FNTT Season 6: the Feminism 201 edition

88 thoughts on FNTT Season 6: the Feminism 201 edition

1. I’m liking Ryan. “I took a women’s studies course once!” plus photographic documentation of the ways he feels feminists are conspiring to keep men down makes him a winner in my book.

2. It always, for me, seems to come down to two trolls to vote for; this time, it was Massie or DDW. But probably because I spent a decent portion of the night already reading about military stuff, I don’t really have the patience right now for Massie’s argument (though I’m fairly certain zie was not speaking in a military context).

   Plus, DDW was more readable. And an A+ for completely missing the point.

3. Oooh, good choices this time. I’m very tempted by Mr. “I took a woman’s studies course” Ryan, but ultimately had to go with Mr. “mothers are inherently stupid for having ‘crotch-droppings’ because intelligent people don’t like children” Frank.

   Besides, I love the term “pygmyterrorist” – it’s racism and anti-child fervor all bundled up into one sweet, succulent pile of hateful bullshit.

4. Hmm, Frank and Mark were annoying enough I don’t want to give them the satisfaction. Ryan… I just wonder how long ago that course was and how often he drags those pictures out as “proof” of the feminarchy (admittedly, I would have seriously rolled my eyes at that cartoon had I come across it in one of my own textbooks). That is a serious shoulder chip.

   I’m going to go with DDW, I think, because that’s just the kind of counter-intuitive and inflammatory comment that could set a thread on fire for days. A-1 trolling.

5. I had to go with Ryan ’cause he had links. Adding a link to an entire anti-fem blog shows me the time and effort he’s willing to put into making trolling a full-scale endeavor.

6. Frank or Massie, Frank or Massie. I’m going to have to go with Frank for going on and on about how women desperately want kids, but then mentioning how he and his wife don’t. Also, using the term crotch droppings and saying cats have baby proportions. I do not believe cats have baby proporions, to the best of my knowledge they are proportioned like cats.

   Actually, make that Massie. Massie speaks with an air of assurance and makes a statement that really can’t be challenged in any logical manner. I mean, how does one prove that the devil didn’t make someone do it?

7. Frank, for the reasons Sarah said.

8. But Frank’s so right! Men like dogs because they’re not shaped like babies! In fact, we love everything not shaped like babies: asparagus, folding chairs, the planet Mercury — everything! Human beings are kind of gross, though. Basically just large babies with slightly more hair, right?

9. Ryan wins because he clearly considers himself some kind of undercover agent who infiltrated Teh Scawy Feminists by taking a women studies course. Where each of us personally rebuked and humiliated him, apparently.

10. You know, I wanted to vote for Ryan and his inability to use tags that are suggested immediately beneath the comment box- or at least URL shortening. I think that at the end of the day though, I have to give it Mark. I think he can go head to head with Mike from the mansplainin’ edition the way he’s so in love with his own mind. Also, I don’t know what the fuck “cunty” is supposed to mean.

11. I voted DDW, although it was down to DDW and Frank for me. Frank had a massive logic fail (if women are hardwired to want bebbes, does that mean his wife’s a man?), but DDW had the implied racism. He also took Frank’s bullshit one step further; instead of just insisting that women are different than men, he insists that women are inferior–we don’t have a right to have a job in the first place.

    Meanwhile, wtf on Ryan! Ahahahahahaha!

12. Wow, this is hard. I kinda want to go with the guy who calls us “puerile,” yet then uses the word “cunty,” but Frank gets my vote for ending his post with the oh-so-patronizing and infuriating, “But good for you.” Yes, Frank. Good for us.

    And Ryan, no, I do not remember ridiculing and humiliating you, but we all can now! Everybody wins!

13. DDW for epic logic fail.

14. omg, that’s where the “cunty and wildly narcissistic” comes from that jill mentioned once! haha, awesome :)… it’s a very close one between the infamous-quotation-mark and ryan, but i have to go with ryan – because, you know: he knows what we’re all up to… he has seen it first-hand… and he’ll NEVER forget. *shiver*
    …awesome round :)!

