Feministe Feedback: Navigating Race in My New Neighborhood

30 thoughts on Feministe Feedback: Navigating Race in My New Neighborhood

1. Be responsible for yourself and keep in check the temptation to take on a leader’s role.

2. i think this is a very interesting post, so since there are no responses as of yet, i’ll go out on a limb and be the first.

   i’d actually start by referring the original poster to the livejournal community http://community.livejournal.com/debunkingwhite/ — a great community to read and discuss this question as well…

   as a fellow 20 something white woman who works to be consistently anti-racist and has considered similar questions of how to interact in a predominantly black urban community, i think your ideas sound on the right track.

   i think it is important that if we choose to live in these communities, we are willing to take account for the fact that we are in them the way they are, not just nest there until more white people move in and things change to be more cafe friendly etc. i think you should attend the community meetings and events. and be willing to answer questions or face potential hostility due to your identity as a privileged white woman… and most importantly be prepared to listen. listen to your neighbors, let them be leaders with your support as needed. take initiative but also take direction.

   would love to hear how it goes!

3. It’s going to be hard to not look like a proponent of gentrification when you’re gentrifying.

4. stock up on beer for the porch party

5. Interesting question. She doesn’t say, exactly, why she and her husband are moving there – although I get the impression, multiple protestations aside, that there is definitely an element of the “the white girl that wants to save the black people.” involved, she just doesn’t want to be *perceived* as such.

   Anyway, I am far from an expert on this topic, but my advice would be this… move in, and don’t join a thing. Not the block walking parties or committees or anything. Nothing. (Okay, maybe a church, if she is so inclined, but I wouldn’t join that either, if it’s a predominantly Black church.) Particularly if she is relatively well off and has other options for housing in other parts of the city, but is choosing to move into this area for whatever purpose – not-gentrification or not-saving the black people, or whatever.

   What I would do, instead, is for a time get to know my neighbors – as neighbors, not as fellow activists, savers or sufferers or “the community” -, the store clerks – whatever or whoever else is there, that makes sense to get to know in any neighborhood and then go from there. It won’t be too long before one of her new friends finds out she’s interested in the health and safety of the neighborhood (as a friend and resident, not a savior or activist or white lady) and invites her to a porch/block party, or to meet other like minded folks, and soon she’ll be folded into just the general neighborhood community, with all the attendant risks and rewards.

6. Nanette, as someone who just bought a house in a predominantly black neighborhood, I can tell you we bought here because it was one of the few neighborhoods we could afford where we also felt like there was still very much a feeling of people knowing their neighbors and looking out for each other. So maybe there is an element of economic necessity involved.

   to the woman seeking advice:
   We’ve mostly just gotten to know the people on the block, my husband more than I because I commute during the week. I think there is a community group but we haven’t joined it. When our neighbor died my husband went to the funeral, because he talked to the guy every day for a year and missed him. So…I don’t really have any advice for you on joining groups, because we haven’t. There is a community garden on the street that I try to make it to tidyings and plantings of, and when the 7th Day Adventists come by to convert me we chat, but that’s about it. Other than the kids who like to play basketball on my wall whom I occasional yell at.

   @Matt–oh, come on. Yes, I am very much aware that my presence in the neighborhood might cause some tension because I am white and thus “gentrifying,” but the family we bought the house from was double-lawyer (both working), the husband was the son of the former mayor, they were basically the SUV owning typical American family who make about five times as much cash as my husband and I.

7. also:

   Be prepared for some tense moments, and be aware that people usually appreciate frank dialogue on the subject more than you’d think. The day after we moved in I was alone in the house at night and two guys came to knock on the door. I didn’t recognize them and didn’t open the door (no safety chain and I just moved from the bad part of Bed-Sty in NYC). They were annoyed and said “You don’t have to be afraid just because we’re black.”
   I was flustered and said before I thought about it “I don’t give a crap if you’re black, it has to do with you being strange men!” They laughed, identified which house they were from and why they were there, I opened the door and it was ok.

