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No Necking in Kansas

Crazy Kansas Attorney General Phil Kline is at it again. First, he was subpoenaing women’s private medical records. Then, he was attempted to ban Medicaid funding of abortion and defined “life” as beginning at conception. But he’s not finished.

But striving for the 2006 pro-life trifecta, Kline is also embroiled in a lawsuit over the mandatory reporting of all teen snogging in Kansas. The trial, which opened on Monday in federal district court, surrounds Kline’s 2003 advisory opinion on the state’s mandatory reporting law. While Kansas is one of 12 states in which sex under a certain age—16, 17, or 18—is always presumed illegal, regardless of consent or the age difference between the partners, Kline’s written interpretation of Kansas’ reporting law makes it the only state requiring that doctors, nurses, counselors, and all other care providers report—as abuse—any sexual interaction between teens under 16. Failure to report is a misdemeanor. Under Kline’s view, professionals must report even when the sex is consensual, committed with partners their age, and where there is no suspicion of injury. The plaintiffs who filed suit—a group of doctors, nurses, and counselors—contend that under Kline’s policy, even evidence of teen necking must be reported.

This could mean finally putting a stop to the wanton actions of such teen harlots as Betty, Veronica, and Sandra Dee.

In their complaint, the health care providers, represented by the Center for Reproductive Rights, urge that while they support the reporting of all suspected sexual abuse of minors, the reporting of all nonabusive consensual sexual activity threatens their confidential relationships and would have a chilling effect on teen efforts to seek healthcare—including lifesaving HIV testing, birth control, and counseling. The attorney general’s office argues that there is a legitimate state interest in stopping child abuse.

This is absolutely ridiculous. Being under 18 doesn’t negate your privacy rights, and doesn’t do away with doctor-patient confidentiality. Obviously abusive situations should be reported, but mandating that doctors file a report because Jane was making out with Steve seems a little over-reaching.

Of course, it’s not really about protecting kids from abuse at all. It’s about going after abortion providers.

Finally, Kline takes the not-illogical position that since all consensual teen sex is criminal, all teen abortion records provide vital evidence of that crime. Why, then, doesn’t he subpoena all hospital records for evidence of all teen births? Is it possible that he is less interested in pursuing the real crime of teen sex than the non-crime of abortion? In two and a half years Kline’s sweeping assertion that all health-care providers must report all teen intimate activity has morphed into demands for reports of consensual teenage sex that result in abortions. Which leads to the conclusion that the Kansas reporting law isn’t intended to increase reports of child abuse, but to increase reports of teen sex—specifically from abortion providers. Which means that this law—along with Kline’s attempts to subpoena state abortion records and force Kansas doctors performing abortions on girls under 14 to preserve fetal tissue—is part of the attorney general’s single-minded use of his vast authority in the sole interest of hassling Kansas’ abortion providers.

Kline has vociferously argued that every abortion is murder, even though the law of the land holds otherwise. That is why he trusts his own judgment about what constitutes criminal activity over the judgment of the health professionals who actually see and treat it. One nevertheless wonders whether he should really be using all of his resources with no law enforcement purpose in sight beyond fishing through the files of state abortion clinics.


34 thoughts on No Necking in Kansas

  1. Der Fuhrer Kline:

    “Ignoring the hickey is a dangerous precedent to set in our modern society.”

    The clarion call for Kansassans: Remember, only you can prevent hickeys!

  2. I think the chastity belt movement should be born right here, right now. let’s get started. we need a slogan….

    Down with hot teen sex!

  3. Pingback: Pharyngula
  4. Heck, why doesn’t he just bring back death by stoning for adultury? Oh, wait, a law about that would affect him and his friends. “Sex is bad” laws are always for _other_ people.

  5. I don’t think it’s just about getting at abortion, actually. I think it’s about imposing a worldview, a belief that all sexual contact outside of marriage is wrong.

  6. To quote Doris Anderson: “Canadian historians Angus McLaren and Arlene Tigar McLaren, in their important book, The Bedroom and the State, estimate that 4,000 to 6,000 Canadian women died from illegal abortions between 1926 and 1947. The primary cause of death was typically infection (especially septicaemia or peritonitis); hemorrhaging from a ruptured uterus, drug poisoning and embolisms were other lethal side effects of illegal abortion.” (from _No choice: Canadian women tell their stories of illegal abortion_, ISBN 0-9683796-0-5). That’s in a population of 8 – 12 million.

  7. Shouldn’t doctor’s in Kansas either refuse to see patients who are underage due to their legal inability to protect their confidentiality or read them something like the Miranda warning when they come in?

  8. The theory is as follows:

    Teenagers should not be involved in intimate contact of a sexual nature until they are, oohh not teenagers anymore. You know around 20-25 and married to a person of the opposite sex, in a church not in Las Vegas, by a pastor not Elvis.

    So any physical signs of such promiscuity is the door by which the fascist AG of KS seeks to harass and intimidate those immoral chillens by making one big ass assumption. That said signs should all be treated as possible sexual abuse.

    If this line of thought is followed certain groups of professionals are required by law to report said signs of sexual activity (i.e. doctors, nurses, school officials) as they are to report any signs of physical abuse (i.e. cigarette burns, and such)..

    Godwins Law is now quaint.

