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Friday Random Ten – The ’24’ Edition

Jill

Happy birthday to me.

I’m spending it at Yearly Kos. If you’re around, I’ll be speaking on a panel at 1pm, and you should come.

1. Modest Mouse – Talking Shit About a Pretty Sunset
2. Tom Waits – Hang Down Your Head
3. Death Cab for Cutie – Company Calls
4. Yo La Tengo – Deeper Into Movies
5. Lyle Lovett – My Baby Don’t Tolerate
6. Maxwell – For Lovers Only
7. John Coltrane – They Say It’s Wonderful
8. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds – Girl at the Bottom of My Glass
9. The Kinks – Starstruck
10. Bright Eyes – It’s Cool, We Can Still Be Friends

And a Friday Birthday Meme:

If you could go back and talk to your 24-year-old self, what would you tell her/him? And if you’re even more of a baby than I am, what would you want your future 24-year-old self to keep in sight and remember?

And, because I’m asking all of you for your deep life advice, I will reciprocate with the Ask Me Anything game — ask whatever you want, and I’ll answer by Sunday evening. It’ll also give me something to do at the airport.

43 thoughts on Friday Random Ten – The ’24’ Edition

  1. I turned 24 at the beginning of 2004, so it wasn’t that long ago, but since turning 24 I’ve bought a condo, got married, had over five skin biopsies taken from my face, each leaving a 1-4cm scar, had melanoma,struggled with depression the whole damn time, oh, and had a high-drama job, which I just moved on from.

    I would tell myself: stay in counseling, it’s a long term project, not just for crisis management.

    Actually, at 24 I wasn’t even IN counseling, so I’d have to tell myself to go get an appointment ASAP with the great counselor I found a year later (and didn’t keep seeing regularly till that brush with cancer kicked my emotional ass).

    I would also tell myself: ask for help, reach out to your partner and friends, you don’t have to be such a trooper all the time.

  3. If I were thrown back in the middle of the work day, I’d only come up with, “We’ll have worse than Reagan.” I’m sure if the time machine appeared at my home I’d be reflective enough to offer advice.

    All Day/Little Red Book – Brian Wilson
    Tomatoes – Hot Butter
    HAYDN: Op 64 No 2 in b – iii, Menuett – Caspar da Salo Quartet
    A Love Supreme, Pt. 3: Pursuance [Antibes, 7/26/65] – John Coltrane
    Rosebud [extended remix] – Sparks
    Nursery Chymes – The Homosexuals
    Nag Nag Nag – Cabaret Voltaire
    What’s in a Name? – Jihad Jerry & the Evildoers
    Pinocchio – Oreskaband
    rough sex – VVM
    Cabin Piece 2 – sonitus intortus w/the Pink Moon Orchestra
    Jane Empire – DJ Pantshead vs. Jefferson Starship vs. Alec Empire

  4. Happy Birthday Jill.

    Let me think… I have to try to remember what I was doing at 24.

    I think I’d tell myself: “Roy? Go visit your grandfather, he’s not long for this world. Get a new job, you’re going to hate this one more than you’ve ever hated a job in about eight months. Don’t stop exercising, you started regretting it when you were 26/27. Oh, and get back in school.”

    As for questions…

    1. If you were going to make a pizza with no restrictions on what you could top it with, what would your perfect pizza be?
    2. What do you think of the Nintendo Wii? Do you want one? If you have one, how do you like it?
    3. Mr. T is pretty awesome, right?

  5. Happy Birthday, Jill!

    In 100 words or less, why should Everybody Hate Raymond?

    What is the most ridiculous comment you’ve gotten while blogging?

