In defense of the sanctimonious women's studies set || First feminist blog on the internet

Hair

Much feminist writing has been done on the subject of hair, but I feel like talking about myself today, so we won’t be discussing that.

As a little girl I had fairly long hair. My mother convinced me to cut my hair when I was five and I agreed, not completely understanding that it wouldn’t immediately grow back. I ended up with a pageboy, a recurring cut through my adult life. The pageboy was dyed a billion colors as I got older, almost always settling for a lighter blonde than my natural blonde.

For a period of about a year, I bleached my hair twice monthly. This ended after an unfortunate incident in which I put some red on top of the yellow fry and it began to fall out. Clumps of hair fell out of my head. I told my mother who tried to salvage the mess but to no avail. We went to the salon and they cut it off one inch from the scalp, leaving me with an orange and white spotted helmet of hair. I was fifteen. My peers immediately assumed that my new haircut was a “coming out” statement and I was judged accordingly. In fact, I still answer questions about my sexuality every now and then when I run into old classmates.

And here is where I update the masses on the weirdness surrounding my current hairstyle.

The haircut I have now has brought the most confounding experiences, especially with older men. I once had plain, long blonde hair (natural, thank you) and about six months ago cut very short bangs. The reactions that I get to the bangs, which are now even shorter than in the picture, are absolutely astounding. Apparently short bangs communicate some sort of “sluttiness” or “easiness” that I never before encountered.

Before, with the plain blonde hair, I was almost always at first considered to fit the stereotypical “blonde” personality until I opened my mouth. I was often told I was high-maintenance and not well-liked by those who are keen on judging hypothetical books by their hypothetical covers. Now I’m seen as some sort of S/M sex symbol. Here is one such example of harassment. And here is another. Both are completely true. I couldn’t make this stuff up.

More recently, I had a younger man approach me and tell me “how great it is” to see “hot goth chicks” in town. You know, because I’m so freaking goth.

And just last night, a comedian at the comedy night I attend asked two of my friends about me and my haircut. He inquired to one of my friends before the show as to who I was, complimenting the bangs. In the middle of his set, I got a phone call and left the room out of courtesy. I took the phone call in the adjoining room, and in the meantime, he sat down at our front row table, held the microphone away from his mouth, and asked my tablemates where I had gone, complimenting the hair again. He kept saying that I looked like someone out of the 1940s, continuously complimenting the hair, but never approached me before or after the show. I’m absolutely floored that he stopped the show to remark on my hair.

I don’t know if I should be grateful he didn’t approach me or just grow out the bangs already.

Having done as much reading as I have on beauty culture and feminism, I always considered hair to be an offshoot of the more primary cultural norms like body shape and weight. I previously thought that there was inherently more weight placed on the cultural significance of hair in the African-American circles than in others (and still think this discourse is necessary), but am beginning to think I ignored the significance of hair in the overall culture of beauty, especially how it can remind of beauty cultures of different eras. Can hair be read as a text?

Frankly I still don’t know what to think. Maybe I’ll knit myself a hat.


36 thoughts on Hair

  1. Firstly, I’ve been reading for a long time now and I had no idea you were blonde. That’s got nothing to do with anything but I’m so floored that I had to mention it.

    As far back as I can remember I’ve had older men hitting on me. I’m still not sure wht the draw is. But the memory of 40 year old men hitting on me when I was in my mid-teens still creeps me out.

  2. After leaving the Army my hair was shaved. Recently I decided to grow my hair, due to being lazy, and my family loves it. But I notice people are reacting to me in a completely different manner. I do feel hair plays a very large part in our culture, bald men are seen as smarter, women can change their personality, it would seem by the behavior of others, by cutting their hair a different way.

    By the way, when I started reading Feministe I thought you were a woman in her forties because of the way you write, which is in a very thoughtful mature manner. Imagine my surprise when I found out that you were a very young woman with great physical beauty as well as the beauty of prose. It actually sort of embarrassed me. LOL

    Keep up the great job please and your hair looks great, it is people that are well, just stoopid sometimes.

    ;->

  3. Okay, I have even “sluttier” bangs than you do–all punk rock, hanging in my eyes. I try to trim them and they get more and more jagged and so I pretend it just looks really rock and roll and try not to worry about it. No one has ever said anything to me about it, nothing sexual or anything. Granted, I’ve only had the haircut a month, but still. I think, though, that having a funky-cool haircut is so common in Austin that it doesn’t attract attention. Last night we had dinner at Casino el Camino and I think half the women in there had bangs.

  4. Dammit, I just typed up a whole thing about how no one has ever said a word to me about my bangs, and I think I hit the button wrong. Anyway, I’m guessing that funky-cool haircuts can’t be very common in your town to attract so much notice. The place we ate dinner at last night–every other woman had bangs.

