In defense of the sanctimonious women's studies set || First feminist blog on the internet

The virtual moon hut is: OPEN

belledame

So, I was going to start off my week (hi! everyone. hi) with a nice long meaty post about “Sicko,” which I saw last week; then follow it with about eight or twelve dazzling epic posts on everything from queer femme gender presentation to a (promised, overdue) review of Dacia Ray’s “Naked on the Internet” to the history of Prohibition to several in-depth movie critiques to a Very Special Independence Day Post, many of which’ve been in the mental moderation queue for, o, a while now. trust me, they will might have been brilliant, someday. maybe this week. maybe.

oh, and I want to ask y’all a question about Battlestar Galactica, but I don’t quite have the nerve yet, because I just now finished the third season and I’m dying to talk about it with someone who UNDERSTANDS, but I’m afraid it’ll All Have Been Done Before and I’ll come off all “Hi! I just arrived from the past!” plus, you know: self-indulgent. and there’s a lot of Very Important Shit going on, penguins starving in Antarctica, alla that, and and and.

unfortunately, most of -those- pieces would require me to have an attention span that outlasts that of your average crank-addled gnat, and right now, at least, it ain’t happening.

so then I thought: well, maybe just go with it, then. Why be coy? Yes, it’s monthly euphemism time, and I don’t know about y’all, but well, frankly, mine tends to leave me kind of, well, ALTERED. as in, state. as in, emotional. as in, I’d have a glass of wine to take the edge off, as it were, for the physical bits; but see, in -other- respects, right now it’d kind of be like gilding refined gold.

So, I invite those of you who feel so moved to share, nay, overshare, your own experience of your Lunar Sisterhood of the She-Wolf Time here. run! howl! slobber! Here, for inspiration, I leave you with a poetical type poeme about the Just Before Time, of my own composition.

    An ode to my yoni, womb, and other beloved womanly bits:

the risen tide laps gently within my caves
slosh slosh
oh! the undertow!
oh! the breakers!
oh! a frigate!
if you don’t let the moon’s gift flow free pretty soon
i am coming in after it
with headlamp and pickaxe

82 thoughts on The virtual moon hut is: OPEN

  5. as in, I’d have a glass of wine to take the edge off

    My goodness, that’s fantastic! Despite being underage and actually bothering to adhere to the law, I can’t believe I haven’t thought about alcohol during my period. It’s so simple! And easy to obtain despite not being 21! (Not that I would, of course. Cough.)

    That being said, welcome! I really enjoyed your poem. 🙂

  6. I had to get on low dose birth control to make mine livable. Until I started taking the pill and it started working, I spent the first day of each period in bed with a heating pad with cramps so bad that I would almost throw up if I tried to stand. Childbirth can’t be that much worse. It’s not monthly after all. On an off note, wine does help somewhat with cramps in part because alcohol thins the blood. I wouldn’t recommend it a primary medication though.

  7. Two days before my period, I get into some kind of argument or into a debate on the internet. One day before, I am paranoid and extremely despondent about life. It flows three days, four at the most.

    Menstrual gear: The Keeper

  8. Right about now, I feel like peeking my head down in there and seeing just where the hell this moon gift is flowing because the mouth of my delta ain’t seen it in more than a minute! Of course, if I or my partner were ever up to having sex, then maybe I could coax it along but, unfortunately we’d rather have naps than have sex.

    As far as my moon week, it’s all about the anemia, baby!

    yoni al-bint: Iron Thief Extraordinaire

  9. Pingback: University Update - Sicko - The virtual moon hut is: OPEN

  10. Love the poem.

    I feel kind of left out… I don’t experience anything mind-altering at that time. I don’t want to admit that, however, as it’s pretty easy to get cast out of the hallowed group called woman. Please, tell me this doesn’t unwoman me.

  11. I lose count of the painkiller dosage and ride out my red wave with a strong held belief that I am a mermaid. Last time, I think my mother found me offering three wishes to a neighborhood dog. Then again, I could have hallucinated that. Whatever the case is, the pain…oh god…the pain….

    Seriously, she-wolf lunar cycle? I likes it. I hope my next cycle of delirium sends me down that vision.

  12. The Pill actually gave me PMS when I didn’t have it before. But it’s pretty mild, so I just deal with it since we really don’t want a baby right now. It’s definitely helped with cramps, though.

    I know everyone will hate me for this, but the only thing that helps immediately (other than handfuls of Advil) is exercise. Even a short walk around the block gets the blood moving to more useful places.