15. So, does Feministe get epic hate mail from the nominees and winners on account of their being in the competition?

16. I went with Ryan just because he has a blog full of very, very long posts on trolling feminism.

17. Had to go with Mark. “Cunty” made me lol.

18. I like Mark for assuming that there’s nothing else going on in our lives except discussions of Lady Gaga (what’s a “recession”?).

    I like Frank for assuming that because I think a cat is cute, it’s an automatic assumption that I want babies. BABIES! babiesbabiesbabies. What was I doing?

    Ah right. I also enjoy DDW’s inability to understand that right to equal pay is the narrowed version of the right to be treated equitably regardless of who you are. Fail. And Massie bored me.

    I think I have to go with Ryan who apparently thinks that women deciding they don’t have to get married or put dinner on the table for anyone but themselves is a slight against men. He just doesn’t get it. (I also kind of wish we had a just Ryan round, he sounds like a winner).

19. It must be me, this whole season of FNTT is thoroughly uninspired, filled with retreads and half-hearted hard-headedness. I’ve seen it all before and it’s just not entertaining any more. So, I’ll just hold off until the finals and check back then.

20. Went for Mark because he tries so hard to appear smarter than the rest of us. The disdain and “I am better than thou” attitude was beautiful.

21. I went with Ryan, but no one truly inspired me here.

22. Frank, for many reasons

    – It’s possibly the most condescending of all the comments.

    – Nothing makes me see red like men who believe that women are all basically nurturing zombies who mindlessly need to cuddle anything with large eyes.

    – All women absolutely need to have babies except for his wife, magically. How does he manage to control her raging need to mother everything in her path? Inquiring minds want to know.

    – “the village idiot” and “pygmyterrorist” – nice display of isms going on.

    – I personally don’t want children but I don’t put down people who do. Frank doesn’t seem to realize that if everyone stopped having kids then there would eventually be no more adults. Perhaps he imagines that he emerged, full grown from the ocean, like Venus.

    My only regrets were that in voting for Frank I could not also simultaneously vote for the word “cunty”, and for DDW’s totally bizarre and incomprehensible views on equal pay. I’m sorry – “equal” pay.

23. Hmmm…I was torn between Mark (“I took A women’s studies course, therefore I know ALL about how feminists hate menz!”) and Massie (“I am very smart and know everything except how to use proper grammar and punctuation”), but I eventually gave the edge to Massie. Run-on sentences are the mark of a quality troll.

24. Ryan. Did you catch that his blog is called “Rebuking Feminism?” Not, for example, Rejecting Feminism, or Fighting the FemiNazis or anything like that… no, instead, “rebuking” feminism, as though we are a bunch of little girls who need to be sent to our rooms. Thanks, dude. In the space of one url, he has managed to be totally sexist, and totally patronizing. That takes skill.

25. I’m gonna say it again: Please include information on the post the troll was commenting on. It makes it a lot easier to determine exactly the level of craziness/irrationality. Like for the last example up there, I will assume it came from a post about abortion, but if I’m wrong (maybe it was a post about prison inmates? anti-abortion terrorism? Absolutely nothing at all to do with killing?) it totally changes the context of the comment.

    All that said, my vote went to Frank for completely missing the point….

26. Ryan wins for me. ‘I took a women’s studies course’ is good, but addressing it to You, The Only Feminist Who Is All of You (Clearly) adds a level of genius.

27. Ryan, because it was all about HIM and his woes….

28. I voted DDW because … I just don’t even. I almost voted Massie, but I’m not even sure what’s going on there.

29. I have to go with Frank, for suggesting/outright stating that humans are equivalent to household furnishings and consumer electronics.

30. Frank’s comment about cats having baby proportions (meaning HUGE HEADS? My cats don’t, but my dog does…) is hilarious, but I have to go with Massie. Any troll that starts with “I am very smart” is awesome, and it just keeps getting better from there, a delicious little bundle of nonsense. Massie all the way!

