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FNTT Season 6: the Look At What Your Feminism Has Wrought! edition

Sorry for Feministe’s Next Top Troll being MIA for the beginning of the week — I lacked the time/patience for it, temporarily. But we’re back! And this time we bring you trolls who are happy to document all the ill that feminism has done in the world. Vote below the fold.

Ben:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEtw3XJoJrE

First Female Dictator Hailed As Step Forward For Women!

You should celebrate that too on your blog to show how Feminism is so great for everyone!

P.S. “Women owe society neither babies nor excuses” post is a classic. While sure there are different “strands” of Feminism, I think your post really hit what Feminism is all about.

You sure told us evil patriarchal men off.

Sure, women don’t owe babies to society. In fact women don’t owe anything to anyone–especially men. I mean, who cares if the whole population goes extinct due to the “choice” of a few independent” women.

I mean women are human beings, right? If women don’t want to produce babies, despite their biology, so be it. They should have the right to decide how humanity ends. I totally agree.

Yes, don’t feel guilty women. Indulging in your own “independence” with disregard to biology and the opposite sex is empowering.

Don’t you feel empowered, because I do.

We need “more women like you” to ensure our doom in the future and disregard for biology and survival of the species.

As Ricky Gervais would say, “brilliant.”

Nicole:

I think it’s pretty clear that Feminism creates a lot of rapists today. My boyfriend has been sharing this book with me about it: Principles 101 [Link removed -ed.]

Fidelbogen:

Occasionally, I surf around to various feminist websites hoping to find evidence of a new consciousness, a glimmer of awakened understanding which transcends the suffocating parochialities of feminist subjectivism and feminist navel-gazing. But invariably I am disappointed. Ever and always, I step into a world where time stands still, an echo chamber with sealed windows where people drone endlessly on and on with the same old boring chestnuts about “patriarchy”, “gender oppression”, “privilege”, “objectification”, and the like. Yadda-yadda-yadda!

And if I come back in a year, two years, SIX years, I know it will be the same tired old claptrap, time after time after time after time . . . .

Newsflash: The universe is stirring! The non-feminist world is changing, mutating, evolving, way out yonder, far beyond the feminist bubble. Some day eventually, you guys might wake up, like Rip van Winkle, and get a surprise or three.

In the meantime, we’re not waiting for you. If you don’t catch up and keep up, that’s your tough love! It’s not our job to educate you about the rest of the world. Granted, it’s not YOUR job to educate US about feminism – as you’ve so often said yourselves. But it’s not OUR job to do that either – not unless we, at our royal pleasure, feel so inclined! 😉 And most of us, quite honestly, can’t be bothered.

However, some of us indeed ARE educating ourselves about feminism, AND . . . we are educating the REST of us about feminism as well. (Since you guys can’t seem to do that.)

And you might not like the KIND of education we are giving them, either! You see, we are answering the hard questions that you guys won’t square up to! But that likewise is tough love, since the privilege of defining feminism is no longer a feminist monopoly. Non-feminists now have as much objective say-so in the question “what is feminism?” as would any self-declared feminist. Feminism is now a public object, an object for the world as we say, and your narrative is no longer under your exclusive control! 🙂

Nor will you continue to impose your language and your discourse upon the rest of the world. Talk your language to each other as much as you wish. But eventually, you MUST talk to the non-feminist world, and when you do, you will learn talk in a different voice.

To pull the thread back on topic, let me emphasize that the original post, titled “Love”, touched my heart in a special manner which is far beyond the power of mere words to convey. 😉

(All except for the mention of bell hooks, and the understated male-bashing .That completely fucked it up! 😉

I depart your space now.

Bye! :))

Mom of 4 Boys:

Also, These poor babies are not given any pain medication! So not only are they tortured but they are tortured without pain medication. God have mercy on us!

Abortion the politically correct genocide!

OMG Matree:

Trigger warnings? Wow! I never thought I’d miss the sneering condescension and shrill clucking of the ’80’s Femanazis. Where are you Camille?

Mark EF:

It is about time, mens’ studies is nothing but coopted women’s stufies, male studies will addreas all the unfair advantages women are GIVEN, while men labor to earn and are yet deprrived, becuase of nasty feminist law and policy, it’s about dam time. Deal with it!



