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The Good Old Days

Jill

While state senators are pining for the good ol’ days of easy rape and conservative Texas communities are doing their darndest to shame and punish young women who “choose life,” a Colorado representative is letting teen moms know exactly how he feels about them:

“In my parents’ day and age, they were sent away. They were shunned. They were called what they are … There’s no sense of shame today. Society condones it … They’re sluts. And I don’t mean just the women. I mean the men, too.”

Ah yes, the good old days when women were socially shunned and sent away upon becoming pregnant (and, sorry, but the young slutty men were never shunned or sent away). I’m sure that never contributed to increased abortion rates among young women. I’m sure that young women who become pregnant today will “choose life” when “pro-life” politicians tell them they’re whores who should be ostracized and shipped off.

But this is the “pro-life” movement for you — they rail against abortion, but then take every step possible to (1) make preventing unwanted pregnancy more difficult, and (2) punish and harm women who have kids. They aren’t just hostile to abortion rights; they’re hostile to women, and to women being able to make their own decisions.

Oh, but he “apologized:”

“I certainly could have had a better choice of words,” said Liston. “That’s the word that inadvertently came to my mind.”

Funny, because reading this, “self-righteous ass” is the term that inadvertently came to my mind. All my most genuine apologies for that.

25 thoughts on The Good Old Days

  1. If I may quote myself:

    An unmarried pregnant woman was an obvious, visible target for stigma; the man who fathered her child was neither so easily identified nor so evidently involved. That the physical burdens of pregnancy fall on the mother and not the father is a matter of biology, but when society frowns on unmarried pregnancy the burdens of stigma and shame are bound to go in the same direction.

    Very much not in favour of the good old days. And equal opportunity slut-shaming is a steaming pile of produce.

  2. Jill, when you nonpologize, don’t forget to say, “I’m sorry, Senator, if you were offended by my inadvertent word choice.”

  3. “and, sorry, but the young slutty men were never shunned or sent away”

    Well how could there be? There were no young slutty men. Sure, there were occasionally “overeager” men or men who “sowed their wild oats” or were “ladies’ men” or men who “had trouble taking ‘no’ for an answer” (that last category made up primarily of rapists) but slutty men? Nope. no way, no how.

    Yeah, those sure were the good old days, all right. /sarcasm

  4. I love how he says that it “inadvertently” came to mind.

    1. just because it came to mind…you still made the choice to say it.

    2. It came to mind for a reason…the word aardvark didn’t magically appear in his head he thought those girls were sluts so that’s the word he used.

    Honestly half the time I wish these people wouldn’t apologize. Half the time their apologies just hammer home the fact that they don’t think there’s anything wrong with it and they’re just pacifying the media. If you’re going to be an ass at least be proud of it.

  5. Sorry, I remember when this was common. If you grew up with it and never learned new modes of behavior, you’d see the activity as normal. I still feel odd about preggers in school.

  6. We don’t give a shit about you feeling odd when young women’s lives and futures are at stake. Seriously, “preggers”? These are people you’re talking about.

  8. The description of the proletarian woman as monster, as a beast… can be traced to an attempt to construct a fantastic being who swears, shrieks, spits, scratches, farts, bites, pounces, tears to shreds; who is slovenly, wind-whipped, hissing-red, indecent; who whores around, slaps its naked thighs, and can’t get enough of laughing at these men. …Klaus Theweleit, Male Fantasies, University of Minnesota Press

  9. Newsflash, representative. This is not your parents day and age. Teens and unmarried women (those sluts, you know) have been having babies without shame for quite a while. It’s not like just yesterday it was shameful, and today it’s A OK. Times have been changing for a while, and will continue to do so.

    I really hate when law-makers use phrases like “in my parents day and age” too, as if it was a better time. I’m sure that the peasants under really tyrannical rulers thought, “Wow, it was way better under so and so”, but I don’t see this guy pushing for a return to feudalism.

  10. Mold, the definition of insanity is performing the same action over and over and expecting different results.

    And by “same action”, I mean “posting boring trollish comments to a feminist blog”. And by “different results”, I meant “not having everyone laugh at you.”

  11. As for the actual content of this post, sickening. You hit the nail on the head here:

    But this is the “pro-life” movement for you — they rail against abortion, but then take every step possible to (1) make preventing unwanted pregnancy more difficult, and (2) punish and harm women who have kids. They aren’t just hostile to abortion rights; they’re hostile to women

    Perfectly connected to the earlier “piss off” post — you’d think a group that actually cares about babies and saving women from making bad choices would like a positive, true story about a young woman who chose to carry out her pregnancy. But they’d always rather see the opposite — the child should be a tragic burden, a lifelong punishment for her sexual sins. (Oh, AND the father’s. I’m really sure.)

