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Get Your Wonk On: The Presidential Debate Drinking Game

Lauren

It’s Friday and we’re gearing up for the first presidential election of 2008 featuring Barack “Yes We Can” Obama and John “Did You Know I Was a POW?” McCain. It’s time for us lay-wonks to get our drink on.

  • Every time someone mentions “hope” or “change,” drink.
  • Drink double every time the mention of “change” comes from McCain.
  • For every mention of “my fellow Americans,” drink.
  • Every time the candidate steers away from the question asked to highlight his own talking points (we call that a Palin), drink twice.
  • For every mention of “Main Street,” drink.
  • Every time a candidate rephrases a repeat talking point, drink.
  • If McCain shames Obama for not dropping out of the first debate, drink.
  • For every mention of activist judges, drink.
  • For every mention of failed bipartisanship efforts that failed because the opposing party are a bunch of sniveling assbabies, drink.
  • Every time someone mentions terrorism, drink. If someone mentions terrorists in a non-terrorist context, like the Iraq War, drink twice.
  • If McCain blows a racist dogwhistle, drink thrice.
  • If McCain sounds like he’s trying to unseat an opposing party instead of a fellow Republican, chug.
  • When McCain grumpily alludes to the more important things he has to do, chug.
  • Spit out your beer and yell at the TV if McCain insinuates Obama is a) Muslim or b) the antiChrist.
  • Finish your drink if someone mentions a Clinton.

Insert responsible remark about not drinking and driving here, and we highly suggest that you stay away from shots unless you’re planning on a good n’ violent drunkle by 9:30 EST. Don’t end up on COPS.

Party on in the comments, dudes.

79 thoughts on Get Your Wonk On: The Presidential Debate Drinking Game

  1. To watch or not to watch, that is the question. It is strange, lately I can’t stand politics yet I can’t turn away either. I just have a fear of McCain winning… and I wonder what a post-Roe world will look like.

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  3. I say pour a drink and get to watching. I’ve got a white russian, except with soy milk so it’s not as rich. What would you call that? It’s like a grey, watery russian.

  4. For every mention of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, drink.

    When a candidate mentions the current financial crisis in response to a question that has nothing to do with domestic economics, chug.

    If the phrase “regulation relief” is used, chug a bottle of vodka and hope that life will be less absurd when you wake up in the ER.

  5. Hoosier, with the week we’ve just seen, the only way McCain could win is if Obama started wearing Black Panthers t-shirts on the weekends and the clouds above the White House formed a photo-realistic portrait of John McCain shaking hands with Jesus and giving a thumbs-up.

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  7. I think it is going to be a long night. I’ll be right back; I am going to buy more drinking stuff!! I am a McCain person!!

  20. McCain is asking for Obama’s definition of rich? Didn’t McCain say that rich was 5 million a year? So 4 mil is middle class! WOOT

  23. McCain is chuckling at Obama when he calls him out on his oil company chums. Grrr. it’s time to whip out the vodka.

  28. Okay, that’s two Miss Congeniality references from McCain — time to add that to the list.

    Also, Obama just said “orgy.”

  30. And maybe one for every time McCain begins a sentence with, “I don’t think Senator Obama understands that…”

  46. So, I’m reading that laugh on Ol’ John’s “so you say to Achmenadinijinedad ‘no you won’t”?” as a “WTF, did he just say that?” laugh, rather than a “NO YOU DiDN’T epic burn!” laugh.

    Thoughts?

  57. Obama was on top of it. McCain only seemed sincere when he said he wanted to keep the veterans safe. McCain needs to stfu when it comes to trying to make himself seem smarter and ‘more experienced.’ dude, we know you’re old.

  59. Part of it, I think, is pointing out how similar they are. McCain may be positing as the maverick, but Obama shows himself as the person of the people. So be it.

  60. Verdict?

    I say clear win for Obama. The talking heads are going to make a big deal about “a win, but a win bigger or smaller than the one we said might not live up to expectations of the win that people expected because we’ve been talking bout how hard he’s going to win and BTW McCain was a POW”, but I think he came across as more credible, his attacks landed harder, McCain’s attacks fell flat, and I’ve dug myself into a run-on sentence with no graceful way out.

    In short, Obama’s win tonight was like the win he’ll have on November 4th: decisive, no more, no less.

  61. I don’t disagree with that, Lauren, but if you’re going to cast yourself as an agent of change, you shouldn’t paint yourself as being too similar to your opponent. There’s nothing wrong with thinking the same way, but constantly pointing it out is probably not a good idea.