    If you wear a hat, it squishes your bangs into your eyes and the guys will go even crazier, I assure you.

  5. i also had long blonde hair all my life till i was 21 basically – and then, at a friends’ suggestion to appreciate and play around with my hair, i cut it super short — and was amazed and a little freaked out about how differently people reacted to me. i went from adjectives like cutesy, fun, girly to serious, upset, and even *depressed* — and this was within a matter of days, and my mood had nothing to do with it at all. so, yeah, i’d say hair is indeed read as text, however mistakenly.

    also, to share a scary hair story, i remember once i was walking on the boardwalk, years and years ago when my hair was super long, and all of a sudden this guy walking the other way put his hand out and grabbed a strand of my hair and held on to it for a few seconds and then just let go and kept walking – never saying a word. i was so in shock – and feeling very 16 – and didn’t say a thing, just felt dirty. uggghhh.

  6. Amanda, lots of girls have bangs here, but they’re the sweeping across the forehead type, not the “affected” bangs I have been told to have.

  7. I have a good friend with the same haircut. Hers is dyed black though and thus looks a lot more like Betty Page. It’s sexy. It’s just an inherently sexy haircut. On the right people it just is. I don’t think it’s a matter of being attributed to the S&M community, although I do think I remember reading something about Betty Page being kind of freak-freaky. It also may just be a fact that some guys are really into it. Like, too into it.

    I don’t want to be a poop-in-the-pants, but how’s that mix cd coming?
    Love

  8. Thankfully when I was fine and have almost white-blond hair and decided that I needed to have bangs like my cousin and cut them super-short I didn’t get the reactions that you have. But maybe that “little-girl” haircut on a woman is part of the reaction?

  9. I think a fringe, which I believe is what bangs are?, is “innocent” looking. Say virginal, even. Because in our culture virginity in a woman is attractive, your hairstyle is in great contradiction with your status as a mother.

    Bald men and intelligence? Blue.. hmm, if you say so.. but when I start going bald, I am not so sure that is going to be any consolation.
    In any event, a change in hairstyle probably has the single biggest effect on our appearance and attractiveness.

  10. Jerry, it will come! I promise! Right after I get the new monitor I will get the CD burner fixed. I miss making CDs so badly.

  11. Huh…you know, it never occurred to me that this is an issue. Now, I’m a “hair guy”, meaning that hair is the first thing I tend to notice on women whom I find attractive. But I never fixated on a particular kind of style; though I tend to find longer hair more attractive (yes, I know…no need to say it!), my view is more “holistic”, i.e., I assess how the hair compliments the woman as a whole rather than zeroing in on a single aspect.

    And, unless you’re invited to do so, it’s never cool to touch the hair of a woman you don’t know. Never.

  12. Jerry, Betty Page posed for a lot of S&M photographs, if that’s what you mean.

    Yeah, I’m guessing that’s it, then Lauren. The rockabilly bangs are super-duper common here. Pretty much anything evocative of rockabilly has a veneer of fun sleaze on it. Sounds like these guys who approach you think that the hair means that you *are* easy. Some people take wishful thinking to heights we mere mortals find quite dangerous.

  13. The rockabilly phenomenon is virtually unheard of here. A rare warm body has occasionally heard of the Rev for example. It’s geographical, I think.

  14. I agree that it’s the echo of Betty Page. Only blonde. Win-win.

    I learnt about hair (and glasses) when I was seven. My boyfriend (also seven) called me up and I told him that I had got glasses and a haircut that day. He said “Eeeewww!” and hung up. Thus ended my first relationship.

    And now, lo and behold, I find that glasses are, to some, a fetish object. Just be glad you haven’t added that to the mix; who knows what reaction you’d get.

  15. Ms. Lauren asks: Can hair be read as a text?

    in a word, yes. for some reason, the first example that popped into my head was memories of watching Charlies Angels when i was a young pup…

    as i was saying, the hairstyles in that show were definitely meant to be “read,” to convey information about the various Angels personalites.

    anyhoo, i’m sure others can come up with far more sophisticated examples…

    btw, on the whole “bangs as sexy” thing – personally, they’ve never done much for me one way or another. my sweetie once had them & they looked cute as pie on her. then again, she looked cute as pie with her head shaved as well.

    in any case, as far as sexy bangs go, i know Betty Page is supposed to be the standard and all, but ain’t no one as sexy (with bangs) as my gal Xena Warrior Princess!

    why are you all laughing again?