    The representative’s comment also goes at the real “heart” of forcing pregnancy. If these women and girls go and abort, how will you identify the sluts?

  12. Ahhh yes….the “good old days” when girls either died from their abortions or were sent off to pregnant internment camps far away from peering eyes. Yeah – “those were the days….” (sung in tune with Edith Bunker’s voice….)

  13. My slutty friend in high school (1977 or 1978, I’m talking) who had a slutty baby girl and sluttily dropped out of school to raise her used to hire me to babysit sometimes. The boy who fathered the child did not stick around. In fact, his parents moved to a different town. He was a football player. I presume he went on ahead & attended college and everything. Maybe even fathered more children in a fine, upstanding, conservative manner.

    Nobody ever called him a slut.

    I will bet dollars to donuts he never paid a penny in support.

    Shunned, my ASS.

  14. They’re sluts. And I don’t mean just the women. I mean the men, too.

    Except men are never called sluts for engaging in behavior that is just as, pardon me, “slutty” as the women they’re, uh, “slutting around” with. I think this calls for a massive campaign to increase the prevalence of the term “man-whore” in our society’s vocabulary.

  15. There is a movie coming out… I don’t remember the name of it but it has that little girl from Little Miss Sunshine. Anyway, in the preview for it, her dad is explaining how he met her mother (*cough*rip off*cough*) and he mentions that he dated a lot of women before her mother. And she looks at him and asks: “What’s the word for man slut?”

    His answer? “They haven’t made one yet.”

    I think that says everything.

  16. Gosh, such ad hominem.

    Anyhow, I brought it up to see if you could get the point. From earlier posts you would know I am over 16. So is the legislator. Both of us have spent our formative years where expelling preggers was normal and accepted. If I feel odd, imagine what he feels. I did get to see pregnant girls graduating. He probably never did.

    Since most leg are far older than the posters on this blog, it would help your desire to change the system to understand those who are controlling it now. Or, you can wait 60 years until you can run for office.

  17. Mold… should we be so understanding and patient waiting for him to understand schools are no longer segregated? Just because he is older doesn’t mean that it is an excuse for him being an asshole. Feeling weird about graduating pregnant woman is one thing, but calling them a slut? That is just unacceptable.

  18. The legislator is an unmitigated ass. While it is possible to judge at least one action of the women in question as wrong he cannot see the disposition of their spirits, their repentance, their love for their children. Sex outside of marriage is shameful. Pregnancy outside of marriage, as such, is not–it is merely the consequence of an earlier mistake (some, including myself might argue that the pregnancy is providential, an example of God’s power to bring good out of evil.

    I guess that people like me and people like you sophistical nut jobs (in the nicest possible sense) can agree on some things after all.

  19. Thank you for calling attention to yet another attack on reproductive rights at the state level. This is where the lifers are directing their efforts because these guys are used to being invisible and their sexism unchallenged. I am 67 and remember when pregnant teens were expelled from schools and sent to baby farms to give birth and give up their infants for adoption. This was one of many ways teenagers were shamed and humiliated for being sexual whether they consented to the sex or not. Yes, pregnancy from incest was common too and easy to deny because the blood test would only prove that someone was not the father, not definitely that he was.

  20. I still feel odd about preggers in school.

    Both of us have spent our formative years where expelling preggers was normal and accepted.

    Are you aware of how infantile that word makes you sound? It makes it very hard to take you seriously.

  21. Mold, what exactly is a “pregger”? Is it like a badger or a kegger? I’ve never seen one, so I must confess a certain curiosity. I realize some women say they “are preggers” but the way you are using it sounds as if you are wholly defining pregnant women/girls by their pregnancy. How… charming and not even slightly misogynistic. Or you are just abusing the English language, whatever.

  24. Doug: The problem with “man-whore” is it makes it clear that the normal whore is a woman. Feminine base-case, as it were.

  25. Arlene,
    Thanks for the insight. One of my neighbors was imprgenated by her father and her grandfather. Two out-of-wedlock children. Sometimes the Good Old Days weren’t.

    The use of preggers is shorthand. A term for “unwed, pregnant females of high school or middle school age with few or no options”. Disrespect was not intended. For those who asked instead of assuming, I apologize if I offended.

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