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FNTT Season 6: the Aww, You Made a “Go Make Me a Sandwich!” Joke edition

Jill

This is the last of the intro round of Feministe’s Next Top Troll, and we’ve saved the proudest misogynists for last. Be forewarned that their comments are nasty. If you can stomach it, vote for your favorite below the fold. Starting later this week, we’ll go into the second voting round to narrow down a winner.

A Man:

HAHA FUCKING FAT WOMEN, Men need their own shit and women need theirs too, like this site (dont know how the fuck i found it) is for girls. You ladies always want and want and nag, really get over yourselfs, fucking fat girls all proud and shit. i really honest to god love you cause you give me a reason to stop hateing scene bitches and hate you guys instead.

Misogynist and Proud of It:

I can see the faggoty whiteknights and lesbian hambeasts farting out your protests right now. Delicious tears, you worthless scum

Snoman:

I’ve never seen so many broads with their panties all bunched up because of some semi-sexist comments on other sites. Is this really the best way to spend your time? I hope you’re making all these comments on your laptops from your kitchens…


57 thoughts on FNTT Season 6: the Aww, You Made a “Go Make Me a Sandwich!” Joke edition

  4. Had to go with Snoman because he pulled out “broads” AND being in the kitchen in a single comment. I like to imagine that his next response had something to do with those dames wearing dresses to show off their gams.

  6. When you see a schmuck, maybe down on his luck,
    And he smells of Axe and vitriol.
    Call it dumb, call it clever
    Ah, but you can get odds forever
    That the guy’s only proving he’s got some gall,
    Some gall, some gall,
    The guy’s only proving he’s got some gall!

  7. I like misogynist and proud of it because I love poetry. Delicious tears, you worthless scum. Delicious tears, you worthless scum. Delicious tears, you worthless scum. Beautiful.

  8. I almost went with Misogynist for referencing “faggoty whiteknights”, but in the end had to go with A Man for thinking that calling us “fat” would upset us.

  9. Ooh, it’s 31 votes even for each of them so far! (I chose Snoman for the hackneyed ‘kitchen’ remark.)

  10. I voted for Snoman because the other two comments were incoherent enough that I wouldn’t rule out the possibility of a monkey typing them by accident.

  12. I went with A Man, because of the combination of capitalization and telling us that this site is for girls who are all proud and shit.

  13. I think they’re all pretty repugnant, but in the end, I chose A Man. Because as a (hot) fat chick, he tells me that I’m supposed to feel ugly and ashamed of the way I look. Right…

    Or maybe he just thinks Feministe authors/readers = Fat Woman = Atrocious Failure at Life. Because Jill, Cara, Sady, and all the other writers and readers OBVIOUSLY are pathetic wastes of space who should STFU already. *snark, of course – this is my first post, but I’ve been reading for about a year now and think all of you women are pretty fucking awesome! 🙂 *

    But perhaps my favorite thing about A Man’s post – he’s bitching and moaning about us bitching and moaning. In a woman’s space, where he admits each gender deserves a space to has out gender specific issues. The hypocrisy is adorable, really.

    Anyways, I look forward to the coming rounds. May the worst troll win!

  16. I chose “A Man” because he starts out insulting, then gets conciliatory, and then removes all doubt about his manly misogyny by ranking a taxonomy of women to hate. The spelling and capitalization errors caught my fancy as well.

  17. Ooh it’s like the British election, too close to call… will there be a (not very well) hung parliament???

  18. I chose A Man, both for the Username Fail (a little creativity, plz?) and the foaming-at-the-mouth rantypants-ness. What’s a “scene bitch”, anyway?

  19. I went with snoman because “broads who get their panties in a bunch” and the whole “typing from your laptops in the kitchen” were just too good to pass up

  20. Tough choice, as usual, but I’ll go with “A Man” for the awesome “fucking fat women”. And: that he found a reason to love “us” because “we” provide him with the opportunity to stop hating “other” women and start hating “us”. wtf?

  22. Now that I think about it, I wish I could go back and give Snoman another vote if only because I WISH I was in my kitchen typing this because that would mean that I’d be a famous authour by now instead of working in this office. Hehe.

    Rock on, Snoman, for keepin’ it real. 😛

  23. I’m having a shitty day, and ‘lesbian hambeasts’ made me laugh out loud while I have company, so it’s got to be that guy.

  24. I am possibly the most repulsed by Misogynist, and yet that’s who got my vote. Truly the most poetic, as a few people have pointed out already.

  25. It was a tough decision between A Man and Snoman, but I had to go with Snoman for the inherent hypocrisy of spending his time reading feminist sites for the purpose of lecturing us about wasting time. At least A Man tried to pretend he got here on accident, and that shows slightly more self-awareness.

  26. Misogynist and Proud of It, because the ones who admit it are the worst. Also, because he spelled “misogynist” correctly, which is much more than I expect from most trolls.

  27. Snoman for trivializing sexism and telling women how to spend their time. And also pulling out the old women in the kitchen chestnut. Typing on the kitchen in their laptops that, naturally, their husband bought for them?

    Snoman’s wife, typing and cooking in the kitchen, carrying his manly seed: “Honey, can you pick up some socks on the way home from work?”

    Snoman: “No, if you put socks on you won’t be a real woman anymore!”

  28. Misogynist for “lesbian hambeasts” alone. Hambeast! The creativity of the insult. Plus, when I protest, it is always in farts. I find that the most effective means of communication on feminist issues.

