In defense of the sanctimonious women's studies set || First feminist blog on the internet

Tag: Humor

New Rules.

Bill Maher, who I alternately love and loathe (so funny, sometimes! but so misogynist, a lot of the time!) has some New Rules for the new year. And I like them. He suggests, among others:

New Rule If you were a Republican in 2011, and you liked Donald Trump, and then you liked Michele Bachmann, and then you liked Rick Perry, and then you liked Herman Cain, and then you liked Newt Gingrich … you can still hate Mitt Romney, but you can’t say it’s because he’s always changing his mind.

New Rule Internet headlines have to be more like newspaper headlines. That means they have to tell me something instead of just tricking me into clicking on them. If you write the headline, “She Wore That?” you have to go to your journalism school and give your degree back.

New Rule You can’t be against same-sex marriage and for Newt Gingrich. No man has ever loved another man as much as Newt Gingrich loves Newt Gingrich.

A Travesty of Justice

A jury acquitted a Hoquiam man who was accused of breaking into a home and throwing a dead mink at another man during a confrontation that made weasel headlines across the country.
IT’S NOT A WEASEL, IT’S A MARTEN. Nosepunch. Flee. Acquitted.

Things to Not Put on a Tampon

Vodka.

I’m also 97% sure that “putting vodka on a tampon and then getting drunk through your vagina (or butt)” is an urban legend on par with Rainbow Parties. Has someone probably tried it once or twice? Surely. Human beings are both amazing and awful (and amazingly awful). We are the best creatures, and we are endlessly creative when it comes to doing mind-numbingly stupid things. You know who is a good example of someone who is amazingly awful? Danielle Crittenden. Apparently when she’s not refusing to get on airplanes because brown people are boarding or making a career out of complaining about the women’s movement that enabled her to have a career complaining about the women’s movement, she is testing out the vodka-tampon theory and then acting shocked when it burns. And she didn’t even get drunk! Clearly she should have tried the Diva Cup. That holds a lot more liquid.

You know what else burns? The stupid.

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Yet another Sexy Halloween

The Sexy [insert noun here] Halloween costumes just don’t go away. If anything, I think they’re getting even more ridiculous, or at least less recognizable as anything but a Victoria’s Secret Angel who’s the victim of a horrible prank–seriously, this is a macaw? Not to mention the Sexy Baseball Player costume that is literally just a baseball uniform without pants. (Sidenote: I think most professional sports would become more entertaining without pants.)

It almost, but doesn’t entirely, take the fun out of Halloween–the pressure to be Sexy, when all you really want to be is funny or clever or scary. And from a feminist perspective, it throws the entire movement back about 50 years, to a time when a Playboy Club-style Dirty Cop was more generally accepted than an actual female cop on the actual street.

So as a service to you, I’ve put together a list of feminist-friendly Halloween costumes to throw together before you head out partying this Samhain.

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The Only Girl In The Group

This is a guest post by Meghan O’Neill.
Hi. It’s Meghan. I’m a comedian. I mostly work in sketch comedy and I once belonged to a sketch group where I was…get ready for it…THE ONLY GIRL IN THE GROUP! […] a lot of the time, I was the author of those sketches. I was writing myself as the part of the patient wife or the bitchy girlfriend or the silent, sexy old lady and giving the spotlight to some other male person. On a good day, you’d call that generous. On a really good day, you’d call that stupid! Why would any writer/actor give up their best parts?!