In defense of the sanctimonious women's studies set || First feminist blog on the internet

Hey You Fatty

That’s right I’m talking to you fatty with no shape and no curves.  You queen of the anti-woman, don’t try and hide your grotesqueness under the label of thick. Qviloa is on to your desperate little charade. You cannot possibly love your body the way it is, because it is not appealing to men.

“In North America it seems that most white men like thin women, while most black men like thick women. When people say that black men like fat women they are mixing up fat with thick.”

While you are conforming your body to meet male standards make sure that you slide yourself into the appropriate racial category. If you are white and happen to fall under the category of “thick”, the males that you are “supposed” to mate with will still find you unappealing. That’s right white women, you have to go the extra step and make sure that you are anorexic enough to meet the modern day beauty standards, or you may find yourself alone night after night living out that famous New Years eve scene from Bridget Jones Diary. Can you picture yourself alone, drunk and singing all by yourself? That is the life that awaits you. Isn’t avoiding that, worth getting a serious disease and starving yourself half to death.  Buck up, think about what you are risking…if you don’t do this you may never have the pleasure of another deep dick again.

“Since liking thick women seems so natural to me and since thick women are clearly the ones best able to bear children, it is hard for me to understand how so many white men like thin women, though clearly they do. Some black men do too.”

Not getting the dick means no motherhood. Mother nature would not approve. Uterus, eggs, fallopian tubes and vagina equals all women want to be mothers. You are risking your biological imperative by stubbornly hanging on to all of this extra weight.  If you don’t stock that fridge with weight watchers meals immediately your DNA will never be passed on to the next generation.  Don’t think about the expense of those high sodium, frozen meal replacement dinners, think about it as paying a tithe to the temple of dick.  If you are feeling hungry on this new diet, just imagine how full you will feel with a mouthful of cum. The benefits to swallowing include, but are not limited to fructose sugar, water, vitamin C, citric acid, enzymes and zinc, all for a mere 5-7 calories. Did I mention the special honor of sucking a dick in the first place. So put a lock on that freezer and dream about the days when your nutritional requirements will be met with a teaspoon of cum. With a steady diet of dick and cum you will be able to wear all of those pretty thongs, to show off your now visible feminine curves.

I must be some kind of unnatural anomaly. I have been fat most of my life and guess what, when I wanted dick, I got dick. I didn’t have to starve myself or walk across hot stones to prove my worthiness either. Fat women get laid when we want it, believe it or not life is not all vibrators, wine and tears. I don’t spend my days looking at pictures of other women in envy. I also am committed to living my life everyday, and as such the idea of waiting until I loose all of my so called excessive weight to stake my claim in this world is decidedly unappealing. So Qviloa you keep telling the world what is appropriate for women, and we fat women will just keep on getting on. While you are at it, you might want to take the time to think about what women find attractive, because shockingly enough having a dick is no guarantee of access to the bodies of women. We might also have a demand or two.


53 thoughts on Hey You Fatty

  1. The comments there are predictable. Lots of praise to the author and a “discussion” about the bodies of the women listed. No one seems to notice or care that those women are human beings who are, in fact, not alive solely for the pleasure of men.

    And, of course, drivel like this:

    Maybe I’m brainwashed, but I like ‘em thin thin thin! Kate Moss is “average” for me. Skinny chicks just look glamorous and sexy to me. Sorry, fatties.

    OH NOEZ!!1!!…damn you random, anonymous intertubez dood, you were my last hope…now I’ll never have teh sex! All of my dreams have been dashed

  2. Personally, I don’t want to have sex with a guy who views me as an object and can only see me for my figure. Those guys that are obsessed with “no fat chicks” are generally horrible to be around anyway, and for me, time spent with my man (as I am a hetero “thick” girl) is about more than my figure.

    Renee: Amen sister. I couldn’t have put the outrage better.

  3. What a loser. He just broke it down for the world like it’s this deep, academic topic. And someone actually praised him for showcasing a wide variety of black female figures! Yeah, dozens in the “Do” category and a whopping ONE in the “Don’t.”

  4. That was funny as hell; thanks. But that link wasn’t worth the energy that I used to right click my mouse?

  5. I like how that guy characterizes some women (i.e. fat women) as not having a “figure” as if there were only a certain set of silhouettes women can fit into.

    Racist, sexist dribble from another person who doesn’t get it.

