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The Best Thing About Europe?

When class is cancelled at the last minute, I can hop on a train to Prague for the end of the week, and then on to Munich for the weekend.

Prague is gorgeous, although it’s freezing cold here. And, since my greatest talent in life is attracting weirdos (the bad kind, not the quirky interesting kind), I’ve already spent one night in a sketchy old woman’s Jesus-festooned flat on a rock-hard bed (she found me at the train station, offered me a room, and it was late and I didn’t have a place to stay so I took it, even though I could tell she was nutty), and I’ve already gotten almost-kinda-sorta-robbed by a young Ukrainian man. The story: I was on the tram, and the ticket-checkers came on. I had asked the young Ukranian man if the tram went to the stop by the National Museum; he didn’t speak English, and he knew I didn’t speak Czech. The ticket-checkers checked him and I at the same time (there were two of them). He said something to them, and they asked me for 500 crowns (about 30USD). I figured that I had done something wrong — purchased the incorrect ticket or something — so I gave it to them. As they wrote out my receipt, I started to figure out that something was sketchy, so I asked them in English what I did. One replied, “He is with you, right?” Uh, no. Basically, homeboy told the checkers that he was my friend and that I’d pay his fine. At this point, I’ve gone two tram stops past where I was supposed to get off (I was headed for a walking tour) and I’m generally irritated. The officer gives me my money back, and I get off and start walking. I get a coffee, I continue on, and all of a sudden the Ukrainian dude is standing next to me — he’d followed me from the tram. He follows me for the next 15 minutes, saying something in Ukrainian over and over and asking if I speak Russian; then he starts accosting random people on the street, asking them if they speak Russian and English. No one does. Eventually I get to the tour meeting place, and someone waves him off — and then my Czech tour guide tells me that this occasionally happens to her, and that he’s been trying to ask me to marry him. So, sadly, I lost my chance at scoring a fine young husband.

Perhaps I’ll have better luck in Munich. At the very least, there will be decent beer.* But Prague is lovely, and thanks to Ele’s suggestion in the comments, I’m going to try and hit up some of the synagogues while I’m here, in addition to the usual touristy stuff.

In other words, I probably won’t be posting or moderating comments for the next few days. Enjoy the fabulous Jay, and I’ll see you on Monday.

*Yeah, yeah, I know, Czech beer is the best in the world, blah blah… but I hate pilsner, so it ain’t for me, even if the name Pilsner Urquell cracks me up every time. (Remember the episode of Family Matters where Steve Urkel because super-smooth Stephan Urquell? Anyone? Well that’s what I think of.)


27 thoughts on The Best Thing About Europe?

  1. I loved Prague when I went there. The Pilsner? Not so much. Try the Budwaer (I can’t remember the character encoding for an a with an umlaut), which is Czech Budweiser. So much better than the stuff in the states and, in my humble opinion, better than the Pilsner. I’m not sure that their budweiser is a pilsner, but I really liked it better than that Urquell stuff.

  2. I love Czech beer. Try the Kozel dark – it has a goat on the label – with a brownie, if you can find one. Heaven. If you want to check out some more authentic Czech bars/restaurants, head over to Zizkov, where most of the university students live. More rundown and Communist-looking, but the beer is super cheap and the bars are way less touristy.

    And please, please go to Vysehrad Castle, just down the Vlatava – it is the mythical home of Prague and is much more interesting than Prague Castle, in my opinion. The cemetery at the top of the hill includes the graves of most Czech artists/authors/musicians. It’s amazing.

  3. Don’t forget the hot red wine. You can get it in the town square.

    I went to Prague in December ’02. Bitter cold then, too. My girflriend at the time and I stayed in the former Soviet housing units north of the city. Depressing in a kitsch way, I guess. Delightful, the centuries of suckerdom that culminated in people thinking having only that as a choice was a sound decision. Then I thought of third parties in America and wondered how I would look to an outsider. Speaking of which:

    Walking to the nearest grocery store, I would always feel like my American-ness was sticking out…I found most people in Prague to be short, weathered, and humble, while I’m naturally…well, not. Or at least don’t blatantly convey these traits. But no one held me to the fire for it.

    My girlfriend was of Czech descent, so she had family there. Her grandmother accosted me for the White House’s Iraq saber-rattling, then was shocked that I agreed with her. Amazing that a country/contintent’s press could manage to make people believe that 300 million people were of one mind, but there we go with misconceptions again.

    I ended up breaking it off with her. I got married to someone else, and she became a Rhodes Scholar. I’d like to go back to Prague again.

  4. If you end up in the Jewish Quarter make sure to check out the cemetary. It’s incredible…graves are practically stacked on top of eachother.

  5. Leo-

    If I recall correctly, the graves are actually stacked on top of each other – Jews were given so little space in Prague that when they ran out of space in their cemetery, they actually had to reuse the ground. It’s been a while since I was told that story, but I believe memory serves. . . In any case, I agree with you that it’s incredible.

    Prague is one of my favorite places in the world – I studied abroad there for a semester and then went back 7 years later with my then-boyfriend (now husband) and got engaged. Lots of happy memories.

  6. Czech beer is the best in the world, blah blah… but I hate pilsner, so it ain’t for me

    You hate pilsner? Feh, I have lost all respect for you now Jill … you Americans and your love for bad beer …

    😉

    Drinking pilsner in Nederland, Belgium and Germany was how I fell in love with beer in my teens …

  7. Tina: you’re speaking of Budweiser Budvar, which is indeed a pretty good golden bottom-fermented beer using fruity hops (pilsner uses drier hops).
    I’d also recommend typ 21 beers, there are many good of these in the Germano-Czech beer tradition. The “21” indicates that they are brewed with 21 kilograms of barley per hectoliter (which is high).

