In defense of the sanctimonious women's studies set || First feminist blog on the internet

Here’s an idea:

Jill

When you write a book review, make it about the book, not about your petty issues with feminism and “lippy” women.

Carolyn See pens the review for a biography of Bella Abzug — but I have no idea what the book said, or if it was well-written, or anything about it at all. Because See spends the entire review writing things like this:

From the very beginning of her adult life, she had trouble working for anybody and soon set up her own office. She experienced insults about her appearance (she was chunky, and put on more weight as she got older), about her abrasive voice and her abusive personality, but it seemed to roll right off her most of the time. “I’m Bella’s oldest friend,” Mim Kelber, her speechwriter, remembers. “She liked herself too much, but I think you need that. She was very self-confident.” Except that later on, when she was a successful member of the House of Representatives, she broke down in tears at a political “roast,” when a man dressed up like her with a fat, padded fanny, and another man, impersonating her long-suffering husband, came out in a frilly apron.

…so you got that she was fat, right? Because she was fat. And a total bitch. Who cried about being fat.

She wanted to change the world and thought she could. She ran for the House from a section of Manhattan. She served, flamboyantly, for three terms, focused mainly on women’s issues and world peace. (Although how you fight for peace while punching and yelling remains an interesting question.)

No, you fight for peace by shutting the hell up and not offending Carolyn See’s delicate sensibilities.

But I’m going to add that very few people now actually remember what it was like during the period of the feminist movement. Everything was up for grabs. No one knew what to do or how to do it. Betty Friedan ruined a Super Bowl party in my very own home by wearing a black leather miniskirt and swinging her (not bad) legs clad in fishnet stockings back and forth in front of the TV screen so that nobody could see the plays. She radicalized a sizable bunch of neutral men into committed anti-feminists that day. Nobody knew what to do with these uppity, unpredictable women.

Uppity bitches are teh suck. At least sometimes they have nice legs, though.

She also makes the point of saying that she is against abortion “in principle.”

And what were they for, or against? Against the Vietnam War, of course. For legalized abortion. For equal pay for equal work. (As if!) For parity, true equality, with men. They even tried to peddle the Equal Rights Amendment, which would have given women equal rights — what a concept! — with men. Lots of men had conniption fits about this. If you were a second-rate fellow, who would there be for you to look down on? But lots of women hated the idea just as much. Who could they find to take care of them, if not men? The amendment never passed. And the movement began to wind down. The congresswomen of the day — Barbara Jordan, Shirley Chisholm, Abzug — died. Steinem got married. She’s a widow now. Friedan is gone, too. All those meetings, the huge international conferences, the tiny, exciting, consciousness-raising groups — it all simmered down. It’s still a safe bet that at 80 percent of all the dinner parties in every state across the nation, women know enough to be good listeners.

Bella Abzug screamed and yelled and hit people. She was appalled when both her daughters grew up to be lesbians. She wore those goofy hats and played poker. She could be snide, but often that got passed off as cute. Her terrible, lippy mouth caught up with her, kept her out of the Senate, even out of the office of mayor. She was mean, no doubt about it. But as with Malcolm X, her extremism could have helped clear the way for at least theoretical equality between the sexes. Is all this good, or not? It’s really too soon to know for sure.

Clearly See has staked out her position: Sexual equality between the sexes is, in her world, definitely not good. Except when it allows her to get a job at one of the nation’s leading newspapers. Read the whole piece if you want to feel your blood start to boil.

17 thoughts on Here’s an idea:

  1. Wow, that is one god awful book review and after reading it I don’t think much of Carolyn See as a person.

  4. I’ve always considered Carolyn See a dip; her book Making a Literary Life advises writers to send thank-you notes to magazines who reject them (because what editors and interns really want is more mail to wade through). But damn, this is some of the worst writing I’ve seen in a long time.