  6. I love how he equated being “thick” with ability to bear children. Boy should read up on actual pelvis shapes, my mother and I appear to be “thick” and therefore should be able to pop babies out no problem. But here’s the thing, we actually have narrow pelvises (or pelvic openings) which nearly killed my mother when she gave birth to me. So the appearance of big hips isn’t really as much of an indicator of fertility and reproductive success as he believes it to be… Really if the human race reproduced as per this type of catergorization (NO SEX FOR TEH FATTIES), we wouldn’t be here today 😛

    This guy is a complete idiot, but nothing new really…

  7. Eww. Fat hatred sucks – it even affects us non-fatties! I’m a bit curvy, not fat (although there is absolutely nothing wrong with being fat) – and I hate being made to feel ashamed of my body. I’m anywhere from a size 7 to 12, depending on the clothing store, and with people like me, a lot of people are “OMG FAT!”. I, despite my relative smallness (Like I said, I’m kind of tall and a little curvy), can’t even shop at a bunch of stores. And…I hate it when people equate skinny with beautiful and fat with ugly – I’d take Beth Ditto over Kate Moss any day!

  8. I actually found it kind of fascinating the amount of time he put into this post categorizing women’s bodies. He must spend a lot of time in his fantasy world where women like Beyonce, Iman and Serena Williams are laid out in front of him like a smorgasborg of pussy, and he’s standing there with his toothpick in the air debating which would please him more.

  9. Agreed with everyone who posted and…..

    If women have to be “fat” to bear children then how the hell do women in Africa have roughly 8-14 children in their lifetime? They’re starving (aka thin), black, and …having children with black men.

    So… the continent with the most black men also probably has the thinnest population of black women–and they still get it on. Clearly, the author thinks that only the opinions of American men matter (even though their opinions are completely effed). And clearly, IT MUST NOT MATTER WHAT SIZE/SHAPE YOU ARE FOR A MAN TO WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU. IF A MAN IS HETEROSEXUAL HE WILL WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH A WOMAN.

    end scene.

  10. *taps fingers on table* So why did I end up clicking that lick… better yet, why did I dare to read the comments?

  11. What a doofus. Who gave that turd the right to determine which women are acceptable and which are not, based on their physical appearance?

    Thanks for your post, Renee!

  12. If women have to be “fat” to bear children then how the hell do women in Africa have roughly 8-14 children in their lifetime?

    No, no! Not “fat”, Chel….”thick.”

    Though, I’m still not sure what “thick” means, exactly – but whatever it is, it’s not fat ‘cuz ewwww fatties!

    And, since when did “thick” become a compliment, anyway?

  13. Why are scientists wasting their time on better batteries and cures for cancer when what we really need is a Fuckability Meter? That way women (it would only work on women) could be objectively assessed on their right to take up space in the world, and long, incoherent posts on waist-to-hip ratio and the precise definition of “thick” would be unnecessary.

  14. Though, I’m still not sure what “thick” means, exactly

    Thick means a woman with wide hips, full thighs, and a full butt, but a smallish waist. She can have big boobs or not. Think Beyonce’s shape.

    It’s just another beauty standard. Maybe slightly more obtainable than the super thin, narrow hipped large breasted white American beauty ideal, but still not in the cards for the majority of women who are naturally bigger or smaller or just not shaped that way.

  15. If women have to be “fat” to bear children then how the hell do women in Africa have roughly 8-14 children in their lifetime? They’re starving (aka thin), black, and …having children with black men.

    Chel,

    That was a totally ignorant and ridiculous comment you made right there. Please dont generalise African women by the narrow view of war-torn Africa that you see on CNN. We’re quite healthy looking/fat, and yup, believe it or not, ‘thicker’ women are appreciated here too. And I’m not sure where your getting your 8-14 children figure either. Please don’t use things your not sure about to prove ur points.

    A size-12 woman from Nigeria/Africa.

  16. Thick means a woman with wide hips, full thighs, and a full butt, but a smallish waist. She can have big boobs or not. Think Beyonce’s shape.

    Yeah, I understand what it means….the comment I made wasn’t meant to be taken seriously.

  17. eh tough thing, nothing wrong in having a preference in what you generally find sexually attractive but that should have no bearing on your interaction with 99.999% of people. People, at least most of my friends, need to go through this process though of actually thinking about it, seen it a ton and usually ends in a good place.

  18. I love that this guy hears, “Black men like fat women,” and decides that his best response is, “No no no — black men like THICK women! It’s totally different!” *rolls eyes*

  19. I love that this guy hears, “Black men like fat women,” and decides that his best response is, “No no no — black men like THICK women! It’s totally different!” *rolls eyes*

    I know! It’s like, “Oh noes! People will think I like the fatties! I can’t bear the shame!!!”

