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The Prodigal Book Reviewer

When I first applied to library science programs, I think I was working under this unconscious, internalized stereotype of librarianship being an easy job, and library school being a breeze. This might have been exacerbated by my other experience with grad school, an MFA, which was basically summer camp with professors. Boy, did I get a reality check this past fall. Data curation! Cyberinfrastructure! Information literacy! It’s a lot of work!

The consequence of all this is that I haven’t had time to even consider the possibility of thinking about writing a book review since last September. I don’t want to give it up completely, because I love it, but for the duration of my graduate school career, monthly or semi-monthly reviews are just out of the question.

However, Aunt Lute Books was kind enough to send me a copy of Rosa Montero’s Beautiful and Dark last summer, and I don’t want them to have wasted their resources. Also, I read two other books this fall that I just have to tell you all about: Julie Orringer’s The Invisible Bridge and Lorrie Moore’s A Gate at the Stairs.

So: Beautiful and Dark. The novel begins when the unnamed narrator is sent for by her aunt and grandmother to come live in the Neighborhood, a dilapidated and threatening place where gangs of bullies roam the streets and the nightlife consists of bawdy clubs and bars. In stark contrast to the orphanage she left behind, the narrator’s new home is an ancient boarding house that her grandmother and aunt share with her uncle Segundo, his son Chico, and Airelai, a shrewd and beautiful dwarf woman who works with Segundo on a magic show in one of the clubs. Although there is a plot of sorts, the novel is, for the most part, driven by the narrator’s dreamlike navigation through the Neighborhood and its surrounding environs, gradually picking up bits and pieces of information about her family and the secret lives of the adults around her.

Airelai’s character is both the novel’s greatest strength and its most glaring weakness. The story is punctuated with stories (perhaps fictional) that she tells of her past – how she was born with psychic abilities, how she spent her childhood as a priestess, how she befriended a captured whale – and these stories both add to the novel’s surreality and make Airelai a fascinating character. However – and I’m sure most of you have already figured this out – the novel continues Western culture’s tradition of depicting little people as not quite human. If a little person isn’t ridiculed, it seems, he or she has to be imbued with mystical qualities. Non-little writers and artists can’t seem to bring themselves to portray little people as simply people.

Furthermore, the novel’s revelation about how Airelai spends her time outside of the house and the magic show will garner eye-rolls from any justice-minded feminist. You know how in It’s a Beautiful Life the most horrible, bone-chilling aspect of George’s dystopian alternate reality is that his wife is a librarian with glasses? And then many viewers are like, “wait, I’m a librarian with glasses.” If you ask me, Potterville was lucky to have a library in the first place, what with the state it was in. Anyway, Airelai’s big reveal in Beautiful and Dark is kind of like that.

So. Deeply flawed. If you can stomach that, though, the story is gorgeously written, and the book lives up to its title.

On to The Invisible Bridge! This novel is Julie Orringer’s fictionalized chronicle of her grandfather’s experiences as a Hungarian Jew during the second World War. Starting out as an architectural student in Paris, Andras is forced to return to Hungary at the beginning of the war and serve in the Munkaszolgálat, the labor service that was a substitute for military service for Jewish men, subjecting them to brutal abuse, disease, and starvation. What sets Orringer’s novel apart from many other Holocaust stories is its vivid depiction of pre-Holocaust life – indeed, the worst of the atrocities only take place in a breathless frenzy near the end of the novel. Until then, the story sweeps through Andras’s exploits at the École Spéciale, his intense affair with a gifted ballet dancer named Clara, and his gradual maturation from a naïve and nervous student to a self-reliant adult.

Although Orringer’s excitement at all the cool stuff she found in her research becomes a little too apparent throughout the course of the story, and although the prose gets somewhat bombastic at times, the novel is still very enjoyable – it’s the kind of deep, rich story that you can curl up with for days at a time.

As for Lorrie Moore’s A Gate at the Stairs, I think by now most everyone who keeps up with mainstream publishing knows it’s great, so I won’t belabor that here. I’ll just say that Tassie Keltjin is a fabulous character, and the Thornwood-Brinks, a wealthy couple who adopts a biracial toddler and hires Tassie as their nanny, are presented with biting wit as the type of clueless, privileged liberal you love to hate. One detail that I loved was Sarah Brinks’s casual mention, in one scene, of the fact that she owns multiple watches – enough, in fact, that she coordinates them with her outfits. Can you imagine owning that many watches? If so, I don’t want to talk to you anymore.

My biggest regret as a reader this year is that almost everything I read was pretty mainstream – for whatever reason, I didn’t end up seeking out much stuff from small presses, relying instead on whatever I found in larger bookstores. But that will change, oh yes. For Christmukkah I got Vandana Shiva’s Earth Democracy! In Berkeley I picked up the Prisoners Revolutionary Literature Fund’s Letters From Prisoners, and I just ordered one of the remaining copies of Yours in Struggle, which is now out of print. It’s shaping up to be a good year, if I can fit this stuff in around my term papers.

