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God I hate John Mayer.

Jill

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I hate John Mayer. Have I mentioned this before? Because I really, really cannot fucking stand John Mayer. His music blows. He is smarmy and full of himself. I like other people significantly less if they admit to liking him. I sincerely believe that “He lists John Mayer as his favorite music on Facebook” is a totally legitimate reason not to date someone.

And now I have even more of a reason to hate John Mayer. Think homeboy would talk to a male reporter like that? Seriously, screw that guy.

50 thoughts on God I hate John Mayer.

  1. Yeah but I hear he’s got a huge weenis AND he’s boning Jen Anderson, so he must be pretty cool.

    Oh wait, you mean he’s also a musician? Really?

  2. i also really really wish John Mayor would go away already. whenever i meet someone who admits to being a fan of him, anything they said thereafter doesn’t even register with me.

  3. The arguementative/angry hate speech in that interview just permanently put me off of him.

    Saying fuck that/fuck you/etc once in a while – ok. Even in an interview, if someone has really pissed you off. Reading that however he seems more interested in attacking the reporter than answering her questions.

    It seems like the person answering the questions is some little boy trying to sound tough and grown-up.

  4. Since when does a 32 year old white guy from an upper-middle class background in Connecticut who squandered a shot a Berklee and went on to be incredibly rich and successful by the time he turned 25 exclusively through playing middle-of-the-road, technically unimpressive, watered down, whitened up, pseudo-blues get the title “blues legend?”

    But hey, he’s cute and he isn’t threateningly black, so he must be a big deal, right?

  6. I’m not a fan of him. But, I think underneath all the bullshit he was spouting, he was trying to get the journo to ask him more appropriate questions or questions that just had to do with his music.

    Why should I give a shit what celebrities think of current politics? I think that was what he was trying to bring attention to, though in a very uncouth way.

  7. Goldnsilver, I would normally agree, except that Mayer has made it a habit of running his mouth off about politics. Even in the interview he mentions that his next album will be more political. He wrote that HORRIFIC song “Waiting for the World to Change.”

    If you don’t want to be Bono, fine with me (for the love of Jesus it is fine with me). But don’t try to have it both ways and only talk about politics when you want to, and act like a dick when someone else brings it up.

  8. Haha, good one, John. Guess it doesn’t count as a (joking) rape threat if you use the words “forcefully sodomize” instead of “rape.”

  9. Pingback: John Mayer, you suck ass

  10. How is that different? Haven’t you written a lot about heartbreak?
    I think most artists do, but this is really breaking into the theme of it as a concept.

    So it obviously makes no difference if he’s asked about current events or his music. His answers are equally inane.

  11. Could you maybe put a trigger warning somewhere around that link? (Unless it’s already there and I’m missing it. Which is totally possible.) Thanks! 🙂

  14. Oh good. Another reason to hate this guy. Learn to enunciate, dude. Better yet, shut up and go away.

  15. I like other people significantly less if they admit to liking him.

    Right there with you. I haven’t even clicked the link yet; just had to get that out.

  16. I think most artists do, but this is really breaking into the theme of it as a concept.

    I’m kinda thinking this is the most offensive sentence in there. Like, the rest of it was *awful* and I wanted to mace him through my computer screen, but this made me cringe for real. “…the theme of it as a concept”? SHUT UP AND DIE IN A FIRE THAT IS THE WORST PHRASE EVER.

  19. I, too, hate this doucheweasel. It makes me indescribably warm and fuzzy inside to know that you all hate him, too.

  20. He’s never really entered my consciousness enough to hate him, but that interview was a monument to assholery.

  21. I read the whole intro (including the “blues legend” part) as very, very sarcastic.

    Oh, I’m aware it was in this context, but the reason it worked as sarcasm was because its been used in other write ups with a straight face. The kind of attention this steaming pile has received is just offensive. Up until earlier today it was just musically offensive, but now it seems to be a full package.

  22. Come on now, a guy can like his Emerson, Lake, and Palmer and all and enjoy the odd bit of trash now and then!

    Some people like Taylor Swift (tho’ West, however rude he was, was right to trash). Others like Mr. G. Still others? Well, they listen to Maneater by you-know-who…

    I do have to say though, I’ve listened to plenty of John Mayer songs, and on the whole, if I was going to go with a young white blues singer/guitarist, wouldn’t Johnny Lang be a better alternative to Mayer? I was pretty pissed off at Soundstage when they did that John Mayer/Buddy Guy segment. Talking about chewing scenery and taking away time listening to the best! I usually get chewed out by playing Joan Osbourne doing Bill Withers songs…

  23. As he has evolved over the years, he has become a much better guitarist. He now plays some mean blues — not at the same level as Buddy or SRV, but he is getting better.

