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Split-Ticket Families

Lauren

I asked my mom to write in a story about her voting memories 1) because she’s a life-long, dedicated voter and 2) because I know she’s often been the ticket-splitter in her marriage (my dad is a dedicated Republican, a.k.a. devoted, unashamed wingnut). To my surprise, she actually wrote in:

I doubt there are many families where the voters are straight one party of the other. In my southern family of the ’60s, my mother was the most vocal of the family and she NEVER let anyone know who she voted for, but I don’t have any memories of my father speaking his own political views.

I do believe there were both Republicans and Democrats in my family, but most were Democrats (Faubus, McClellan, Fulbright). Even during the Vietnam War, politics played a role only in what we saw on TV and read about occasionally in Time (or some other magazine). People were too busy with their own lives to think too much about politics and the anti-war demonstrations seemed too far away to be real or to have any kind of effect on our lives in rural Arkansas.

I was proud and determined when I came of age and could vote. I have voted every national election since 1964 and have not missed but one local/state election. In my own family of three daughters, we are diverse and we have to steel ourselves when we come together so as not
to break the families ties over politics. I am not of strong beliefs, but my three educated, independent daughters are and they will fight to the end to get their views across to anyone who will listen and fight to be heard. Their father is very vocal about his beliefs and I think he stirs the pot to get discussions going. I am the peacemaker and ask them to not let our family differences in politics put a wedge between any two or more but it is a constant battle.

One niece was working to be a delegate for Obama and her parents were aghast at her change and at how hard she worked for his campaign–more effort was put out for this than any other single effort she had made.

As time goes by, I realize at my advanced age that I have an obligation and a desire to vote but my one vote will not in the end make a difference. After all, my husband (he of the Rush Limbaugh crowd) assures me his vote will cancel mine if I go in the “wrong” direction.

Thanks, ma! And she’s right — we do have to brace ourselves before any political discussions in the family because they get nasty fast. No politics on family holidays unless you’re willing to knowingly divide yourself from the offensive other for the duration of turkey-cutting and present-unwrapping and Scrabble-playing.

I do, however, have an issue with the terminology of “canceling out” your partner’s or other people’s votes. Every vote counts in your district, so go ahead and vote your conscience. And hell, if it rubs, take some pride in canceling out your partner’s ignorant-ass vote.

IF YOU HAVE A STORY TO SHARE email fauxrealtho at gmail dot com with “VOTE” in the title. You still have through early October to get registered to vote in the 2008 presidential election.

8 thoughts on Split-Ticket Families

  1. And even if it were about “canceling out,” isn’t it important to cancel out wingnut votes? You have to match their numbers before you can beat them!

    I also come from a family with a wingnut father. We stopped discussing politics when I was about 17. Honestly, I don’t even know his views on abortion — only that I stopped talking to him for a week when he laughed at a joke about bombing an abortion clinic, and that he has never said anything critical about my working at Planned Parenthood. But my knowledge on his views on foreign policy, health care, “socialism,” affirmative action, and so on are more than enough. The good news is that things are much more harmonious in my family. The bad news is that they still think I’m a crazy feminist and I have nothing to talk to them about.

  2. Yeah, I can’t talk a lot of politics with my family of origin either. My liberal mom has become more conservative over the years, and my dad is a “broken glass Republican” (would crawl over broken glass to vote Republican). My brother has arch-conservative views too. There are some things that they are really liberal about, though. My dad is actually a feminist, believe it or not. What’s hilarious is the way I was raised led me to be liberal, not as a reaction against them. When I was a teenager and would argue politics with my dad, mom would tell him, ” You cried around and wanted kids who would question authority!” When the presidential race began, I announced my position and said that I was done talking about it for the duration, and so we talk about other things. We get along really well, actually.

  3. Sometimes the best household to live in is one that is truly independent of left or right wing politics. My African-American parents were working class folks and always voted for the candidate whom they felt best represented their views as a whole. For me that won’t be the case. I’ve heard about as much rhetoric as I can stand and quite frankly, I’m not pleased. So as an independent voter, I’ve decided neither presidential candidate will get my vote in November. I know some here will think I’m committing political suicide by doing this, but I can’t, not in good conscience, support a presidency for either Senator.

    In short, they give me the willies!!!

  4. My formerly-liberal father listens to too much Sirius Patriot and is sliding right. My formerly-wingnut mother is taking stock of her life and sliding leftish. They’re divorced. I talk economic politics with Mom, not social.

    My husband has hit the “Pox on both their houses” stage and I’m at the “I’d vote for Satan himself if he wasn’t running Republican.” (The kids are coming out liberal, three for Obama and one holding his peace)

    It’s…interesting around the house.

  6. “I am the peacemaker and ask them to not let our family differences in politics put a wedge between any two or more but it is a constant battle.”

    I’ve never understood families that argue about politics all the time. To me, it seems like arguing with the minister during the middle of her sermon. When I was growing up, everyone was entitled to their own opinions, entitled to declare those opinions, and that was the end of it.

  7. My family is composed pretty much entirely of radical to moderate liberals, political discussions usually turn into singing to the choir.

    I do have to disagree with the ‘your vote counts’ line though. I live in the panhandle of Texas, and while I (and the rest of my family) will be voting, I suffer no illusions that my vote will matter in the slightest. The Electoral College elects the president, not the people, and barring a miracle the EC votes from Texas will go to McCain. My vote is little more than an upraised middle finger to the 85% of my neighbors who voted Bush in 2004.

    My political participation is mostly in phonebank work for Obama in the few “swing states” where people’s vote really does matter.

  8. I can’t imagine the relationship dynamics of a Liberal/Wingnut partnership.

    It would never work for me. Its not just about party identification or ideology. There’s an underlying social conscience there. There’s a different world view in play. I’ve never had a serious relationship with a Con. First, there would be too many arguments. And I don’t like arguing or fighting with my partner. And, honestly, I don’t know if I could respect anyone who voted for George W. Bush.

    But, I tend to take politics and public policy seriously. Maybe that type of relationship works for people who aren’t as emotionally invested in it.

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