The terms, when speaking of sex workers, “selling their bodies”/ “selling themselves” need to die in a fire. Rather than write about it yet again, I am just going to hack a few bits from previous posts over from that dive I call a blog so perhaps some perspective can be gained and I won’t have to see those terms in any more comment threads! Hey, a gal can dream, right?
“…I got to thinking about the terminology used by folks when discussing the business of sex work, namely the assertion that sex workers are “selling themselves”. I have decided not only do I dislike this phrasing, but it is inaccurate.
When something is bought or sold, it implies direct ownership. You buy a car, you own it. You buy a pair of shoes, you own them. Yes, in some unfortunate cases, some sex workers are owned, literally, but by in large, that is not truly the case. What ever other reasons, conditions or motivations rest behind a woman or mans involvement in sex work, be it stripping or erotic massage or porn or nude modeling or prostitution, they are not owned. They are not bought. They are not selling themselves. They are providing a service, which does not result in ownership. I also think often, whether intentional or not, when people use such terminology “you are selling yourself”, there is a level of shock tactics involved. Such terms imply slavery…that the sex worker, regardless of his or her conditions, level of autonomy, or choices is, merely via the terminology, property. A slave. The whole of their being a commodity, which is bought and sold. And that is demeaning. Truth is, sex workers are not property, or slaves, or the whole of their being a commodity. They are not bought or owned, and they are not selling themselves, they are selling a service. They are not even truly selling their bodies or sexuality. If anything, they are renting them out for a fee. The majority of them are not ‘kept’ by their customers. They are not put away somewhere after they have served their purpose like a car or a pair of shoes. They are people who then go their own way, do their own thing, and live their lives. They have not been sold. They have provided a service, conducted business, and remain people rather than goods. I may sell sexuality, but I am not owned. No one has a deed or receipt for me as a person. I am not selling myself, nor being sold. I am providing a service and perhaps renting my sexuality. That is what a sex worker does. I go home to my own house and my own life; I am not ‘used then put in my owners garage’. I am not a slave or someone’s property, and terminology such as “you’re selling yourself” implies just that, and it is demeaning, shaming, and inaccurate. So please think of that the next time you decide to talk about sex workers selling themselves, because doing so objectifies them, boils them down to merely their sexuality just as much the worse of consumers might. It implies that the whole of their being is what they are selling; when in truth they are renting a fantasy, a body, their sexual or erotic organs and movement skills. Which is not all they are, it is not ‘themselves’. Get it now?”
“…Then there are those who “sell their bodies”…and even amongst them there is a caste system. Super Models and professional athletes are often highly paid celebrities, even though they are selling their bodies. Many manual laborers, while not respected like doctors or comedians, are often seen as honest, work-a-day folk who make hard work and sweat noble in a blue-collar way…then there are those others, you know, them…the whores and hustlers and strippers who are selling nude bodies, or gasp, even more dreadful than that…what’s between their legs! Which automatically equates in the minds of many to their dignity, their intimacy, their self-respect, their souls…
Which also makes it in the minds of many the only sort of profession where the whole of your worth as human is what’s for sale…and am I the only one who finds it mildly ironic that so many people seem to equate genitalia to the physical and spiritual representation of the sole source and whole worth of a human? Especially atheists and pagans and feminists and who ever else who are trying to buck the patriarchal/religious chastity/purity/virginity thing? You can sell your mind, and your social skills, even parts of your body…but once genitalia is involved…suddenly, the rules change, because genitals=the whole of your being because they are such intimate, sacred bits.
Also, it seems that selling, and I mean literally selling, some parts of the body are okay…so long as it is not T&A. Women can sell eggs. They can sell a kidney. They can sell their hair. They can sell blood and plasma. They can rent out their wombs as a surrogate…but law, heaven, and feminism forbid they rent out their c— (sigh, edit of the C word-RE) or sell a nude display of that body of theirs…”
Okay, rant over…I shall continue with activism tomorrow evening…