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Upcoming workshop on S&M versus abuse in Chicago, February 12

Jill

An interesting event:

Beyond Consent: BDSM and Abuse

Presented by Sarah Sloane
SATURDAY, February 12, 2011
6:00 p.m. — 7:45 p.m.

Galleria Domain Two ( GD2 )
Chicago, Illinois
www.galleriadomain.org

RSVP preferred but not required
Open to All 18+ w/ID
FREE

Further details are here.

Posted in Sex

9 thoughts on Upcoming workshop on S&M versus abuse in Chicago, February 12

  3. I apologize in advance if this is a double-post, but I think my first comment was eaten by the ‘shitty internet connection’ monster:

    This reminds me that I should really go to a similar event in my own city, as the topic is one I want to hear discussed more often and more in depth, but I’m simply not getting that online. Instead, it’s just the rampant meme that’s so popular in most progressive and kink circles that BDSMers are way more into consent than the general population and talking about abuse within the community is just being anti-kink. Yeah, not true.

    Anyway, for everyone else who can’t go to this workshop, I’d like to offer the following link as one resource for identifying abuse in BDSM relationships:

    http://www.numenor.org/%7Egdw/psychologist/bdsm-vs-abuse.htm

  4. Friendly feedback – this is a really important topic, and no doubt an important workshop.

    There is a part of me that wishes that the first time I saw a Feministe post having to do with BDsm, it wasn’t something that had to do with abuse. It’s NOT the same thing… and there are so many other aspects of the issue, from rights, to sex worker issues, to kink/orientation issues, to basic freedoms, which, as a practitioner, I wish were covered more on feminist blogs.

  5. @Cha-Cha

    Aaaaand that’s exactly what I’m talking about when I say that anyone who brings up abuse in the BDSM community gets shot down.

    It’s not Jill’s fault if you’ve only just started reading Feministe; they’ve done numerous articles about different aspects of BDSM. I found this out just by putting those four letters in the little search bar up there.

  7. I’m sure there have been other posts re: BDsm on Feministe. I happen to have not seen them. This was the first one I saw. That’s all.

    And I wasn’t shooting anyone down. If you look at my comment, I said it was an important topic. And I mean that. ID-ing abuse in any relationship is SO important, and we need to know how to do it in the context of BDsm also.

    My personal experience, which is no doubt different from the experience of others, is that whenever I talk about my experiences and practice in BDsm, which have been a deeply healing and important part of my life, I always have to spend 15 minutes explaining why it’s not abuse. This has gotten sort of old, because I wish the general population was more educated about it. Undoubtedly, workshops like this help.

    If I may make an analogy: it’s not the same thing, but it feels a little like how every other time I come out as bisexual, somebody brings up HIV/AIDS. OF COURSE HIV/AIDS is an important topic. But when it comes up every other time I mention being bisexual, I start to feel a little… stereotyped. Can anyone feel me on that? Not exactly, but similarly, most of the time when I discuss BDsm casually, in my life, I end up having to have a conversation about abuse… and then I have to defend myself and point out that I am not an abuser. And I have been abused, so this is sort of painful, to say the least. I am NOT saying that conversations about abuse aren’t important. I’m saying that there are times that I wish the conversations I experience around BDsm were different.

    You know, I read this blog every couple days. When I say “friendly feedback”, I really mean that – I don’t mean, for example, “veiled criticism.” I’ve had a life experience that is, perhaps, different from that of others. But I can tell you, I’m not the only practitioner I know who feels frustrated with this.

    @ RD – I’m glad you think so. It hasn’t been my experience. I’ll keep reading.

  8. @ RD, just to make absolutely clear, in txt format I realize that could read as sarcasm. It’s not. Truly.

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