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“Compromise” on Same-Sex Marriage

Apparently it’s a good compromise to allow same-sex couples the same basic benefits as straight couples, while enshrining into the law the right of organizations to discriminate against gays and lesbians.

The authors, one of whom works for a religious group and the other of whom favors marriage equality, argue that we need to compromise now so that we can re-visit this issue in a few years, when the discourse is “calmer.” Here’s the compromise:

It would work like this: Congress would bestow the status of federal civil unions on same-sex marriages and civil unions granted at the state level, thereby conferring upon them most or all of the federal benefits and rights of marriage. But there would be a condition: Washington would recognize only those unions licensed in states with robust religious-conscience exceptions, which provide that religious organizations need not recognize same-sex unions against their will. The federal government would also enact religious-conscience protections of its own. All of these changes would be enacted in the same bill.

The tricky language comes in when they say that “religious organizations need not recognize same-sex unions against their will.” The First Amendment covers religious freedom pretty well, and I’d be very surprised if any place of worship was forced to perform same-sex marriages. But they want to go further than that:

But religious organizations are also involved in many activities outside the sanctuary. What if a church auxiliary or charity is told it must grant spousal benefits to a secretary who marries her same-sex partner or else face legal penalties for discrimination based on sexual orientation or marital status? What if a faith-based nonprofit is told it will lose its tax-exempt status if it refuses to allow a same-sex wedding on its property?

What if those things happened? I say bring it on. If you’re getting huge tax breaks from the government — tax breaks that are subsidized by all tax-payers, not just the straight ones — then sorry, but no, you don’t get to discriminate in your hiring and workplace practicies. But here’s the kicker:

Linking federal civil unions to guarantees of religious freedom seems a natural way to give the two sides something they would greatly value while heading off a long-term, take-no-prisoners conflict. That should appeal to cooler heads on both sides, and it also ought to appeal to President Obama, who opposes same-sex marriage but has endorsed federal civil unions. A successful template already exists: laws that protect religious conscience in matters pertaining to abortion. These statutes allow Catholic hospitals to refuse to provide abortions, for example. If religious exemptions can be made to work for as vexed a moral issue as abortion, same-sex marriage should be manageable, once reasonable people of good will put their heads together.

Heh.


24 thoughts on “Compromise” on Same-Sex Marriage

  1. In a word, I say, “bullshit.”

    1: It ignores the whole fucking history that the whole drive to get “marriage protection” statutes and amendments on the books kicked off in the early ’90s in response to domestic-partnerships and child custody. States like Ohio where marriage was not even on the horizon moved against domestic partnership benefits offered by employers. Many of the laws and amendments that ended up on the books either explicitly or implicitly attacked domestic partnerships.

    2: Religious institutions would not be affected by any current same-sex partnership anyway.

  2. They are looking to compromise because they see the long-term trend going against them. When Dr. Dean signed civil unions into law in Vermont, there were death threats. Now, some conservatives are jumping up to offer civil unions as a compromise. I’m confident that my children, if they so choose, will be legally permitted to marry whomever they love if they are so inclined.

    We may not be far from the day when marriage is an equal right from the Delaware River to the North Pole. Canada, Connecticut and Massachusetts are there; New York would be but for typical Albany bullshit, New Jersey is close. Nail down RI and Northern New England and it’s done.

  3. “But there would be a condition: Washington would recognize only those unions licensed in states with robust religious-conscience exceptions, which provide that religious organizations need not recognize same-sex unions against their will.”

    Eew, the smell of bullshit is nauseous in the morning. How is this any different than the status quo? Of course religious organizations have the right not to recognize every marriage. The whole underlying message here is that LGBT activists are anti-religious bigots, and only sensible moderate-rightists like Rauch can save marriage equality.

  4. Oh, right. So they’ll give us the rights to hospital visitation and decision-making powers, as long as we uphold the right of the hospital to not recognize the legal relationship on which they’re based, and thus deny it to us.

    Fill in the blanks and repeat with pretty much every right involved.

    Compromise, my ass. I do not think it means what they think it means.

  5. Kyra, it means exactly what they think it does. Just like bipartisanship. “You annoying subhumans shut up and we’ll keep stomping on you. Maybe a little less if our feet get sore. Then you get to rub them.”

    Thrilling.

  6. SHORTER COMPROMISE: “We will grant you all the rights of full citizens, providing we can then completely ignore those rights and continue to discriminate the fuck out of you.”

  7. I like the abortion comparison they made, because I made parallels to abortion laws while I was reading this post. Anti-choice legislators introduce and pass abortion restrictions that are basically useless. Take the Partial-Birth Abortion Ban Act. There’s a “compromise.” That’s a useless piece of legislation that makes it like intact D&E abortions are common. They never accounted for even 1% of abortions in the United States, and while I can’t prove to you that the rate of intact D&E abortions didn’t change because of this law, I’d bet a lot of money on it. So it’s the same with this gay marriage thing. Religious institutions are already allowed to deny marriages to couples that they deem unfit to marry. My brothers friends wanted to get married at a particular Catholic church, but they weren’t allowed to because the bride-to-be was pregnant. Big deal. They got married at a different church (I think they still got married at a Catholic church anyway). Nobody has to recognize anybody’s marriage. Only the law has to. So this “compromise” is useless.

