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Feministe’s Next Top Troll, March Madness Edition – Elite Eight, Bracket One

Jill

It’s March Madness, Feministe-style. We’ve narrowed down our latest trolls from 16 to 8; those eight are divided into four brackets. Vote for your favorites in Bracket One now. Potentially triggering troll comments below the image.



Truth?

Maybe Obama will legalize prostitution. Think of the money the hookers will make and the money the baby killers will make! It could turn our economy around.

I mean we might as well start breeding as soon as they can so we can kill the babies and call it “choice” or (my personal favorite) “a women’s choice”. And the teenagers are how old? Here’s a choice, keep your legs together. Or in the case of rape, kill the rapist. Oh… I’m sorry, the baby’s not innocent are they. They are the guilty ones, how dare them to try to be born! YOU LIBERALS ARE SENDING AMERICA TO HELL! Honestly! Please move!

I don’t want you ungodliness (and please don’t tell me you are a believer like Obama does and murder babies) or your ignorance to rub off.

I guess we will turn the war on terror back on the babies of the women who can’t “Just say NO”. And my tax money will be spent on teaching young girls to sleep with every guy the meet and call it “Planned Parenthood”. REALLY? We are teaching them to be Parents? Let’s see. Kill your child, don’t get married and go get pregnant again and do the same thing. And YOU PEOPLE think the abstinence believers are wrong? UNBELIEVABLE.

Well the ignorance of America will be confirmed this week when we officially become an Obamanation.

VERSUS

Eliza:

Oh girls, you are so against the male race it is ridiculous! Men naturally have different senses of humor. What is wrong with sexism anyway? We are both different sexes! Making fun of our differences is a way to humorize them, it isn’t indicating that one sex is better than the other. Back before feminism became fanatic and abusive towards the male sex, I’m sure many housewives that did their family’s laundry (including their husband’s) didn’t despise and hate her husband for doing it, she was supporting him while he was helping to provide for her and her family. If more fanatic feminists stopped trying to feminize the male community and masculinize the female community we, (this whole country and over) would be in a far better situation.

(Ignore the blank buttons, please — I messed up the poll. Just click the button next to the troll you like, and then click “VOTE”):

30 thoughts on Feministe’s Next Top Troll, March Madness Edition – Elite Eight, Bracket One

  3. I vote for Truth, but there’s something funky with the poll. I don’t know if I’m voting by just clicking on the little button. And there are two extra buttons with no choices.

  6. Damn, this one was hard. But ‘Truth’ wins out, I like a little unhinged CAPITALISATION in my trolls.

  7. I had to vote for Truth? All other things being equal, nothing makes me giggle (in a way that is totally consistent with the male race, thank you! NTTAWWT) quite like the half-literate ranting of a religious nut convinced–CONVINCED, I tell you–that we are all going straight into the deepest burning pit of molten agony and dragging his God-fearing, commandment-following, stain-resisting, not-abortion-having, abstinence-observing, heaven-bound soul with us. Oh, the humanity!

    I can just imagine him/her falling back into a lounge, silken handkerchief clutched in a pale hand, saying, “Oh, oh my–I’ve gotten the vapours”.

    (And yes, she/he would say it with that ‘u’ in there. Somehow. )

  10. It is actually getting harder to choose in the elite section. But I had to go with Truth:

    Clinchers: “We might as well start breeding as soon as they can….” who is “we” and “they” here? Is this just a simple agreement problem, or is “we” men and “they” girls? “…the baby’s not innocent are they.” suggests Truth? may not understand agreement (or the kind of punctuation to use in the case of questions), but the first sentence could also indicate a universalizing of particular perspectives… both interpretations are oh so tempting…

    The distinction between “choice” and “a women’s choice” with the latter being disfavored invokes the same issues as above. Truth? does not understand agreement, and/or Truth? thinks choice simpliciter refers to men’s choices? Nice!

    I love, “How dare them try to be born” which is both ungrammatical and imputes agency and volition to something without consciousness. Awesome!

    Finally, Truth? implies that feminists want to teach young girls to sleep with every guy “the meet.” Yeah… feminism has been working hard to make teenage girls sexually available to every guy “the meet.” That’s right…

  12. Hmm, I knew it was going to be tougher at this level, now that we have separated the wheat from the chaff.

    I have to go with Truth? because he insults everyone from the President on down to the innocent baybeez, while Eliza just insults herself. Plus this specific gem of nonsense simply wins me over:

    “I guess we will turn the war on terror back on the babies of the women who can’t “Just say NO”. ”

    Huh?

  16. I would bet good money that Truth? is one of those guys that said “if Obama wins, I’m moving to Canada.” Weeell we don’t want him. We will take the liberal babykilling prostitutes, though. After all, they will stimulate the economy.

  19. Bakka,
    I think Truth? didn’t mean to make a distinction between (men’s) choice and women’s choice. I understand he believes people who abort are all teenagers and teenagers are not women yet (it’s not men and women, it’s children, tweens, teens, women, and elderly women), or something like that. See:

    “…and call it ‘choice’ or (my personal favorite) ‘a women’s choice’. And the teenagers are how old?”

    —

    And, even if I love Truth?’s ramblings, I had to vote for Eliza. She seems so understanding of the “male race” and how they have different “senses” of humor! Not to mention sexism is ok because well, we are different sexes! That’s why racism is ok if you make fun of different races, right?

  20. Ha, ha, ha… “if Obama wins I’m moving to Canada” that may seem like a good idea for Republicans (given our conservative gov’t up here) but here we don’t even have an abortion law. That means abortion is like anything else that is not covered by laws…. totally legal (at any stage of pregnancy)! It is also funded by tax dollars, though still there are access problems…. We now have one of the most conservative governments we’ve ever had, and they are still afraid of touching abortion by implementing laws. I don’t think we are the haven Republicans are looking for. I mean, same-sex marriage is legal here… and it hasn’t even destroyed the country.

  21. It was close, but I think Truth? wins. The general rambling, switching frantically between unrelated ideas nature of it, and the idea of thinking that “Keep your legs together!” is the ultimate anti-choice argument. There’s just so much pure win here…

  22. I went with Truth? for this one. Eliza tries hard but winds up coming across as someone’s dotty old grandmother delivering a finger-wagging lecture, while Truth? is full-blown gonzo off-the-hook insane.

  23. How would killing the rapist take care of the victim’s desire to NOT have her rapist’s baby?

    Duh, you kill the rapist before he commits the rape. Pre-emptive capital punishment. Think “Minority Report.”

  24. Truth? wins. I like some religious wingnuttery and ‘what about the unborn baybeeez?!!11’ with my trolls.

  25. Truth? definitely wins. I think it might have been written by my mom. It sounds an awful lot like the emails she is always sending me.

  27. Eliza just seemed kind of nicey-nice. Truth?, on the other hand, was just a boatload of crazy.

  28. I voted for Eliza because of the beautiful observation that “sexism is okay because we are different sexes.” Good one Eliza! See, if we were all the same sex, sexism would be wrong. But it’s NOT!

    Truth?’s “just say NO” comment made my insides writhe a little though… maybe I voted too soon?

  29. Oh girls! Can’t we go back to the days before we became abusers of the male race? Truth?’s fool-proof logic came close, but I can’t resist the sweetly patronizing Girls!

  30. This one was actually quite close for me. Eliza really touched my buttons as a colluder. These kinds of women really get on my last nerves but in the end I have to give it to Truth for all out hatred of women.

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