82 thoughts on FNTT Season 6: the Look At What Your Feminism Has Wrought! edition

  1. Ben came close with his truly charming display of failed sarcasm, but Fidelbogen took the day by providing an interactive lesson in why feminist code words like “oppresive,” “patronizing,” and “douche” still exist.

    I mean, really? “The universe is stirring”? All this “sexism” stuff is too boring for hir remarkably short attention span? I vote we chain the troll to “our space” for a little while. Tough love all the way to the finals.

  2. Mom of 4 Boys for her dedication (2nd nomination, go you), for her self-righteous screen name (because apparently her motherhood makes her an authority on this issue, or implies that you can’t be a mother of 4 and still be pro-choice), and for the flawless use of both “politically correct” and “genocide” while trolling a feminist blog.

  3. I voted for Ben, but I do think Fidelbogen gets some extra kudos for use of smilies! See, I’m not trying to be mean or anything 😉 I just think you should revel in your oppression! *winky smiley face*

  4. I had to go with Fidelbogen. My eyes glazed over at paragraph two, but then he went and closed it out with the passive-aggressive smiley.

  5. I really don’t think Ben understands that video is from a satire site. But what really won it for him was the ‘you don’t owe babies to society’ but if you refuse the babymaking demands of your biology, you are killing the entire human race, bitches.

  6. Ben for his apparent belief that the human race is in danger of dying out from underpopulation.

  7. Ok, I adore Ben. I love the idea that a few women not having babies is going to END HUMAN POPULATION FOR ALL TIME. And I love how women get to decide how to end humanity! BWA HA HA HA HA. I also thought it was just precious that women having independence is “indulgence”. I wonder how Ben would describe male independence? And I must be very powerful to be disregarding so much biology. As a queer, childless woman, I defy nature!

    I think my second favourite would be Nicole’s idea that feminism creates rapists. Because, you know, a movement that tries to eliminate rape in practical ways is clearly creating rapists. Go Nicole!

  8. Fidelbogen is trying way too hard here – all that pretentious crap… It was hard to stay awake. And although I loved Mark’s big “deal with it [biatch]!”-finish and also have to admit that Ben’s complete irony-fail is a close second, I’ll have to go with Nicole. Obviously, speaking out against rape is encouraging rape, because *that’s* when the whole misogyny-thing started – her boyfriend’s magic book told her so. Ugh, the incredible logical thinking behind all this…

  9. I voted Ben for the genius idea that removing the pressure to have children is going to lead to the total extermination of everyone. It’s not like people will have kids regardless of whether they have to to be an accepted member of society at large or anything. That’s crazy talk.

  10. Ben, because in hir (his?) eyes, obviously choice is a very dangerous thing. “Random” scare quotes, assuming that “independent” women are ruining the world, biology equals destiny and should mandate our reproductive choices–yep, we have a talented troll here.

  11. Fidelbogen, for reminding us of the glory days when feminists had total control over defining feminism–remember, guys? When anti-feminists were totally silent about the subject and didn’t try to derail, stereotype, and dismiss? That was awesome.

    Also because “I depart your space now” sounds like a good-bye out of a bad sci-fi cable show.

  12. Ben, no contest. First, for the massive logic lacuna–
    ‘I mean, who cares if the whole population goes extinct due to the “choice” of a few independent” women.’
    Maybe… if the whole population really depended on just a “few” women. Which it doesn’t.
    Second, for sealing the deal with a Ricky Gervais quote. Ew.

  13. Ben, for a postscript that was four or five times as long as his main comment, and was (apparently) about a different post!

    The brevity and complete non sequitur of Nicole earns an hon. mention, also Mom of 4 Boys for the delightful melodrama of “God have mercy on us!”

  14. Hm almost no one agrees but I vote Mark EF for being in a bizarro world and implying male privilege is false.

  15. It was a toss-up for me between Ben and Mark EF, but the concept of feminist laws was just… I couldn’t resist. Fidelbogen was just super tl;dr – I couldn’t even get through the first two paragraphs.

  16. Definitely Ben, for the end of the species due to reproductive choice. That’s an entirely likely doom scenario. Micheal Bay should make a movie about it.

  17. Ben, because the assertion that “a few” (his words) women choosing not to have babies will cause extinction is just too ridiculous not to get a vote.

  18. Fidelbogen, of course, for showing us that while we waste our time on feminism, there are much better wastes of time in the real world – like criticizing feminism.