    Great post, Renee. I was both giggling and applauding your points. I’m a fat girl and I don’t have to go begging for dick. I have a pretty hot sex life, too, if I do say so myself. 😉

  20. Chel,

    That was a totally ignorant and ridiculous comment you made right there. Please dont generalise African women by the narrow view of war-torn Africa that you see on CNN. We’re quite healthy looking/fat, and yup, believe it or not, ‘thicker’ women are appreciated here too. And I’m not sure where your getting your 8-14 children figure either. Please don’t use things your not sure about to prove ur points.

    A size-12 woman from Nigeria/Africa.

    I am sorry to have offended, and you are right that most of my knowledge about Africa comes from the news and some research I have done for classes. But it cannot be denied that there are millions of women in Africa who have over 6 children (which is the continental average of children per woman, which to me is a huge number) and that the men involved in conceiving these children didn’t seem to care if these women were “thick” or not (I just assumed most would be thin and I shouldn’t have-that was ignorant) because some baby makin still went on.

  21. Hey, just a small correction: my blog name is not Qviloa, it is Abagond. “Qviloa” is just some word that appears in the picture at the top. I did not think anyone noticed it.

  22. I will counter-post on my blog. It should be there by tomorrow morning New York time.

    Question: is this post original to Feministe or Womanist Musings or somewhere else?

  23. Short answer: you are giving me a power I simply do not have – to determine which women are “acceptable” in terms of physical beauty and which are not. I am not even Hugh Hefner or Anna Wintour. I wish. If I had that kind of power then I would broaden the scope of female beauty way beyond the white stick women you see over and over again and, yes, I would make sure the kind of women I like personally get put in that mix – thick black women. But in no way shape or form am I saying that white women, thin women or fat women are no good. Hardly. All I am saying is that I do not like them as much as thick black women and so it is unlikely I would marry them. That is all.

  24. Awesome post, Renee. For one thing, most of the “thick” women pictured have the same waist size but bigger boobs/hips than the “thin” ones. So how flexible is that? It’s just as (or more) difficult and/or expensive to procure T&A if you don’t already have it than to go up and down in weight. Qviloa wants brownie points for acceptance of 38-24-28 instead of 34-24-34 — yeah right.

    Also, his comments about bearing children are a little idiotic, since hip girth isn’t really the determinant. My hip girth is all about doing a ton of squats and not some natural blessing of mother nature, and I pushed out a good-sized kid.

    And you’re right — women have requirements too. Ifwe were to write an article telling guys we need them to be “thick,” I’m not sure how well received that would be. Qviloa might have some issues with it.

  25. Renee, I love you for writing this. Thank you. This fat girl hasn’t laughed this hard in a while.

  26. Awesome post!

    I’m by no means “fat”… or even “curvy”. I have been a skinny little thing with no hips, tits, or ass my entire life. Ridiculed for my lack of an “ideal” figure since puberty, my best friends and allies in the war against negative body image have always been bigger women. Although we’ve experienced different types of nasty comments, we find common ground on how undesirable we supposedly are… but somehow always manage to find love/sex whenever we’ve looked for it. Fuck Qviloa – women come in all shapes and sizes, and we’re all beautiful.

  27. I did notice that I experience less sexual harassment from white men now that I am no longer a dancer and have put on 25lbs from eating regularly and not training several hours per day.
    Personally, I like the vacation. It also limits the “flavor of the day” advances I was dealing with from mostly white men.

    I honestly don’t know how many of my former boyfriends were with me mostly because of my physical condition. I know at least one of them, who happens to be African American and tends to like athletic or dancer body types isn’t as interested.
    THis comfy 25lbs I’m personally enjoying may prevent me from having sex with those particular men who have fetishized a certain body type, but, last time I checked, that is a small percentage of the male population.

  28. On the other hand, vibrators and wine don’t sound half bad. You wouldn’t catch any tears on me with that combination. So, *ahem,* thick as I am, no tears for you.

  29. Iwas in an upscale suburban shopping center in Seattle not so long ago that had all the regular stores like Gap and Talbots and so on, but they had nothing on the racks over size 16. Has anyone else noted that phenomenon?
    They could have posted signs saying, “Nothing for fat chicks here.”