  8. Even shorter compromise:

    Abolish marriage. Why is the state involved in what is, in most cases, an explicitly religious arrangement?

    Specialized contracts can cover the whole institution — and people should be allowed to enter contracts with any other person or persons they want to.

  9. So, let me understand this. The “compromise” is that LGBT folks who can’t currently legally marry would get to be legally married, unless a religious person in hearing range would be offended, at which point they get downgraded to “civil unioned”.

    Would homophobic atheists also have this special power to downgrade same-sex marriages? Or do you only get to stomp on the rights of others if you say Jesus made you do it?

  10. Thank you. This op-ed surprised me in its obtuseness. Seriously, insofar as churches are acting as employers, they should have to follow employment law. If employment laws in the future include spousal benefits for same-sex partners, churches don’t have any excuse for refusing to pay those. If they don’t want to deal with that, they should get volunteers to do the job. It’s their own Jesus who said, “Render to Caesar what is Caesar’s…”

  11. I don’t know. I think moves in this direction could be quite progressive.

    The key point is it’s legal (and in some cases obligatory) to discriminate based on marial status in favour of married people and against the unmarried. Why should organizations be forced to provide pension or insurance benefits, for example, to their employees spouses? I think it would be fine we allowed private organizations the right not to recognise their employees marriages if they so want.

    “I say bring it on. If you’re getting huge tax breaks from the government — tax breaks that are subsidized by all tax-payers, not just the straight ones — then sorry, but no, you don’t get to discriminate in your hiring and workplace practicies.”

    Jill, you can’t argue this while at the same time saying these organizations should be forced to treat their married employees preferentially. Because that’s also discrimination, and they’re subsidized by all tax-payers, not just the married ones.

    That’s the big problem with same-sex marriage advocates: they’re passionately opposed to discrimination based on sexual orientation, and passionately in favour of discrimination based on marital status. I’m not sure that’s a particularly coherent position.

  12. Yes, to Tom Foolery. That seems like the best arrangement. Everyone gets a civil union if they want to enter into a state-recognized relationship. People who then want to take the extra step to get married can do so, but the ceremony confers no special rights.

    James (11), I run the risk of being disingenuous in saying that your argument is disingenuous, but you seem to be saying:

    1) Gay couples wish to have their relationships recognized by the government in the same, official way in which straight couples do (this is currently covered under a catch-all of marriage).

    2) The US favors married couples over unmarried couples (as demonstrated in multiple ways, such as visitation rights, taxes, etc).

    so

    3) The gay community favors married couples over unmarried couples.

    And, if 3 is true, then the gay community must favor discrimination based on marital status, as you’ve put it.

    The main problem with that is that it just doesn’t seem to add up. The syllogism doesn’t bear out to a logical conclusion.

  13. That’s the big problem with same-sex marriage advocates: they’re passionately opposed to discrimination based on sexual orientation, and passionately in favour of discrimination based on marital status. I’m not sure that’s a particularly coherent position.

    Well, unless of course we can find some distinction between innate sexual orientation and a voluntary contract entered into by two consenting adults. But where to start looking, I have no idea.

  14. “Jill, you can’t argue this while at the same time saying these organizations should be forced to treat their married employees preferentially. Because that’s also discrimination, and they’re subsidized by all tax-payers, not just the married ones.”

    that’s not at all the issue. the point is that religious institutions are given tax exempt status because… because they just are, this is a religious country, (i think it’s silly that they are but, hey..) by allowing institutions, even if they’re religious, to discriminate based on sexual orientation or gender identity, is unconstitutional to site politicians own hypocrisy, and more importantly it is just WRONG.

    i do somewhat agree with your point that marriage is a skewed institution, but it will never go away. in my mind the reason that married people get benefits is that the ‘family’ unit, which to our govenment can only mean a hetero-marriage and kids, is the basis of society in the eyes of our leaders. allowing and giving full equal rights and benefits to non-heterosexual marriages is the first step to breaking down the idea of the traditional nuclear family as the only type of family, which i support. the fact that our government allows any institution to discriminate is wrong, and what is even worse is that such institutions are allowed to do so and get to pay no taxes because they are ‘religious’ which is ridiculous, churches are business, they sell faith and make a profit, even if the goal is not financial. they should not be allowed to discriminate against anyone anymore than a business, school or anyother institution can.

  15. Tom Foolery – are you seriously asking why the state is involved in marriage, in a discussion about LGBT folks should give up to get the 200+ legal rights and responsibilities of civil marriage?

    The problem here is not that legal marriage is inherently religious, because it’s not. (If anything, across history and cultures, it’s been an economic arrangement.) The problem is that fundies are claiming it is, and using this to justify denying it to couples based on what’s in their pants. And as long as we accept their framing of this issue, we’re going to have a harder fight for social acceptance.