  6. Happy birthday. First, my “I Got Me a Job!” FRT:

    Artist — “Song”

    Ludacris — “Keep It on the Hush”
    Lamb of God — “What I’ve Become”
    Jack Johnson — “Dreams Be Dreams”
    The Beatles — “All You Need Is Love”
    Gravity Kills — “Forget Your Name”
    Johnny Cash — “A Boy Named Sue”
    Jack Johnson — “Rodeo Clowns”
    A Perfect Circle — “Lullaby”
    Matisyahu — “Late Night in Zion”
    Nine Inch Nails — “Down in It”

    Bonus for no particular reason: Jurassic 5 — “What’s Golden”

    As for your question, i’m 24 in seven months, so i’m not really sure if i’m far enough away from that date to give myself useful advice. I guess the closest thing is to remind myself to be patient with students, assuming that that’s the job i wind up with.*

    My question for you: I’m planning to attend law school sometime in the next five years; do you have any advice for surviving the first year?

    *I’ve been offered a job teaching high school, but i’m waiting to hear back from a law firm (hopefully today) about a paralegal position, which is the job i really want.

  7. Happy Birthday!

    At 24 I was hoping to be in graduate school pursuing a doctorate. I would tell myself, “don’t do it, it’s not worth it”!

    What do your parents do for a living? Do you have school loans? When do you first remember thinking about being a journalist?

  8. Happy birthday, Jill.

    1. “Don’t Get Me Wrong”, The Pretenders
    2. “Rock ‘N’ Roll Band”, Boston
    3. “Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?” Chicago
    4. “Drinking In L.A.”, Bran Van 3000
    5. “Mr. Wendal”, Arrested Development
    6. “Games People Play”, Alan Parsons Project
    7. “Ask”, The Smiths
    8. “Thick As A Brick”, Jethro Tull
    9. “The Rain Song”, Led Zeppelin
    10. “Magic’s In The Makeup”, No Doubt

    As for what I’d tell my 24 year old self, I guess I’d say 1) Take more risks and 2) Assert yourself more. Somehow, Jill, I don’t think you have a problem with either of those.

  9. What I would tell my 24-year old self?

    1. Make sounder financial decisions. Establish a direct-deposit savings account at a bank/credit union separate from your checking account so you have to actually GO there to withdraw money. Start a Roth IRA (I think they were around then – gah! I’m old…). Participate in your company’s retirement program as soon as they’ll let you. Avoid credit cards like the plague – have no more than one and try to keep it paid off as much as possible.

    2. When you buy your house, start a savings account that will be for nothing but house maintenance. Trust me – when the roof goes, the plumbing goes, and the furnace/air conditioner goes, *all at the same time*, it will be worth giving up those $40 pair of shoes you’ll wear once.

    3. Watch your diet and exercise more. You’ll be glad you did.

    4. Get politically involved NOW. You think Reagan sucks? Oh, you don’t know the HALF of it. You’ll look back at Reagan and think, “Well, he wasn’t so bad ….”

    5. Explore your sexuality more, while you’re still flexible enough to really enjoy it. You’re kinkier than you realize. 🙂

    Question for Jill:

    If you could have 3 wishes, what would they be?

  10. Happy Birthday, J-Fil. Hmmm, may need to work on the abbreviation.

    1. Stop! by Erasure
    2. Mansion on the Hill by Neil Young
    3. Gone by Helmet
    4. Sergeant Rock by XTC
    5. Dive by Propellerheads
    6. Train Time by Memphis Slim
    7. For a Few Dollars More by The Upsetters
    8. Buzz Me Blues by Louis Jordan
    9. The Commercial by Wire
    10. Brandenburg Concerto 1, Movement 4 by Wendy Carlos

    Here was my 24-year-old self, graduating from law school in Austin. It would have been: BUY SHITLOADS OF DELL STOCK AND GO INTO DEBT TO GET A HOUSE… ANY HOUSE. Because I might have been able to retire by the time I morphed into my 34-year-old self.