  16. Ms. Lauren asks: Can hair be read as a text?

    in a word, yes. for some reason, the first example that popped into my head was memories of watching Charlies Angels when i was a young pup…

    .. pause to wait until everyone stops laughing ….

    as i was saying, the hairstyles in that show were definitely meant to be “read,” to convey information about the various Angels personalites.

    anyhoo, i’m sure others can come up with far more sophisticated examples…

    btw, on the whole “bangs as sexy” thing – personally, they’ve never done much for me one way or another. my sweetie once had them & they looked cute as pie on her. then again, she looked cute as pie with her head shaved as well.

    in any case, as far as sexy bangs go, i know Betty Page is supposed to be the standard and all, but ain’t no one as sexy (with bangs) as my gal Xena Warrior Princess!

    why are you all laughing again?

  17. Damn that long blonde hair. I just tried really hard to cut ‘sweeping’ bangs…rather successfully I must say. Am now considering going for your goth look however, for the attention alone. Damn that Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction too – I am sure somehow she is to blame for this.

  18. Hair-As-Text: “Kitchen,” by Henry Louis Gates, “Sister” by Anne Lamott, and “Dreads” by Alice Walker. Great stuff.

  19. Bettie Page = S&M; Uma Thurma circa Pulp Fiction = what? So now your hair reads as “coke whore”? Weird.
    Dude, Lauren, you are *so* freaking goth. Do you shop at Hot Topic or something? WTF?
    *shakes head*
    Hoosiers, lady; I tell you what.
    I cut my hair very short in high school, the summer I read all of the feminism books in my local library and started volunteering at my local women’s shelter. I guess I identified it as a political act at the time; but it didn’t elicit much unexpected response, since my hair previously was likely to be green or black, and my overall appearance placed me in a category (punk, freak, goth, theatre-nerd) that made super short hair of a piece, I suppose. I feel that I was as likely to have people, male or female, yell “dyke” or “slut” at me in the parking lot with long or short hair in those days. (Although my favorite epithets have always been “Lebanese kyke” – I am neither Lebanese nor Jewish, but I don’t think that’s what he was getting at- and “Fuck you fag, you and your lesbian girlfriend”- yelled at my high school boyfriend. Again, Hoosiers- what can you say?)
    Sadly I must place myself among those ladies with bangs who can’t say that they’ve shared your experience with them. But I do think you’re on to something here. Moreover, I submit that 1) the Bloomington kids know rockabilly, I swear; and 2) your haircut is hot.

  20. Well I dye mine purple and it cuts out a lot of shit. It’s weird because I’m not anymore creative and outgoing then I was before but people seem to think that.

  21. Again, I have to say it… I don’t get it!! lol. I think your haircut is super cute, and yes it does recall some former era to my mind, but the peverse sexual reaction… that I can’t wrap my head around. I suppose I can agree about the child-like look of it. In fact, I was looking the pics over again just now and thought “I had that exact same hair style/color when I was three or four.” I have bangs, but they are the layery swept kind. I can’t recall ever having a hair centered experience like those that you keep coming up with… but then again I have never been the girl who gets approached by random men in public.

    I agree with the commenter who brought up glasses… just think if you had some chunky plastic specs, perhaps in a clearish red. I have some I could send your way if you want to try the experiment. Hehe.

  22. Comparing the picture with bangs to the one on Miss Education without bangs… (and right now, I’m seriously hoping that you run both sites and not some evil twin of yourself or something like that, since I just starting reading your blog a few days ago)

    The bangs do look younger. I’d estimate 5 years or so. However, I don’t think they make you look young enough to be underage, and I’d have to agree with the Betty Page comments already made. Still think it’s sick that anyone would assume that you’re a modern day Betty Page just because you have similar hair….

    On the other hand, I have naturally curly hair, and gave up bangs out of necessity in high school when the curl appeared. I’ve never heard any assumptions being made about those of us with lots o’curls, but I’m sure they’re out there.

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  24. fascinating post – there really is a lot of sociology surrounding hair style. my girlfriend asked me the other day if her hair was getting too long for a professional woman. I like it, but do realize this is from a selfish masculine point of view that finds it sexy. she might get more respect if it were cropped – we are still brutish animals responding to prmitive cues in many ways.

  25. Well, I’m a redhead. To some people, that’s a huge “kinky sexy easy yes she wants YOU!” flag, and I’ve never been able to understand why.
    I don’t get the thing about the bangs either, but since you keep running into it there must be something there. In general, people who think always think they are picking up “signals” (bangs, hair color, which pocket a handkerchief is in…) seem a little, um, simplistic. And not in a charming way.

  26. men are weird about hair like that. personally, i find that when i wear it long (straight or curly, doesn’t seem to matter), the jerks come out of the woodwork to ogle. when it’s short, i tend to get more polite, intellectual types. (gentleman prefer… short-haired women?)

    totally loving the bangs on you, by the way.