8. Chava “as someone who just bought a house in a predominantly black neighborhood, I can tell you we bought here because it was one of the few neighborhoods we could afford”

   Her reasons for moving are really none of my business, except in the context of her question. Still, she appears to be moving not only into a Black neighborhood, but a bad neighborhood (they are not synonymous) and not only that, but on to the worst street in the bad neighborhood. But not until August. It absolutely could be economic necessity and she just wants to make the best of a bad situation which might (if this is the case) make some difference in how she is perceived by her neighbors, but it doesn’t really sound like it (most people I know who move into neighborhoods like that out of necessity are on their last days of a 3 day or eviction notice but “necessity” is relative, most likely.)

   Either way, I’d still give the same advice.

9. i semi-agree with Nanette inthat it isn’t your place to come in and interject yourself in the dynamics of the neighborhood. If you do want to go to community association meetings, or other neighborhood activist meetings, be there & be silent. You should just sit & and learn about the issues and personalities of the neighborhood and talk one-on-one with your neighbors, but don’t ever assume you ‘share’ the same issues. You don’t. You’re there by choice & the needs of the neighborhood have been set by history & personalities you are unaware of.

   This comes from being a Puerto Rican in Baltimore who lived ona block in the city where I was one of 3 non-African-Americans and I learned that the neighborhood took care of itself without my ‘help.’

10. I definitely agree with not putting yourself in a leadership role. Frankly, I really think (following on Nanette) that if you continue to think of yourself as a community organizer in the making you are bound to end up doing exactly what you’re trying to avoid.

    I see no harm in joining community groups as long as you do so without an agenda–do it because it’s what you would do when you move into any new neighborhood. Otherwise, forget it.

    Basically I agree with Manju. Be a good neighbor, be friendly (but not obnoxious), bring the beer, and it will likely all work out okay.

11. Yeah, what are you thinking trying to proactively get involved in the community? That’s crazy!

12. Yeah, Nanette’s advice is right on. There’s no reason to be all charged up about joining things or being an activist for the neighborhood when you first move in.

    Community organizing is great, but you won’t be a part of the community when you first get there, and you can’t force the issue.

    Get to know the neighborhood and the people who live there just be living there yourself, as a regular person. With time, you’ll be able to see what activities and groups it makes sense for you to participate in–and, as Nanette said, if you’re being a good neighbor, you’ll be invited to those things.

13. What I would do, instead, is for a time get to know my neighbors – as neighbors,

    Nanette’s right.

    And look – anywhere you move, regardless of the neighbourhood, who lives there, how different or similar you are to the majority of your neighbours, your first order of business is to settle in and make friends or acquaintances, no? I think anything else at that point would feel a little… odd. Or off. Or however you want to call it.

14. Gotta get on Nanette’s bandwagon—get to know your neighbors as neighbors. Jumping right in with both feet before you have your boxes unpacked is going to look “pushy”. Don’t worry about how you are perceived. Most people are going to judge you by your actions, regardless of initial assumptions.

15. I’m a teacher at a Brooklyn, NY high school with a high poverty level. The neighborhood is quickly gentrifying–I participate in this as well as a middle class white resident of the neighborhood–but we are always looking for people to volunteer in tutoring programs at the school on a regular basis. I sure wish all the recent college grads that have been moving in would devote two mornings a week to come and help out at our school. You might reach out to local schools to see if they have established programs that need volunteers.

    Other than that, I echo what spike said. If you want to get involved, don’t feel the need to be a leader. Just listen and give help when asked.

16. Rosasharn, do you not get it? A white newcomer in a neighborhood that is mostly POC taking a leadership role is reinforcing historical racist power structures. While not completely analogous, it’s sort of like a guy heady on feminism coming in and running for president of the local NOW chapter.

17. Hi, I’m the one who asked the question. Thank you all for your advice. I can see how just getting to know people and not trying to force myself into anything, especially right off the bat, is the best idea.