Feministe Feedback: Help for a friend in an abusive relationship

A reader writes in:

Hi there Fabulous Feministe-ers, I’d love to have Feministe reader advice on a crappy situation a good friend is in right now.

I have a good friend that I’ve known for about 5 years now. We’re not as close as we used to be, and even less so now that we live about 20 miles away from each other and I have limited access to transportation. She started dating this guy (whom I haven’t actually met as of yet) that she’s been thrilled about… at least at first. They hit it off right away, and have been talking about marriage and kids. The problem? He’s an alcoholic, and has been physically and verbally abusive to her after drinking heavily. He’s also cheated on her with her soon-to-be ex-roommate, and is wildly jealous of all men she’s been with in the past, or is friends with currently. She has been in situations like this before, and managed to leave the guy and get herself into a safer position relatively quickly, and with the help of her enormous circle of friends. This time around, though, she doesn’t have such a vast support network, and feels that her situation is hopeless.

I feel for her immensely and want to help her, but how? I am not in a position to offer her a place to stay for at least another year or so, and I can hardly even help her move if it came down to it. Her ex-boyfriend has offered to help her financially if she just kicks her boyfriend out, no strings attached (for the record, he’s a really great guy, and not one of the problematic exes I referenced earlier), but she doesn’t seem interested in his offer. She knows intellectually that her situation is terrible, and that there is no reason for her to keep staying with him or to try to make it work, and she talks openly about her problems with her boyfriend. Having been in a similar situation with an ex of my own, a terrible roller coaster of a relationship that she witnessed the entirety of, I’ve offered her advice and told her in the nicest way I could that his behavior will NOT change, and that she shouldn’t hold out for him to realize how terrible his behavior is. I hate to see her go down this path, and I know all too well what it feels like to know that you’ve wasted years of your life waiting for an abusive, alcoholic asshole to stop being an abusive, alcoholic asshole. When I asked her what’s keeping her with him, knowing all of these bad things aren’t likely to change, she said that “when it’s good, it’s really, really good.” And I get it, I do. But she knows that it won’t get better. How do I help her make the next step, and let go of the good times that will only get more and more infrequent? For her own well-being? She doesn’t feel that she has any good friends left anymore to turn to, and while I don’t know this for sure, I suspect that the reason for this is that her boyfriend’s jealousy (most of her friends are male) and the isolation of being in an abusive relationship are partly to blame.

What advice would you offer me in helping her, or what advice would you give her if you were her friend?

I’m thinking I may send her the link to this post once it’s published, because I wonder if maybe seeing what’s going on, written down, with many people’s reactions, may help nudge her in the right direction… or nudge her boyfriend OUT of her life.

Thank you all for any advice you may have.

What do you all suggest?

And remember that you can send your questions to feministe -at- gmail -dot- com.

Jayaben Desai, 1933-2010

Jayaben Desai has died at 77 years of age. From The Hindu:

The diminutive India-born Ms. Desai, who moved to Britain from Tanzania in 1969, came to be known as a “lioness” for her role in leading the two-year long strike at the Grunwick Film Processing Laboratories, north London, in the 1970s to demand union recognition for its largely Asian and female workforce.

She famously told a manager: “What you are running here is not a factory, it is a zoo. In a zoo, there are many types of animals. Some are monkeys who dance on your fingertips, others are lions who can bite your head off. We are those lions, Mr Manager.’’

Jack Dromey has written an obituary at The Guardian.

Books, books, books!

I’ve read fifty-five books so far this year; I’m going to see how many more I can fit in by year’s end. The plan is rereading Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë and Wide Sargasso Sea by Jean Rhys, then reading Eoin Colfer’s Artemis Fowl and the Time Paradox. (Yes, I am a woman of widely varying reading interests.)

I’m going to pick a few of my recommendations from what I’ve read over the past year, and then you can have a go in comments! There can never be too many reading recommendations.

Read More…Read More…

Are we seriously still asking this question?

Over at the New York Times, Katrin Benhold is asking “is it rape?” if you have sex with a woman while she’s sleeping. Really, though? This is confusing for people? Yes, if you penetrate someone while they’re asleep and they therefore could not possibly have consented to being penetrated, that is rape. I’m pretty sure that if I were having a sleep-over with a dude and he woke up to find that I had stuck a dildo in him, there wouldn’t be much question as to whether or not that was an assault — even if he had consented to having sex with me the night before.