31. Ryan, FTW! But this was mostly b/c I went to his blog and he actually used the term “female hegemony.” And said he had no idea men were responsible for sexism, rape, domestic violence, etc. I think that one women’s studies course he took didn’t pay off so much.

32. I voted for Ryan because the line “Do you remember trying to ridicule and humiliate me???” made me laugh… he is taking it way too personally.

33. vertigo, I voted for him again because I do remember that. It was probably when I voted him in the last round he made an appearance, hahaha. Awww.

34. I had to go for Massie with “Well I am very smart: followed by boilerplate religious nutjob rambling in the form of a run-on sentence.

35. I went with Ryan, because of the screaming paranoia.

36. Although I do want to give points to Frank for somehow connecting the concept of neoteny to arrogant anti-child ranting.

37. My first comment didn’t go through—I said I had to go with Massie for starting a comment with “Well I am very smart,” and then following it with a rambling, religious nutjob run-on sentence.

38. I was gonna go with Frank, but Mark had me at cunty. Who even says that anymore? Also he seems to think that because this is a blog largely focused on feminism that none of us read history and economics. This ain’t a Econ blog dude.

39. frank — because i like dogs, and now i look down, and my vagina has mysteriously turned into a penis. or not…

40. God, this is a tough call between Frank and Ryan, both of whom manage to be, in the words of Cha-cha (@ #23) “totally sexist, and totally patronizing” in the space of one comment.

    Since I just arrived at work from a commute during which I was reading S. Bear Bergman’s “The Nearest Exit May Be Behind You” in which he talks about being male-identified and still adoring babies, Frank’s virulent ageism combined with evo-psych bullshit really stood out. I know plenty of folks (myself included on odd-numbered days) who aren’t so interested in having kids. Frank, on the other hand, seems to be in abject terror of humankind — a situation so dire he has to run screaming from the mere sight of a small person on screen.

    In the end, though, I’m gonna have to go with Ryan. In part because I find the hatred in Frank’s so off-putting it’s not very funny but mostly for the “rebuking feminism” blog. Because, as Cha-cha says, packing so much sexism and patronising pat-on-the-head vibe into a single URL takes skillz.

41. Ryan because he has a whole blog on the above theme. I just glanced over it and the man is truly dedicated to his weirdness. He mashes together Franklin and Marx and some kind of vague Adam Smith-like stuff to create a truly mad philosophy whereby he rants for pages saying women are homogenous, responsible for sexism, sexual abuse and more, and blames them for everything ever done by a man, good or bad. A very serious troll. It’s one step shy from covering himself in green slime and living under a bridge, assuming he has not already done this.

    Cha-Cha – I think he means rebutting or refuting feminism. You can’t rebuke an ideology, you can rebuke a person though. Poor fellow.

42. I’m moved by Ryan’s tragic effort. He took one of ‘our’ classes, he provided links but ends up being personally wounded by our scary, man-hating vitriol. C’est la vie, huh Ryan? Also, how fragile is this man that cartoons humiliate him, and where does his ‘Remember the Ridicule’ support group meet? To use the immortal words of a troll featured earlier this week, “Grow some balls!!!!!!!!!”

43. I vote for Mark, for managing to use “puerile” and “cunty” so close together.

    Frank has his science messed up. According to Stephen Jay Gould in The Panda’s Thumb, both men and women respond more positively to juvenile faces, which is why both cats and dogs have been bred to look more juvenile than their wild ancestors. But for Frank, it’s all about the cat ladies. Also, I don’t go “awww” when I see babies, but I’m still female.

44. I hate to ruin the fun, but can we watch calling the trolls nutjobs or insane and such? Mocking them for their comments is only funny if they aren’t really insane, and it makes me feel icky to think that anyone looks at those comments and is like, AH! Clearly mentally different. It’s not just this thread, but all of them have had some commentary on the trolls that make me a little sad.