    A weird statistic: women who get at least 1200 milligrams of calcium a day (whether by supplement or dairy products) have fewer cramps. I’ve tried it, and it really works. So drink your milk (or take your calcium pills, whatever works for you).

  13. See, the period itself doesn’t suck for me.It actually brings relief from the hell that is the week before my period. Every month, I spend that week to week and a half going through almost every obnoxious pregnancy symptom. Yes, I get morning sickness. Every month. And my boobs grow 2 inches. And throb. Have I mentioned the burning pain? Oh, and I bloat enough that I have an entire (small) 2nd wardrobe for that half of the month. etc. etc. etc.

    I’d go on the pill again, except we’re trying to get me knocked up.

    Like I said, bleeding brings relief (though it’s always a disappointment. See above).

  14. I’m currently waiting rather nervously for mine (five days late so far) because I’ve been told to go off the pill one month a year and when I do my period is unpredictable and painful.

    Emotionally I tend to stay about as normal as a person experiencing lots of pain can be though. Which has made me feel like I’m missing out too.

  15. My cramps are minimal (though always a little at the end) but man, yes, I go crazy once a month. It’s always about stuff that’s real, but hyperexaggerated and taken the worst way possible. Yes, the internet is prime for seeing things to get into, but anything is, really.

    Sometimes I do clean more pre-menstrually, and I will feel all achey and awful often. Once I actually bleed I can feel pretty grounded and happy and earthy (good for making up with everyone I alienated the week before).

    My favorite was when my girl-bit doctor sent me to the crazygirl dr (“it’s a mood disorder”) and the crazygirl dr sent me to the girl-bit doctor (“it’s a gynecological issue”). Alternative medicine stepped in and I can mostly make it through the month now, but, I still pretty much always know where I am in my cycle.

  16. My period was wildly unpredictable before I went on the Pill (which my boyfriends found exciting, I am sure). Now it’s so … mundane. I don’t get the wretched cramps, I don’t get as crabby PMSy, nor am I PMSy for two weeks before my period decides OK fine, time to start, and it only lasts four or five days instead of seven.

    I really liked the title of this post … my husband and I joke around about Moon Time and having to be sent to the hut all the time. 😛

  17. I haven’t had a period in four months now.

    It may have been that last one that resulted in a fire. You know those bags full of corn that you can use as heat packs? If you use them for many years, they dry out. And then they light on fire in the microwave.

  18. Blargh, I am bleeding as I type this. Good timing, though, because now I know I won’t be bleeding when I go on vacation in two weeks.

    My period is like life in the Hobbesian state of nature: Nasty, brutish, and short. It barely lasts for 24 hours, but those 24 hours are intensely painful. The cramping leaves me weak and wobbly. It’s especially nasty now that I live in Japan, and don’t always have the luxury of slumping down on top of a nice western-style toilet to relax and relieve myself. Nothing sucks more than having to squat on top of a Japanese toilet when your body is having some sort of painful “event.” During my period, I have to support myself on all fours because I’m too weak to maintain a squatting position for more than a few seconds at a time.

    On the other hand, in Japan, I have discovered a stunning variety of comfortable, well-designed feminine hygeine products, the likes of which I never new existed when I lived in the States. So that kind of makes up for the toilets, a little bit.

  20. I’m loving this. And, while I usually dismiss the pre-menstual anything (other than cramps and bloating- I blame some study in a psychology of women/women’s studies class at KU that said (psychological symptoms of)PMS did not exist); I’m pretty sure that my boyfriend with whom I live with, would disagree. And, I can’t deny that usually the day my period begins, I feel some ridiculous relief, regarding my mood.

  21. All I’ve gotta say is YAY Menopause! The worst hot flash is a cool breeze compared to cramps, bloating, bleeding, dripping, leaking, and just general bloody ickiness.

    Plus menopause takes you–nay, wrenches you–from nubile, fertile, uncertain, could-get-pregnant-no-matter-what bother to easy peasy cronehood, when all of those concerns are washed away.

    I have no desire to revisit my menstrual glory days, thank you very much.

  22. When I was on the pill, it was always 4-5 days, mostly unremarkable, no pain, no crazy moods, just a little more edgy than usual and with a ridiculous craving for chocolate, which was probably socialized by my mother (or me using moon time as an excuse to eat chocolate).

    However, 2 months ago I went off the pill, mostly because I’d been on it for 5 years (ie, since I was 17) and wanted to see what it’d be like without it – I went on the pill originally because of month-long bleeding so heavy that with a tampon + pad I couldn’t sit through a whole class. I haven’t had a period since I went off, though I’ve had mild spotting, and my first two weeks after what would have been the placebo week of the pill were sheer, unbelievable agony – constant illness, cramping so bad I’d fall over – which then mysteriously resolved itself.