  9. Slightly off-topic, but I think that’s the first time I’ve seen “snog” in American media. That makes me happy.

    Back on topic, missing from the Slate article is AG Kline’s directive that the evidence must be photographically documented, preferably several times. Especially useful will be PI photos of the actual crimes, though pictures of suction marks on the neck and breasts will also work…

  10. Why only teenagers? Why not ban ALL reproduction, except for him, his wife, his mistresses if he has any, and others like him? It works on all levels: Sex out of wedlock is banned for the “normal” people who can’t be trusted to act morally, and abortion is ended, with an additional bonus: No deaths of sperm cells! After all, if a fertilized egg is worthy of the right to live, surely we should protect the rights of those poor gametes, which are slaughtered in huge numbers during every act of reproduction! Plus, the gene pool is cleansed of anyone who doesn’t follow a literal interpertation of the Bible, to the extant that they ignore the real world and both moral and common sense.

  11. Plus, the gene pool is cleansed of anyone who doesn’t follow a literal interpertation of the Bible to the extant that they ignore the real world and both moral and common sense.

    Oops! The comma after “Bible” in my original post seems to skew my meaning! It makes it look like non-Bible literalists lack common sense, etc, instead of the other way around! I really should stop using commas so freely!

  12. And what exactly is the ‘evidence’ that a boy had sex?

    Sounds like a very ‘one sided’ law to me…

  13. Mothers of Kansas!
    Heed the warning before it’s too late!
    Watch for the tell-tale sign of corruption!
    The moment your son leaves the house,
    Does he rebuckle his knickerbockers below the knee?
    Is there a nicotine stain on his index finger?
    A dime novel hidden in the corn crib?
    Is he starting to memorize jokes from Capt.
    Billy’s Whiz Bang?
    Are certain words creeping into his conversation?
    Words like ‘swell?”
    And ‘so’s your old man?”
    Well, if so my friends,
    Ya got trouble!

  14. They should also ban school dance. Conception occurs at a shy/awkward bit of eye contact across the gym.

  15. First Intelligent Design, now this. There’s something creepy about Kansas and the excessive interest some authorities there have in what the young ‘uns are being taught and how they act.
    Hey Phil, just to be consistent how about if you chase down a few known adulterers, too!

  16. Teenagers should not be involved in intimate contact of a sexual nature until they are, oohh not teenagers anymore. You know around 20-25 and married to a person of the opposite sex, in a church not in Las Vegas, by a pastor not Elvis.

    Kline’s made it pretty clear he doesn’t care if teenagers are having sex as long as they’re married, even to someone old enough to be considered to be committing statutory rape.

  17. Wait, if it’s abuse when two teenagers have sex, who is the abuser, who is the abusee? And as owlbear points out, when a boy has sex, where’s the evidence? If what randomlib says is true about photographic evidence being preferred, sounds to me like a great way for nasty pedophile judges to get to look at child porn!

  18. “mandating that doctors file a report because Jane was making out with Steve seems a little over-reaching.”

    Hey, hey, my wife reads this blog, c’mon!

  19. I just realized, the religious inverts have not gone far enough. Life does not begin at conception, it begins at erection.

    Once I get the hots for some babe, my sperm + her eggs = a healthy baby. That little soul is committed; and anything that interferes with it’s birth is defying the will of God. If I let my respect for my marriage or the babe yelling “get away from me you pervert” thwart my sacred urges, I’ve just killed a baby!

    This must be true – Why else would al these churches be trying to ban contraceptives?

    Obviously Phil Kline is doing the work of Satan here, murdering all those unborn innocents, who would otherwise be born to teenage mothers and ultimately fill Kansas’ jails and Welfare rolls. Where’s the Church when you need it?

  20. “Kline’s made it pretty clear he doesn’t care if teenagers are having sex as long as they’re married, even to someone old enough to be considered to be committing statutory rape.”

    Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

  21. stitch626:
    “I just realized, the religious inverts have not gone far enough. Life does not begin at conception, it begins at erection.”

    AHHAHHAHHAHA!! Greatness.

  22. I think that every heath care provider should, as a matter of course, ask if all teenagers they treat if they have kissed their parents (goodbye, goodnight) over the last week, and then report it. That would give the AG something to chase after in all his spare time.

  23. o.0

    Wait a minute isn’t… no, it’s Oklahoma that was being overrun with lesbian teenagers, that’s right.

    It’s so hard to keep all their bullshit straight.

    The actual, concrete consequence of legislating “morality” is the literal criminilization of anyone who disagrees with what you believe to be the One True Way.

    If that’s not tyranny, I don’t know what is.

  24. Somehow I also suspect this policy will be overzealously enforced when it comes out (oops) that JOHN was making out with Steve.

  25. Make no mistake about it – this is completely about CONTROL. All the white fundy males are the same – they fear losing control to any minority – including women. Women thinking and acting for themselves – showing any independence – is threatening to them. We have to be contained and controlled – mastered and shown that we must toe their line!

    Poor little man – it must be painful to him to be so desperately inadequate as a man. Otherwise – he wouldn’t be so concerned about controlling other people’s lives.

  26. When are we going to start prosecuting federal, state and local government officials that use tax money to pursue their own religious agenda? Isn’t that classic misappropriation of funds?

  27. eldgie Says:
    February 4th, 2006 at 3:00 pm
    Wait, if it’s abuse when two teenagers have sex, who is the abuser, who is the abusee? And as owlbear points out, when a boy has sex, where’s the evidence? If what randomlib says is true about photographic evidence being preferred, sounds to me like a great way for nasty pedophile judges to get to look at child porn!

    Perhaps the “mutual combat” statute/s would apply.

  28. “Mommy, what are privacy rights?”
    “Dear, when Dad and I were younger we had a thing called the ‘Bill of Rights’…”

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