  11. Happy b-day…

    Restrospective Top 10:

    “Delirium of Disorder” – Bad Religion
    “Stop Thinking and Follow” – Destroy!
    “Tout le monde” – Manau
    “Our Lips Are Sealed” – the Go-Go’s
    “Shelter (Violin Mix)” – Sarah McLachlan
    “Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck” – Prong
    “Close to the Front” – Amy Winehouse
    “Skeleton Key” – Wendy & Lisa
    “Samba Beach” – Mason Williams and Mannheim Steamroller
    “Qui m’aime me fuit” – Zazie

    Well, my 24th birthday was nearly 11 years ago. I’d have said get divorced now and get ready for the damn surgery, you idiot! Yeesh, married at 24… What was I thinking???

  12. Happy Birthday, Jill!

    I would tell my 24-year-old self to cherish every moment with family, because you really don’t know when they’ll be gone. That year, my younger cousin (who was more like a brother) died in an accident, and it tore me up inside.

    Your turn: How did you know/decide what you wanted to do with your life?

  13. Happy birthday!

    When are you going to Hamburg?
    @ the readers: Are anyone planning a welcome party?

  14. Actually, by the time I was 24, I was all ready screwed. I’d just tell myself to start damage control at that point. No, if I really could go back and give my younger self advice, I’d go back to 21, right as I graduated from college. I’d tell myself not to screw with grad school, to get that kick-ass tattoo I always wanted, and move to one of the coasts and set up residence in some bohemian neighborhood. Oh yeah- DUMP HIM!!! NOW!! That’d be the big one. In other words, I’d tell myself to stop being a Responsible Young Adult(TM), and start living life on my terms, because the responsible adult thing is highly overrated, and you’ll end up there at some point, anyway.

    Happy 24. Hope it’s all you dreamed it would be.

  15. Happy Birthday Jill!

    I’m turning 23 this year, so I think I’m a little bit close to 24 give my future self anything to remember. By 24 I should be getting started on my masters though so maybe “remember how much you wanted this!” might be right.

  16. At 24 I was hoping to be in graduate school pursuing a doctorate. I would tell myself, “don’t do it, it’s not worth it”!

    Y’know, I was applying to graduate programs when I was 24 as well, and ended up getting into one and moving across the country.

    While I don’t regret the move, I think I would tell my 24 year old self to think a little more carefully about graduate school. I’m not saying for certain that I would have decided differently with my older perspective, but given that earning my Ph.D. will be a financial Pyrrhic victory, I just might have.

  17. Happy birthday, Jill!

    Hmm, I turned 24 two short summers ago, and the only advice I could think to retrospectively give myself is “save your money because all your friends are going to get married in rapid succession, and bridesmaid duties are expensive.”

    My overtly unsophisticated random 10:

    1 Bruce Springsteen – Dancing in the Dark
    2 Weezer – Pink Triangle
    3 Aphex Twin – Girl-Boy Song
    4 Garbage – Drive You Home
    5 Glassjaw – Cosmopolitan Blood Loss
    6 Lords of Acid – Nasty Love
    7 Peaches – Rock the Shocker
    8 Daft Punk – Human After All
    9 The Notorious B.I.G.- Nasty Boy
    10 Nine Inch Nails – The Only Time

  18. Happy Birthday, Jill.

    If I was talking to my 24 year old self, I would have mentioned the following:

    1. Have more confidence and be more assertive.

    2. Learn and practice networking among friends, co-workers, and your supervisors. It is critical not only for career success, but also helps improve socialization skills.

    3. Spend more leisure time with your friends and less time on personal computing projects.

    4. Be more adventurous. Travel!!

    5. Start paralegaling now if you are considering law to get a taste of life in large Manhattan law firms. Be forewarned that given your personality and interests, you will find much of the work to be mind-numbingly tedious over long spans of time. Though it is good to work hard and persevere through long tedious workweeks, make sure you know your limits to avoid burnout. It sucks.

    6. Do more creative writing. Don’t allow fear of writing crappy sentences impede you.

  19. Happy birthday, Jill!

    1991 seems a long time ago, but I can still remember turning 24.