    Sorry!

    1. Thank you, PrettyAmiable.

45. I really liked Massie, but I have to go with Frank. I trolled an earnest young 16 year old Ev-Psych True Believer once and was assured that my mothering genes (and those of non-reproducing but uterus-bearing queers everywhere) just hadn’t kicked in yet. I tells ya, if you can find one of these fellows in the wild, they’re terribly fun to troll. It must be my latent pick-on-the-weakling-straggler-separated-from-the-herd predator genes. Or, since I’ve been pegged as some sort of woman* my feline play-with-dying-prey-and-then-wander-away-when-the-novelty-wears-off genes.

    *Geez. If only this guy had been around to assure my youthful classmates that my girl genes just hadn’t kicked in yet!

46. Frank was so mansplainy. I love it.

47. @prettyamiable: i think you should not feel sorry at all to point that out! in fact, i did not reflect that sort of “mentally ill/crazy/insane”-language before i came to this blog at all, and comments like yours pointing out how discriminating it is had an effect on me in trying to be less obnoxious in my wording. so: thank you!

48. I was gonna vote for Frank, but then I got confused about what he was complaining about. He says he and his wife are smart people who don’t have children and don’t want to, but all women must have children or feel their brains will explode. I can’t vote for someone with no logic.

    Massie got it because my friends and I think God and Zeus are going to team up to smite us, since we spend half our time ridiculing them. And more broadly the idea that you need to be Christian to be a good person. (Zeus gets mocked for being the head the Mount Olympus gods and basically being the worst of the lot. Oh, we are geeks.)

49. I like Mark for the irony in calling Gaga cunty after all the penis speculation. And the implication that, unlike us feminists, he reads serious stuff.

50. Frank gets points for randomness.

51. But Ryan gets points because he seems to think there is feminist hoard with one brain that is targeting him specifically.

52. But Massie wins for me because WTF?

53. Ruthie, do you think Zeus gets pissed that God calls hirself God? Or do you think Zeus writes it off as, well, eff you, at least I was creative and didn’t name my cat “Cat.” If I were Zeus, I’d be pissed, and if I were God, I’d be nervous that Zeus were double-crossing me.

    Just saying.

    (Jen – thanks.)

54. Ryan, I want to marry you.

    And then eat your for breakfast.

55. had to go with frank, though i was tempted by ‘cunty’.
    Mainly because for me the cuteness scale goes something like kittens>monitor lizards>octopi>caterpillars>giant pandas>>babies. Clearly my womanly brain just likes komodo dragons cause they’re like babies.

56. I’m going with DDW because I’m pretty sure that the Industrial Workers of the World formed before most countries even gave women the vote. Just sayin’.

57. I was sorely tempted by Ryan, on creep factor alone. In the end though, a vote for him would play right into his hands. So, Frank gets the top spot for being nice enough to remove himself from the gene pool without me even having to ask.

58. I almost voted for Frank because he’s trying to break everything down to SCIENCE. Women like THIS because they’re women and men like THAT because they’re not women! It’s so simple! Also, he can’t understand why any SMART person would want to go through having a child because he’s smart and he doesn’t want to have any children! How anecdotal.

    But in the end, I had to vote for Massie because s/he needed to point out that s/he was, in fact, smart, and that’s why his/her statement is valid even though it makes no sense.

59. Had to go with Frank! I love it when men explain to me what women want and how women think.

60. PrettyAmiable, I think there may have been a fight at some point over who got the title, and Zeus was also trying to escape from Hera at the same time (after she found out he’d slept with another human woman) and therefore lost. Or it was an epic chess game and one of the other Greek deities (quite possibly Hera) saw Zeus for what he was and fixed the game just in case. I’ve probably put too much thought into this.

    Is it just a thing with English where the word for god is the same as the name of God, or is it the same with most languages?

