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New York State of Mind

Jill

I love this city, I really do. But seriously, what the hell is going on lately? First, we have the bedbugs. Then, there’s paying $430 a foot for air — in my neighborhood. Come on now — we really don’t need any more assholes living up here. Cindy Sheehan is riding the 6 train (sadly, I didn’t spot her myself, despite riding that godforsaken train at least twice a day). And now there’s this: the cops are going after the East Village and the Lower East Side, my favorite neighborhood. (You should ignore the picture that the Voice posts, as it appears to have been taken outside Libation, which is perhaps the worst lounge in the entire city and has no business on the LES).

On November 12, a combination of police, fire, and health and buildings inspectors (the dreaded MARCH—Multi-Agency Response to Community Hotspots) raided eight bars around the East Village, issuing 79 violations to six of them: Babel, Horus, Sutra, the Library, Rififi (Cinema Classics), and Rue B; Remote and Bar None escaped unticketed.

Not that I wish anyone harm, but if you’re gonna ticket someone, ticket fucking Bar None, NYU frat-boy hang-out and arguably the worst bar in the entire city (worse than Libation. Perhaps worse than Josie Woods and Finnerty’s). They have a dance floor, and if they don’t have a cabaret license, then I’d imagine that’s a problem (Yes, I got suckered into going there once. I was young and impressionable, and I learned my lesson). The cops should ticket the entirety of 3rd Avenue while they’re at it, and fine them extra for every guy in the bar wearing a TKE sweatshirt, every girl wearing Uggs, and every NYU freshman with a bad Jersey ID. Just leave the Dark Room, Max Fish, and the rest of the LES alone.

Plus, Staten Island still exists. Christ. At least there’s this.

In non-news, some people in the South still hate us and don’t want us at their universities. But they still love the confederate flag and mediocre wealthy white students.

35 thoughts on New York State of Mind

  1. Plus, Staten Island still exists.

    I forget, is the Nascar track going there or Long Island?

    In non-news, some people in the South still hate us and don’t want us at their universities.

    We don’t hate New Yorkers, we just wish y’all wouldn’t come down here and then work up an attitude about how we’re doing everything wrong. After all, we don’t come up there and tell you how to run gay nightclubs or the mafia.

  3. Fuck these jokers, move to Canada. Specifically Montreal. Gorgeous town, damn near as cool as New York, way classier. Gay marriage is already legal here, and abortion rights are not at all under threat.

    Some would say, unless the Conservatives win the election. That will never happen, but even so, they wouldn’t have the power or ball to ban gay marriage or restrict access to abortion.

  4. I’m going to go ahead and be both tangental and a bit of an asshat.

    the flag arguments – and that freaking mace – are ideological wankery, but the general question re: southern universities is pretty flipping complicated. Racism and enslavement of human beings was, after all, widely popular for a very, very long time. Taking down the flag is par for the course when the army it represented was crushed a century and a half ago, but what about the Confederate – or plain racist jerk – professors and leaders and the things named after them? It gets sort of hard to find founders and ancestors who weren’t racist jerks. I mean, hell, there are things named after my family that come from the bad old days. I understand not _lauding_ those opinions, but erasing history is not addressing it.

    Do we want students from New York at southern universities? … I mean, no offense on a personal level, but people from New York come here, drive badly, tell us we have no work ethic, and then carry on about our history of racism. I’m all about addressing the history of racism – and its pernicious modern consequences – but not until we get out on the table that, these days, New Jersey’s got more of a Klan problem than we do.

  5. David –

    Don’t be shy, c’mon up we have plenty of nightclubs you can help run…

    All you had to do was ask!

  6. p.s. both regions are, however, plagued with stupid fraternity bars. Sorry.

    My comment was worded a little strongly. Of course, if you needed to move to the South to escape the rapid privatization of air, you would be entirely welcome, as I’m sure you are a decent driver and can handle a more complicated analysis of social issues, at least as soon as you got over the culture shock. We have some lovely towns, and my favorite voting precinct in the world, at a consistent 88% blue.

  7. You know, when I moved to San Francisco, I thought I was moving to the only town in the world more insane than New York. But it’s been dissapointingly conservative lately. Our mayor has been actually downright sensible lately. Yeah, sure, he got in early on that gay marriage thing, but now everybody’s doing that. He needs to find something more radical or he’s going to give the rest of the country the impression that San Francisco no longer has the guts to stir up some outrage.