    When I actually do have periods, I’ve been using the Diva Cup for almost a year now – I recommend it to anyone, it’s fantastic.

  24. Lately my period’s been backwards. I get crams and the flow gets heavier after a couple days. I still have the salt-chocolate cravings the day or so before it hits.

    Here’s my haiku

    When I see the blood
    I’m happy because I know
    Toys are still all mine.

  25. I have a totally unrelated question, about Battlestar Gallactica. Where are you all getting season 3? I started watching it via Netflix this year, and they insist that the availability of all seasons past 2.5 is “unknown.” Has anyone else gotten it from them? Is it available elsewhere? Are you just watching reruns?

  26. I love it. Around Lunar Sisterhood of the She-Wolf Time, I praise the almighty Goddesses of the NuvaRing and regular exercise — the combination has me down to a very light and pleasant three days, four max, and has generally alleviated what used to be debilitating cramps and nausea.

    And am I the only one who kind of loves getting my period? The first day sucks because of the cramping and bloatiness and whatnot, but damn if the monthly gift of “Yay! You aren’t pregnant!” doesn’t thrill me every time.

  27. Until I started taking the pill and it started working, I spent the first day of each period in bed with a heating pad with cramps so bad that I would almost throw up if I tried to stand.

    Mine used to be a lot like that. But I got this nifty IUD, mirena…it is the most wonderful form of birth control ever. Hurt like the dickens going in but six months no period.

  28. I feel kind of left out… I don’t experience anything mind-altering at that time. I don’t want to admit that, however, as it’s pretty easy to get cast out of the hallowed group called woman. Please, tell me this doesn’t unwoman me.

    That’s it, you’re gone. Please turn in your lipstick at the door.

  29. Mine sort of insinuates thought of itself into my consciousness a couple days before it arrives. In addition, I have two other harbingers, one being a specific friend agonizing over her cramps a week before me and the other being the full moon and being morosely reminded of being told by the first Wicca book I read that period + full moon = power surge, and since then they’ve never coincided.

    Then things start getting really lucky: I’ll be either lying in bed or walking around, somewhat more aware of my body than usual, and I’ll get the impression that I should go to the bathroom and check and see if it’s come yet; I’ll sit down on the toilet and the first cluster of drops will land in the water.

    THEN come the cramps, which means that I take a dose and a half of whatever painkiller comes to hand, and fill several plastic water bottles and those nice square Simply Lemonade jugs with hot water. They get pressed up against the soles of my feet (due to advice from the afore-mentioned friend that cold feet escalate cramps), my lower abdomen, my back, and between my legs, and I have been considering for several months now improvising some sort of heatable dildo for use at this time. Just to place in and leave there.

    Now, that all being said, I have just yesterday discovered a magical cramp eraser: roller coasters. I had gotten it the night before last and woke up yesterday morning to plans of going to the local amusement park with my cousins. Was crampy and squeamish and uncomfortable but we got on the first ride and the weightless feelings and drops and so forth just totally chased it away. It came back in between rides for the first few times but eventually was gone for good.

    The only thing I’ve never found a cure for is the way my outer womanly bits start feeling heavy, like they’re soaked with too much blood just sitting in them like overloaded water balloons, which is very uncomfortable and makes me want to press a hand to my vulva and press the excess blood out, right in public. (Not menstrual blood, to clarify, just normal blood that sits in my labia (both sets) in too-high quantities. Really annoying.

  30. The physical pain is not that bad for me, its mostly the depression – the mood swings, the unexplainable crying in the office, while reading, or coding, the shouting at the boyfriend, the cravings for soup, or chocolate, and did I mention the need to cry every few minutes ?

  31. I suppose if I had reason to anticipate pregnancy I’d be happy for the “Yay! I’m not pregnant!” moment, but in my current unwanted celibate state, I’d be just as happy to pass on the bleeding thing.

    By the way, for those of you with cramps, start taking painkillers before the cramps start. Preventing an inflammatory response (which is what cramps are) is much more effective than stopping one which is already underway.

  32. Ya’ll wimminz is dirrrty. And krazy. I’ll surf the crimson tide, baby, just hand me that deliciously salty bag of potato chips and two advil. I guess that means I’ll be policing the door of hut and handing out tissues and/or wine. Glad to be of service to my (dirty, crazy) moon sisters. ARRROOooooo!