    Just to clarify, since some people expressed concern: The reason we’re moving there is because we know the landlords and the person who lives downstairs (it’s a duplex) is a long-time friend of my husband’s. We’re moving there with my bro-in-law to save money, because we’re living paycheck to paycheck and while we’re not below the poverty line, we still struggle to make sure we get all of our bills paid and can’t afford much in terms of housing. The option we were considering before this was a studio for the two of us to share downtown. The deciding factor ended up being the discounted rent for knowing the downstairs tenant, and the size of the house. It’s huge. We had no intention of even looking in the area until we found out that it was remodled and less expensive than we thought it would be.

    We move in August because that’s when our current lease ends.

    Thank you all for your suggestions!

18. Where does she say she wants to take on a leadership role? All she says is she wants to get involved in community organizing and meet her neighbors. In fact, she seems to be saying she wants to avoid any type of leadership role – she just wants to be as involved as any other resident. Apparently since she’s white she should just stay home and shut up, or preferably move to a neighborhood where more people have her skin color?

    That analogy doesn’t fit. It’s really more like a guy getting heady on feminism, trying to go to a NOW meeting, and having all the female members tell him he needs to go through quarantine where he’s not allowed to participate for a few months because he’s not a woman.

19. Apparently since she’s white she should just stay home and shut up, or preferably move to a neighborhood where more people have her skin color?

    That analogy doesn’t fit. It’s really more like a guy getting heady on feminism, trying to go to a NOW meeting, and having all the female members tell him he needs to go through quarantine where he’s not allowed to participate for a few months because he’s not a woman.

    It’s not this at all. The issue is that if you’re moving to a new community, you’re not automatically part of it. You don’t know the people, you don’t have an immediate sense of what the issues are or who the local players are. It’s not about being white, it’s about being new and acknowledging that there are factors at issue here beyond your control (i.e., the racial makeup of the community). You want to be a part of the community? You act like it: you chat with the neighbors, meet their kids, lend and borrow sugar, ask what’s going on with X issue that you’ve heard mentioned a couple of times, attend a community gathering, listen to others, etc.

    Personally, I think the racial element is secondary to being a good neighbor, rather than a hyperactive do-gooder with good intentions.

    Do we need to link to the MAD TV sketch about the nice white lady?

20. Do we need to link to the MAD TV sketch about the nice white lady?

    Even if we don’t need to, can we anyway?

21. Something seems a little off in the description to me. The neighborhood is bad, the block in particular is bad, but they have very involved neighbors on the block with porch parties, etc. In my experience the blocks with the freindly neighbors who know and visist each other tend to be the relatively safe blocks in bad neighborhoods. Perhaps it is just a little exageration for effect.

    I’m living a similar situation, except my neighborhood is largely Mexican, with a strong Puerto Rican element as well. I think the advice to just get to know your neighbors and give them an opportunity to know you is important.

22. Hi, original question-asker here. Just wanted to address some recurring questions (sorry if this seems repetitive; I posted earlier, but either something went wrong, or I’m stuck in moderation):

    We weren’t originally considering the neighborhood in our search for a new apartment this summer, and were actually looking at really cheap studios downtown to save money (we both live paycheck-to paycheck and he’s in school part time, so money’s tight). We were made aware of the duplex because my husband has been good friends with the guy that lives downstairs since childhood, and the landlords will give us a $100 discount since we know him. We’re moving with my husband’s brother to save more money. The reason is purely economical, and the upstairs unit that we’d be renting was just remodeled, huge, and a great space overall. It is an added bonus to live upstairs from someone we know well. I assure you, no saving-people complex entered into the equation.

    In my experience the blocks with the freindly neighbors who know and visist each other tend to be the relatively safe blocks in bad neighborhoods.

    That’s true about this situation as well. When I say the intersection it’s on, I get cringes and warnings, but to hear from the landlord about all the neighbors trying to keep it a safe place to live, it starts to look up. I think (hope) it is largely an undeserved bad reputation, but it’s still a very high-crime area in general.

    Thank you everyone for your suggestions. I can definitely see the benefit of just listening and not trying to throw myself into anything right away.

23. I agree with evil_fizz: “Personally, I think the racial element is secondary to being a good neighbor, rather than a hyperactive do-gooder with good intentions.”