  8. Our mayor’s a Republican. Beat that for craziness in one of the most liberal cities in the country.

    As for the most insanely liberal places in America (and I mean that as a compliment), I nominate Portland, Oregon. It’s an amazing place.

  9. I like Atlanta, GA. I could see myself living there, although, granted, it is probably not the most representative area of the South. But from my (admittedly limited) experience with the South, I gather that there is a greater degree of positive cross-racial interaction there than there is in much of the Northeast.

  10. some people in the South still hate us and don’t want us at their universities. But they still love the confederate flag and mediocre wealthy white students.

    We don’t hate New Yorkers, Jill, we just feel contempt for certain people who would readily evict their rights to allow socialism a place to reside. It won’t work. The life you enjoy in NYC is a muffled existence; it’s not what was intended by those who attempted to erect a country on the foundation of freedom.

    Regarding your remark about “mediocre students,” I studied with a variety of people while being educated in the South, not all of whom could be considered sub-par by anyone’s standards (including New York University’s). Of course, the jokers were in attendence, surfing their parents’ dollar to graduation (or not), but you’ll find that most anywhere. I strongly advise you to word reactions more carefully. After all, you’ve always been outspoken on here concerning stereotyping.You know it’s not good to lump people into these seemingly safe, tidy categories. We’ve proven that it never works out–kinda like socialism.

    Word.

  11. Our mayor’s a Republican.

    Bloomberg doesn’t count. He was a liberal Democrat until 5 minutes before the 2001 election and has governed like one since.

    Portland, OR is absolutely beautiful.

  12. Jon, I believe the proper name is “Hot-lanta.”

    And you could see yourself living there, eh? This wouldn’t have anything to do with a particular lady-friend of yours who’s from there, would it?

    Portland, OR is absolutely beautiful.

    Communist.

  13. And you could see yourself living there, eh? This wouldn’t have anything to do with a particular lady-friend of yours who’s from there, would it?

    Well, yeah, that might have something to do with it. 🙂 Plus, the World of Coke is just off the hizook.

  14. Regarding your remark about “mediocre students,” I studied with a variety of people while being educated in the South, not all of whom could be considered sub-par by anyone’s standards (including New York University’s). Of course, the jokers were in attendence, surfing their parents’ dollar to graduation (or not), but you’ll find that most anywhere.

    Yeah, I agree — I definitely knew lots of spoiled, not-so-bright kids in college. And there are some great Southern schools, like Duke, UNC, and UT-Austin. Besides that, smart people go to school all over the place, not just to elite or well-known colleges. The “mediocre white students” was referring to the article I linked to, which says:

    It all seemed eminently sensible to university administrators looking to appeal beyond the privileged white children of the South, who have long been the university’s base, and become a more national, selective and racially diverse university.

    and

    Across the country, colleges are trying to reposition themselves to attract more high-quality students and raise their national profiles. But perhaps nowhere is this more challenging than in the South, where university officials often find themselves struggling to temper Confederate imagery without alienating alumni and donors determined to uphold their heritage.

    These ideas were criticized by some alumni in the name of “tradition” and not wanting people from New York and California to head down South in droves.

  16. Day-umn. Marksman lays it down.

    You know it’s not good to lump people into these seemingly safe, tidy categories. We’ve proven that it never works out–kinda like socialism.

    Word.

    I’m going to use that on a conservablog and watch the comment thread blow up.

  17. These ideas were criticized by some alumni in the name of “tradition” and not wanting people from New York and California to head down South in droves.

    Why would they ever do that?

    I kid, I kid.

    No one ever wants to come to Michigan. What, do we smell or something?

  18. No one ever wants to come to Michigan. What, do we smell or something?

    We didn’t want to say anything, but yes, of fish, overly regularly-worn long underwear, and (inexplicably) cilantro. Take a bath. Open a window. SOMEthing.

  19. I read the Times article… I have lots of friends who’ve gone to/taught at Sewanee — it’s the flagship school of the Episcopal Church after all. Lots of Southern courtliness, but the faculty is quite liberal/progressive, as are many of the students. Same thing at UVA Charlottesville — and certainly true at UT Austin. It’s the old alumni who are the problem, not the kids or the profs.

  20. The alumni are the problem? That’s not very humanistic of you, Hugo. Isn’t it their attitude that’s a problem, rather than their being? You know who else thought people were the problem? The Nazis, that’s who! Fascist.

