1.) I have been writing on the internet for close to ten years, and maintained a blog for nearly five. Over this time, I have been called every name in the book, received idle death threats, been contacted at my home address and phone number, and had my son and my parenting skills insulted, berated, chided, and belittled. Chances are, if you have something nasty to say, I have not only heard it before, but have heard it several times. Thus, if you intend to hurt my feelings, please be creative.
Let me help you get started. Here is A Helpful Guide to Words and Phrases That Do Not Hurt: feminazi, socialist, Marxist, ugly, dyke, man-hater, man-eater, misandrist, frigid, sexist, bitch, slut, whore, etc. in all their various incarnations and related terminology. I will be more insulted if you badmouth one of my favorite bands than if you revert to name-calling. Really.
2.) This is not a feminist primer. I assume that my audience is well-versed in feminism, feminisms, and has a critical mind intelligent enough to argue in an intelligent manner without resorting to sarcasm and the above-mentioned insults. If you believe I am in error, please state so, but only if you are interested in a civil debate.
2a.) I am not interested in meeting feminist standards of card-carrying feminism. If you read feminist literature, it is likely you have run across the term “feminism(s)” or read that “there are as many feminisms as there are feminists.” If I do not meet your feminist standard, I heartily apologize, but do remember that I and my comrades are complex individuals in a complex world that have taken on a complex label belonging to a very complex theoretical tradition. Feminism is not composed of a bullet-point list of talking points and behaviors. If you don’t understand that, chances are you are not operating from a viewpoint educated on the subject.
3.) If you address me with sarcasm, I likely will address you with the same. One cannot expect a thoughtful and intelligent answer to an unthoughtful comment.
4.) If you have a question about my theory, I have probably addressed it before. Please refer to the search box on the sidebar. If you cannot find an answer, please email me.
5.) Unpaid solicitations and advertisements are unwelcome. If you have a legitimate request for contributions from me or my readers please send it to the email address provided. Otherwise, I have handily set up a Paypal account where you can reimburse me with the amount of bandwidth your text uses.
6.) Solicitations to cover stories or link your blog may also be emailed to me at the address provided. Whether or not I actually respond, link, or cover the story is not indicative of how much I like or dislike you and your work. Most likely I am busy or have other content I would like to cover. It ain’t personal.
7.) Please do not attempt to derail a comment thread. Stay on topic and, again, be respectful.
8.) Do not assume that you know everything there is to know about me simply because you read my weblog on a regular basis. Any judgements you make will be based on the information I have provided you about myself, which is probably vague, incomplete or embellished. If this subject offendeth thee, please refer to narrative and autobiographical literary theory. It ain’t that unusual.
9.) If I did not personally provide you with my URL, this is probably because I may not want you to read certain things I might write about you or others you care about, in order to spare your feelings, avoid drama, or maintain their privacy. While I try to preserve others’ privacy and anonymity, I may slip up now and then. Again, communication is important. Discuss your feelings with me, but do not be surprised if I am miffed.
Also, if you see something you don’t like remember you are free to stop reading at any point. I continue to keep this site because I feel compelled to write, not to please another. That I do manage to please a reader now and then is what makes it extra special.
As I’ve written in an earlier post, I’ve spent several years now writing on a daily basis, sometimes about big things and sometimes not. But I’ve been writing, and that is important to me. As a child I wanted very badly to be a writer, spent hours writing in notebooks, kicking around story ideas, and writing horrible poetry about my teen angst. I get flack from some people around me for “not writing,” as in not writing creatively, but one thing I’ve learned since I dropped the notebook for the keyboard is that writers write. Writers write every day. They do it even when they don’t want to, just like I sometimes don’t want to write here.
Blogging upped the ante for my thoughts and my writings. Once I started to gain a larger readership, I was no longer able to make decisions about my beliefs and opinions by pulling my own heartstrings and seeing where they took me. If I make my opinions public, I am held accountable for them. I have to own my words, be willing to take responsibility for what I have said, admit flaws and quibbles in my rhetoric. I have to pay attention to the particulars of language, how punctuation and word choice can shift an entire argument. I have to be my own editor, personally and publicly.
I’d rather foolishly have my words public and widely-read and be accountable for what I say than be content to make a fool of myself in obscurity. I want to be a part of the discussion. That’s why I started this whole endeavor. In the meantime, the primary rule is one of respect.
Related Commentary:
Thoughts on Blogging, Metacognition, Pedagogy and Ethos
How Blogging Has Changed Me As a Writer
Bits of this diatribe were taken from the README Disclaimer.