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Someone needs to go back and read his Dr. Seuss

Another soldier in the War on Christmas misses the point.

Anybody still believing that Father Christmas is a pseudonym for Santa has not yet experienced a close holiday encounter with Mr. Butler and his nonsecular montage here on East Main Street. In Patchogue and, yes, throughout the Town of Brookhaven, whose Town Council authorized a $500 donation to Mr. Butler’s Christmas ’n’ Patchogue committee, he has made a name (and a few enemies) as a senior citizen/activist bent on recreating a very specific sort of Christmas.

Mr. Butler has made his presence felt by persuading the local Chamber of Commerce to rechristen its year-end boat parade the Christmas Boat Parade; planting the word “Christmas” in the name of the garden club’s holiday house tour; spurning the village’s ecumenical tree-and-menorah display at the North Fork Bank Plaza and transforming a vacant lot into a Christmas tribute this year.

“There had to be a Nativity scene,” he said, so he located a hand-carved, life-size, 13-piece Nativity scene for $5,000 and paid for it from his own pocket. There is no Santa: that would send too commercial a message. “The tree may be pushing the envelope, but since it was already there, decorating it felt right,” he said. Decorating the 40-foot tree took two tries, and required assistance from the fire department’s cherry picker.

As for Father Christmas’s helpers, those would be the Knights of Columbus: they pitched in $3,000 for the 800 lights illuminating the fir on Walter Roe’s property that was the village’s official tree until the plaza site took precedence. (Mr. Roe, an insurance broker, supports all holiday displays.) A sound system was installed for weekend caroling. Five hundred people showed up for the opening ceremony on Nov. 24, complete with fireworks — an inauthentic touch, but being a Grucci in-law has its temptations.

Mr. Butler has a word for those townspeople — his roster includes the president of the Chamber of Commerce — who failed to support his take on what constitutes a genuinely merry Christmas: Grinches one and all.

Isn’t it funny how those who fight the phony War on Christmas and are so quick to label those who aren’t slavishly following them “Grinches” seem to miss the bit about how the Whos managed to have Christmas despite the theft of their presents and decorations, because for them, it wasn’t about the trappings.

Just a thought, people: if you need to have the 15-foot-high Nativity scene on municipal property to feel your faith is validated because THEN EVERYONE CAN SEE HOW GODLY YOU ARE, and if you feel that an inclusive “Happy Holidays!” is an affront, then maybe you need to page through the ending of How The Grinch Stole Christmas now and again.


16 thoughts on Someone needs to go back and read his Dr. Seuss

  1. Hey, I’m sure that no local food bank could have used $3,000 to distribute food to local families, or that the Salvation Army or Toys for Tots didn’t need it to buy toys for kids whose parents can’t afford them. Because, as we all know, poor people no longer exist, so we can ignore everything Jesus said about taking care of them, especially at Christmastime when we’re supposed to be thinking about His message and His life.

  2. Notwithstanding all the usual “OMG WE CAN’T SAY CHRISTMAS” bollocks, what does any of that have to do with the opening line about “Father Christmas” versus “Santa” anyway?

  3. Ah, I remember the Knights of Columbus. Like Shiners, on for Catholics, and not always for good causes. Like the time they decided in 1984 to pass out anti-abortion pamphlets at my highschool in Colorado. Not only did they end up severely traumatizing a girl who’d had one (due to their graphic and completely inaccurate photos of mangled late-term fetuses), they got in deep legal shit for doing it on school property. They left us alone after the district threatened them with a lawsuit.

  4. Anyone notice how part of this guy’s agenda is to make sure the “ecumenical” menorah gets ditched?

    Because you’re a Grinch if you’re not anti-Semitic.

  5. What’s extra funny to me is that he looks down on Santa for being “too commercial” for Christmas, but then denounces others as “Grinches” which are, if anything, EVEN MORE FICTIONAL than Santa.

  6. I’m sure they’ll donate cherry picker time to put up a 40 foot menorah and 40 foot atheist billboard as well. Of course they will. Probably a good thing there wasn’t a fire or something that a cherry picker would have been useful at.

  7. Oh, also, random side note: Father Christmas and Santa Claus were originally two completely different people (and still are in some parts of the world).

  8. These batshit loony wingnuts give new meaning to the term “tin ear”. They just don’t get anything but the most mind-numbingly literal tropes. It must be painful to go through life continuously clenched like that.

  9. I love this quote from a guy trying to stay neutral: “I’m called a coward if I don’t refer to the tree on the plaza as a Christmas tree, and when we had the menorah lighting, somebody asked if I call it a holiday candelabra.”

    Once I learned my Sikh and Hindu co-workers were celebrating Christmas as a completely secular holiday where Santa left presents for kids under a decorated evergreen, I realized Christmas was not just for Christians any more. Celebrate diversity: celebrate Diwali and Eid al-Fitr. Eat some eel on Chinese New Year. Go to your local o-bon and Autumn Moon festivals. Quit complaining every fall when the stores are all decorated for Rosh Hoshanah, and the only thing that you have to celebrate is Indigenous People’s Day.

    And attention atheists: please establish a holiday, preferably involving barbecue and live music.

  10. Celebrate diversity: celebrate Diwali and Eid al-Fitr. Eat some eel on Chinese New Year. Go to your local o-bon and Autumn Moon festivals. Quit complaining every fall when the stores are all decorated for Rosh Hoshanah, and the only thing that you have to celebrate is Indigenous People’s Day.

    Hector B.

    Keeping track of all those holidays may be expecting a bit too much from the severely curtailed mental capabilities of those “Christmas Warriors”.

    As for Father Christmas, Santa Claus, and the Grinch, always saw them as partners in the wildly successful corporate enterprise known as Christmas Inc.

    With increasing concerns about heating and energy costs this winter in the Northeastern US, I wouldn’t mind receiving a few Santa’s bags worth of coal….preferably anthracite. 😉

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