As Lindsay says, unconscious people can’t consent to anything
. Think of it like this: Your partner might have consented to your feeding him chocolate cake for dessert. It doesn’t mean you can shove it down his throat while he’s sleeping. In fact, if he woke up to you shoving chocolate cake down his throat while he was sleeping, he would probably be very upset, because that shit does not feel good when you aren’t ready for it, even if you usually really like chocolate cake. And I think we would all agree that someone who forcefully shoves cake down the throat of a sleeping person is beyond terrible and also a dangerous person, and that reporting such a person doesn’t “cheapen” any other accusations of attempted smothering or asphyxiation.

So, yes: Putting a penis (or a finger or whatever else) into an unconscious person is rape. Next up, the New York Times tackles the tough question of whether it’s really assault to punch someone in the face if they let you touch their cheek the day before.

What moves you?

I love the threads in which we all get together and pool parts of our experiences. And, at a time of the Gregorian year when many are slowing down and thinking through their lives, I think it’s time for another.

I’ve been reading Toni Morrison recently (for an piece I wrote for Bitch Magazine). I got to thinking about how reading Morrison isn’t so much a question of simple enjoyment or engagement for me so much as rearranging how my mind works, in little ways I will struggle and be unable to trace in the future.

What moves you? Is it a book, a place you like to contemplate the universe, a phrase, a person, a memory, an object, an idea?

Shameless Self-Promotion Sunday

Post a link and a short description of something you’ve written this week. Make it specific, don’t just link to your whole blog.

Not quite sure how this HTML deal works? Just use this as an example: <a href=”http://BlogPostAddress.com”>BlogPostTitle</a>

16 & Loved

On Dec. 28th at 11:30 EST, the MTV show 16 & Pregnant will feature a slightly different story: Abortion. They’re calling it “No Easy Decision,” and it will feature Markai, who was also on 16 & Pregnant, as she decides to terminate her pregnancy. The show will also have Dr. Drew Pinksy talking to other young women who have had abortions.

I’m sure the show will be controversial (and Dr. Drew is the worst, so that part concerns me). I’m also sure that the young women who have abortions will not be warmly received by many members of the “pro-life” community.

Which is why I’m glad that Exhale is doing a “16 & Loved” campaign to support these (and all) women who terminate pregnancies. It’s important for women to know that no matter what their story and what reproductive choices they make, they are supported.

For women and girls aged 15-19, twenty-seven percent of pregnancies end in abortion. Those are stories that aren’t told on 16 & Pregnant where, so far, all of the girls featured have given birth. Those stories are also hidden from conversation generally — too many women feel ashamed or judged because of the choices they’ve made. I’m glad 16 & Pregnant is making an effort to show the diversity of options that pregnant women and girls are faced with, even if they are doing it “very special episode”-style, and even if they do have a quack like Dr. Drew weighing in. I’m glad they’re featuring Markai, who, like many women who terminate pregnancies, has already had a child — this issue can’t be divided into “women who terminate” and “women who give birth.”

Here’s hoping that MTV does this one right.

Feministe Feedback: Job placement and assistance resources

A reader writes in:

Four years ago I was raped by my ex-boyfriend in college and my life has been going sharply downhill ever since and I don’t know how to stop it.A year and a half ago, I was kicked out of school (raped, reported, they ignored it, said i would be better of elsewhere) with no degree and a crushing amount of student loans. I can’t afford to go back to school until I get a job (rejected for any loans), but I can’t get hired. Things were looking up earlier this year until (a different) ex beat me up and kicked me out of the apartment and I feel like I am even further back than square one. I am now living in a really unhealthy environment with absolutely zero money, no friends, no support system. I went to counseling for a few months after the ‘big’ assault and such, but it didn’t help at all. Now I can’t even afford to go back because I have no money to leave the house. My family is also having financial troubles and the clock is quickly ticking on me bringing in an extra income before everyone is homeless.

What can I do? Is there any feminist job placement type of resources? I am in the New York City area – but not IN the city. in the suburbs where a train round trip of 15 dollars or some gas to drive somewhere close is something I just cant afford. I’ve applied to retail, food service, office jobs, temp agencies…all of them with absolutely no results. I was really into the feminist community earlier this year, but now I feel really jaded now that when I’ve been needing help the most I can’t find anything to assist me. I feel like I’ve been trying so hard to do everything right and I still end up stuck. I got a call from the student loan people and saying my account will default in a few days (this was last month) because they don’t offer anything beyond the 6-month deferment regardless of economy situation.

Am I just shit out of luck? It seems to be the only option. I am told “I would help you if I could” but I only hear willingness to help from people who CAN’T help me. After the expulsion I threw myself into writing, activism, volunteering, and even did a paid internship. Now I have run out of steam. I really have no resources or access to anything that can help and I’m starting to think – how can I believe in and fight for justice for all if I can’t even see it happening in my life?

thanks any help would be appreciated.

Help? Resources? Suggestions?