The Church of England has released a report which finds that traditional wedding vows (you know, those ones with “obey” in them), combined with male-centric views of religion and the Bible and God, could be harmful to women and encourage violence against them.
The report said that clergy preparing couples for marriage should stress that men and women are of equal worth, and that the use of the word “obey” could be seen as an outdated view of the status of women.
The report said that the Church had, intentionally or unintentionally, reinforced abuse, failed to challenge abusers and intensified the suffering of survivors, often through “misguided” or distorted versions of Christian belief.
If people saw their relationship with God in terms of domination and submission, and uncritically used masculine imagery to characterise God, they could validate “overbearing and ultimately violent patterns of behaviour”, it said.
Victims could often see themselves as deserving abuse and could be persuaded, in a spirit of “self-denial”, to forgive the perpetrator and not take action against them. The report, entitled Responding to Domestic Abuse, Guidelines for Pastoral Responsibility, encourages churches to become places of safety for survivors of domestic abuse. The origin of the wedding vows used in Anglican services can be traced back to the Book of Common Prayer, as authorised by Henry VIII.
Good show, Church of England! Now, how about not just offering an alternative version, but omitting “obey” from the vows altogether?
Via Jules.