    I think the whole question is a bit othering. People are people, and while there are distinctive backgrounds and experiences, the best way to understand those is to get to know individual people, not request a tutorial. Coming to a feminist website will get her a number of conflicting responses and much less substance than simply spending time in her neighborhood will.

24. I agree with most of the people saying that simply being a good neighbor is best. I don’t really get all the hand wringing over whether to join a community group or not though. If you’re interested in joining a community group, then I think you should. Joining one can be problematic for lots of reasons, but I think there are some perfectly good reasons to join too. I think as long as you made it clear why you were there (you’re new to the neighborhood and like to be involved in your community), and did much more listening than talking, it would be fine.

25. I’m the original question-asker– I keep trying to post responses, and I see them in moderation, but then they disappear. Help?

    I’ll try one more time:

    To address concerns over why we’re moving here, it’s for mostly economic reasons. We’re actually moving with my brother-in-law, too, to save money, The landlord is giving us a $100 discount for knowing the downstairs tenant (it’s a duplex) so it worked out the best. I just want to be a part of the community once I’m there without making a giant amount of avoidable but obvious mistakes, you know?

    I promise, there was no saving-people-complex involved.

    Also,

    Something seems a little off in the description to me. The neighborhood is bad, the block in particular is bad, but they have very involved neighbors on the block with porch parties, etc. In my experience the blocks with the freindly neighbors who know and visist each other tend to be the relatively safe blocks in bad neighborhoods. Perhaps it is just a little exageration for effect.

    That’s a good point, and what I’ve found to be true so far. The neighborhood, and block/intersection, have a terrible reputation, but when we checked out the place the other day, I noticed that it wasn’t nearly as bad as I’d anticipated. I certainly didn’t fear for my life or anything. It IS a high-crime area, but I think it’s more of an undeserved reputation than fact. I’m most concerned about the neighborly relations and possible tension, and bringing up the “badness” of the neighborhood was only meant to illustrate the need for community action and working together to make the neighborhood safe for everyone.

26. Here is an article that discusses this issue: http://www.brooklynrail.org/2009/05/local/saying-hi-in-bed-stuy

    It seems like Bed-Stuy in NYC is a site where whites are considering the impact their presence could have on this historically-black neighborhood, and where blacks are considering what it means to have a new influx of whites.

    Anyway, the article suggests that friendliness is key to establishing good relationships in any new neighborhood.

    I have had similar experiences. The historically-black neighborhood of Seattle, The Central District, has always been home to the marginalized groups of the city. It was first settled by Jews, and when they moved on blacks settled there (and were the subject of racist red-lining policies). Now in addition to long-time black families, there are Horn of Africa immigrant families, Asian families, Latino families, and queer households. Now, suddenly developers and upwardly-mobile straight white couples are realizing the Central District is desirable and the predictable gentrification is in progress.

    I recall when I first moved to one of the CD’s longstanding queer households, my white friends told me it was a “bad part of town”. I found it no more crime-ridden than the gayborhood of Capitol Hill or the student-populated University District. I hope I’m wrong, but it seems that when a white person calls a neighborhood “bad”, what they really mean is “populated by POC”.

27. Hi there. There’s a response to the article linked in 26 here at Having Read The Fine Print….She’s kind of troubled by the white discourse on gentrification for some pretty good reasons. I’ve been kind of trying to read and sit with all the stuff she links.

28. I think that, beyond generally being friendly and taking opportunities to get to know folks, the best thing you can do is trust that your neighbors will give you a chance. While it is critical to be aware of race privilege, it is also important to realize that, yes, black and brown people often DO want to know you beyond your skin color, just as you want to know them. It takes time to become a part of a community, of course, and it takes longer when difference is present, but it does no good to be overcome with anxiety about this difference.

29. Don’t worry about it, people are people. Join or start any group or activity that makes sense. Have fun, meet your new neighbors.

30. Tracy seems to offer the best advice. Just go about your life without worrying too much about it. Living in close proximity, your neighbors will soon realize that you’re not much different than they are. You work, pay your bills and try to have fun in the meantime.

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