  33. Forgot: I also will need a tube of zit cream. I’m in my 30s, ferwolfssake. Why am I still pimpling out once a month?

  34. Someone asked about Season 3. The third (3rd) season of Battlestar Galactica is available at ITunes for download. I am currently right at the half-way point. It could be the best show on television right now.

  36. Mine leaves me stranded in the house for two days a month, unable to stray far from the bathroom. I have to change towels every ten minutes. No joke.

    Childbirth cured the pain though.

  37. I have to say that my period is actually quite pleasant, what is not pleasant is that I have PMDD and the horrible mood swings, strange need to cry in the middle of the work day, and contemplating the mysteries of death, are not my idea of fun. I’m not on the Pill yet because there’s no need, but I know I need to treat the PMDD soon and should start doing some more research. Anyone else have any experience with PMDD?

    Otherwise, horrid cramps (sometimes) the first day otherwise I bleed free and easy.

    “the risen tide laps gently within my caves”

  38. @Aishwarya:

    What a fracking pill are you taking? My doctor told me that this was recommeneded YEARS ago but that new pills can be taken for years without going off. Especially if you are experiencing very heavy symptoms you might want to ask your doctor again or consult someone else.

    Personally, never had cramps or PMS before I started to take the pill. Had to try about 4 for one that wouldn’t leave me bleeding right in the middle of the cycle. But now it’s just 1-2 days of being moody and the same with light cramps in my legs and not even every month.

  39. I have a totally unrelated question, about Battlestar Gallactica. Where are you all getting season 3?

    iTunes Music Store — $1.99 an episode.

  40. I’m not on the Pill yet because there’s no need, but I know I need to treat the PMDD soon and should start doing some more research. Anyone else have any experience with PMDD?

    I don’t, but I’ve heard that low doses of anti-depressants (especially the ones in the Prozac family) can be very helpful.

    Also, when/if you do go on the Pill, make sure you insist on a monophasic one (steady level of hormones throughout the month). The triphasic ones that doctors prefer to give you always sent me spiraling into a nasty depression that usually made me not want sex at all. Effective birth control, of course, but not exactly the effect I was looking for.

  41. Thanks for the advice Mnemosyne. I’m pretty wary about the depression factor with relation to the Pill since I’ve had issues in the past.

  43. Xana, I’m pretty sure I have PMDD (see my first comment). I was on Yasmin which is a monophasic pill that supposedly helps with PMS, and it made it worse. Every month I was on that was the worst period of my life. I was going crazy with the mood swings, the depression, the anxiety. It drove my husband nuts too. It eventually got so bad that I switched to a diaphragm.

    I mostly deal with the physical symptoms. I have nausea, swollen, painful boobs, incredible bloating, and some moodiness. I’m still trying to figure it out, so I don’t really have much advice. Plus, since I’m trying to get pregnant I don’t have many options as to treatment.

  44. Mine used to be a lot like that. But I got this nifty IUD, mirena…it is the most wonderful form of birth control ever. Hurt like the dickens going in but six months no period.

    I want that, the dr. recommended it for me, but the stupid insurance won’t cover it. Stupid insurance, idiots don’t seem to realize that the one upfront cost works out to be less than 5 years of pills. Next year when #1 goes to public school and I only have to pay for daycare for one kid, I am so getting that.

    As for the period, before I went on the pill, it lasted 8-12 days, heavy bleeding the whole time except for the last day or so, extreme mood swings, and with horrible, debilitating cramps the whole time, plus anemia. On the pill, it lasts about 5 days, moderate bleeding for the most part, mild cramps except for the first day or so (still kind of bad then, but not like it was), and not nearly so much in the way of mood swings, although I still get irritable. The anemia is also much better. I’ve had all sorts of different brands of pill and I never had much trouble with any one, except the Seasonale I went on after having kid #2. I loved the whole no periods part, but I gained 30 lbs in two months (with regular exercise and dieting because I was trying to lose the pregnancy fat), so I switched back to the monthly kind. Interestingly enough, the weight comes off a lot slower than it went on.

  45. What a timely post. My lower back is throbbing and my pelvic bone is all tender and I think I’ll be spending lots of time in the bathroom today, dealing with what my friends and I charmingly dubbed “period poo.” And while I’m sharing too much, before I lost my Keeper I used to really like poking at the larger pieces of uterine lining. It’s very cool. Like thick bloody phlegm. Ahem.

    Tender bleeding cunt
    Cramping in my abdomen
    Orgasms will help!

