. When Ms. Shipman would not open the door, Mrs. Nowak began to cry, the police said. Ms. Shipman cracked the window, and Mrs. Nowak sprayed pepper spray into the vehicle.
And my favorite:
She later told police, “that was stupid,” according to the affidavit.
Ya think?
Check out what she packed for the trip (other than adult diapers and pepper spray):
During a check of the parking lot, an officer followed Mrs. Nowak and watched her throw away a bag containing the wig and a BB gun. They also found a steel mallet, a 4-inch folding knife, rubber tubing, rubber gloves, $600 in cash, love letters — all in bags and in her car, the police said.
Way back in the early 90s, when I worked at a newspaper in Connecticut, there was a trial going on just over the border in Massachusetts involving a murder that had come out of a love triangle in which a chimney sweep and a coconut bra figured prominently. But I think astronauts, pepper spray and adult diapers beat that for sheer weirdness.