  30. I am a big girl. In realistic terms, I am fat. But I refuse to say that I am fat because I am not ‘a fattie’, know what I mean? I realise this is a tricky line to walk, and I have reached a point where I am far more disgusted by anorexic models than even genuinely obese people (not that there’s anythign wrong with being thin aaaaa, oh noes, I am tangled in the wrong words)

    I just have reached a point where I have been a ‘big girl’ forever. Even when I wasn’t, I thought I was. If I lost too much weight, now, I would have to totally rethink who I am. And now that I have stopped seeing myself through the eyes of society (ie, big = ugly and disgusting, teeny slim = hot. Always. Nothing esle matters) I can enjoy myself, enjoy what I have that skinny girls don’t, rock the clothes I rock, enjoy my food, enjoy being warm in winter!

    And seeing all my thinner friends tell me geniunely and with feeling that I am not fat and, in the same breath, complain that they’ve put on weight just breaks my heart. It makes me glad to be big, to have had to work to love myself. It’s still hard some days, but everyone has days like that, regardless of their weight.

    I look like me. And that’s awesome.

  31. that’s pretty much the same i see here, Hattie. except i am hard pressed to find a store that sells anything over a 12. yup. a 12.

    even Old Navy said that they pulled most of their “plus” line b/c “big girls just don’t shop here”.

    wow.

    fantastic post Renee.

  32. Same here in the south, and ironically there is a TINY population of “skinny” chicks. /sigh

  33. At the same time I have to hear the foreign (mostly white) men around me complain about all the disgusting, fat white women in this country and how 90-110 pounds is ideal for a woman, and then the Japanese men stare at me in awe and say, “Wow! You’re American? But you’re not fat!”

    So this discussion really resonates with me. I’m white and actually pretty small (S 4-6, generally), but my hips are wide and that makes me look bigger … and a lot of my white male peers have these blinders on where they somehow filter out every overweight Japanese and compare us all to the stick thin ones. “Japanese women are so thin! Foreign women are so fat! Ew! Yucky!”

    Of course, I can’t put too much stock in the opinions of Nice Guys and LBHs, which most white dudes here are, but it’s still hard to hear it over and over and over. (It’s also hard to hear the “But you’re not fat! Americans are all fat!” so much, too. I’m really on the verge of slapping a LOT of people.)

  34. Funnily enough in the UK it’s going the other way- I’m a UK 6/8 (I think that’d be a US 2/4) and have started finding it really tough to buy clothes that fit- some mainstream shops seem to start a lot of ranges at size 10, and at least one seems to have changed their sizes to reflect these so-called “real” women we hear so much about, meaning that a size 8 skirt fell off me when I tried it on! I wish they just wrote the waist/bust/hips etc. measurements on the label in inches.

  35. Yeah so I got the name of his blog wrong but if he thinks I am throwing him anymore traffic to spread his anti-fat view he has another thing coming.

  36. I just recently started reading this blog and I’m so glad I did. I’m fat, have been for years, but until recently (due to a knee injury) was very strong and muscular under the fat. I’ve felt judged all my life … even when I was a “normal” size in my 20’s I thought I was fat!

    It’s so wonderful to hear from other big women without the judgement attached. I’ve let society define me for too long … I admire those of you who don’t. I know there are health issues, but I’m doing what I can about them … my problem is really that I haven’t yet fully learned to accept myself.

    For those looking for large-sized clothing, I recommend http://www.makingitbig.com, http://www.junonia.com (for activewear) and sometimes Coldwater Creek, though they cut their tops too small and too short, in my opinion. There is also http://www.zaftique.com.

    Best

    Sue in New Mexico

  37. Where I come from, “thick” is short for “thick-headed,” i.e. stupid. So when someone describes a woman as “thick,” I don’t think, “He’s saying she has an hourglass figure,” I think, “He’s saying she’s an idiot.” A second later, I get it, but that particular usage bothers me.

    Oh, this blog entry? Sad. As if any of those women would give that schmuck the time of day, let alone be interested in his shallow, sexist ass. Hell, he bores ME to death, and I’m not even a rich, gorgeous supermodel.

  38. God, yes, Hattie – I completely flummoxed my boyfriend by bursting into tears in the middle of the mall after walking into the the third straight store that didn’t carry anything bigger than a 12. Nothing says “fun day of shopping” like “you are too fat to shop here”.

