In defense of the sanctimonious women's studies set || First feminist blog on the internet

Month: May 2005

Should parents be allowed to sit in on sex ed classes?

This woman tried, and was turned away. While I’m sympathetic to her cause — she didn’t want her child being misinformed by fact-deficient abstinence-only education — I think that as a general rule, it’s not a good idea to have parents in sex ed classes. In Washington state, sexual health educators are required to present their curriculum to interested parents prior to teaching it in the classroom; when I was an HIV/AIDS educator in high school, we had an annual evening meeting where we went over our entire lesson with parents who then gave us feedback or chose to sign their child out of class. So there is a state law here allowing parents to see what their kids are being taught. That’s important. But putting parents in a classroom where sensitive topics like sexuality are being discussed changes the dynamic of the room, and inhibits the free flow of conversation and question-asking. Kids aren’t going to want to ask certain questions if their best friend’s mom or dad (or their own parent) is sitting five feet away, listening to every word. So while parents rights are important, there needs to be a balance — and in my opinion, placing parents in the classroom during sex ed is intimidating and limiting, and not condusive to the kind of open environment necessary for that kind of curriculum. Thoughts?

Parental consent in California

Alley Rat has a powerful post on her experience with an underage friend who got a safe, legal abortion in California — something that may not be an option for many girls there if the state passes its parental consent law. Alley makes an important point when she writes that girls almost always tell at least one parent before they have an abortion; the ones that don’t generally can’t, or strongly feel that they can’t. Read her whole post, as it’s much more eloquent and compelling than I can possibly be right now.

Restoring virginity

Doctors who “repair” women’s hymens are being threatened, apparently, by people who judge women’s value by the state of their hymen. While the stereotype of someone getting this surgery is a veiled Muslim woman, that isn’t entirely accurate.

Young also said that it’s not just women with Middle Eastern backgrounds seeking the surgeries. There has also been an increase in the number of women requesting hymen repair from both the Orthodox Jewish and Christian fundamentalist communities, as well as from women of all nationalities who want the surgery as a sexual enhancement.

“Within the fundamentalist Christian population as well there has been an apparent recent movement towards ‘traditional family values’ and there is pressure put on women to be virgins,” Young said.

Hymen repair is “sexual enhancement”? That’s odd to me… I don’t really understand how having a piece of tissue torn is sexually pleasurable for anyone, especially when that tearing comes complete with blood spillage.

So what exactly is hymen repair?

Typical hymen repair surgery involves stitching the remnants of a torn hymen together and inserting a gelatin capsule that contains a blood-mimicking substance. After the hymen has been surgically repaired, a woman will bleed the fake blood the next time she has sexual intercourse. The surgery, which costs from $2,500 to $4,500, is performed on an outpatient basis. Healing can take from a few days to a few weeks.

Fake blood. How sexy. The article is interesting, but what nags at me is the fact that no one really discusses the real problem: the fact that women’s hymens are equated with their purity, value and general worth, and the fact that women are ostracized and sometimes even killed for making their own sexual decisions (or for having those decisions made for them). While I obviously don’t believe any doctor deserves to be threatened or killed for doing their job, I would hope that this problem is being more seriously attacked at its roots. And I would also hope that these doctors are offering their patients information about domestic violence and family abuse resources. If a woman comes in and is afraid of being beaten or killed for having sex, repairing her hymen isn’t going to solve the problem.

Link Round-Up

Here are some good ones for ya’ll:

Campaigning against female sexuality — the star wars way.

Bitch, PhD on white privilege and the guilt that comes with it.

GoldStar Moms? More like MinuteMoms.

Justifying rape. Holy shit. Proceed with the warning that you will probably feel violently ill after reading this post (not violently ill at Amanda; ill at the article she’s responding to).

Hate how stem cell research kills blastocyst-Americans? Sign the pledge to never, ever benefit from it.

Ellen Goodman on the politics of Supernanny.

Shakespeare’s Sister on cross-burning in Durham. Fantastic that I’ll be moving there in three months.

Parents barred from raising their children as Wiccans. So much for that silly First Amendment and the Free Exercise clause. (Disclaimer: I don’t agree with the writer’s views on Wicca. But he nonetheless makes a good point).

Finally, my biggest unhealthy obsession: Overheard in New York.

Hypocrisy in the Culture Wars

Neil of the nTrain has two great posts up about stem cells and gays/women in the military. Neil (who has a great, sarcastic writing style) points out that, although he his in favor of stem cell research, “those that object to the use of federally funded research that involved the dissection of these embryos cannot simply stop there. You cannot be against what you see as murder simply because the federal government is funding it. That’s absurd. What this calls for is a Republican bill outlawing the use of embryos by any research facility in their stem cell research.”

His solution?

I think it’s necessary to make use of those embryos because to simply allow them to remain frozen is to inhibit their developmental potential. Perhaps we can just sprinkle them on some hospital beds and give them 6-9 months to develop, providing food and drink whenever necessary or applicable. Doing nothing just seems barbaric.

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At least they’re good for something

Right-wing wackos posing as journalists is nothing new, and their antics usually fall somewhere in between vaguely irritating and just plain offensive. But every once in a while, they do something kinda funny. Jeff Gannon pal Les Kingsolving — who somehow has a permanent seat in the White House press corps — typically throws long-winded softball questions at Scott McClellan, which involve a statement with which Les agrees, followed by, “The President thinks so too, right?” (See Example A). But this week, he made a humorous (though kind of frightening in its underlying insanity) point about the President’s “pro-life” views:

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Surrogate mothers bearing babies for gay couples

Well this is an interesting phenomenon. A growing number of surrogate mothers are helping same-sex couples (usually gay men, which would make sense) start families. I think it’s great — just as I think surrogate parenting is a pretty good thing to begin with. And this article serves as a reminder that same-sex couples with families already exist. As the same-sex marriage decision in Mass pointed out, children who are already part of a family headed by a same-sex couple aren’t afforded the same benefits under the law as children whose parents are allowed to be legally married. So in “defending marriage,” anti-same sex marriage advocates are actually harming families. Imagine that.

Friday Random Ten

I’ve never done this before, but I figure, as long as I’m here, might as well jump on the cool weekly things that Lauren does… so here goes. But let me give a little disclaimer: I am not cool. Seriously. Right now, my two favorite songs are “Lonely” by Akon and the new Mariah Carey ballad. I don’t listen to cool bands that you’ve never heard of. In fact, I probably listen to the exact same music as your dad, if, in addition to dad music like Bob Dylan and the Rolling Stones, your dad also listens to a lot of Ani Difranco and really mainstream hip-hop. So please, don’t think less of me when my ten random songs are totally lame… I like them, but as stated, I am totally uncool.

1. Missy Elliot – I’m Really Hot
2. Jay-Z and Pharell – Frontin’
3. Ben Harper – In Your Eyes (live acoustic)
4. Ani Difranco and Bob Dylan – Most of the Time
5. Mindy Smith – One Moment More
6. Tom Petty – You Got Lucky
7. John Legend – Ordinary People
8. Rolling Stones – The Last Time
9. Tori Amos – Precious Things
10. Ray LaMontagne – Jolene

So this serves as pretty clear evidence that I need to update my music collection. Dang.

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Friday Dog Blogging

FerrisD

It’s been almost 90 degrees in Seattle, and Ferris has been my best tanning buddy. I sit outside and read (Tom Friedman’s “The World is Flat,” if anyone is interested) and he goes back and forth between basking in the sun, relaxing in the shade under my chair, and chasing his ball around the yard. He’s a cute boy.