  30. A Man, for the sheer cryptic weirdness of his closing line:

    i really honest to god love you cause you give me a reason to stop hateing scene bitches and hate you guys instead.

    Who or what are “scene bitches”? My best guess is that they’re women he encounters in real life, and he finds it easier and more convenient to hate women on a website. Which would make Feministe a public service, of sorts.

  31. I went with Snoman because he saved his hate for all women, not just fat ones and lesbians. It’s harder to be offended by being called names that don’t bother me in the least.

  32. This one was tough. They each went all out to be the trolliest.

    Misogynist’s “delicious tears and hambeasts” was poetic, and A Man almost won me over with his pathetic gratitude at being able to hate women online as a respite from his nonstop hating of “scene bitches” who apparently reject him in real life.

    But in the end Snoman won my vote for the term “semi-sexist.”
    Very skillful minimizing. Yeah, so there’s a wee bit of sexism out there, so what! It was barely sexist at all. Now go iron your bloomers!

  33. Yeah, I’ve gotta agree with prowlerzee; I voted for Snoman because of the “semi-sexist” remark.

    Also, the kitchen thing is so overplayed that I couldn’t NOT vote for it. (Does that even make sense?)

  34. I don’t know why, but I’m kind of hung up on A Man writing “yourselfs” instead of “yourselves”. I mean, “selfs” just doesn’t look right, how do you write that?

  35. I was going to vote for Misogynist, but them I reread them and noticed A Man’s:

    this site (dont know how the fuck i found it)

    hee!

  36. I voted for Misogynist and Proud of it–it was short, and there was truth in the handle–but seriously? I think it’s all the same bitter, maladjusted d00d or trolls from the Internet Hate Machine (who may as well be one bitter, maladjusted d00d–they all sound the same).

  39. Had to go with A Man for “fucking fat girls all proud and shit”. Though “hambeasts” cracks me up as well, so it was tempting.

    All proud and shit indeed.

  40. I voted A Man, because Snoman is tired, while Misogynist is too in love with his memes to say anything original. A Man is shambling mess, and also for the hateing.

  41. For those unfamiliar, “scene bitches” are a uniquely reviled species of attractive young women. They are taxonomically similar to hipsters but they tend to be slightly more goth. They are the main demographic targeted by the Only Undies Club and they tend to have labret piercings or Marilyns, and some combination of bleached and/or dyed black hair. Guys in particular love to hate on them, including my ex-boyfriend. As far as I can tell, it’s a mixture of “sour grapes” phenomenon, slut-shaming, and an actual irritation with their tendency to engage in rude behavior such as texting other people while talking to you.

  42. The only reason I vote for Snowman was because I got stuck this idea in my mind how he’s chased by a bunch of hairdryers.
    Ridiculous, I know but besides that image, those guys only bored me. Stupid, unimaginative, boring and well… I said boring once but they are really boring. 🙂
    And back in the day there was some thought in those insults or half a thought but compared to this… damn.

  43. I just wish Mysonynist etc. had chosen a handle with the word “man” in it. Like Aquaman, Superman, Batman, MysoMan…

    Then the three of them could have formed a clueless superhero group. But no, Myso just had to break the lovely symmetry.

  44. This was a tough one. Went with A Man for apparently drunkenly searching for something, stumbling onto this website, and then having an internal wrestling match that spilled out onto his keyboard.

    That is, if you believe his “don’t know how the fuck I found it.”

  45. I had to go with “Misogynist” for his phrase “farting out protests” and references to “lesbian hambeasts”. You won’t find that in Webster’s dictionary

  46. Wow. I mean, they are all so blatantly ridiculous, and don’t even try to hide their women hating with faux intelligent condescending. I’m going to have to adjust my troll rubric, for these three failures.

  48. Had to go with Misogynist because I can’t read his comment without cracking up.

    Lesbian hambeast? Any clue as to what a hambeast is or is it like a jabberwocky?

  49. Had to give it to A Man. He just seems like he’s sitting at his computer typing to himself.

    Cement Bunker, Day 2405: Scene bitches ignored my fabulous boner again! Drunk fat chick hit on me! Must go read askmen.com, again!

  51. “Delicious tears, you worthless scum” is a line worthy of a comic book supervillain.

  52. it had to be mysogynist. he obviously thought long and hard about how to put that much hatred into two short lines. how poetic. probably took him a good day and a half. I laughed so hard i cried. especially with the comments afterwards. fabulous.

  53. I have to go with mysogynist. “Delicious tears, you worthless scum” is delicious indeed.

  54. A Man gets my vote, for this one phrase alone: “fucking fat girls all proud and shit.” Yup…a whole group of proud women, who won’t be shamed, even by the f-word (fat). I can see why that would be really scary for a guy like this. Funny how he keeps finding groups of women to hate and fear no matter where he turns.

    Hambeast, from Misogynist, though. Teehee! Reminds me of an old spoof comic, “Peter Porker, the Amazing Spider-Ham!” Maybe Lesbian Hambeast could be his nemesis! If it’s one thing pop culture has taught me, it’s that lesbians make great devious villains!

  56. This round’s a toughie.

    I’m going with Snoman because I really admire the way he managed to be so offensive without any swear words.
    His mother was probably really strict about them.

    Love hambeasts.

  57. Sadly, I’m a week late due to a very nasty flu bug (too…weak…to…click…) but I have to say out loud that I give my belated vote to Miss Ogynist. He sounds like he’s spurting out words that turn him on just as he reaches the big O. It reminds me of the sex talk in All of Me: “Yes! Now call me a cheap sex poodle!!!!”

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