    I know you already love travel, but let me echo those who tell you to do it, even when it stretches your sanity and your budget. The money to do it comes quicker when you’re older, but the time, oh, the time… I didn’t do a lot of traveling then.

    At 24, I was consumed with guilt for wanting things for myself. I was a hopeless people-pleaser. I would tell my 24 year-old self to be a better drawer of boundaries, a better sayer of “no”.

    Jill, you’ve written before about your conviction that you (probably) won’t get married. What would have to change about you, about men, or about the institution of marriage itself to make the prospect more appealing?

  20. Hope you’re having a wonderful birthday, Jill! 🙂

    I really don’t have any idea what to say to my 24 year old self. At 19, it seems so far away, even if I know it isn’t…

  21. Get your Roth IRA going if you haven’t. Two grand invested each year will be a lot in 40 years.

    And Happy Birthday.

  22. I would have told my 24-year-old self, “Do not ask [name of ex-wife deleted] to marry you.”

  23. Wow, I’m kind of struck by the comparison between my message to my future self and Moo’s message to his/her past self, where I’m basically egging my future self on with the graduate work and Moo’s saying its not worth it.

    Kind of scary, really. I hope I don’t end up regretting it.

  24. http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2007/07/happy-birthday-.html

    Happy Birthday, Jill- sorry the lil guy here can’t fit 24 candles on the cake!

    And that pretty much would be the advice I’d give, now that I’m 42. Not everything is gonna be perfect; life is full of surprises. Roll with them, give it your best shot, be honest and have fun. Enjoy something out of as many days as you can, don’t give up on yourself, live and love passionately, and always be your own best friend. If you take care of yourself, you will be better able to help others along the way.

  25. Happy Birthday!

    My advice to my future 24 year old self would be ‘Take care of yourself. Do what you need to do to be happy. Also, keep up with the regular breast exams, they could save your life. ‘

    My question- what’s been your best birthday so far, and why?

  26. Happy Birthday, Jill!

    I have no idea what I’d tell my future 24 year old self, so I’ll go straight for the question. What are the three biggest reasons behind your decision to go to law school?

  27. Happy Birthday Jill!

    I am not too far removed from 24 myself, but if I could go back, here are a few things that would have been helpful to know: Be confident, more confident (and do NOT feel bad/guilty about it!). Keep up with your close relatives. Be friends with your parents and grand-parents – you are old enough to have this kind of enriching relationship with them. Go out of your way to keep in touch with good friends even when they live thousands of miles away. Explore the world. Explore yourself. It’s a fabulous journey – enjoy the trip!

  28. You’re 24? Jeebus…

    If I had a chance to talk to my 24-year-old self, I wouldn’t have anything to say at all. No warnings, no advice, nothing. The life I’ve had makes that conversation pointless.

    *****

    Given my penchant for the integration of disparity, I’ll ask a twofer:

    Where did I leave the keys to the Wombatmobile?

    Will feminism die with the end of cheap energy?

  29. happy birthday! i am 24 now, but only for 6 more days, so i can’t really answer your question. i’m about to finish my masters and just got a kick ass job as a librarian at a university, so i must be doing something right. ; )

    my question is – what prompted you to become such a kick ass feminist?

  30. Hmm. Words of wisdom to the 24-year-old Ankathry:

    1) It is in fact UNhealthy not to argue with your best friend/roommate every now and then. If you’re worried about her drinking or concerned that she has withdrawn from you, TALK TO HER ABOUT IT. There’s a possibility that you’ll lose her, but that will definitely happen anyway if you let your anxiety and resentment fester.

    2) Get out of that relationship. Now. He’s a good guy, but you’re terribly wrong for each other. Not being able to make it work with him does NOT mean that you won’t be able to make it work with someone else, someone happier with himself and much better for you.

