And for some reason, the fine folks at Charmin have decided that YOU deserve APPLAUSE for pooping!
They have a staff – who all stand in the middle of this tiled space. They are all wearing latex gloves, and they are all incredibly cheery. Like Mickey Mouse Club cheery. And the line slowly moves forward – and people come out of the bathrooms – and people go in … but here’s the worst part. Whenever anyone emerges from the bathroom – all of the staff goes nuts. Cheering, shouting, a cacophony of voices, “WHOOOOO!” So you, who have just pooped, have to stroll through that congratulatory mayhem, just trying to move on to make your matinee. I gotta give it to that staff. They were completely enthusiastic. But there was something so unbelievably fucked up about the entire thing. Oh – and each bathroom is “cleaned” after each patron. One person comes out of the bathroom and is greeted with cheers of congratulations from the Charmins staff. (And some of the people in line got into it and cheered as well. There was a group dynamic going on that was SO not what my bathroom-self needed. I go to the bathroom and it’s a private affair. I don’t need you to CHEER when I am successful in this particular venture. I’m fine, I know what I’m doing, I’ve got it down, thanks. Thanks. No, really, thanks. But there was no way out of the line. You could not escape.) So – then after one of the rooms is vacated, one of the staff goes in, shuts the door – does their little clean-up job (cleaning up the sprinkling, I would imagine – and flushing if the first flush was not complete) and then comes out, cheering and whooping that yet another bathroom is ready. I gotta hand it to those people. I would so have a hard time staring at shit streaks all day, and then be CHEERFUL about it.) So people would walk towards the vacant bathroom, surrounded by the staff whooping like wild Indians, embarrassed smiles on their faces. And when you emerge from the bathroom – it’s like you have walked out onto a stage. There is no privacy. You walk out of one of those doors – and the entire line is right there facing you – and 5 people are all jumping up and down, cheering your amazing accomplishment.
Seriously, read the whole thing. I’m going to have to go to this place just to experience it.
(Via)