  46. Belledame, please bring on the queer femme gender presentation post! As a fellow queer femme I for one would love to hear your thoughts on this subject.
    P.S. I heart my menses (bumper sticker, anyone?!). I also wish I could “break the seal” though and just bring it ON already! It’s a relief when I finally bleed. After years of sporadic, irregular periods, I am pleased that my body is working like clockwork these days.

  47. thistle–oh, someone beat me to it. Yes, iTunes. Before that, my friendly local indie video store, til the bastards closed.

  48. Aishwarya, I agree with SoE. I don’t mean to second-guess you or your doctor (if that’s who told you to do this), but the Planned Parenthood site says there’s no reason for anyone to “take a rest” from the pill. If you got this information from a well-meaning friend, you might want to ask your doctor about it; if your doctor told you to do it, you might want to ask why or consult someone else. Of course, if there’s a specific reason why, please forgive me if it sounds like I’m overstepping my bounds by not knowing the whole sitch.

  49. My endometriosis makes the whole affair an utter nightmare. Having children made it better for a couple of years, but now my youngest is 6 and it’s coming back. Not to mention bloating, fatigue, migraines, cramping (as in ‘honey! someone is trying to rip out my insides with a dull butter knife. could you do something about that, please?’) and the worst–the clotting. I think I’m done, but NO! The dam breaks loose and the flood arrives–unexpectedly and with debris. Gross.

    I can’t wait for menopause. Yeah, I know I’ll go insane for awhile. It’s worth the crabbiness not to have that monthly misery. And there’s always soy!

  51. You know what sucks? When you go to the drugstore for a much-needed junk food boost and the best they have on offer are oreo cookies covered in MILK chocolate. i can’t believe i’m wasting all those transfats on MILK chocolate. and, they stick in my teeth. o well.

  52. lucizoe: well, for a REALLY good time in that regard, take a nice long hot bath on the heaviest day.

    “we make our own fun”

  53. I want that, the dr. recommended it for me, but the stupid insurance won’t cover it. Stupid insurance, idiots don’t seem to realize that the one upfront cost works out to be less than 5 years of pills. Next year when #1 goes to public school and I only have to pay for daycare for one kid, I am so getting that.

    Seriously. It cost me over $1,000…which super pissed me off, because my insurance SAID they would cover it and then, after it was done, said they wouldn’t. Viagra is necessary but an IUD…no…(stupid, short sighted…ignorant…sexist…*grumble*). But the way I looked at it…I was spending $40 a month on bc and my husband was spending unknown amounts of money on condoms (because I have two friends who have gotten pregnant on the pill)…so between the two of us it was actually cheaper to pay for it ourselves.

  54. Kyra – I get the wearing heavy-feeling labia thing too. It’s so strange, and doesn’t help with all the other craziness going on at that time. I bleed like mad for a day (tampon + pad and I’m still in the bathroom every hour), plus I get lucizoe’s “period poo” – I can go through a mega-roll of toilet paper in one day, all by myself. It’s a dubious honor, to be sure.

    What really frosts my flakes, though, is that I am simply the clumsiest thing in the world the week before my period. My husband will watch me do this whole horrible routine (which, I suppose if one were to film it, would be quite entertaining, in a Three Stooges kind of way) of dropping, bobbling, slamming, spilling, knocking over, almost slicing a finger off, and finally dropping my arduously prepared foodly bit all over the kitchen floor, and just sort of nod and say, “So, I guess your period’s coming soon, huh?”

    And then comes the shrieking and the crying and pronouncements of dire consequences upon those who would make light of my suffering. Which, of course, is in no way a mood swing. Not at all. Ab. So. Lute. Ly. Not.

  55. Yaz. Yaz. Yaz. Low dose, on 4 inactive (period) pills in the monthly pack of 28. Before, I had cramps so bad I regularly fainted from the pain and a heavy, heavy flow. Now, my period lasts about 4-5 days, sometimes light cramping, and a lighter flow. Plus Yaz, unlike it’s big sister Yasmine, did not cause PMS, mood swings, or headaches.

    It’s a shame though…now that I just graduated, I’m no longer on my parent’s insurance. Which means I have to go to the free clinic for my pills. Yaz is not part of their plan: they’re giving me the free sample of Yaz they have, but as soon as those run out in a few months I’ll have to switch to a different pill. Any suggestions?

