In defense of the sanctimonious women's studies set || First feminist blog on the internet

God, somebody tell me why: Bridesmaids

So last night, we rented Bridesmaids. We were already there at the Redbox, it was right there in front of us, and it was supposed to be a hilarious and heartwarming romp, right? It got critical accolades, it got 90 percent on Rotten Tomatoes–it should be a laff riot, right?

Holy shit, Batman.

Bridesmaids is easily one of the worst movies I’ve seen this decade. The characters were flat, the plot was contrived, and the pacing was miserable. The movie is what I like to call “emotional slapstick”–if you like watching someone get hit with a beam and knocked down two flights of stairs to land in the street and get pasted by a car, only to sit up and say, “I’m okay!” just as a bus arrives in the background to finish the job, you’ll love Annie’s Rube Goldbergian progression of screwups. I personally found them depressing.

Someone, please, tell me why this movie is funny.

The rest of the (interminably long [excessively parenthetical]) review is hiding behind the jump, partly out of shame but mostly to avoid spoilers, not that the movie can really be spoiled any more than it already is.

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Because the poor really do have it too easy these days

In a conservative intolerance one-two punch, Rick Santorum gives it to the poor and the obese in a single tweetable comment. The comment came at an Iowa town hall where he explained his plans to cut the federal food stamp program, should (God forbid) he be elected president.

“If hunger is a problem in America, then why do we have an obesity problem among the people who say we have a hunger problem?” Santorum asked.

I am so totally fucking serious, y’all. He said that. Where people could hear. The government obviously needs to cut food-stamp funding, because the fatties haven’t yet starved down to a Santorum-approved weight. Seriously.

It’s a spectacular show of ignorance from a man who obviously understands neither poverty nor nutrition, and it’s an example of the classic conservative thinking that unless you’re sitting in a cold, dark one-room apartment and scrounging in dumpsters for food, you’re not actually poor. It’s also an example of classic thinking–not exclusive to the conservative end of the spectrum–that obese people are obese simply because of an overabundance of food.

A man who’s likely never wanted for a meal in his life, Santorum lacks both the frame of reference and the basic empathy to understand the concepts he nonetheless continues to speak about. He isn’t inclined to understand that even if obesity were caused by excessive eating–which it isn’t–and if it really were a “crisis” in and of itself–which it isn’t–it wouldn’t be solved by giving people less money to eat with.

Affordable health care would help people stay healthy. Urban areas where people feel safe leaving their houses, public transportation, and well-maintained sidewalks would help people stay healthy. Making healthy food readily available in low-income areas, rather than continuing to subsidize corn and other nutritionally bankrupt crops, would help people stay healthy. Castigating people for their weight as if it’s a inerrant indicator of physical health doesn’t help people stay healthy. And literally expecting people to go hungry, because obviously obesity arises from untold riches and abundant food, is not just ineffective but full-on beastly cruel.

Poor people are poor because they’re lazy and unworthy. Fat people are fat because they’re lazy pigs. Starve them and deprive them of any form of physical comfort, and they’ll learn the errors of their ways and bootstrap themselves into health and wealth. Once we’re a nation of Oliver Twists, our economy will flourish and peace will reign across the land.

A Travesty of Justice

A jury acquitted a Hoquiam man who was accused of breaking into a home and throwing a dead mink at another man during a confrontation that made weasel headlines across the country.
IT’S NOT A WEASEL, IT’S A MARTEN. Nosepunch. Flee. Acquitted.

Day of Remembrance.

This is late, but important.

As many of you probably know, yesterday was the 22nd anniversary of the Montreal Polytechnique Massacre – during which a man named Marc Lepine killed 14 women because he was “fighting feminism”.