    The fact he’s a misogynist pig does not negate the fact he now plays pretty well.

    Heck, has anyone ever listened to most blues lyrics? Most of it is pure “dick music” — filled with anti woman, pro abuse lyrics.

    Does anyone think B.B. is any better (or was any better in his younger days)?

    Mayer is a dick — but so are so many blues and jazz legends. If that was the only criteria, there would be no music I could listen to.

    (just a few examples: Pharaoh Sanders, Miles Davis, Winton Marsalis, B.B. King, etc., etc. At the Crossroads Guitar Festival held in Dallas by Clapton for his rehab, over the THREE DAYS of the festival they did not feature ONE female guitar player. The next one in Chicago did have some women featured — I guess they had to do it, too many complaints.)

  24. Doesn’t surprise me. I think John always felt insecure around women due to having to live in the shadow of Maggie. Edwina Currie didn’t help either.

  25. Goldnsilver, I would normally agree, except that Mayer has made it a habit of running his mouth off about politics. Even in the interview he mentions that his next album will be more political. He wrote that HORRIFIC song “Waiting for the World to Change.”

    If you don’t want to be Bono, fine with me (for the love of Jesus it is fine with me). But don’t try to have it both ways and only talk about politics when you want to, and act like a dick when someone else brings it up.

    Good point, fair enough. Didn’t know he was running his mouth and then getting uppity when people asked him questions ‘at a bad time’. What an arse.

  26. John Mayer is striving for the title of King of the Doucheweasels (thank you Kate!).

    He’s immature, rude and has a vastly over-inflated opinion of himself. My ass is more of a blues legend than he is.

  27. I have never heard of this person until now (and I’m someone who’s obsessed with music).

    I hope I never hear of this person again.

  28. Yeah I doubt if he had been inerviewed by a man who looked like he could easily kick his ass that he would have said any of that.

    But I do thin she handled herelf well because the transcript gives the impression she held herself together and ddn’t let him get to her. Which just really makes him look like an even bigger asshole because he failed to get under her skin.

  29. The comments… wow. No, people, this is NOT funny. It’s obnoxious and rude and disgusting. And absolutely unoriginal in every way. Oh, he’s got a record coming out about heartbreak, what a new concept! Nobody’s ever done that before!

    Fuck off, John Mayer. Leave the stage to people who can actually write and play, and shut the hell up.

  30. “Daughters” sealed it for me right there. I really wish his pan would finish flashing so I wouldn’t have to change the channel on my car radio when his mushy vocals come on the radio.

  31. I have never consciously participated in listening to a John Mayer song. I have probably heard his music, I’m sure, but my experience of him is limited to tabloids in my peripheral vision while in checkout lines. He was dating one of the cast of Friends or something.

    Maybe Mayer can form a band with Billy Bob Thornton, and they can write about the theme of the concept of being a assheads in interviews.

  32. Don’t like his music, but I think this interview can be interpreted in several ways: he’s kidding around and the reporter is in on the joke, or he’s being a creepy douche. OR it’s a bit of both.

    I don’t want to project on Christianna, but I’ve definitely had moments of “wow this is creepy, and will make for EXCELLENT copy!”

    It can also be hard to translate the general mood of an interview onto a page. The recent one I did, I got a sympathetic e-mail from a friend, saying something like, “oh man, that looked like it was HARD! He was antagonizing you!” Which wasn’t how I had felt during that interview at all; I’d really enjoyed myself.

    When you have a certain camaraderie with your subject, or if you just manage to catch them in an opportune moment, all sort of stuff can be said that will necessarily raise eyebrows. It’s what makes interviews so interesting, I think. The stuff being said can be horrific and it can also mean that you’re doing your job right.

    What’s hard is that you often can’t comment on how a particular interview went – if you want to keep working. It’s especially true if you’re a woman.

    I don’t know if Christianna just wanted to give him enough rope to hang himself with. I know I do that to people who piss me off, myself.

  35. and more reasons to hate John Mayer, 2 of his Grammy awards came at the expense of James Taylor. WTF? The grammies dis James T for the Mayer dork

  36. Agreed, Natalia, that Christinna handled the whole thing really beautifully. She came across as calm, funny and unruffled, and he just seemed like a dick.

  37. It seems like the person answering the questions is some little boy trying to sound tough and grown-up.

    That’s exactly it. What a jerk.

  38. As if these lyrics weren’t enough to make me barf…

    “So fathers, be good to your daughters
    Daughters will love like you do
    Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
    So mothers, be good to your daughters too”

    I also despise him and lose respect for people who like him… glad I’m not alone!