    I think McCain lost points by being so ridiculously condescending. Jeez.

  62. I wish Obama had been harder on him, and I really wish he’d observed out loud that every time it was McCain’s turn to respond, the response would have damn little to do with answering the actual question, and everything to do with some hoary old Repulbican Legend of Back When. “When Ronald Reagan wanted to send the Marines into Lebanon,” etc. Dude, you’re not running for President of the United States of 1983. Also not running for President of the United States of Our Veterans, but eh, I expected that.

    But Alexa, I actually think it was clever of Obama to note the similarities. Republicans have been (and will continue to) devote a lot of effort to painting Obama as the scary guy high on change. You know–“he might make life in the U.S. just a little too change-y for everyone! What about our veterans!” etc. So for him to emphasize that he’s not the scary radical Republicans wish he were might not be a half-bad idea.

  63. Perhaps, ilyka. One of Obama’s talking heads made a similar point on TV a minute ago, and I don’t necessarily disagree with the intent, just the tactic. It just struck me as being out of synch with the number of times he took issue with McCain’s positions. If you’re going to assert that your opponent agrees with you on so much, you’re really not making a good argument for “a change.”

    I’ll be curious to see how that resonates with the fence sitters.

  64. Every time Lehrer says, “Two minutes, Senator,” drink.

    Also! Am I the only one who wanted to choke Lehrer for handing McCain the closer, aka another opportunity to mist up on camera about his love for Our Veterans? Christ, Jim!

  65. You guys okay? I caught most of the debate on TV at the gym, but wow, what a hypocrite, what a lair, McCain is. Obama had that down, easy.

    So… are you all going to do this for the Biden/Palin debate next Thursday? I’ll get some drinks for that.

  66. “Okay, that’s two Miss Congeniality references from McCain — time to add that to the list.”

    and kind of amusing of him to say that too, since palin actually is miss congeniality.

  67. I don’t know their affiliation, but the site 538 has a ton of stats on the race. Obama’s chances improved slightly since the debate.

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  70. Also! Am I the only one who wanted to choke Lehrer for handing McCain the closer, aka another opportunity to mist up on camera about his love for Our Veterans? Christ, Jim!

    Obama won the coin toss and began the debate, so it makes sense McCain got to close?

  72. Great idea! Wish I’d discovered this before I watched the debate.

    Another addition: drink ever time McCain interrupts Jim Lehrer. Chug every time Obama says “John, that’s just not true.”

    I can’t wait for Palin-Biden. It’s either going to be extremely painful or embarrassing or entertaining or all of the above.

  73. Obama won the coin toss and began the debate, so it makes sense McCain got to close?

    Oh, let me have my misplaced rage. It’s what keeps me going.

    I can’t wait for Palin-Biden. It’s either going to be extremely painful or embarrassing or entertaining or all of the above.

    It ought to generate at least 3 YouTube remixes if it goes anything like I think it’s going to.

  74. I liveblogged as it was the only way to stay sane through that whole thing. My favorite part was the Putin = KGB bit, as clearly that is great international relations right there.

    I totally agree with ilyka and fourthwave about Palin and Biden. Anyone else have NBC or MSNBC and notice that they invited her to comment–and they sent Giuliani instead?

    Yeah, that’s confidence in your candidate right there.

  75. My favorite part was the Putin = KGB bit, as clearly that is great international relations right there.

    Right? And he did that after he’d lectured Obama that serious presidential contenders need to be wewy wewy mindful of their words in international relations! This, from the guy who snubbed the prime minister of Spain for reasons yet unspecified! The fucking balls on him.

    I’ll be curious to see how that resonates with the fence sitters.

    That’s the real test. It also occurred to me that it might have a chance of undermining the Republican base, by reminding them that this candidate not only doesn’t love Jesus and babies as much as Bush does, he even holds positions similar to the antichrist. Horrors!

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  78. I hope you’ll pardon the self-promotion, but this is the first time in years of reading Feministe that I’ve had a gimmicky tangent to take. On the subject of the racist dogwhistle, I am working on a project to monitor and publicize the ways in which political figures and groups use racial hostility/anxiety as a covert tool in elections. We just launched a website to aggregate all the relevant news and commentary on the subject – StopDogWhistleRacism.com. Hope you like it.

    Good thing that you didn’t make me drink when I heard references to naivetĂ©….

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