  39. its amazing how no one ever asks what women want-i’m even more fussy though. i only like men who look like ryan reynolds. so no mating with those low life’s eh ;D

  40. skinny girl, here. i’d like to share a bit of irony.
    i’m a size 4-6 (US) but that doesn’t seem to matter; in pants sizes i’ve never been over a 3. i’m an A cup, but only in certain brands of brassieres; shopping in the ‘normal’ section of most stores is an exercise in futility for me. i’m skinny, but in the wrong areas. and, for the record, i have never weighed over 110.

    what i find ironic is that while i can sometimes find shirts that fit appropriately, in the vast majority of “fashionable” stores, shirts that ‘fit’ are always too loose in the front. the next size down, while it fits in the front, will be so tight elsewhere it’ll look airbrished on. as a consequence, i’ve always received a strange sort of double-message: i’m skinny, but still don’t have the “right” curves. my sister, who is bustier than i am, sometimes has the same problem.

    there is no way to please men like that. and women should not WANT to, since on the other hand these men would of course never think THEY have to please women. they are therefore not worth the time or energy taken to glance in their direction.

    anyway, sorry if this post is a complete red herring. i just wanted to point out that even their ‘sacred’ thinness is just a catch-22.

  41. This is an amazing article, Renee. And very funny, too. I love what you write here and in womanist musings, but I seldom comment because of shyness. You are truly awesome.
    I am a size 14 and I find it really hard to find clothes in the north of Mexico. The only chainstore we have that sells anything for plus-sized youngsters has sticky clothes in tacky colours and slogans like “single and available” and “love me”, and they play nothing but reggaeton and other tasteless kinds of music. It sort of portrays fat girls as sex-starving, needy and cheap who can’t stop their perreo. I have to buy my clothes in Laredo, TX, at Lane Bryant and other mythical boutiques. In Dallas, however, I could find nothing but ONE blouse (a pretty awesome one, thanks) and things like makeup, creams and things that don’t come in sizes. It’s quite sad to realise that it gets worse and worse the more you go north in the USA. I’m going to NYC for summer courses in a couple of weeks, and pretty positive I’ll come back with a new pair of socks or something.

    We are the ones who deserve an apology.

  42. I think you interpreted his post incorrectly. Abagond is simply a man talking about the physical attributes be prefers in the opposite sex. What is so wrong about that? Don’t women talk about what they would like their ideal man to look like? If Abagond was a woman and wrote about how much he liked men with six pack stomachs who are six feet tall, would you have the same reaction.

    If you want to read a male blogger who really rips apart women based on their looks please visit one of the pick up artist blogs.

    As women, we must stop allowing male preference in women hurt us. If Abagond likes thick women so what, there are plenty of men who like fat women, just as there are many men who like thin women. You must deal with your body image issues and not look to Vogue or advertising to make you feel better about yourself

    P.S. The c.um references are very crude.

  43. I am a size 14 and I find it really hard to find clothes in the north of Mexico. The only chainstore we have that sells anything for plus-sized youngsters has sticky clothes in tacky colours and slogans like “single and available” and “love me”, and they play nothing but reggaeton and other tasteless kinds of music. It sort of portrays fat girls as sex-starving, needy and cheap who can’t stop their perreo. I have to buy my clothes in Laredo, TX, at Lane Bryant and other mythical boutiques. In Dallas, however, I could find nothing but ONE blouse (a pretty awesome one, thanks) and things like makeup, creams and things that don’t come in sizes.

    In tasteless do you mean “black music”?

  44. In tasteless do you mean “black music”?

    And Puerto Rican/Caribbean Latino music, apparently. Seriously, cyn – what gives?

  45. Renee, you show your own hidden bias by directing this entire post at white women, do you not care what he says about black women? Pfft.

  46. The only chainstore we have that sells anything for plus-sized youngsters has sticky clothes in tacky colours and slogans like “single and available” and “love me”, and they play nothing but reggaeton and other tasteless kinds of music.
    1. Seems like someone needs to pay a visit to the juniors sections of most stores. I worked at the juniors section of JC Penney when I was in high school (until 2001) and that was the general theme. Why? Um, because they sell.
    2. Reggaeton is fabulous.

    i’m skinny, but still don’t have the “right” curves.
    It is your choice how your interpret your shopping woes, woes that pretty much everyone else has. My top and bottom halves are not the same size. I am a size 10 if you average my top and bottom. I qualify as “thick,” bad in white U.S. and good in black, Italian, Persian and Latin U.S. Crazy idea: find styles that work for your body and get a good tailor since there are few well-dressed women who go without one. An alternative is to shop designers and stores that cut clothes for your body type. J Crew, Diane von Furstenberg, DKNY, etc. work for me as well as Gap’s curvy jeans which saves me bundles on alterations. You’ve decided that there’s something wrong with your body. That’s your choice. You can easily decide that the clothes need to be changed instead of presuming that the world hasn’t deemed your figure acceptable.

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