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Windy City

Jill

This is going to be me in 50 years: Getting kicked out of sports clubs for farting too much.

A social club in Devon has banned a 77-year-old man from breaking wind while indoors.

Maurice Fox received a letter from Kirkham Street Sports and Social Club in Paignton asking him to consider his actions, which “disgusted” members.

Mr Fox, a club regular for 20 years, said: “I am happy to oblige them, there is no problem. I do get a bit windy – I am an old fart now.”

He said he had to leave the club about three times a night.

In its letter to the retired bus driver, the club said: “After several complaints regarding your continual breaking of wind (farting) while in the club, would you please consider that your actions are considered disgusting to fellow members and visitors.

“You sit close to the front door, so would you please go outside when required. So please take heed of this request.”

Mr Fox, who lives in nearby Princess Street, said the letter was a surprise because he had been given no verbal warning.

“I think someone has complained about the noise. I am a loud farter, but there is no smell.

“I do not think it [the letter] is unreasonable, you get ladies in there.”

Mr Fox also spends two days a week at the nearby Palace Place club, but said he had no complaints about flatulence there.

The club said there was no one available for comment.

Well, I’m glad the gent knows that loud public farting is a problem primarily because there are ladies around. After all, we don’t fart. We fluff.

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13 thoughts on Windy City

  3. We fluff.

    So that’s the source of the marshmellow spread I keep hearing about!

    Interesting… 🙂

  4. This could never be you in 50 years, Jill. I just don’t see it–or hear it, anyway.

    You should talk to my room mate about that. Believe me, she hears it.

  7. Interestingly, I just had a discussion about this with my boyfriend.

    He commented, “It’s interesting to me that I never really hear you fart. When I fart, it’s as if someone shoved a trumpet up my ass. When * you * fart, I hear a soft whispering like a gentle breeze, and then you say ‘excuse me.'”

  8. After all, we don’t fart. We fluff.

    Wait, you mean people besides me and my friends in middle school used to refer to farting as fluffing? (incidentally, the friend of mine who started this has the noisiest farts I have ever heard in my life).

  9. I grew up in a house where such bodily functions were discussed often and over dinner. My older brother would come into the living room, sit down next to me, fart, then leave. The animal dying smell would hit me about the same time he got out of the door. My cousins would all fart on each other all the time. I never had much time for the idea that women didn’t have such functions.

    Cause let me tell you, my mother has the worst gas in the world.

  11. If you’re eating a lot of cabbage over there in Deutschland, try eating caraway seeds to prevent the percussive effects.

    Now I’m wondering: What with beans and cole vegetables, are vegans more flatulent than omnivores? (Not counting the lactose-intolerant who sneak ice cream.)

  12. I grew up in a house where such bodily functions were discussed often and over dinner. My older brother would come into the living room, sit down next to me, fart, then leave. The animal dying smell would hit me about the same time he got out of the door. My cousins would all fart on each other all the time. I never had much time for the idea that women didn’t have such functions.

    Meggygurl,

    Your family is far more open and tolerant about such things than mom and her side of the family who were westernized ala 1950s upper-middle class WASP culture. In their view, farting…or even merely discussing it is a sign one is uncultured and “barbaric”. My father, on the other hand, views their reaction as a sign they are affecting Western upper-class elitist attitudes.

    Incidentally, I came across a scholarly journal article which discussed the transitioning of urban Chinese elite culture from “traditional” attitudes and manners to the almost wholesale worshiping and adopting of Western cultural norms by the 1920s. Within the article were a few anecdotes about how urbanized Chinese elites had difficulties in adapting to Western cultural norms. One anecdote was about a wealthy Chinese merchant who invited a group of powerful Western merchants and dignitaries with whom he was well-acquainted to a formal dinner he was hosting at his mansion. Though his mansion, furnishings, and dress were all in the latest Western styles available in China during that time, he faltered when he released a loud fart in the middle of the dinner. Though it seemed as if he was oblivious to his guests’ horrified reactions, his awareness was amply demonstrated upon a repeated windy performance when he got up and said “excuse me” before sitting back down to continue hosting the meal as if nothing happened.

  13. Now I’m wondering: What with beans and cole vegetables, are vegans more flatulent than omnivores? (Not counting the lactose-intolerant who sneak ice cream.)

    I don’t know about vegans, but I’ve read that vegetarians fart more than omnivores. And as someone who was a vegetarian for 11 years and started eating meat again two years ago, I think I can vouch for that.

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