In defense of the sanctimonious women's studies set || First feminist blog on the internet

Get over it.

Jill

Says James Wolcott to the legions of white dudes who are up in arms about uppity bitches invading “their” spaces, from the golf course to the factory line to the White House:

Lunch room, locker room: the trash talk is still being batted around about women as if everything’s the fault of a few feminist bitches with frigid temperatures and Tilda Swinton hauteur who insist on being where they’re not wanted, going where they don’t belong. And underneath the trash talk is the even more unattractive noise of white men whining because things aren’t like they used to be. No, they are not. This news should have reached you by now and soaked in. Things haven’t been like they used to be for about thirty years now, hell, maybe forty. So set your inner Pat Buchanan free in that patchy stretch of woods along the interstate and accept the reality of women’s equality without being such a bullying baby about it.


Read it all. Thanks to Lauren for the link.

15 thoughts on Get over it.

  1. Great read. On the golf part of it, it sucks they kept her out of that tournament. It was a local tournament, as with the US Pro Tour only the LPGA discriminates based on gender, but she should have been able to play. The club is saying they will have male and female tournaments in the future though which is good though I’m sure the men will probably get better tee times and such. If they do have mens and womens tournaments do you think this top amateur should be allowed to play in the mens tournament?

    As far as women invading “men’s” spaces, perhaps I’m a bit too young to really worry about that though at times I do wish there were some male only places for me to go to where I wouldn’t be viewed as dysfunctional for wanting to be there.

  4. This is why Wolcott is MY BOY.

    Oh, and Tilda Swinton is an actress. She plays a lot of evil characters (“The Beach,” “The Chronicles of Narnia”).

  6. I like to go out with a few male friends once in while; but I have a hard time understanding the need to keep to a single sex in groups larger than a handful. But, then I had women friends come to my bachelor party. I think this is mostly generational, though sadly there are still younger dudes who long for it. I noticed as a young man that the men who espoused this view felt they couldn’t speak freely in front of women – mostly older guys who believed that women were delicate flowers that needed protection from bad male language. I never felt like I had to not swear or not speak freely when women were around, so male-only spaces don’t have the same appeal to me.

    A tournament at a public course should not discriminate based on gender. I hope she wins her lawsuit.

  7. From the original WSJ article:

    “It seems like someone else should be there,” says Dan Leihgeber, a smelter in a steel plant here, who is supporting Sen. Clinton. “It’s like there’s someone missing.”

    Gee, now they know how women and minorities have felt for the last 222 years.

  8. Exactly Ms C, it’s ironic that when a white male is missing from the lineup, all these people are suddenly worried they won’t be represented, or feel like the cadidate isn’t ‘one of them’. Shame the same kind of person never stops to wonder if the kind of canididate they’d like to pick is truly represenitive of everyone else. Minorities and women have been left unrepresented so far, but that doesn’t seem to register. Funny that. I have very little sympathy with the spoiled little white boys who would rather vote for a Republican, supposedly against their political ideals, rather than someone who does, but isn’t just like them. It really speaks volumes about their bigotry that they feel more sure of their purposes being served by a president from the other side. How depressing.

    I’m a Brit, so I can’t say I’d know who to vote for, since it doesn’t directly affect me. But whoever IS sworn in affects pretty much the whole world, although most Americans probably don’t really consider that aspect much. whoever it is, though, here’s hoping it’s a Democrat.

  9. Where do people get off in saying we’re not ready for a female president and how much longer do we have to wait to be “ready”? Because personally, I don’t see sexism ending any time soon, and I don’t understand why other “less fortunate, less developed, less advanced” countries can have female prime ministers and presidents and we can’t.

    And why switch to the other side just because a black man and a white woman are running on your side? I can understand not voting, but voting for someone who doesn’t even hold the same principles but LOOKS the same as you is the most shallow argument I’ve ever heard for electing the LEADER OF A COUNTRY.

    If that’s the way democrats are going to behave in this country, I’m looking for a one-way ticket out. This is ridiculous and beyond childish.

  10. raoul,
    As a younger guy who longs for it sometimes, its not because I feel I can’t speak freely in front of females. A male-only space for me isn’t a place where I feel I am free to curse or anything like that. For example, if there was a gym I could go to where there was a part that was male only I would appreciate that as I am a rather large person and I could do without the pressure and the comments one can hear in a mixed-gender environment and the female stares and comments do sting more. Male only groups are very few and far between in the area I live in now, Georgia, and it would be great to have a space for discussion of any number of issues to include the gender construct, fatherhood/parenting and so on. It’s not wanting a clubhouse or a new building for the old boys network. Its mostly our fault as we are conditioned to a degree to not want those things but, for another example, a group for older men similar to the one I see around here, the red hat society, it would do wonders but it simply doesn’t exist. As I said we are conditioned to not want these things or in the extreme to dismiss them as too feminine but how to change that attitude without them?

  11. I don’t think you’re a bad person for wanting that James, but I do find it difficult to fathom. There usually are gyms which are free-weight focused that have very few women members. You can go out with your male friends with no women if you like.

    I mean, I personally generally prefer the company of men so I’d be upset if I couldn’t go somewhere with my friends, and don’t really feel the need for women only spaces. But I can respect other’s need for them.

  12. I can see why it would be hard to fathom as it was coming from a person with privilege but the examples, a male only space in a gym and a male only place for discourse on male issues just seem to make sense to me if only for the tremendous relief some female only spaces and experiences have provided my female friends. While its true that in place of the red hat society we have things like the shriners and the like they often have entry requirements far above that of the RHS. I can and do go out with only a few male friends from time to time just as I go out with female friends and mixed groups but its less about that and more about a space or forum where either a lot of issues or one specific one could be discussed so we could help ourselves realize the inequities in our society and work towards change. Simply realizing, on a large scale, that there is a need for that would be a huge leap, let alone dedicating spaces or time for it.

    Do we need men in the workplace seminars, male only professional groups/meetings, male only city busing or to beat a drum out in the woods? Probably not but I do see how these spaces being afforded to males could be a boon to all society as they could be very transformative. Lastly on this, this need not be a building or office that admits only men 24/7, just the ability to have male only groups being given funds by the gov’t and other sources for example without any adverse reactions because its a male only group. That money and social sanction could then be used to fund all kinds of workshops, training and so on. It needn’t all be male-only all the time but some if it being so I think would help. Social stigma and the gender straitjacket would prevent some men from going and learning if women were present.

    Finally, I was a bit hasty in choosing my name as there is another James posting on the site. Rather than go with James2 I will choose JamesPi

  13. James, I respect that too. Something like the red hat society for men sounds like a great idea. I think their focus is on travel, right? You’ll probably also have luck with a small home-based group, also with an activity as an excuse for gathering, like a board game or a book club. For me small get-togethers with males friends 2-3 times a year is fine. I grew up with 5 sisters, so I am perfectly comfortable being the only man in a group of women.

  14. JamesPi- you might enjoy reading “Under Saturn’s Shadow” by James Hollis.

    Also, there’s something very wonderful about men wanting, not an old boy’s club where they can practice misogyny and dominance, but a “red hat society.” Love the idea. Love the imagery.

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