  56. Well, this is timely.

    This month I have -not- had:

    – weird, angrier-than-necessary/usual moments (why the hell am I this pissed off over this? Oh, right: the period is due soon)
    – painful swollen breasts (sometimes I might even achieve an A cup) for anywhere from 2-14 days
    – excessive fatigue (yet – usually happens on heaviest bleeding day, and that hasn’t happened yet)
    – cramps (yet – goes along with fatigue)

    Since my diet changes very little month to month, it’s been hard to figure out what triggers PMS/menstrual aches and pains. However, I figured out years ago that Gatorade or other sports drinks could fix the fatigue and cramps like nothing else. Then I discovered bananas worked as well as the Gatorade. I think for me the trick is potassium, not calcium (though I eat a LOT of leafy greens, my non-dairy calcium source of choice – milk makes me break out really badly). Also, good chocolate. That’s a good pick-me-up. Chocolate is high in magnesium. And calcium, magnesium and potassium all affect muscle cramping.

    Which means the best cure for PMS would be my favorite smoothie in the world: chocolate, peanut butter, and banana, blended with vanilla frozen yogurt. Not that one needs an excuse to enjoy a smoothie like that 🙂

    I got a copper IUD about 3 years ago. The first few months came with unexpected bleeding and horrific cramps, but since then it’s been business as usual – and the copper IUD often causes increased bleeding and cramps, so I feel lucky for not really having side effects from it. And I do like getting the monthly indication that my birth control is working.

    Menstrual gear of choice: washable cotton flannel pads. Sea sponges. The frigging Keeper kept giving me yeast infections (and yes I washed and sterilized it), or I’d be all over it.

  57. I can’t believe no one here has tried Chinese medicine (e.g. acupuncture and herbs)! I’ve really seen it work seeming miracles, not only for the physical symptoms (cramping, bloating, fatigue, fibroids, etc.) but emotional ones as well. All without the nasty side effects of surgery or pharmaceuticals. If you’re lucky enough to live by a TCM school they usually have inexpensive clinics, and now community clinics are beginning to offer it too (at least here in Los Angeles). Anyone who is interested feel free to email me at adventuregrrl_at_gmail_dot_com.

  58. Things I’ve heard over the years that help, some of which was already touched on:

    Bananas (potassium)
    Heating pads (there’s a kind with a sticky backing you can put on the inside of the front of your underwear)
    And anti-cramping OTC drugs will also help stop the accompanying intestinal cramps.
    Ibuprofen, as an anti-inflammatory, apparently reduces blood flow (at least to an extent) as well.

  59. Jill-

    damn if the monthly gift of “Yay! You aren’t pregnant!” doesn’t thrill me every time.

    I’m so with you on that. Knowing I’m not pregnant is one of the few compensations for the blood and pain.

  60. damn if the monthly gift of “Yay! You aren’t pregnant!” doesn’t thrill me every time.

    Just a warning: It is possible to continue to have periods while pregnant. It can happen to menstruating women using any type of contraceptive or none, but is especially prone to happen to women on the pill.

    My aunt was on the pill when she got pregnant. Her periods continued, and she didn’t find out she was pregnant until she was 5 months along. That is, later than an abortion is practically available. She was absolutely devastated, though she seems to have come to terms with it since.

  61. My aunt was on the pill when she got pregnant. Her periods continued, and she didn’t find out she was pregnant until she was 5 months along. That is, later than an abortion is practically available. She was absolutely devastated, though she seems to have come to terms with it since.

    Oh good grief….don’t remind me of reality like that…I’ll be rushing my SO off for a snip. 🙂

  62. But the way I looked at it…I was spending $40 a month on bc and my husband was spending unknown amounts of money on condoms (because I have two friends who have gotten pregnant on the pill)…so between the two of us it was actually cheaper to pay for it ourselves.

    My insurance does cover the pill (mostly–they switched prescription coverage last year and the cost went from $4 to $15 a month, which is still better than paying full cost), so it isn’t bank breaking for me to be on it. I’d get sterilized if it were an option, but the insurance doesn’t pay for that either, and even if they did, they would no longer pay for the bc pill to keep me sane and with minimal pain afterward. But the IUD still sounds so much better, no more babies and period control, and it will be cheaper in the long run.

    And my sister got pregnant while on the pill and using condoms. That seriously freaked me out.

  63. I have been playing around with the pill lately – was on Yasmin, which worked okay for a while but soon did nothing for my horrendous cramps and heavy bleeding. Then I switched to Reclipsen, which did nothing AND gave me the happy fun bonuses of swollen achy breasts and a horrific drop in mood during the five or so days before my period. Like, we’re talking near-suicidal moods, and that was terrifying after going off antidepressants last year. Now I’ve just started Zovia, which gave me the fun first-month effect of three weeks of bleeding, but no cramps. We’ll see how it goes.