    3) Travel. Find a way to do it.

    4) Accept every invitation you get to a party. If you keep turning them down, you’ll stop getting them.

    5) Having a fling with a married man is depressing and unnecessary. Don’t.

    6) Good call on that Louise Brooks haircut!

    7) Take the guitar lessons, sing on amateur night.

    Happy Birthday, Jill! You’re way ahead of where I was at 24 just by having this awesome blog.

  31. I’m a baby! hehe. 24 is four and a half years away for me, which I think is long enough that I might have forgotten some of the stuff I feel glad to know now. So, what I hope my 24 year old self knows:

    1. I really can’t feel satisfied if I don’t feel like I’m helping people, or even just one person.

    2. You don’t have to be the best at everything to make it worth doing.

    3. Don’t let people make you feel guilty for what you like.

    4. Just because people enjoyed taking Econ 101 doesn’t actually mean they are infinitely smarter than you.

    5. It’s important to have some things you do just for you.

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY JILL 🙂

  32. I would go tell myself, “Go to the doctor and get medication for depression right now. Don’t wait until you’re almost 30 and have fucked up your career beyond repair.”

    That, and, “Short hair looks terrible on you.”

  33. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what I would be able to teach my younger self if I had the chance, so I’m coming into the discussion primed. The problem that I’ve experienced with the thought experiment is essentially the Buddhist one – that it is exceedingly difficult (if not impossible) to really communicate anything meaningful to another person. “Kill the Buddha,” after all. If I was able to travel through time and tell my 20 year old self some of the foundational truths I’ve discovered in the intervening years, I’m not at all sure it would have meant anything meaningful to my younger self.

    Think back to when you were a kid, and your parents told you the deep truths they had discovered… I distinctly remember thinking during these conversations, “Yeah, no duh.” I mean, most of it was obvious stuff… it was the experienced implications of those obvious generalities that contain the underlying meaning, and only through the sequential experience of the events that lead to these personal revelations can they be internalized.

    So, sure, I would try to wisen myself up, but I doubt it would achieve much. I would try to convey the profound understanding I’ve developed – most importantly my now extensive knowledge of that formerly mystical system called women-in-relationships-with-me. I would tell myself all sorts of things that would simply roll off my inexperienced back. It would be frustrating, I’m sure. My younger self would end up with bruises.

    As for the “ask me anything” game, as the guy sitting next to you on the floor Friday, the question has to somehow relate to your fantastic hair. Lemme see… I could ask how much a haircut costs you, or how long it takes you to get ready in the morning… but those aren’t questions I legitimately care about. I’ll just stick with the unadorned compliment.

    Oh, and the ykos attendee that said you were aiding in disempowering women is… shall we call it “a little sensitive?”

  34. Happy Birthday!

    If I could to talk to my 24 year old self, I’d try to convince him to radicalize sooner. I would tell myself not to lose touch with people. It’s hard sometimes, but it’s worth it. Last but not least, I’d tell myself to write letters. There’s just no substitute for pen, paper, envelopes and stamps.

    No questions…

  35. Happy Birthday Jill!
    I’m not even in my 20s yet, so, I don’t know what I would say to 24 year old me. But I’d have told 13/14 year old me to have tried out for the basketball team, it may have payed off in scholarships.

    What was the easiest and hardest part of college?
    If you could tell your freshmen self one thing, what would you say?

  36. I’m 24 right now and here is what I tell myself all the time:

    start exercising. get a bike or something. keep in touch with your friends. there’s a reason you like them. and start taking your own damn advice!

  37. Happy Birthday Jill. Apologies for the late wishes, I was unable to get to a computer yesterday. Hope you had a good time.

  38. Jill,
    Happy Birthday(belated)! And I’ve so enjoyed your blogging of YKos!

    What I would have told myself 6 years ago…. I would have told myself to not be afraid of change. I was about to sell the company that I had dedicated 5 years of my life to, and I was terrified of what was next. I wanted freedom, yet responsibility brought me comfort. I wanted to feel grown-up but I wanted to exploit my youth. At 24 I had never been more scared and curious at the same time, I encourgage to explore your curiousity.