Yesterday, we remembered :

Geneviève Bergeron (born 1968), civil engineering student
Hélène Colgan (born 1966), mechanical engineering student
Nathalie Croteau (born 1966), mechanical engineering student
Barbara Daigneault (born 1967), mechanical engineering student
Anne-Marie Edward (born 1968), chemical engineering student
Maud Haviernick (born 1960), materials engineering student
Maryse Laganière (born 1964), budget clerk in the École Polytechnique’s finance department
Maryse Leclair (born 1966), materials engineering student
Anne-Marie Lemay (born 1967), mechanical engineering student
Sonia Pelletier (born 1961), mechanical engineering student
Michèle Richard (born 1968), materials engineering student
Annie St-Arneault (born 1966), mechanical engineering student
Annie Turcotte (born 1969), materials engineering student
Barbara Klucznik-Widajewicz (born 1958), nursing student

This anniversary is also commemorated as the National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women, in Canada.
Here are a few links around the occasion :

At Shameless Magazine.

Marc Lepine purchased his weapons legally, and it’s in reaction to the Montreal massacre that more stringent gun control laws such as the gun registry were instituted. A gun registry that PM Harper aims to scrap. A survivor’s reaction.

“Je me souviens” – and what we don’t remember.

An old but relevant post by Jessica Yee : what is often forgotten about Dec. 6th.

For a South American Getaway, Try Cartagena

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I’m writing about my love for Colombia in GOOD this week. A bit:

The best way to enjoy Cartagena, though, is to put pleasure first. Meander. Buy unusual fruit from a street vendor. Get freshly caught fish on a paper plate from a dingy stand for a few dollars, or have a perfect slice of coconut pie at a white-tablecloth restaurant. Drink rum at a cafe in the Old City as the nighttime lighting makes the whole town glow gold, or mosey into any bar in Getsemani for an all-night live music dance party. If you’re looking to quit your life for a few months, you’d be hard-pressed to find a more enjoyable spot for relocation.

Cartagena is the most touristy city in Colombia, but well worth a visit. The rest of the country (or at least the parts I’ve been to) are also glorious. It’s one of my most-recommended travel destinations: Easy to get to from the United States, affordable, culturally rich, beautiful, and offers an incredible diversity of things to see and do. I need to go back.

Feminist-Friendly Marriages on Television… Or Not

This is a guest post by Ashley Lauren.
Believe it or not, fighting against patriarchal norms that come with the idea of marriage has been a piece of (wedding) cake compared to what it has taken for me to define myself as a wife in the face of what pop culture tells us wives in heterosexual relationships are supposed to be.

Teenagers: Way More Boring Than We All Thought

It turns out that teenagers are not even sexting that much. Ugh, teenagers. Don’t you know that adults’ lives are so horrifyingly boring that we have to occupy ourselves by harping on you young, adventurous things doing stupid crap like sending each other nudie pics with your fancy portable telephones? I just retired my flip-phone a week ago, and I need to believe that someone uses their iPhone for a more exciting purpose than playing 16 games of Scrabble at once. THROW ME A BONE HERE. (And don’t laugh at the word “bone” you immature brats).

There’s been no shortage of hand-wringing over the menace of “sexting” among kids, but new research finds that parents’ concern may be largely overwrought: only 7% of children ages 10 to 17 created, appeared in or received a sexually suggestive photo in the past year.

Next thing you know, you’ll be telling me that every teenager in the neighborhood isn’t hosting Friday-night Rainbow Parties and then spending their Saturdays consuming vodka through a tampon. What else are you idiots doing with your time? Studying for the SATs? KIDS TODAY.

Posted in Sex

Eight Red Flags I Learned from Online Dating

I have an article in GOOD today about online dating red flags, and how the internet evens the gender playing field. Check it out. And yes, someone on Twitter already sent me this article in response.

The one red flag that I didn’t give much time to but that I keep seeing over and over and over again are the dudes who won’t date women their own age, but will date women who are 10 or 15 years younger than they are. It doesn’t really impact me yet — I’m usually right in the middle of their preferred age range — but if a guy is 36 and would date a 20-something but won’t date a woman who’s 35? Nope!

Now it’s one thing to meet someone at a party or through friends, hit it off, and then realize that there’s a large age difference. It’s another to actually think through who you want to date, and decide that even though you’re 35, you would date a 22-year-old but not a woman your own age. It’s not that 22-year-olds and 35-year-olds can never have good, egalitarian relationships; it’s that a dude who lists his upper age limit as two or three years younger than himself is probably not looking for an equal partner.