    Also I am leaning towards getting a Mooncup/Divacup/whatever. Any recommendations on silicone versus natural rubber? I don’t have an allergy to rubber or latex, but I feel like silicone would hold up better.

  64. I’m glad I’m not the only one who gets depressed during her period. Monthly depression is the one thing that bc didn’t fix. It took me forever to figure out what was contributing to feeling depressed. I knew that I would get depressed in cycles but I didn’t have any high times so I obviously wasn’t mildly bi-polar. Then I timed it, and, yep, it’s the period. I can deal with depression though. Unlike cramps it doesn’t make it impossible to function for at least a day each month. I just have to realize that I’m going to be a bit irrational while I’m bleeding so I don’t make any self-destructive decisions or avoid work because I feel emotionally miserable.

    I do think I’m going to be on bc for the rest of my pre-medipausal life. My mother had cramps as bad as mine are without medication, and she says that getting pregnant with her first child finally cured them. Since I’m gay, pregnancy is not necessary in the future, hence, the permanent bc.

  65. I haven’t had a red moon in over 2 years and believe me, it’s not from a lack of trying. It’s a pharmaceutical issue that doesn’t allow that tidal ocean flow.

    I actually miss my moon, which may seem totally insane to some women but I’m telling you, when it comes again I will be dancing around my room like a maniac praising the Goddess and lighting every conceivable candle, chanting, praying, and revisiting the power of the Yoni.

  66. I got Mirena last month, so I’m hopeful that this coming flow won’t be as insane as the last six months worth. So far I haven’t had any PMS signs like normal (I generally do the crying, clumsy, irritable crap), but it’s a little early yet.

  67. I have the world’s easiest period. Three days max, on time, neither aches nor pains nor depression nor acne nor breast throbbing nor unexplained anger or emotional outbursts. (My unexplained anger and emotional outbursts are pretty much explained by my other personal problems, and are scattered throughout the month.)

    So can someone please explain to me why, every time it comes up, someone tells me to go on the pill? Please. I don’t have sex with people who could get me pregnant, and I have cancer/uterine cysts in my lineage so I’m not going to screw around with hormones without a serious and compelling reason. Every damn time, “You should go on the pill.” Nobody can explain, they just think it’s a good idea. Everyone should be on the pill, they tell me. What is that about? Can anyone tell me? Is it some demographic thing? Was there a memo about going on the pill that I somehow missed? It’s like when I go to the doctor and they ask me if I could be pregnant (which is fine, I understand why they have to ask) and then when I say no, they SECOND-GUESS ME. (“You do know what sex can be, right? Tell me what kind of things you do.”)

    Also, you know what really sucks? Having a girlfriend who isn’t sync’d up to you yet during flu season, especially in a new relationship when the entire world is made of surfaces upon which to have sex. Week one, one person has the flu and feels awful. Week two, the other person is on her period and feels icky. Week three and week four, we switch places. Arg.

    I have also discovered a magic period-eraser: hard physical labor, as in, breaking rocks or 8 hours of rodeo riding. As in, “This is fun/productive/a good workout, but I never want to do this much of it again.” I once spent a day skiing, from 9 to 9, and another time spent a day moving boxes of books with few breaks and no lunch. Gone by four in the afternoon.

    Oh, and I started using the Keeper/Diva Cup/looks like a larval hot water bottle or possibly a repair gasket for a golf cart or a gnome hat for a tiny robot four years ago. Sometimes I like to calculate how much money I’ve saved since then. Minus the cost of the devices (I lost the first one), I’ve saved about $250.

    “Heavy Labia.” Also a great band name.

  68. I got Mirena last month, so I’m hopeful that this coming flow won’t be as insane as the last six months worth. So far I haven’t had any PMS signs like normal (I generally do the crying, clumsy, irritable crap), but it’s a little early yet.

    Well, my first period after insertion was actually a bit longer/more painful, but no cranky/moodiness After that every other month or every third month I had very, very light periods (as in a little pink when I went to the bathroom and no cramps)….after that nada…Hopefully you’ll have the same or better results!

  69. It’s like when I go to the doctor and they ask me if I could be pregnant (which is fine, I understand why they have to ask) and then when I say no, they SECOND-GUESS ME. (”You do know what sex can be, right? Tell me what kind of things you do.”)

    I would generally agree with you except I just had a discussion with a friend of mine who is 32 and was convinced it wasn’t possible (granted unlikely) to get pregnant without actual insertion.

