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If Doug Was a Guard Cat

Lauren

Dog Bites King’s Bear:

A guard dog has ripped apart a collection of rare teddy bears, including one once owned by Elvis Presley, during a rampage at a children’s museum.

“He just went berserk,” said Daniel Medley, general manager of the Wookey Hole Caves near Wells, England, where hundreds of bears were chewed up Tuesday night by the 6-year-old Doberman pinscher named Barney.

Barney ripped the head off a brown stuffed bear once owned by the young Presley during the attack, leaving fluffy stuffing and bits of bears’ limbs and heads on the museum floor.

See Barney the bear killer look awkward here.


Don’t look at my laundry, look at Pablo’s long whiskers.

Doug Hates the Blue Ball

Pablo may hate the blue ball, but Doug really hates the blue ball. Doug sits on his orange chair and plots the death of the blue ball and Elvis’s baby binky.

[story via Cinnamon]

17 thoughts on If Doug Was a Guard Cat

  1. “We have asked the security firm not to send us that dog again,” Mr Medley said. “I really don’t want to see anything bigger than a Jack Russell.”

    Better not get a Jack Russell. Those things are CRAZY.

  2. If I was locked in a room every night with a bunch of stupid stuffed animals, I’d probably do the same. Why people treasure things over people always astounds me anyway.

  3. What, kate, you’d rather they kept a museum full of stuffed people? Who knows; the dog might have done the same if he were guarding the folks in a shelter. Ow.

    Hell, it’s not as if the damned things were edible, or this were the Vatican.

  4. Wookey Hole Caves? That sounds like a place you’d go to perform lewd acts with Star Wars characters.
    I wonder if I can borrow the dog. My kids have way too many stuffed animals.

  5. One of my lasting members of childhood is of one of my sisters being very upset when our dog chewed her stuffed koala (and left the rest of our koalas alone for some reason).

    Then there was the Francie doll who wound up with tooth marks in her abdomen.

  6. When my dog was a puppy, he used the single Ken doll in our collection of Barbies as a chew toy. Ken lost both hands and a foot.

    The doll is still referred to as Amputee Ken.

  8. Good dog! I’ve never understood the appeal of teddy bears myself.

    When I was a kid, our dog chewed up a couple of my toys: the Storm Trooper lost a foot, and a dinosaury kind of beast lost part of its jaw (we were able to reglue that, but the Trooper has been a gimp ever since).

  9. My childhood dachsund regularly chewed up my toys, and was especially vicious towards my favorite bear. I’m convinced it was jealousy.

  10. My childhood dog used to tear the faces off my stuffed animals, except for one bear that she used to carry around when she was in heat.

    Dogs chew stuff. However, it should not take 10 minutes for a professional handler to get a dog under control. Something tells me the guy wasn’t watching the dog.

  11. I assumed the dog himself was dropped off and left in charge. One of those Quis custodiet ipso custodiacavecanem? things. Like an indoor junkyard dog. Maybe I need to re-read the article.

    Is this black-cat sabotage? Is the dog a closet Wob? Uh-oh, they’re organizing.

  13. We had a little brown plastic dog that came with Holly Hobby, whose tail got chewed off somewhere along the line. Except we never had an actual dog; my brother’s the one who gnawed it off.

  15. Oh, wow. I’d only read the article on Yahoo News, but this one has some priceless quotes:

    “Up to 100 bears were involved in the massacre,” Daniel Medley, general manager of Wookey Hole Caves, said last night. “It was a dreadful scene.”

    “…He sent around one of his men this morning to collect the body.”

    Mr. Medley: They are TEDDY BEARS. Not people.

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