  16. I might disagree with you, Jill. It all depends on the exact wording of the “robust religious exemption” provision. I emailed a question about that to the authors, and one of them (the pro-equal marriage one) responded that he imagines that the details would be left up to the individual states. If he’s right about that, then the actual religious exemptions might end up being broad and sucky in Georgia and Florida, and pretty narrow in New York and Massachusetts.

    And, really, how is that different than it is now? If a Church in Florida right now wants to discriminate by not offering equal medical care to their queer employees’ families, they have the legal right to do that.

    And the benefits of federal recognition of civil unions are pretty huge. For example, I think the cruelest homophobic law in the US right now, is that our federal immigration law keeps apart same-sex couples where one is foreign born. This “compromise” would give couples in that situation a way around the problem. There are lots of other areas of Federal law — social security survivors benefits is a big one, taxes another, survivorship another — where this law could help people.

    If this was saying that we’d have to give up on fighting for full marriage equality, I’d laugh at it and say not on your fucking life. But it doesn’t say that; it’s just suggesting that we move to a different status quo while we continue the marriage fight. And I think it’s a status quo that would actually be better for many same-sex couples who could use more equality under federal law.

    Two more points: This would pull out the rug from under the nonsensical “teh gays will force your church to hold gay weddings” argument, which would be good for us. And I think it would be a stepping stone towards a universal federal civil union law — so that even people living in Texas and other states that are decades away from state civil unions (let alone marriage), could get recognized federally and gain those benefits.

    I think a lot of it may depend on how far away you think we are from full equal marriage rights. If you think it’s just around the corner, then a compromise like this makes no sense. If you think, like me, that it’s just around the corner in some states but decades away for the country as a whole, then I think a proposal like this, which could add substantially to people’s legal rights until we have full equality, is worth considering.

  17. Amp, the article itself says, “The federal government would also enact religious-conscience protections of its own. All of these changes would be enacted in the same bill.” That doesn’t sound like leaving it up to the states…

  18. “Jill, you can’t argue this while at the same time saying these organizations should be forced to treat their married employees preferentially. Because that’s also discrimination, and they’re subsidized by all tax-payers, not just the married ones.”

    Not exactly. Laws treat people differently based on their circumstances. That’s not necessarily discriminatory in the sense that “anti-discrimination law” uses the word. I agree that stuff like health benefits should be divorced from marital status, but that’s a different issue.

    The problem here is that “marriage” is defined to exclude permanent householding partnerships between two people of the same gender. This is discrimination against gay people. They cannot enter into the institution of marriage, and their identical circumstances are excluded from the protection that straight people enjoy as couples.

    The issue here is that this discriminatory legislation may change, but religious bigots want an exemption from progress. They want to be able to discriminate against certain marriages–or recognized partnerships–that would be legally valid.

  19. “Compromise used to mean that half a loaf was better than no bread. Among modern statesmen it really seems to mean that half a loaf is better than a whole loaf.”

  20. I don’t know what to think about this. On the one hand, several people here have raised good points about the problems with this compromise. On the other hand, I just was reading about how a similar “compromise” in France has actually been enthusiastically embraced by heterosexual couples as well, since many people seem to be disenchanted with the baggage that traditional marriage and expectations and legal crap entails.

    Apparently, the civil union arrangement there consists of two people (of the same sex or opposite sex) filing a petition that results in the couple being formally recognized as a unit in most of the same ways as a married couple. If they decide to call it quits, they file another petition to dissolve the partnership and there are no property/alimony/etc. consequences. In other words, they handle the breakup and division of property the way many co-habitating straight and gay couples have always done, sometimes well and sometimes messy. I think this non-religious/less legal BS option is very appealing, and apparently many straight couples have embraced it, showing (again? still?) that the social constructions around formal/long-term/economic/romantic partnership and commitment are ever-evolving.

    I say separate the legal recognition and benefits from the religious mess and let people choose what kind of “marriage” fits for them. Of course, underneath all the moral hand-wringing and Bible-quoting and predictions of decay and ruin is probably a lot of financial concern that more folks would then be eligible for benefits and health care and lots of other things that gee, shouldn’t most people have access to regardless of marital status? But then that’ s a whole ‘nother kettle of fish…

  21. They need a shitload of work to stop this. History shows us that progress happens eventually. Stopping it is all but impossible. It may not happen on our schedule, but it will happen.

    They need a miricle. All we need is patience.

  22. so let’s say my two good ladyfriends get married, and then one of them gets in the hospital. Say my friend goes to A Very Religious Hospital (we have one where I live that is actively prolife, for instance)… so according to this proposed law, could the hospital decide that my friends aren’t married and can’t see each other, sign papers for the other, etc etc?

    i’m really confused. 🙁

  23. Tom Foolery, that “specialized contracts” you mention is exactly what I call marriage. I can get married because my partner is the opposite sex, even though we are both atheists. So how is marriage an explicitly religious arrangement?

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