  19. What? No love for Nicole? It’s brevity, irony, and anti-feminism all in one! What’s not to love?

    Also, Jill, thanks for resuming FNNT! I was starting to miss it.

  20. Definitely Ben – I had no idea feminism was responsible for dictatorships AND the end of humankind! If women could have foreseen this, maybe they wouldn’t have fought for equal rights!

    Oh Ben – there are 6 billion people on the planet. Even if half of womankind elected not to have kids, I hardly think we’re in danger of becoming extinct. Also: I wasn’t aware having a uterus was a biological imperative to reproduce in the 21st century.

  21. I voted for fidelbogen because of this gem

    Newsflash: The universe is stirring! The non-feminist world is changing, mutating, evolving, way out yonder, far beyond the feminist bubble. Some day eventually, you guys might wake up, like Rip van Winkle, and get a surprise or three.

    way out yonder, far beyond the feminist bubble was just too funny for my small town sensibilities to deny

  22. I think Nicole needs a new boyfriend, if he’s trying to control her through anti-feminist propaganda.

  23. Ben, for linking to a “news” segment from the Onion, and for insinuating that women should be…forcibly impregnated?

    Feminism will literally be responsible for humanity’s extinction in the very near future. It’s almost too good. Perhaps Ben is playing a joke on us all?

  24. Ben, for throwing a tantrum at the thought of women not being forced to procreate, and then trying to guilt-trip us into doing so.

    Fidelbogen would have gotten it–I chuckled at the “OH YEAH? WELL OUR CLUB IS WAY COOLER THAN YOURS SO THERE BITCHEZ” whine–but it was tl;dr.

    The rest was eh. One was apparently a marketing ploy for a book, and the rest just pulled out the old tropes and used them yet again. BE DIFFERENT, TROLLS. BE CREATIVE PLZ KTHANXBAI.

  25. Fidelbogen, without any hesitation. I just kept reading and reading his comment, hoping he would finally make a point, until… I got to the end. And there was still no point. All this eloquence for… what exactly? I’m not even sure he was accusing feminism of something, because it seems it has no impact on the REAL world… Though, maybe that’s what he was accusing it of…

    Seriously, I’m just confused. (But he still wins my vote because it’s not everyday you cross a troll who pulls out a reference to Rip van Winkle to talk about feminism. Kudos to you, Findelbogen!)

  26. I don’t know… so many quote marks……I’ll go with Ben, he has “the” most “quote” “marks” out of “all” “of” them.

  27. Ben was AWESOME!!! I wish someone had not had him. But then the human race would EENNNDDDDDDD. OOHHH NOOOOOOOOES!!

  28. I’m with FashionablyEvil. Nicole. Feminism causes rape.
    I’m too stunned to write entire sentences.

  29. Really some good trolling this time.
    I had to go with fidelbogen because someday I will have to go out into the world and it will be different! It’s evolving! The universe is stirring! And in the mean time, it’s not his job to teach me about it. Wow, the arrogance of that thinking. The way he takes on, but yet, feels burdened by educating women/feminists. That blew me away.
    Outstanding narcissism, fidelbogen!

    But special mention to Nicole, who listens to her boyfriend. I’m giving her a country club lady golf clap.

  30. It was close there, between Fidelbogen and Ben. Fidelbogen lost because of the TL;DR factor. There is a sin worse than stupidity and it’s boring me to death. I don’t care if you bore other people, but you boring me is inexcusable. I can sit in a room for hours and listen to someone drone on and on about the history of maritime tariffs and take copious notes. Ben on the other hand wins for the sole reason that he basically wants us to argue with his sarcastic “women are human” line. I’d love to see his compelling evidence otherwise.

    Nicole could have been the dark horse, if only because I’m super intrigued. All sorts of questions popped up: Who is this douchebag boyfriend of hers? Does she have someone she can go to for help when it turns sour? Why does she not run screaming when someone tries to show her literature (red flag in my book)?…and above all else what was that book?

    The fact that it was bowdlerized piqued my interest- if only to see how fucked up it probably is.

  31. Awww Nicole is such a good little girlfriend, blindly accepting whatever dreck her boyfriend tells her.

  32. It’s too bad you removed the link for that “feminism causes rape” book. I’d like to have seen it.

    Although I can guess what it says: Feminism emasculates and sexually frustrates men to the point where the poor dears simply have to lash out and rape someone.