61. Before I vote for Massie, I just want to confirm something. S/he is talking about abortion, right?

62. Frank gets my vote, because his grasp of science is so bad. It’s actually dogs that have the cuteness factor, because they’ve been bred as companions whereas cats were working animals until very recently. Dogs work too, but they work with people so there’s a whole communication thing where facial expressions are important, blah blah etc etc. that, and all that crap about mothering genes, which I apparently do not have.

    So yeah, for logic fail, science fail and being a patronising turd, I choose Frank.

63. I’ve gotta give it to Frank because, while Ryan is scary and WILL NEVER FORGET what has been done to him, Frank uses “crotch-droppings” and is completely anti-child and somehow his wife manages to not want to mother everything in sight, in spite of being a woman and loving kitties more than doggies. Or something. That’s just classic WTFery.

64. PrettyAmiable: thank you. It’s been bothering me too.

    I went with Frank for this one. Mysoginy and child-hate in one neat little shit covered package!

65. I’ve completely forgotten ridiculing and humiliating Ryan. Dang it, I’m never drinking before Women’s Studies class again!

    Not sure who to vote for yet. Frank is the most infuriating for me personally, but not the funniest. Good crop this time!

66. Hello.
    I have to go with Ryan, well, because..

    Men remember….

    LMFAO.
    Everyone has been warned. MEN REMEMBER!!!

    But Brennan, you are correct. Frank should get something special for removing himself, and his wife, from the gene pool. I just don’t know what that something special should be. Maybe a weekend over at Massie’s house? The god fearin and baby hating would clash and make a pretty stain on the floor.

67. DDW! His argument is so succinct and logical, and yet its conclusion is so mind-bogglingly stupid.

68. DDW, because I do have the right to a job. Article 23 of the UN Declaration of Human Rights says so. It also says that I have the right to equal pay for equal work

69. Why? Why did I feel the need to read Ryan’s blog?

    So much missing the pointage going on my head hurt.
    Ugh, time for a nap.

70. I’m not loving Ryan in this one. He is sounding too much like a man with a hunting rifle, who is hiding in a bush uncomfortably close by. (Seriously Ryan, get some help for your persecution complex.)

    I have decided that Frank has the superioriest level of condescension and dismissal. The juxtaposition of so many incorrect statements with so much self-satisfaction is a nice touch.

71. I don’t remember any of that shit Ryan was talking about. It’s like he thinks we’re the Borg or something and have some incredible hive mind. In a way, though, he ought to feel “humiliated,” since he’s the precise type of asshole a profeminist man should avoid being.

    Long story short, I voted Ryan because he was thorough enough to add “citations.”

72. Gembird: I think that there’s something in the cat genepool that resists alteration. I seem to remember hearing about a calico cat that was cloned, and the original and the clone looked totally different.
    Hmm, so much fail to chose from, but I went with Massie becuase I love the drive-by commenting from a parallel universe.

73. I voted for Massie for reassuring all of us that he/she is ‘very smart’ and then making zero sense afterwards.

    Ryan’s blog is terrifying!! So much anger!

74. I had to go with Frank, because I’m pretty sure he’s talking about Capucine and I am absolutely in love with that little girl. Her mom is pretty awesome, too: http://capucha.tumblr.com/

    I second third zillion the “tell us what post” request.

75. Ryan wins for his comment (“I took a Women’s Studies course once so now I know what ALL feminists are up to!”). His paranoia is astounding. And his blog is completely dedicated to trolling us feminazis,
    “First and foremost I’ve come to the conclusion that all women are feminists….Does your sense of victimhood and entitlement really run that deep? Yes, given your separatist, competitive, secular, political disposition and gynocentric focus on your own welfare it certainly does…

    GIVE MEN AND FATHERS OUR EQUAL RIGHTS! ”

    Can everybody say, “Psy-cho!” Sounds like *somebody* was rebuked by a hot feminist.