  27. feh. double posting always makes me feel like a dork.

    then again, i usually feel like a dork.

    anyway, i’ve got a question: these guys walking up to y’all – & here i mean not just Ms. Lauren, but any women posting here who’ve been hit on by strangers due to their hairstyle – do they really seem to think that this is acceptable behavior? moreover, do any of you get the feeling that they sincerely believe they have a chance, even a slim one?

    i guess what i’m asking is whether your impression of these guys is that they’re pathetic & clueless, or are they sleazy mackdaddies or what? i’m assuming the latter.

    sigh… why do so many men have to be so very fucked up?

  28. I think your bangs are cute. Keep ’em if you like ’em. Oh, and I think those short short bangs used to be called “Mimi Eisenhower” [don’t worry. long, long before my time.]

  29. You are beautiful of course, and you sure don’t look like a slut, all though I don’t know how a slut’s hair is supposed to look like. The bangs are cute.

  30. Damn. I’ve never been hit on due to my hairstyle, as far as I know; I’m notoriously oblivious when it comes to recognizing when people are hitting on me. (My ex flirted with my for two weeks before he asked me out; everyone noticed this besides me. And he wasn’t being subtle, either.) I’ve gotten lots of compliments, though, from strangers, male and female. My hair is very dark, very thick, and past my waist, and I wear it down most of the time.

    For a long time – until I was part way through university – friends of parents, parents of friends, teachers, strangers – would RUN THEIR HANDS THROUGH MY HAIR without my permission. Much of the time, it wasn’t even sexual, I don’t think – just a matter of me having something they didn’t. I think the only reason they stopped is because as I got older, I started to present myself as more confident and more likely to punch them for that sort of behaviour.

    I haven’t gotten a “real” haircut in over a decade, because I like my hair long (and wish it were longer). But I also know that if I did cut it, a hundred people would tell me how devastated they were, which is kind of creepy. It’s not public property, dammit; they can grow (or buy) their own.

  31. From a semiotic standpoint, wouldn’t all hairstyles convey some kind of specific meaning? I know there’s an awful lot of focus on this in magazines and websites promoting “male culture”, particularly with regard to male styles. I can’t imagine there isn’t a similar discussion in “female culture”.

    Krista gives some likely-looking sources (though Amazon couldn’t find the first two, and I was hoping she could give me further hints as to where to find them). My local university library carries about a gross of more scholarly treatises that probably treat the subject in more depth. But as regards your specific question of what sort of meaning your hairstyle projects, I wouldn’t know.

    Just putting on my Male Pig persona to act as an informant, though, I’d suggest — based on your photo — that it’s probably not JUST your hairstyle and color that leads (some) guys to think you’re a ‘goth’ or a ‘slut’. I suspect it’s also a combination of clothing and facial expression.

    But I did not grow up in the States, so that’s just a guess. “Your American ways are very strange to me”, he said defensively, and pre-emptively.

  32. I had bangs like yours once, with a chin length bob, but I’m pretty zaftig and so didn’t ever get hit on. I love that hair cut. I just wasn’t good enough at trimming my own bangs to keep it up for too long.

    But your picture on this blog brings to my mind that girl from Risky Business. So maybe you’re reminding people of her, and her character fulfilled all these sexual fantasies of this nice boy from the suburbs. That might explain it. Which is still no excuse for their appalling behavior, of course.

    Anna

  33. You’re a sexy bitch! Honey, we live in the middle of college, redneck, undereducated, undersexed, and overstimulated by mass media Indiana. People are ignorant and sheltered, and not just in corn country. I still can not understand why you let this bother you. I know you know better than that. Fuck ’em all. What happen to to us being hardcore unaffected vixens? Has the banal existence of single motherhood turned us in to the sort of women that, dare I say, will not instantly emotionally castrate some loser within inches of their life? You can’t seriously care about this anymore. You know everyone should just learn to swim anyways.

  34. You’re a sexy bitch! Honey, we live in the middle of college, redneck, undereducated, undersexed, and overstimulated by mass media Indiana. People are ignorant and sheltered, and not just in corn country. I still can not understand why you let this bother you. I know you know better than that. Fuck ’em all. What happen to to us being hardcore unaffected vixens? Has the banal existence of single motherhood turned us in to the sort of women that, dare I say, will not instantly emotionally castrate some loser within inches of their life? You can’t seriously care about this anymore. You know everyone should just learn to swim anyways.

  35. From a semiotic standpoint, wouldn’t all hairstyles convey some kind of specific meaning?

    The problem isn’t that hair conveys meaning. It’s that a lot of guys choose to attribute a particular, self-serving meaning, and then overshare about it.

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