    Of course she’s also my friend who thought that it was okay to have unprotected sex when she forgot her pills on a three day weekend, since she would continue taking them when she got home (hence child number three). Go public sex ed!! *headdesk*

  70. blnfrnk – i never get rid of mine while training for a marathon (running for 3-4 hours in a day). guess i’m just lucky that way. now that i’m perimenopausal w/ the moon flow every 2 1/2 weeks, i’m SO going on the never have one again pills

  72. I don’t have sex with people who could get me pregnant, and I have cancer/uterine cysts in my lineage so I’m not going to screw around with hormones without a serious and compelling reason.

    There is evidence that the Pill can prevent ovarian and endometrial cancer, if that’s the cancer your family is prone to. Though it’s pretty stupid that people couldn’t be bothered to tell you that.

    As far as the Pill and depression, I did a major amount of research the last time I decided to go on it and chose Alesse, which is one of the lowest-dose Pills you can get. Mircette is another low-dose option. I’ve been on it for about three years and the only annoyance I’ve had was when my health plan switched me from the name brand to the generic. The generic is NOT exactly the same! But short of paying for it out of my own pocket, I’m stuck with their decision. Best healthcare system in the world, my ass.

  73. I am too angry and weepy and headachy to say anything that makes sense. I will be like this until approximately 9 a.m. tomorrow, on Day 26. At that point, my mind will clear, but my body will be in too much pain to do anything about it.

  76. Before I went on the pill my periods were insane physically but not mentally. My emotions have never been affected in any way whatsoever. But it was like getting stomach flu once a month. Vomit, diarrhea, cold sweats, pain so intense I could only writhe around on the floor moaning in agony. Plus the blood. It was hell. Then I went on the pill and it was like happy-fun land.
    Interestingly I stopped taking the pill a few months ago (trying to get preggers) and it’s not so bad anymore. The cramps aren’t so bad, the diarrhea is bearable and the nausea is nowhere to be seen. I don’t know why it’s different now, maybe my improved eating habits? It’s incredibly unpredictable though. I never know when it’ll happen (anywhere between 21 and 27 days) or how long it’ll last. Yesterday I stopped bleeding so I thought I was done but today, surprise! More blood in my underwear. How fun.

    Ahh, the joys of womanhood.

  77. I’m on Estrostep Fe-28 (Norethindrone Acetate and Ethinyl Estradiol Tablets, USP and Ferrous Fumarate Tablets [not USP]). I don’t always take the iron pills at the end of the month, though. I don’t know the exact pros and cons of my brand of bc. My gynecologist prescribed it while I was in high school, and it really worked to make my period bearable. Not to mention that my school had a really strict attendance policy and missing one day a month with an excused absence actually put me close to their yearly limit. I’ve been taking it for several years now, and it certainly works for everything but being depressed during my period, which I honestly didn’t know was a common (or even a legitimate) problem until I saw all the other women here who have the same problem.

  78. What really frosts my flakes, though, is that I am simply the clumsiest thing in the world the week before my period.

    Oh, the clumsiness! I get that too, in spades. I walk into things, drop things, and trip all the time for a week, and then it goes away once I get my period. It’s bizarre.

  79. oh christ, me too. except for the “it goes away” part. but it definitely is more pronounced during That Time, the klutziness. not sure why that is.

  80. I’m on Yaz now and waiting to have my first period on it. So far it’s freaking me out by not causing me any discomfort. Not depressed, no bizarre month-long breast tenderness, no nausea, no nothing. Not that those are bad things, but honestly, that’s how I knew the old pills were *working.* So I’ll welcome the period, assuming I get one (I’ve heard the 24 days of active pills means no period for some women).

  81. I cannot recommend vitamin B6 enough. It was recommended to me by a psychiatrist for dealing with my pre-menstrual depression (approaching suicidal), rage attacks, and uncontrollable crying. Combined with cramping from hell. I take one B6 tablet everyday – problem solved (as in, I have mildish PMS and less severe cramping). Also, B6 is cheap and available at your local pharmacy, so it’s worth trying it for a month even if you don’t get great results.

  82. Cramps and aching like you wouldn’t believe… the aching is kind of worse than the cramps- it mostly hits my inner thighs, my pelvis, my back, and the bottom of my feet!

    The pill seriously helped with this, and it also reduced my bleeding from 9-11 days to 4-5.

    And I’ve recently realized that the week before my period I do 1 impulsive thing, like go on a blind date or tell someone how I REALLY feel. I wonder whether this is my doing something I wouldn’t/shouldn’t do otherwise or simply having the guts to do something I should be doing all along. Either way, I kind of enjoy it for the drama factor.

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