    Of course, as a cat-disliking mother, I have a special place in my heart for Frank’s reasoning. I’m totally going to use “village idiot” the next time I feel like selling my boys to the circus. In my brain, of course. Because I don’t need to raise boys who grow up to be fucked up like Ryan or Frank. Nope, they’re going to be good-old-fashioned man-hating feminists. Or, as my ex would say, “Being raised by a feminist is going to turn them into fags.” Trolling in my own life. Maybe he and Frank should meet?

76. Wow! This is a tough one. I hope they’re not all this tough. I’m happy Frank finally explained to me why I think my cat is adorable. Ryan’s just belligerent. But I think I have to go with Mark because incoherent reading list for us dumb, small minded girls.

77. I would’ve said Ryan, but he just seems so troubled and paranoid that it almost doesn’t seem fair. So Frank wins, for being nearly unable to type “children” instead of some oh-so-witty derogatory epithet. Gee I wonder why his wife doesn’t want to have kids.

78. Ryan wins for coming back for second helpings of ridicule!

79. I had to vote Massie because the implication that we “try to kill every person” kind of elevates us to supervillain status. Oh, Massie, you are a magical, incoherent delight.

80. I’ve taken a women’s studies course. I know full well what you teach in there.

    Is it too late to vote for this one? I lolzed!

81. DDW, for missing the point so very completely.

82. Mark gets my vote because his wild swerve from pompous literary condescension (“Yes, Tony Judt is a fairly smart guy, and you should read Postwar”) to childish mud slinging (“And after that you should read more serious history and economics instead of the dumb shit you usually read”) keeps making me laugh every time I look at it. Also because of the Postwar shout out. It is a good book. I’m sure Judt would be gratified to know he has Mark’s approval.

83. Very tough call between DDW and Mark. But, even though DDW’s argument is by far my favourite here, Mark sweeps past him on a wave of style points for using ‘cunty’.

84. Gotta go with DDW, personally, but on the subject of Frank: I do love babies, and I loathe cats, and I love dogs…what AM I? All this time I thought I was a cis female, turns out, I might be a man after all…maybe, because I do like babies. Oh this is all so confusing!

    Re: God being called God (and whether it’s just a quirk of the english language) God was originally called God in judeo xtian religions because of the edict about taking hir name in vain. We can’t address God by hir name (Jahweh, Allah, Yahweh, depending on the translation) because that would be, essentially invoking hir every time we mentioned hir, and God hates to be disturbed for no good reason.

    Hence, we use the descriptive word, to avoid calling on our God when we’re not actively looking to invoke hir power. Over time, of course, we defaulted to God pretty much exclusively, and address hir as God even when we pray. (though I have heard one Rabbi state that very little that is human is hefty enough for a full scale invocation of Yahweh) Over time as well, just to be on the safe side, as God became the default in english, many Jews decided to take out a letter when spelling God (hence, G-d that you see from time to time) and generally using God as an expression of frustration or a curse is considered using hir name in vain.

85. I’m gonna have to go with Ryan. Because he calls our troll contest as what men refer to as a “circle jerk” which is man language for spending so much time celebrating a victory both real or imagined or putting down an enemy that nothing gets done. He says that men don’t engage in this type of behavior and put a stop to it among themselves.

    I do enjoy his blog. It seems as if he believes men and women are supposed to be dependent on or otherwise are supposed to need each other for something. He completely rejects Women’s Liberation because women have not in actuality liberated themselves from dependency on men for financial support.

    He rants and raves about wanting to be a father and how women have no responsibilities or liabilities in marriage but choices. He says that men are made to support women’s choices while men have no choices but to support a woman and “her” children outside of marriage. So says the white male patriarch.

    Sorry if this is a duplicate comment but the last one didn’t go through.

86. I voted for Massie because she filled me in that a.) she is very smart and b.) that every person who kills is trying to kill everyone. I have actually had an abortion in my life and I didn’t know that I was trying to kill everyone. Man, I have some catching up to do- so many missed opportunities.

87. Something tells me Ryan failed his womens studies course. Badly.

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