    Now, are we sure that lines like this:

    They even tried to peddle the Equal Rights Amendment, which would have given women equal rights — what a concept! — with men. Lots of men had conniption fits about this. If you were a second-rate fellow, who would there be for you to look down on?

    aren’t intentionally hyperbolic, and thus ironic? What does she mean when she says that second wave feminism is receding “all too quickly” into the past? (But if she’s being ironic in order to hint that she believes in feminism, then why would she feel the need to randomly mention that she’s against abortion?)

    Ambiguous writing can be either thought-provoking or sloppy, and this falls into the second category.

  5. “She was very self-confident.” Except that later on, when she was a successful member of the House of Representatives, she broke down in tears at a political “roast,” when a man dressed up like her with a fat, padded fanny, and another man, impersonating her long-suffering husband, came out in a frilly apron.

    Gosh, I can’t imagine why after making a successful career for yourself as a politician, you would be upset at discovering that all of those “colleagues” who work with you really only pay attention to your physical appearance and don’t actually respect you as a professional.

  6. Now, are we sure that lines like this:…aren’t intentionally hyperbolic, and thus ironic

    I’m pretty sure that line in particular that you quoted is intended to to be hyperbolic and ironic, but there’s an awful lot of stuff in there that seems to me to be genuine anti-feminism, among other problems. It’s a pretty queasy mish-mash.

    It seems to me like she’s pretty much trying to have it both ways; put in stuff like that to try to get feminism-friendly readers to chuckle, while assuring everyone else that she’s not actually that feminist. In addition to less stupidity, this article could have used a better editor to make some damn sense of it.

  7. “[V]ery few people now actually remember what it was like during the period of the feminist movement.”

    Yeah, because feminism is, like, so totally LY.

  9. Steinem got married. She’s a widow now.

    What does that have to do with anything?

    It’s still a safe bet that at 80 percent of all the dinner parties in every state across the nation, women know enough to be good listeners.

    I am a good listener. I also am a good speaker who enjoys sharing my informed opinions with others. The two aren’t mutually exclusive, nor a function of “failed feminism.”

    This Carolyn lady has some self-hate issues that she needs to resolve before she writes in public again. She’s embarrassing all of us people who can read and write.

  10. It’s almost embarrassing, the way events keep proving me right. Because here’s yet another woman, not old if no longer young, who’s painfully conscious of having done her part: of having been accomplished, feminine, intelligent, witty-yet-nonthreatening, physically presentable if not pretty; in fact, to all intents and purposes practically perfect, which it’s now understood a woman must be in order to pass muster as a member of society.

    So: Carolyn See has performed her part of the bargain. Has the society in which she seeks to position herself done the same? Remember: so far as she’s concerned she was offered a deal in which her own lack of visible flaws was to be rewarded by society: if only she would give society as a whole no reason to complain of her behavior or appearance, society would reciprocate by not placing any overly impassable barriers in her path.

    Once again, has that happened? Well, let’s let Carolyn See herself testify: she knows she won’t get paid what a man would get paid for the same type of work. (“…equal pay for equal work. {As if!}”) She knows that her rôle as a guest at a dinner party is to keep her mouth shut and beam. (“It’s still a safe bet that at 80 percent of all the dinner parties in every state across the nation, women know enough to be good listeners.”) Probably she knows that her rôle as a guest at a dinner party is to keep her mouth shut and beam for the exact same reasons Virginia Woolf enumerated eighty years ago (“If you were a second-rate fellow, who would there be for you to look down on?”) So—no, the condign promise made by the social body—via its advertisments, pools of received wisdom, and advice columns—to Carolyn See has not been kept. In blunt English, she has been had.

    Whose fault could that be? Who’s there to take the blame? She can’t blame “society”. “Society” is a huge, spotty, impervious body, to which she must be aware that she herself belongs. Talking trash about “the system” is just so 60’s; bleh. Blaming men has gone out of fashion; besides that, it’s neither fair nor constructive. Well…if the fraud practiced upon Carolyn See and others like her can’t be blamed on society, can’t be blamed on the system, can’t be blamed on men, and, most importantly, can’t be blamed on Carolyn…because God knows she’s held up her end; has done everything in her power to remain inviting without getting sloppy about it, to remain piquant without becoming acidulous…who’s there to take the fall?