  39. At 24, near a hunnert years ago now, I already had a 4 yr old and was stuck in a job I hated that I would keep for another 4 years. I think I would have told myself that I could go back to school somehow, to lose the weight then–it really is easier, quit smoking NOW, spend more time with Grandma while I can, enjoy my child more and worry about what everyone else thinks even less, get a different job, leave Georgia…oh, pretty much turn my life upside down.

    I wouldn’t have listened.

    Happy Birthday and don’t listen. Life is all about the bumps and bruises we earn along the way. It does more to make us who we are than the times when everything goes the way we want.

  40. Happy (belated) Birthday!

    Advice to me at 24:

    That dog will be one of your truest companions and when he leaves, he will take part of your soul, but it will be worth it. Not so the guy you just started dating.

    Start the business now. Get the manufacturers lined up and the shows/stores contracted. Put up a basic web page before be everyone else figures out how to exploit your niche. Then get out in eight years when the market floods so you don’t end up hating the thing you used to love.

    Never, ever agree to make a wedding dress.

    Enjoy your friends, dancing, late night conversations and the ability to pick up and go. These will be the things you like best about yourself in retrospect.

    Preventive and corrective health visits, both mental and physical, will save you a lot of pain later. But if you can’t rouse yourself to do it now, know that you will do it later and, for at least 20 years (and counting…) that will work out okay.

    You only have one semester left of school. I know you don’t believe me, but it’s true – I did the math (which you get better at when you’re older) and it would be a good idea to finish before you leave the state…

    Question for you:

    What is something you’ve always wanted to do but have so far talked yourself out of doing?

  41. Happy belated birthday Jill! I’m not much older than you, so I don’t know what I can really offer. I turned 26 this year, so I turned 24 in May of 2005, which turned out to be pretty much the shittiest year of my life… my son died, my youth pastor, who was the best friend I ever had and basically my second father died three weeks later and then my grandpa died in November. Sigh. I guess I would go back, give myself a huge ass hug and tell myself “There is a light at the end of the tunnel”. I also would have kicked myself in the butt to get going with grad school- I just keep putting it off and putting it off. Finally, I would have gone back and told my anti-feminist, anti-choice self to get over herself, realize how the real world works and assured her that it was ok to want to be a self-sufficient woman and a mom at the same time- I was very determined to be a SAHM at that point, and when I finally tried after the birth of my son in 2006, I realized it was NOT for me.
    As far as a question for you, I guess my biggest question would be if you had any advice for how to reach a young girl who is thoroughly trapped in anti-feminist heaven and who is resistant to any attempt to talk to her about feminism (she’s 12). I am trying to just sneakily talk about feminist ideals and values in conversation, but I’m not sure what else I can do. Oh, and also of all the places you have visited so far, where was your favorite place to visit and where would you most like to go in the future?

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  43. My advice would be….

    Don’t rush it. Whatever “it” is.

    For me, at 24, it was a need to be married and have kids. For others, its the career. Or whatever. I have no idea why, but at 24 I felt like time was just passing me by. As I got older, I looked back and realized I could have taken my time and relaxed more.

    I also had a very hard time being alone–I needed friends and family around me all the time. I wish I had spent more time becoming comfortable with myself.

    Also–look forward and realize that what your dreams are now may not be the same dreams you have when you are 34 or 44 or whatever… so don’t be disappointed when things don’t go the exact way you had them planned out. When things get off track, you might actually be going in the right direction and not realize it. What I imagined as my life at 40 and what it actually is are two totally different things–but I am still very happy.

    Of course, at 24 when the 40 year olds were giving me this same advice, I thought they were full of crap.

    But jus’ sayin’….

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