  8. Prague is great – I spent a semester there some years back. The exhibits have surely changed, but two of my favorite museums were the House of the Golden Ring and the … Modern Art Museum (called the Trade Palace, if I remember correctly). Also, I think I ate about a kiloton of smazeny syr. Worth it.

  9. Lelielle, the Mucha museum is small but very satisfying. You have to tour the city hall as well.

    Jill, you’ve convinced me Prague is better seen with a companion. Hookers kept hitting on me (I’m assuming that’s what they were; I’m not THAT attractive or charming) till I met another tourist and we started hanging out. A companion would have helped make the point that you and the ukrainian guy were not a couple.

  10. Jews were given so little space in Prague that when they ran out of space in their cemetery, they actually had to reuse the ground.

    Limiting the amount of scarce land used for cemeteries is actually pretty common in Eastern Europe, regardless of religion. Where my own ancestors come from, the bones are evicted after a certain number of years, figuring no one who remembers them is around to grieve. I remember my grandfather getting a letter asking what he wanted done with his grandfather’s bones. Room is thus freed up for more recent corpses.

    And even here in America, the coffins of my frugal parents are stacked in the same grave.

  11. Speaking as another expat in the Munich area… Go to the Christkindlmarkts! Most of them are going up this weekend – there’s one at Marienplatz, one by the Chinesischer Turm, etc., not to mention smaller neighborhood ones. And yes, they’ll have glühwein there.

    (And really, I’d go for Paulaner or Hacker-Pschorr or Augistinerbräu or pretty much of the other big six Munich breweries over Hofbräu. All of them are far better than standard American beer, of course, but Hofbräu’s probably the least impressive of the bunch. And yeah, Franziskaner is certainly good, unless you prefer something other than weißbier. Me, I’d go for a dunkles any day.)

  12. Re: Hofbraeuhaus. It’s constantly full of American and Japanese tourists. But there is also a tenacious group of cranky, colorful, Bavarians in full-on costume. For whatever reason, it’s the one tourist-magnet I can think of in the industrialized West where the locals are still present.

    Re: Pilsner. Ach, zum weinen. Jill “doesn’t like Pilsner”? Judas Priest. You’re in the Holy Land of beer. Try some frqxking Pilsner. They fq#8ng invented it. (Or at least stole it fair and square from Munich.)

  13. I will third the Franziskaner Weißbier — we get it in Hamburg and I drink it all the time. Love it. Paulaner is also delicious, but we don’t see as much of it up where I live, so I will definitely have some in Munich.

    And Sarah, I love Belgian beer — Chimay Blue is my favorite — but I just can’t bring myself to love pilsner. Although don’t panic, Stickler, I did have a Pilsner Urquell with dinner last night. When in Prague, etc. I don’t actually hate it, it’s just my least favorite beer, so I tend to avoid it. I’ll admit, though, that the Urquell was surprisingly delicious. Perhaps I’ve been fooled by the imported Urquell I’ve had in the States.

    Prague weirdo updates: Yesterday some idiot frat boy regaled me with the story about how he physically assaulted a hooker who he claims stole his phone, and today the guy sitting next to me in the internet cafe is looking at porn. Intently. And typing with one hand. (I’m trying not to look). Joy.

  14. Well, I’m here, so automatically makes the place better. I think good public transportation is a big one. Picturesque. Can’t take two steps without stumbling over history.
    Wait, did I just describe China?
    I really love Hefeweizen, as well as stouts, so Konstanz’s combination of being in Germany and having Irish pubs works out pretty well (though Guiness is not a favorite).

    I’m a bit sad that I’m by the beautiful Lake Constance (Bodensee) for six months, and none of the months in question are summer months. Guess I’ll have to go visit again next summer.

  15. My “weirdos in Prague” story is that when I was there, I was walking down Wenceslas Square, and a woman grabbed my upper arm. Since I hate being touched in public by strangers in a country where I don’t speak the language, I brushed her off rather roughly, and lo and behold, out of an alley comes a police officer who accuses me of soliciting prostitution. I became insistent that I would not pay any fine unless I did so at a police station with someone who spoke better English.

    Fortunately, at the station, it was all worked out in like…five seconds. Nevertheless. Weird.

  16. Check out the National Marionette Theater. They did a version of Don Giovanni that had me almost in tears at the end.

    We heard some good blues in both Prague and Munich.

    Someone recommended the Sedlec Ossuary to me, but I never made it. Directions here. If you like that kind of thing.

  17. Jill- you and I should probably never hang out if you don’t want the wierdos flocking…. somehow they seem to be attracted to me too (although in the end its always a good story)

  18. Many of us consider ourselves to be “weirdo magnets.” Do not dispair. It says nothing about us. There are just a huge number of weirdos out there, looking for random people to harass.

  19. It’s odd how weirdos tend to be attracted to certain people. They don’t bother me much, but I have a friend who gets accosted nearly every time she leaves the house. When I’m with her, the weirdos will approach her and completely ignore me. So strange.

  20. I loved the crazy stuffed animals in the national museum…..ok when i say loved I mean was totally freaked out by, especially as some of the rooms aren’t well lit. Some of their expressions though are hilarious, poor little animals.

    Also you gotta love the beer, and of course the prices. When me and my friends went last summer we were astonished at how cheap you could get a 3 course meal for, and beer for like, 50p..compared to the UK it’s amazing, and the food we had was so good. It’s such a beautiful city, I recommend watching the sun come up on Charles bridge. Then again, I am going again next week and doubt it’ll be so fun in the winter…it was cold enough at dawn in August!

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