    I can’t decide among this batch of trolls, although OMG Matree gets style points for the Paglia reference.

  33. Ben gets my vote for terrible sarcasm and failing to understand that the world has upwards of six billion people on it.

    And really, ‘Mom of 4 Boys’ covers for three of me not having kids, so what’s the big deal here?

  34. I voted for Ben for the “I mean women are human beings, right?” comment which just… I mean, right?

    But I’d have also liked to know the name of that anti-feminist “Principles 101” book in Nicole’s contribution.

  35. Nicole is CLEARLY the best.

    Feminism causes rape! Her boyfriend says so. Where did he learn that? From a book? No, Nicole didn’t READ the book – why would she read a book? She’s a girl!

  36. Fidelbogen gets points for managing to convey so little meaning in so many words, but Ben just has to win it for me for linking an Onion video, suggesting that feminists should celebrate it, and then completely changing tack and talking about the impending Femocalypse.

  37. Ben was going to win it, then I actually looked up the book Nicole refers to and… Wow. Way, way worse then I thought. Nicole wins. Actually Nicole loses, really seriously. Being involved with a guy who agrees with something like that. Feeling a bit sick now.

  38. I’m really sad that OMG Matree is getting so little love. Mentioning Camille Paglia and the word “shrill” is so old-school.

  39. I really cannot choose between Ben’s logic fail, name dropping, and the fact he used “P.S.” 5 lines into a 22 line comment and Fidelbogen’s determined use of smileys. In the end I think it goes to Fidelbogen. Something about his post screams for me to tell him just how far his head is up his ass. As stated in previous rounds, giving your readers this urge to derail the conversation further is the mark of a true troll.

  40. Since you two mentioned the book, I googled Principles 101 and read the table of contents. Wow, what a perfect misogynist manifesto!

  41. Ben for the extinction apocalypse conspiracy theory. Really, guy? You think the world is suffering from a lack of people? To paraphrase the late great Bill Hick, we are a virus with shoes.

  42. If Nicole hadn’t been straight after Ben, it would so have been Ben. But the matter of factness made me laugh.

    Ben’s comment reminded me of a scary film advert on Sociological Images months ago for a documentary advocating basically Handmaid’s Tale policies. There was a whole load of blantant racism and homophobia as well. I think it inclluded the line “this won’t be regarded as PC, but…”

  43. Ben: I don’t understand why he is nominated, I mean he totally gets it. Women don’t how men or anyone else anything, our bodies shouldn’t be taken over in order to insure a certain number of babies are born. Also, is that video from The Onion? Please tell me it is a different one.

    Mark EF: I think this is sarcasm ya’ll missed. Yeah, that’s it, it is sarcasm. That is what I shall tell myself.

    Mom of 4 boys: You know, I remember her from earlier rounds and, well, she, oh…well, *sigh*

    Nicole: dump him, please, for goodness sakes.

    My vote: This was a really close one but gonna have to go with Bem. There is something scary about his attitude that women do in fact owe the world children and that being independent is selfish.

  44. Nicole. I googled the book, the top hit is the actual book and you can read it. I read one paragraph of it, in which it compared feminists “taking offense” to stuff to fat people taking offense to being mocked instead of just losing the weight already. This book is a gem. You can get it for free and if you’re looking for a handy compendium of all the major antifeminist arguments and whines and such, then this book promises to be a trove. It’s like 143 pages of anti-feminist bingo.

  45. That principles 101 book had a section on “Nice Guys.” The author blames the Nice Guy (TM) phenomenon on feminism somehow?

  46. And also blames feminism for the existence of “Players.” What? I think it just lists negative things and then points to feminism.

  47. Huh, the comment above is a continuation of a previous comment, which is in moderation for some reason. Is the book title a moderation buzz word?

  48. Nicole was downright scary, but I go for the entertaining trolls, so it was a tie between Ben and Fidelbogen, both of which I read out loud for dramatic effect. Fidelbogen almost won it on account of his name so ominously rolling off the tongue, but Ben got the win for suggesting that the questionably human borg-collective of “independent” women are plotting to DOOM the entire race by withholding babies. Newsflash, Ben. We could take over the sperm banks and continue. Without you. BWAAA-hahahahaha!

  49. I voted for Nicole, because reading her comment was like watching Twilight all over again, and fitting 90 minutes of creepy dependent ignorance into such a small space is admirable. I suppose.