    (Sorry. You’re such a warm, friendly and sensitive guy, I just can’t resist the urge to act as though you’re a conservative ogre like myself when you occasionally slip .)

  21. Fuck these jokers, move to Canada. Specifically Montreal. Gorgeous town, damn near as cool as New York, way classier. Gay marriage is already legal here, and abortion rights are not at all under threat.

    Only problem with Montreal is everyone there speaks Freedom. Toronto is a better choice, as they speak American (the winters are slightly less extreme, also).

  22. We don’t hate New Yorkers, Jill, we just feel contempt for certain people who would readily evict their rights to allow socialism a place to reside. It won’t work. The life you enjoy in NYC is a muffled existence; it’s not what was intended by those who attempted to erect a country on the foundation of freedom.

    Am I missing something? Or does socialism just not reside in the outer boroughs?

    No one ever wants to come to Michigan. What, do we smell or something?

    The first law school I got into was Tulane. Lots of offers from friends to come visit. Not so many when I wound up going to Michigan, just the football fans.

  24. and

    Only problem with Montreal is everyone there speaks Freedom.

    There’s talk of a strong Parti Quebecois majority in the province after this next election, though, and potentially another separatist referendum, no? One reason I might not move there right this instant is the movement back toward the precipice of secession. Not that Montreal isn’t beautiful — I really would be interested in relocating that way. Want to sponsor me? 🙂

  25. Shit. Above, I tried to quote this instead of “and”:

    Gay marriage is already legal here, and abortion rights are not at all under threat.

    Some would say, unless the Conservatives win the election. That will never happen, but even so, they wouldn’t have the power or ball to ban gay marriage or restrict access to abortion.

  26. re: Airspace

    At least they’re just paying for the square footage, not cubic. THAT could get seriously expensive, depending on how high they are building…

    /feeble attempt at geek humor (Sorry — I still haven’t had my daily caffeine quota yet.

    Out here, we call that sort of thing a “lot premium” since there isn’t a whole lot of looking over other buildings at the scenery going on here (yet); just people paying ridiculous sums of money to have an unobstructed view of whatever scenery is there.

  27. No one ever wants to come to Michigan. What, do we smell or something?

    We didn’t want to say anything, but yes, of fish, overly regularly-worn long underwear, and (inexplicably) cilantro. Take a bath. Open a window. SOMEthing.

    As a born-and-raised Michigander (I don’t like “Michiganian”), I will tell you, respectfully, to stuff it. 🙂 Our house smelled like apples.

    The first law school I got into was Tulane. Lots of offers from friends to come visit. Not so many when I wound up going to Michigan, just the football fans.

    Granted, Ann Arbor is no New Orleans, but as a proud University of Michigan alum, I love that town and always will. Not just for the football, although I have watched Michigan football since before I could walk.

    The state as a whole really does have a lot of nice areas. No, it doesn’t have the majestic beauty of a place like Colorado or Oregon, but we Midwesterners have modest tastes. Usually. 🙂

  29. No one ever wants to come to Michigan. What, do we smell or something?

    No, it is because Michigan is soo COLD in the winter. I know, I listen to weather reports out of South Bend… it seems when you cross the border the weather drops a good 20 degrees.

  30. marksman: You, out of my region!

    Freedom blah blah blah. I’m originally from the Appalachians, buddy, and I say bring us some freakin’ _zoning laws_ and state-sponsored health care.

  31. I’m originally from the Appalachians, buddy, and I say bring us some freakin’ _zoning laws_ and state-sponsored health care.

    You don’t generate the economic surplus to pay for them.

  33. And there are some great Southern schools, like Duke, UNC, and UT-Austin.

    UT-Austin? You’re already developing an attorney’s sense of humor.

  34. All those people who moved to Florida are buying summer homes in the Appalachians now. So actually, we do have tax revenue, we’re just too Freedom Oriented to use it.

  35. As far as the airspace thing goes, I can’t tell if people know this or not, but in case you don’t:

    “Air rights” refer to the rights to the space of air above a lot…and if you live in a condo or a co-op in any city, not just New York, you are paying for them. You don’t own the ground and you can’t knock down the improvements but, conversely, the person who owns the lot can’t knock your condo down from under you, because you have purchased the air rights.

    So there you have it.

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