In defense of the sanctimonious women's studies set || First feminist blog on the internet

Category: Advertising

“You don’t have to tell me about ‘the parts’… just tell me to wait”

No, that’s not Leslee Unruh or the National Abstinence Education Association.

It’s the Obama Administration.

Here’s the new tv ad from 4parents.gov, run by the US Dept. of Health and Human Services:

So, let’s see, you’ve been in office 8 months now, right Barack? And this is what we’re still peddling?

It gets worse at their website. Here’s what they have to say about marriage:

This Web site talks a lot about marriage, and that waiting until marriage is a sensible choice for your son or daughter to make when it comes to sex. But what’s so valuable about marriage? Why is marriage any different, or any better than other family situations?

First of all, let’s be clear on one important point. In general, children – and adults – do better in homes headed by a married mother and father.

****

What are the benefits married people enjoy?

  • Live longer.
  • Have better physical and emotional health.
  • Are happier.
  • Earn more.
  • Enjoy better sex lives.

That’s right, folks. Tell your kids they better get hitched to their heterosexual partner, or else you’ll never have great sex and you’ll die young, poor and unhappy. And whatever you do, don’t talk about “the parts”…

Your tax dollars (still) at work…

(crossposted from Amplify)

Go For the Black Can, Dude!

Campbell’s seems to be outdoing itself in its efforts to create the Manliest Soup in the World. Look at what I found at the grocery store, complete with uber-manly label and everything:

Campbell's Fully Loaded Soup

This line of soups isn’t exactly new; they seem to have been around since last year, along with their super-manly slogan: “When you’ve got EXTREME hunger… go for the BLACK CAN.” I just happened across it because I’m recently unemployed and I have strep throat. These two things combined mean that I’m drinking lots of soup. It’s cheap and it doesn’t make me scream in pain when it goes down my throat. I should probably be drinking broth, not this chunky stuff; my girlfriend kept texting me while I was in the store, “Don’t buy that soup. It sounds disgusting. Get broth and toast.” However, I felt like I owed it to you, dear readers, to purchase a couple cans for anthropological purposes. OK, and I find the idea of “Rigatoni and Meatball Soup” to be weirdly appealing AND disgusting.

Also submitted for your examination, the recent commercial for this soup:

Clearly we’ve gone off some sort of irony cliff here, just like the parasail in the commercial. Let’s take a closer look at the lyrics, shall we?

Read More…Read More…

Target Women — Catching Up!

I’ve been completely slacking on the Target Women front, so it’s time to catch up!  Here are the videos I’ve missed these past few weeks.

First up, the brand new edition: Dating Advice

(Click here if you can’t view the embedded video.)

And next up: Hair!

(Click here if you can’t view the embedded video.)

And lastly, my favorite of all of the one’s I’ve missed: Story Time. Those milk commercials are . . . damn.

(Click here if you can’t view the embedded video.)

Enjoy!

Well gee, I think I’ll go get that pap smear after all

It’s not at all uncommon in this world to see advertising images that are some variation on the message that women are only good for ogling and fucking. But somehow it has a particular sting when the ad in question is supposed to be about why women’s lives matter.

This image was posted on Sociological Images, and was created by BC Cancer Agency. The page where the ad was found has been taken down, but here’s a cache. Further, according to comments over at the Sociological Images post, these ads have been seen all over Vancouver.

To address some of the comments over at that post before they appear here: no, I don’t think the Birth of Venus is a sexually objectifying image. And I’m all about appreciating the beauty of the human body — whatever shape or size that body takes (including the one being mocked above).

But when you take such a lovely image and use it to argue that it’s the reason why women’s lives are worth living? Because men like to look at women and definitely don’t like to look at other dudes? That’s more than just a little bit offensive. Because actually, I’m pretty sure that this world “needs women” because we’re human beings, and we make all kinds of amazing and awesome contributions to society.

And I’m also pretty sure that the reason to prevent cervical cancer isn’t about whether or not “the world needs women” (who don’t all have cervixes, by the way). The reason to prevent cervical cancer shouldn’t be seen as any different from the reason to prevent any other cancer.  Which is, as is my understanding, because we value human lives and think they’re worth living just because . . . well, just because.

Because Regular Chocolate Bars Are Way Too Masculine

I don’t even know what to do with this one.

Fling is a new chocolate bar that’s aimed at women. You can tell, because the packaging is pink.  Also because the damn thing is called “fling,” indicating that there’s something thrilling and “naughty” about the chocolate bar — and no one considers it “naughty” when a dude eats a Snickers.  But a Fling only a little naughty — it just has 85 calories! (Which is also how you know it’s for women!)  That’s why they didn’t call it Affair.

Oh, and the marketing rather overtly references female masturbation, thus again indicating that it’s totally for ladies:

Wrapped in a shiny pink and sliver package, this delicate “chocolate finger” is intended for women. The word “finger” is an industry term for a long, slim confection, Mars spokesman Ryan Bowling says, but with ads that invite you to “Pleasure yourself” in pink lettering, consumers might come to other conclusions.

The tag line on the package is “Naughty, but not that naughty.” A TV spot starts with what looks like strangers having sex in a store dressing room. Currently the candy bar can be bought only California and online, but if all goes well, Mars is hoping women will be having Flings all across the country.

Consider my eyebrow officially and disapprovingly raised.

So: eating chocolate is bad because it makes you fat, and no woman wants to be fat, which is why she should get a Fling because it won’t make you fat, and because you know that for women, not eating chocolate is totally not an option.  Also, women like pink, which we already knew.  That’s why you have to make everything for them pink, so they’ll know when they’re supposed to buy something!  And lastly, women enjoy, um, “pleasuring themselves” with “fingers,” which isn’t exactly news but certainly interesting marketing.  And not at all patronizing!

Why don’t think just change the slogan to “skinny chicks masturbate with low-fat chocolate” and get it over with?  It might even add a bit of subtlety.

h/t mk Eagle

ETA: Sit down for this one: these things also sparkle thanks to some kind of colored, FDA approved glitter.  In the fucking chocolate bar.  Dear god help us all. (Thanks to Bunny Mazonas in the comments.)

I’m glad I have a Mac.

Dell makes a new computer — the “Della” — for us lady-folk. And it doesn’t just do boy-stuff like let you create documents and surf the internet and play games; it does girl-stuff, too, like helping you count calories and plan recipes!

According to the site the Della can change a woman’s life “Once you get beyond how cute they are, you’ll find that netbooks can do a lot more than check your e-mail.” Yes you can “find recipes online” and you can use them to”to track calories, carbs and protein with ease, watch online fitness videos, map your running routes and more.”

And they’re pastel-colored! Yay!

Thanks to Ryan for the link.