  50. Oh Ben and Fidelbogen both tempt me with their wild ways and rambling pretension.

    But Nicole. So simple. So direct. So completely out of touch. And there’s a magic book! A book that says things!

    She captured my heart.

  51. Hark, Fidelbogen! Raise thy glorious Wings and fly; Fly into the Sunset! Away from this maddening Feminist Crowd! On the Wigs of Love!

    Oh geez.

  52. Jeepers, I totally want brain-bleach. I too googled the Principles 101 and the first few pages were enough to make me vote for “Nicole” (who by the way totally exists and is totally female and not the author of this book! Really!).

  53. Fidelbogen is apparently an avant-garde prose poet, sensitive to new stirrings that evade us jackbooted feminists.

    I gave it to Ben for complete illogic.

    But everytime I see the name “Fidelbogen” I hear Spike Jones in my head: “And the winner is…Fiedelbaum”

  54. @Ama The real gem of the books is its definition of manhood (warning, this definition will piss you off and/or make you laugh at how ridiculously misogynist it is):

    “Simply put, Manhood is your authority—the
    proper form necessary to govern the lives of others, especially
    women.”

    You have to appreciate a book that is so upfront about its hatred of women. However it is worrisome that after Nicole’s boyfriend showed her this book she didn’t take off running for the hills. RUN NICOLE, RUN! RUN NOW! NOW!

  55. I’m just kinda hoping Daphne is right, and Nicole is simply a shill, really some guy trying to advertise the book and thinking pretending to be a woman who agrees with it will make it’s awful more palatable. Kinda a weird spin on the whole ‘My friends (or I am and) think that joke is hilarious’ line.

  56. Nicole is the winner for me.
    Although her competition was more than tough (a person who defines herself solely by her active ovaries… you know, mom of 4 boys, another one who truly believes that all women get whatever they want with their unfair women qualities, while poor, deserving men like him are left outside the funroom.) Nicole is my ultimate winner. She’s just so… scary. I mean… I got the shivers from her words.

    Everybody who goes with a phrase like “feminism is the reason that rapists exist, my boyfriend told me that” just fails to the “above room temperature IQ test”. I really think that it’s possible Ben to be the boyfriend in question (impregnate all women, NOW, else we are doomed!!!!111).

    Trolls, progviding fun-time to the rest since the dawn of time. 🙂

  57. I really admire the gospel according to Nicole: feminism=existence of rapists – supported by a “book” no less.

    Principles 101 doesn’t actually have a reputable publisher, rather it is a free e-book from the Manhood Academy. It is 143 pages of disturbing male supremacy complete with 109 footnote sources to support the Manhood Academy’s position. Unbiased and academic sources like, Glenn Sacks, The UK daily mail, thefrisky.com, Fox news. A whopping 27.5% of the evidence comes from the Manhood Academy’s own “scientific” discussion forums. My favorite part is where the author claims men have a more potent sex drive than women based on the one and only peer review publication in the entire manifesto and as further evidence of said fact directs the reader to a survey done by Cooking Light. (pages 20-21)

    That’s some quality scientific data.

    The cherry on the sundae – it’s not Nicole who has discovered this great wisdom. No, “she” defers to the superior intellect of “(her) boyfriend.” My vote is for Nicole.

  58. Oh wow. I couldn’t even begin to decide between Ben’s paranoia and scary plan to force us all to have babies for the good of the race, and Fidelbogen’s pose of sophisticated evolved-male intellectuality. By the way, does anybody besides me get the feeling that Fidelbogen really visits the feminist websites to troll for dates? Like, he’s hoping that one day he’ll find a woman who calls herself feminist but nevertheless is %100 willing to submit to his lovingly created master plan for society and relationships in every detail, and this is the only woman he will marry.

  59. Fidelbogen because of that beaut of an exit line (with smileys!!)

    Also, gotta give him some love for letting me know that where I live is but a feminist dream land where I only talk to other feminists. I don’t know about y’all but this feminist paradise I live in: Texas.

  60. But…But…”Nicole”s boyfriend showed her a book! With, like, words and everything. So it must be true!

    I’m with Pidgey; flee, “Nicole”! FLEE AND BE FREE!

  61. asaram: Principles 101 and the associated forum are impressive. Not only do they consider MRAs to be a bunch of feminist sellouts, from their perspective that’s probably even correct.

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