    Here’s where the escape clause comes in: there’s always other women. Especially the fat ones. Even more especially, the fat, obnoxious ones who love to hear themselves talk. The moment one posits that some chubby loudmouth who just can’t shut up is the one who betrayed the understanding and broke the deal, everything starts to make sense. Betty Friedan flashes her legs at a bunch of guys who would much rather watch football than fishnets and turns them into antifeminists from that moment forward. (Yeh, sure, that’s the ticket.) Bella Abzug speaks loudly in downright readily comprehensible language and men from coast to coast stuff cotton in their ears—which they wouldn’t have done, of course, if only they’d been properly addressed. You see? It’s all the fault of women who just don’t act like ladies, who don’t care to adopt the appearance of perfection. If only they’d batted their eyelashes and been nice, they might have been awarded a pony.

    Except that Carolyn See has batted her eyelashes, has spoken in a lowered, ironical tone of voice, and has been rewarded with no pony. But the kind of explanations I’m talking about here are the kind that can be reliably depended upon not to change anything. And in terms of explanations of that kind, a memory like the one Bella Abzug left has to be exorcised rather than analyzed. Carolyn See at least appears adequate to that task.

  11. Hey, I was alive and sentient during that first wave of feminism, and although I didn’t have the famous friends that Carolyn See now disparages in her book “review,” I can tell you that the women she slags were a shining beacon in that backward world, and the reason women can now work and live a much less restricted life.

    Agreed. But I think you’re referring to the 2nd wave of feminism, right? If you remember the 1st wave, please write a book immediately!

    I’m amazed at how the second wave is dismissed and ignored. They ushered in changes that fundamentally changed our society, and reverberated around the world, yet there are no movies or mini series about these amazing women. Instead, I see these stupid, snarky, disrespectful book reviews in the NYT and elsewhere. I’d love to see a movie about Bella! I’d absolutely love it!

  14. Except that Carolyn See has batted her eyelashes, has spoken in a lowered, ironical tone of voice, and has been rewarded with no pony.

    But don’t you see? Carolyn didn’t get her pony because of those other women who didn’t behave themselves. It’s like when your teacher punishes the whole class because the one student who misbehaves won’t admit it. Of course, most of us recognize that collective punishment is unfair, but not Carolyn.

    And “pony” made me think of my new favorite commercial.

  15. But don’t you see? Carolyn didn’t get her pony because of those other women who didn’t behave themselves. It’s like when your teacher punishes the whole class because the one student who misbehaves won’t admit it. Of course, most of us recognize that collective punishment is unfair…

    Oh, gee, now I get it. BTW, I always hated it when teachers did that, didn’t you? I mean, it’s not like they reward the whole class when one student does something good.

    …but not Carolyn.

    Betcha she was a teacher’s pet, in whose mouth butter would not melt. But that’s enough catty stuff for one day.

    (Incidentally, if we women ever do start to behave ourselves, there’ll have to be a whole lotta ponies handed out…)

  16. There aren’t enough ponies to go around now Beka.

    By the way girl, you did that first comment smashingly, excellent, brava, can’t add nothing to its perfection.

  17. It’s still a safe bet that at 80 percent of all the dinner parties in every state across the nation, women know enough to be good listeners.

    This is a sloppy sentence – do we know enough in the sense that we understand what the conversations are about, or is it that we know enough to see it’s in our “best interests” to shut up, smile, and nod? I have a funny feeling that it’s the latter, to which I say, ugh! Dinner parties and women shutting up is a particular issue with me because it’s a bet that at any dinner party involving my family, there will be some utterly hateful comments, I will politely point out that those are hateful comments, and my mother will ream me afterward for making trouble, being rude, and speaking up about things I care about (quote: “I know how you feel about those things [gay people]–but you don’t have to shove it in everyone’s face! You should just be quiet!”).

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