  39. Oh! I am SO happy that I’m not the only one who finds daughters creepy and just ugh. I’ve tried to explain it to my friends/families but they tell me I’m overreacting (ok, like we haven’t heard that before). Since then I just call it the Pedophilia Song.

  41. EVERY single one of Mayer’s responses is basically “you’re stupid, ask me a different question”. Except for a little bit of “let me spout vague, meaningless phrases about my new album” near the end. In my book, unless the reporter’s questions are outright offensive, you get maybe TWO of those snarky deflections, and then you have to start answering questions in good faith. Otherwise, why even agree to sit for interviews?

    And his attempts at snarky deflections ranged from unfunny to offensive — I would have expected them to come from a high school freshman.

  43. I do, for the record, rather like “Your Body Is A Wonderland” and “Bigger Than My Body” and a couple other John Mayer songs. It’s total cheesecake, but enjoyable cheesecake.

    I don’t like *him* though, even as a musician, largely because of that load-of-shit “Daughters” — oh, and also this one. It’s a habit for him.

    I can tell you this much
    I will marry just once
    And if it doesn’t work out
    Give her half of my stuff
    It’s fine with me
    We said eternity
    I will go to my grave
    With the love that I gave
    Not just some melody line
    On a radio wave
    It dissipates
    And soon evaporates
    But home life doesn’t change

  44. I’ve heard “Your Body is a Wonderland” described as the most irritating losing your virginity song since “In Your Eyes”. That’s about all the credit I’ll grant him.

  47. “So fathers, be good to your daughters
    Daughters will love like you do
    Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
    So mothers, be good to your daughters too”

    Oh, dear GODS, so *he’s* the one that wrote that craptastic tune! Aaaaaugh! I listened to the lyrics *once* and now change the channel any time it comes on, because obviously all women become mothers. And only mothers. And that’s the only reason to be good to your kids. And I cannot bear to listen to that crap one. more. time. *head/palm smack!* (And unfortunately, the tune — which is also inane — itself sticks in one’s head for freaking *ever*….)

    Inane. The interview was just inane in the “I’m too cool to answer your questions so I’m just gonna sit here and be an ass” kind of way. Like he couldn’t have said “I really don’t feel qualified to weigh in on that matter; can we move to something else?” Ass.

    Thank you, women of Feministe, for a) honing my skills for analyzing pieces of crap like that song, and b) identifying this idiot for me so I can avoidavoidavoid.

  48. As he has evolved over the years, he has become a much better guitarist. He now plays some mean blues — not at the same level as Buddy or SRV, but he is getting better.

    Buddy Guy is a name pretty much only because he runs an exploitive business in which he hocks a faux-black experience to tourists in Chicago who don’t want to be around black people that haven’t been paid to smile. SRV was a hell of a guitarist pretty much from the time he released his first album. Neither of those figures has anything to do with Mayer, though.

    Mayer is part of a pattern that has existed in American music for a long time. He’s a privileged white guy who is passingly proficient on a technical level with a certain genre of traditionally black music whose presence makes it OK for other privileged white people to listen to that music. He’s Elvis, Pat Boone, the Beatles before they started hitting the drugs hard. He’s non-threatening and middle of the road. Most importantly, he lacks the experience which contributes to what made the original music interesting in the first place. Listening to guys like Robert Johnson, Muddy Waters, and Howlin’ Wolf is interesting precisely because the emotional content of the music is raw and immediate. It is produced by flawed men who are singing from their own experiences and make music because it is something they simply cannot not do. John Mayer is to these men what riding on the It’s A Small World ride at Disneyland is to international travel.

    On another level, he’s a classic example of the virtuso without a soul. He is technically proficient, he can do some mildly impressive things with a guitar, but there is no emotional connection, no musical expression. Listening to a Mayer song is like watching someone rebuild a transmission, technically impressive but not exactly stimulating. Steve Vai, Joe Satriani, and Yngwe Malmsteen are all incredibly proficient guitarists technically, but they have skill without feeling. They have nothing to say. Mayer is no different.

  49. John Mayer is to these men [Robert Johnson, Muddy Waters, and Howlin’ Wolf] what riding on the It’s A Small World ride at Disneyland is to international travel.

    THANK YOU. I’m glad someone realizes the difference between being technically proficient and being a real blues player.

  50. Realistically most musicians are wankers.
    Springsteen went into music to get laid.
    Lennon once beat up a guy because “He called me a queer so I battered his bloody ribs in”
    Everybody knows “Amadeus’ was a creep.
    Don’t even mention Chris Brown.
    Mayer is a boyscout compared to some.

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